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  Trisha’s grin grew wider, reaching her eyes. She glanced up at Alexis then back down at the phone. Maybe she thought Alexis didn’t look half bad either.

  *

  Trisha’s phone lit up on the couch beside her. She looked at the screen and felt the strangest tick of disappointment. The text was from Quanisha.

  How was the first day?

  She ran her thumb across her screen and started typing back. Good. Tons of homework already, but my professors are chill.

  But her professors and her pages and pages of reading were practically the last thing on her mind. It was weird and a little fucked up even. They’d just met—well, met again. They’d only had lunch, talked a little. No big deal. But Trisha kept thinking about Alexis. It wasn’t like she didn’t know why. Those few minutes they’d spent together that night in the VIP room were pretty unforgettable. Also, Alexis was really fucking fine. Trisha spent almost all of her time around beautiful women, but there was something about Alexis that made her so attractive to Trisha. It might have been the simple fact that she was tall, a little lanky, and awkward. Or that she was so, so cute and had no idea.

  After their lunch, they’d gone their separate ways. Alexis had said she’d had something she wanted to look into at her course counselor’s office, and Trisha had had a mountain of work to get started on. She’d climbed into her car and found herself smiling about that picture of Alexis in her bridesmaid dress. She’d found herself thinking about Alexis the whole way back to her apartment.

  That posh bachelorette crew hadn’t been busting with the types of chicks that Trisha usually rolled with. For all she’d known, they’d just been blowing through town. So yeah, seeing Alexis again was definitely a surprise. She slid her finger over her phone screen again and found Alexis’s number. That strange feeling, like a nerve being flicked, made her stomach twist again.

  With dropping out of high school, and going right to work, Trisha had grown up quickly. It had been by choice, and by choice she’d shielded herself from certain experiences that some dancers at her club considered to be part of the job. She’d dealt with asshole guys who got too handsy. She’d forgotten to pay her light bill once and spent a few cool winter days in the dark, but when she thought about Alexis, she knew she’d been missing out on one simple but important thing, a hallmark of your teenage years: relationships. The boy/girl drama of the high school dating game had never been for her, but by the time she’d realized that she was gay, she was already living on her own. And she'd been too busy to really do anything about it. Or so she'd always thought.

  Trisha shook her head and flopped back on her couch. She barely knew this girl. Why was she even thinking about relationships or a relationship with someone like Alexis? Actually, there was no someone-like-Alexis about it. She was thinking about dating Alexis, thinking about being with her in more ways than one.

  She wondered how people dealt with this sort of thing. Trisha was so used to putting on an act. How did you approach someone you were interested in? How did you even figure out if you were interested in someone enough to approach them? All this life experience, and Trisha couldn’t even figure out if she liked a girl or if she just enjoyed looking at her. And did she even want to date someone she’d met at the club? Alexis’s smile popped into her mind again, and the details of how and where they’d met suddenly didn’t seem to matter.

  Quanisha dated guys here and there, but they were almost always boys from the neighborhood. Quanisha never really talked about them, though, and when she did, she only mentioned what they did and where they went and maybe what they bought her. But she never mentioned her feelings. Ever. Were the feelings even there?

  Her phone chimed again. Another text from Q.

  That’s great! Going to CVS to pick up some stuff. Wanna come?

  Trisha didn’t even think of hesitating. Yes, she texted back, and then she hopped off her couch and grabbed her sneakers. She needed to get out of her house and out of her head.

  *

  Alexis barely beat her mom home. After they ate lunch, she and Trisha hung out a while longer at the pizza place on the edge of campus. Alexis had wanted to hang out a little more, but she’d had to see about some requirements for her major. Plus, Trisha had said she had to go. By the time she’d finished with her course counselor and made a quick pit stop at the bookstore, traffic back to Pasadena was crazy.

  Just as she dropped her keys in the kitchen basket, her mom’s Audi pulled up. Alexis grabbed a drink instead of heading straight for her room and waited for her mom. She came in the kitchen door, bubbly as usual, and kissed Alexis on the cheek.

  “Your dad’s in surgery, so it’s just me and you, sweetheart. How about we order in some pizza and you tell me about your day?”

  “Okay, but I had pizza for lunch.”

  “How about Thai?”

  “That sounds good. I’m going to take a shower first. I was walking around all day.”

  “Phew! It was hot out, wasn’t it?” her mom said. “Take some water with you tomorrow. Make sure you stay hydrated.”

  “I will.”

  Alexis’s mom touched her cheek and offered her that mom smile. “We’ll both get washed up, and then it is dinner time.”

  Alexis rolled her eyes and turned around as her mom did a little jig. Sasha got her playful side from their mom. She’d given Alexis a hint of her looks and her math skills.

  In the shower, Alexis tried not to think too hard about her family.

