Until Forever Read online

  Her aunt is closest to me, her arm wrapped around her husband with a drink in her hand. She darts her gaze to me when I brush against her, giving me a wayward smile. I return the gesture, fighting with myself to find the strength to do what I know I need to.

  “Can I help you, son?” she asks with a hand on my shoulder.

  “Um. Yes, sorry. I-I need to leave. Would you mind giving this note to Latoya for me?” I hold the message between my fingers while planting my palm on her elbow.

  She peers at me for a moment, slowly taking it from me. “It looks like they’re almost done.” She points her sights to the center of the room, and I follow her. “Sure you don’t want to give it to her yourself?”

  I stammer back, “I-I really should go. Tell her congratulations for me, please.”

  She nods and fists the paper.

  “Thank you,” I let out and beeline it to the exit, but not before Mr. Reynard finishes his speech.

  “Jas?” Latoya calls my name.

  I step away, still fighting with myself on the decision I hate to make, but one I know is for the best.

  “Have you seen my boyfriend?” She sounds farther away now.

  “If you mean the young man you were talking to earlier, he had to leave. But he asked me to give you this,” the woman answers.

  “He left?”

  The confusion in her voice is loud and clear, and it destroys me. I have to do this. I have to leave so she can grow without me.

  “I have something important to tell him.”

  Those are the last words I hear as I rush to my bike. I throw my helmet on, not bothering to secure it, and speed off into the night. Tears prick the backs of my eyes, but I will them away. It’s for the best. She’ll be better without me holding her down.

  A rush of adrenaline fills me, and I black out, a failed attempt to push thoughts of Latoya from my mind. It hurts to think about her, to think about what I’m leaving behind. I’m no good for her, and she’ll realize it soon enough. Then I’ll be all alone, a hideous broken man, just like my pops.

  I have to do this. I have to forget about Latoya and shut off my heart.

  Time flies, and I don’t relax until I’m nearing the county line. It’s not until I see the farewell sign that I relax. But the moment is short-lived as flashing blue lights dance off my side mirrors.

  “Fuck,” I curse and pull over.

  I drop the kickstand, remove my helmet, and dig in my pocket for my license and registration. My heart pounds in rhythm with the officer’s shoes against the pavement. This isn’t anything new, a seemingly regular occurrence for me. The cops hate me; even when I’ve done nothing wrong, they taunt me.

  Not waiting for the cop to speak, I remove my helmet and hold out my documents. He takes them, and from the corner of my eye, I notice him surveying my profile. He doesn’t even look at my information while he slumps next to me.

  “Where are you going, son?”

  I freeze. I’d know that voice anywhere. It’s been ages since I’ve heard it, years since my father lost his job at Asher Mayson’s construction company.

  “Jasper?” Nico Mayson calls my name as more of a question.

  I sigh and slowly peek in his direction. “Mr. Mayson.”

  “It’s been a long time.” He hands me back my paperwork.

  I accept it. “Yeah, it has.”

  “You okay?”

  I smirk and shake my head. He’s always been good at reading me, even when I’ve said nothing.

  “You realize how fast you were going?”

  I nod. “I just want to get out of this town, that’s all. Wasn’t trying to cause any trouble.”

  “Where are you headed?”

  I shrug.

  “Still bad, huh?”

  I scoff. “Naw, everything’s peachy. Can I go?”

  Nico is silent for a beat. “You should stop by the house. We miss having you around.”

  I grip my helmet to my chest. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

  “We still care about you, kid.”

  I don’t respond.

  Nico pats my shoulder. “Be safe. You’re family, and if you need us, we’re only a call away.”

  I continue to bite my tongue. Deep down, I know he means it. The Maysons have always treated me like I belonged since the moment I became friends with Bax. But that was a long time ago, and I’m no longer the fourteen-year-old kid who used to raid their fridge.

  “Like I said, I’m good.”

  Returning my helmet to my head, I release the stand, rev my engine, and peel away before he can get out another word. The last thing I need is someone lecturing me. Leaving without Latoya is hard enough. Now I want to be as far away as possible.

  CHAPTER ONE

  LATOYA

  I’m late.

  Again.

  “Latoya,” Fiona, the head nurse, singsongs my name. Actually, it’s more like a growl—the roar of a pissed supervisor.

  From her tone alone, I can sense how frustrated she is. It’s not unwarranted; with a busy seven-year-old to raise alone, I’ve been running behind a lot lately. Even still, I prepare myself to recite the same thing I say every time.

  I avoid her gaze by pinning my ID badge to the waistband of my scrubs. “I know, I know, and I’m sorry. JJ wasn’t cooperating this morning, and I had a flat tire. But I’m here, and it won’t happen again.” I roll my shoulders to settle my nerves.

  Fiona doesn’t respond other than to furrow her brows at me. She fumbles around with something on the counter in front of her and sucks in a breath. Her posture is rigid, annoyance seeping from her loud and clear.

  Fiona clears her throat and hands me a patient’s chart. When I take it from her, I glance in my friend’s direction but choose to avoid the questioning look in her eyes. I’ve been friends with Harmony for a year now, and in that time, she’s grown to be the closest thing I have to a sister.

  Although we’ve recently connected, we’ve known each other a lot longer. Ages ago, we attended the same high school. When she joined the hospital staff, she didn’t recognize me at first. It makes sense. She is a year older than me, and we never hung out together. But I remember her and her twin sister, Willow.

  “There’s a new patient in room three-twelve. He was admitted last night for end-stage liver failure—cirrhosis. He’s jaundiced, has some abdominal pain, and excessive vomiting,” Fiona fills me in.

  As she gives me the rundown, I flip open the binder and scan the pages. Fiona’s voice fades into the background, and I freeze for a moment. Staring back at me, in bold, black typography is a name I haven’t seen or heard in a long time.

  Nicolas Vanek.

  “Latoya.”

  She calls my name, but I can’t answer her.

  “Toya,” she says louder. “Do you hear me?”

  I blink and glance up at her. “Yeah, sorry. Liver failure, got it. Do we have him on oxygen?”

  “Yes. He’s lucid but does struggle to breathe. He’s likely going to be here for a while. Ross saw him a few times in the past, ordered him to give up the bottle, but—”

  “He didn’t quit drinking.”

  “No, and it’s unfortunate because his condition would have possibly been reversible after the first or even second visit. Now it’s probably too late.”

  I drop my head, focusing on his chart again. She’s right. If he’d followed the treatment plan, he wouldn’t be in such a grave state. His levels are elevated, and he has a buildup of toxins in his blood.

  “Dr. Ross scheduled him for an abdominal CT when he came into the ER last night, and may need a liver transplant,” Fiona continues.

  “What’s the deal with his other symptoms? It looks like he has some bruising along his ribs, a busted lip, and a laceration above his eye.”

  She sighs and takes a seat. “He says that he fell down a flight of stairs.”

  She doesn’t need to say what she really thinks because it’s my thoughts as well. The entire town knows his story—an alcoholic with a bad gambling habit. If I had to guess, he lost a bet and couldn’t pay up. It’s his MO and has been since the day I met his son.

  Fiona hands charts off to other nurses then gives me a pinched smile. I return the gesture, rolling my shoulders back to wean off the look of disappointment in her eyes. She’s going to want to talk about this later, I can tell, and the truth is, I don’t blame her. Life has been a real pain lately. I guess at some point in time, I pissed off the Devil because it’s been one thing after another.

  First, it was finding out I was pregnant at eighteen and that my boyfriend had left me, all in the same day. So, I raised my son alone, with support from parents who took a while to come around to the idea of being grandparents at forty-eight. Our worlds instantly turned upside down, forcing me to figure out a new way to make it. It’s been a challenge to adjust and juggle our schedules. But lately, things have shifted, and my once-happy seven-year-old is acting out at home and in school. And every day he has more questions as to why he’s the only one of his friends without a dad.