  Her mother ran a nonprofit that helped working mothers. In her free time, there were other charities, events, functions, always something. Jocelyn Chambers never stopped moving. Neither did Alexis’s father or her sister. They were all active in the community and loved by it, too. Most days Alexis felt like she didn’t belong to them. She didn’t have Sasha’s charm or intelligence. She didn’t have her mother’s do-gooder nature. She didn’t have her father’s drive.

  Forget the other stuff she was trying to figure out, most mornings getting dressed was the hardest part. She’d look at the dresses her mother had bought her and think how they looked on her too-tall frame. She didn’t have Sasha’s perfect body. Then she’d look at the menswear her sister had helped her pick out and think of her father’s reaction. She fell somewhere in the middle. She liked her white tees and her dunks, and she loved her mascara. Sometimes she liked tight jeans, too, like today. But it was hard to express it and impossible to explain to people who didn’t understand and didn’t want to. How do you get people to see that some days you just don’t feel right in your own skin?

  Things had gotten a bit easier, though. Now that Sasha at least knew what was going on, that expressing herself—her gender and her sexuality—was hard for her, Alexis had someone who would listen. Her mom was completely clueless, but she was trying. Her dad… he was just disappointed. He’d wanted a carbon copy of Sasha. When he’d gotten an oversized tomboy who turned out to be gay and couldn’t handle the basic pressures of life, it seemed like something in him had deflated when it came to his enthusiasm in calling Alexis his daughter. He loved her, but things were different.

  Alexis toweled off and changed into her pajamas. It was still early, but getting plenty of sleep was part of her wellness regime, a part she actually enjoyed. She’d eat, do her homework, try not to abuse the phone number privileges Trisha had given her by filling Trisha’s phone with texts, and then she’d go to sleep.

  Her mom was on the couch when she got back downstairs. She hadn’t washed up or changed, but that was about right. She’d also given Alexis her ADHD. Her mother just handled the symptoms better. She sat there, flipping through the channels, one shoe off, one halfway there. Alexis joined her with her backpack, but she held off on whipping out her work.

  “So, how was it?” her mom asked.

  “It was good. My English professor is a Delta.”

  “Oh, great! You can still pledge, you know, even if you’re not living on campus. Get settled in, see how feel, and then next
year, look into it. I know they’d love to have you.”

  Alexis grinned a bit at her mother’s enthusiasm, but the idea of devoting her time and emotions to such an obligation made her instantly uneasy. And they were just talking about it.

  “We’ll see. I made a new friend. She’s in my comp sci class.” Friend wasn’t exactly the truth, but she'd had someone to eat lunch with, at least for today.

  “Oh, honey, that’s great.”

  “Yeah, she’s a day student, too, so we’re going to study together and stuff.”

  “Baby, that’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you.” Alexis didn’t like being congratulated on things that normal people did all the time, but she knew her mom was coming from a good place. “How’s your wrist?” Again, she was just checking in.

  Alexis turned her hand upright and looked at the two-inch scar. It had healed nicely months ago, and it didn’t bother her anymore when she played her violin. “Fine.”

  Her mom leaned over and kissed her cheek again. “I love you. Here’s the remote. Food’s on the way. I need to use the restroom.”

  Alexis took the remote from her mom and turned to Jeopardy. Then she took a deep breath and focused on planning out the rest of the night again in her head. That lasted all of five seconds. Her meds were wearing off, and she was starting to lose her focus. There were assignments to think about, and she had to clean up her room, but then all that mattered was Trebek’s next question.

  Just as the doorbell rang, her phone buzzed with a text. It was a text from Trisha. Alexis stared at her phone and blinked twice as the doorbell rang again. She started to get up, vaguely recalling something about food and letting a delivery guy in, but all of her focus was on her phone. Her mom yelled that she had it before Alexis had completely gotten up. She nearly tripped as she sat back down and swiped her thumb across the small screen in her hand. Apparently texts from someone she was moderately obsessed with made her giddy with excitement and so nervous that her feet stopped working.

  Have you ever sneezed while putting on mascara?

  A picture popped up then of Trisha making a god-awful face, mouth hanging open in a playfully painful way, one eye squeezed shut with mascara smudged on her cheek and just below her eyebrow. Alexis laughed. More like choked and let out a hysterical squawk. She’d never in a million years thought Trisha would text her about anything other than schoolwork, but she knew she’d be an idiot if she didn’t text back.

  Will you be able to save the eye?

  It was real touch and go for a while there, but I think we’ll be okay.

  Getting dolled up for a night out? It was none of Alexis’s business, but she still wanted to know. She wanted to know more about Trisha, period.

  Nope. Hitting the books then hitting the hay. I was just playing around with some new stuff I picked up.

  Another picture popped up, one of Trisha fake crying, mouth hanging open in a dramatic grimace with mascara smudged around both eyes.

  Now I match.

  Alexis nearly choked again, trying to cover her own laughter just as her mom came back with their food.

  I hope it’s cool that I texted you. I know we kinda just met.