  Today was different and probably the toughest day we’ve had yet. I’m drowning, which is why I’m late every other day. Harmony clears her throat, pulling me from my thoughts, and I realize that something has to give. I bring Mr. Vanek’s chart to my chest, making eye contact with my friend briefly. She grabs my wrist, stopping me from walking away.

  “Are you okay? JJ’s still having a hard time?”

  I sigh. “He had a nightmare last night that something bad happened to me and he had no daddy to save him. We were up half the night because he doesn’t understand why God didn’t give him a father,” I admit.

  “I’m sorry, love.”

  A wave of heat washes over me, my emotions building in an instant. But I suck in
a breath then let it out slowly to calm myself. I refuse to let this consume my day. It’s been hard enough as it is.

  I shake my head and lower my hands, making a fist with one and gripping the chart tightly in the other. “I hate it for him, you know? He was always so good and happy. And I’ve worked really damn hard over the years to make sure he has the best life and—” I pause for a beat and glance to the ceiling with my shoulders around my ears. “I don’t know what to do to help JJ understand. He’s only seven, and he shouldn’t be asking me if the reason his dad isn’t in the picture is because he doesn’t love him.”

  I step around Harmony, wanting to put this behind me and get on with my work. But instead, I twirl back to face her, unable to keep the thoughts from taking over.

  “I was up with him for hours until he finally passed out on my lap. And because I had to hold it together for him, I spent another hour silently bawling my eyes out, so he doesn’t see me break down. And then I had to fight with him to keep it together long enough for us to get to school.” I prepare to leave, only to stop again. “Which took like two fucking hours.” My voice is loud, drawing the attention of those around me.

  Harmony steps closer to me, lowering her voice when she speaks as if to suggest that I do the same. “Okay. Okay. Breathe, Toya. Maybe it’s time to explain the situation to him. He’s a smart kid and is probably more ready for the talk than you think.”

  I nod, and my chest heaves from my heavy breaths. “I know he’s smart. But I need to figure out how to tell him,” I add while stepping backward.

  “You need a break.” Harmony smiles—her quiet attempt at making me smile, too.

  “Tell me about it,” I let out with a half-grin.

  “You need to get out. We can’t do anything about that jerk walking out on you. But, we can put that energy somewhere useful. You have a beautiful, curly-headed cutie who needs to see his momma strong. You’ve got friends and family who love you, and this is only a rough patch.”

  I exhale sharply and shuffle from one leg to the other.

  “You know what. Take the day off tomorrow. I’ll switch shifts with you, and you can drop JJ off at school. Then spend those hours by yourself. Sleep in, watch a movie, masturbate, or whatever—but try to relax, and after school, take JJ to your parents a night early.”

  I nod again. “That does sound good.”

  “Yup,” she cheers. “Then you can dress up and meet the girls and me at the compound. We’re getting together for drinks and a game of pool to celebrate my cousin July’s husband Wes’s birthday. Nothing too crazy, but you should come.”

  “I-I don’t know. My mom has plans with the women from her book club. And I think I should spend it with JJ anyway. He may still be upset, and the last thing I want is to hear my father’s mouth.”

  “You can’t change that, whether it’s this weekend or when he visits them again six months from now. Your dad is going to find out about his behavior and why he’s acting out, no matter what you do. It’s inevitable, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take time for yourself or that you feel the need to retreat into a bubble. It’s going to be a while before things get better, but the best way to get there is to continue living.”

  “You’re right. But even if I wanted to go out, I couldn’t. I told you my mom has plans.”

  “Drop him off at my mom, then. I don’t think she’s planning on sticking around the compound, so I’m sure she’d be happy to see him. She’s been asking you to stop by. This way, she gets what she wants, and you get to be around other grown-ups for a few hours. And you can still drop JJ off with your parents on Friday as planned,” she boasts, the thrill written all over her face. She thinks she’s got the perfect plan, and I love her caring so much.

  “I’ll take the morning and rest, but I’ll stay home with my baby until it’s time for work on Friday. But thank you, though, I really could use the break, and I’ll take whatever shift you need me to.”

  “No, I want you to come. You might even meet someone. The new guy is single and very cute.”

  “Nope. I do not want another man. I don’t need that headache.”

  “Oh, come on. I’m sure you can use a little dusting.”

  “I’m pretty well dusted, thank you. I-I’m over relationships at this point.”

  “That’s what you think. But if you get back out there, you might find your boom and realize that isn’t what you want after all.”

  I shake my head in silent protest and stare at my friend. “You’re crazy,” I add sarcastically. “So, I’m going to get to work before Fiona fires me for not only being late but also for slacking off with you.” I point at her with raised brows and a pinched expression then finally step away from her. I chuckle and let out a soft breath.

  As I approach my patient’s door, she yells out behind me, “You can be there around eight, and there will be food.” Her voice is high and hopeful.

  “Bye, Harmony,” I throw back at her and stop to knock before entering the room. “Mr. Vanek. Um.” I swallow and blink rapidly. “I’m Latoya, and I’ll be your nurse today.” I awkwardly stretch my fingers to pull myself together. “It’s good to see you.” The end of my words fade out when I catch the scowl on his face.

  A lump forms in my throat, and emotions I’ve long since buried come boiling to the surface. And memories that once broke me work their way to the pit of my stomach. The resemblance has always been uncanny, but staring back into eyes that are the older version of that first man ever to break my heart, wrecks me.

  Even with sickness riddling his body, he looks like his son—he looks like Jasper.

  CHAPTER TWO

  LATOYA

  I step farther into the room. “How’ve you been?” I let out but immediately regret my words.

  “How the hell does it look like I’ve been?” he barks, his face twisted in the same way it was when I was with his son. A deep frown that’s a permanent expression.

  He’s mean and angry, even if you’ve done nothing to him. And while laid up in a hospital bed, he still chooses to be hateful. It was his nastiness that drove a wedge between him and Jasper—a toxic story about a boy who loved too much and a father who never cared.

  With my lips pressed together, I choose not to react to his aggression and saunter closer to his bedside. I take in his appearance, following the length of his frame to assess any apparent signs of pain or discomfort. There’s a gash above his brow, bruising along the side of his face, his collarbone, and arms as well.

  “I’m going to check your vitals, and I’ll be with you until your evening nurse arrives. Are you experiencing any pain, Mr. Vanek?”

  I say his name like we don’t know each other. As if I’m unfamiliar with how he treats people or how he blames everyone else for his problems. Like we should apologize for existing and not going through whatever it is he’s experiencing.

  When Jasper and I were kids, he never took me around his dad, not after the first time. We were sitting on his porch, laughing about something, and Mr. Vanek came home, drunk off his ass. He was rude, much like he is now, yelling and screaming. He went on about how I think I’m better than them when that was furthest from the truth.

  After that, we stopped hanging out there, but my father wasn’t the biggest fan of Jasper either, so while we spent some time at my house, we had to find other places to be alone together. He was a rebel, and being the son of the town drunk probably played a part in my father not wanting me to be around Jasper.

  But then again, no dad wants to think of their baby girl dating, especially the mysterious bad-boy types who exude horny teen vibes. He never outwardly disrespected Jasper the way Mr. Vanek has me, but my father never could hide his facial expressions. So, he chose the overbearing and overprotective route, and believe me, it was a pain in the ass. Dad was determined not to have his princess deflowered by a hoodlum. Only he didn’t know Jas the way I did, and he’s far from that. A little broken and sad maybe, but mostly misunderstood.

  I start with Mr. Vanek’s wrist, check his pulse, then monitor his heart rate and record his blood pressure. Next, I study his fluids and injection site for his IV. Aside from the beating he wears like clothing and the tight breaths he struggles to take, he’s holding on. He breaks out into a coughing fit, one that lasts longer than he must like because the complaining starts again the moment it is over.