  Alexis’s stomach fluttered as she read the words, but she felt a little bit better. Much better, actually. She’d been dying to talk to Trisha again but knew she’d have to wait or risk coming off like a creepy stalker if she texted her a whole two hours after they left each other. She was glad Trisha had broken the text seal.

  No. It’s totally cool. I was thinking about texting you, but I didn’t want to bother you.

  “I’d tell you to put your phone down so we can eat, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you texting.”

  “It’s nothing,” Alexis said as she typed one more text back. She didn’t want to end their conversation, but she didn’t want her mom asking any questions either.

  Sorry, but I have to go. Dinner with my mom, but text me again some time, or later. If you’re up.

  K. Enjoy your dinner. Pray for my impaired vision.

  May the Heavenly Father bless and keep your eyeballs, she texted back before she met her mother’s waiting smile.

  Chapter Three

  As she walked toward Tamper room 204 that Friday, that same twinge hit Trisha’s stomach again. It had been there for the last two days on and off, whenever Alexis had popped into her head. They’d only seen each other one other time that week, during their Wednesday class, during which the professor had used all ninety minutes, talking about all sorts of things that had nothing to do with the reading that had taken Trisha forever to finish. After, even though she’d wanted a repeat of their Monday lunch together, Trisha had had to watch the kids before she'd headed to work. She’d been so busy, but she’d hit Alexis with a few texts when she could. Alexis had always responded.

  Between her shifts at The Luxor, her schoolwork, and carting around the little ones, she realized she wished she had more time to talk to Alexis. She may have been shy and kinda awkward in person, but via text Alexis was funny and quick. Trisha looked forward to the few minutes a day she could grab to shoot Alexis a message, and she hated the hours she had to wait sometimes to reply to whatever hilarious or cute thing Alexis had sent back.

  It was hard to admit it, but Trish was definitely developing a crush. She wanted to see Alexis again.

  She got her wish as she waited for the class before theirs to let out. Alexis was early this time, just a few steps behind Trisha as she took a spot against the wall outside room 204. She was back in baby-butch form today, rocking loose jeans and a white tee. Her hair was in a ponytail, but she had on a little bit of makeup and a stack of bracelets on her left wrist. Trisha got the feeling she was still sorting out her look or that she liked to change things up, but Trisha liked it. She smiled at Alexis as soon as she cleared the top of the stairs, just as the other class let out.

  “How brutal was the reading?” Alexis asked in that quiet, clear way Trisha was starting to like.

  “Gurl. I got a paragraph in, and my eyes started glazing over. But I finished it.”

  “So did I. I looked up Professor Kapur, too. You know he developed an app that sold for over a billion dollars, and he developed a software program that almost all California hospitals use?”

  “Uh, no shit. Professor Kapur is an actual genius,” this pimpled white kid from their class interrupted. “He’s only teaching here this year. He went here for undergrad and thought it would be fun to come back and teach. It’s bullshit to him, but we’re learning from the best.”

  Alexis’s mouth popped open, but Trisha just shook her head. It wasn’t worth it. The kid grumbled something under his breath and walked to the desk in the back of the room. Trisha followed him in but sat down at a table closer to the front. Alexis sat beside her.

  The hour went by quickly. Zit-face, so outraged by how little the womenfolk knew about Professor Kapur, asked him about the apps he’d developed. That ate up the whole class. Trisha had some stuff to get done before her shift at The Luxor, but she wanted more than fifty minutes sitting quietly beside Alexis.

  “Lunch?” she asked as they packed up their stuff.

  “Sure. Pizza again?”

  “Yeah.” Trisha laughed a little. “I like that place.” Maybe it could be their place, she thought then instantly turned away from Alexis so she couldn’t see the embarrassment on her face.

  They walked across campus talking about Professor Kapur’s work.

  “I feel like that’s one of those things you just get lucky with,” Alexis said as they entered the pizza shop and joined the long line.

  “I’d love to develop an app, but where’s the job security in that?” Trisha replied.

  “Well, it’s secure if you sell it to Facebook for a billion dollars.”

  “I guess I’ll just have to keep stripping until my billion dollar app idea sells.”

  “How does that work?” Alexis asked, a slight blush hitting her cheeks when Trisha looked up at her
.

  “How does what work? Stripping and developing an app?” she teased her, biting the inside of her lip when Alexis smiled back.

  “No, I mean. I guess…like how do you quit stripping? Do you want to?”

  Trisha leaned back and thought for a moment while Alexis ordered their pizza and some drinks that she insisted on paying for this time. Trisha wasn’t sure what to say. She’d never had this conversation with anyone but herself. They grabbed a small table by the window, and Trisha cracked the top on her soda.

  “Some of the girls I work with want to do it for as long as they can. Like my friend, Quanisha. I’m sure she’ll settle down one day and stop, I don’t know, when she has kids or something. Maybe not even then. Her mom stripped after she was born. I’m sure she’ll quit one day.” Trisha said the last bit with more confidence. “I just don’t know when. Some of the girls I work with hate it, and they are doing it because they have to.”

  “But you like it?”

  “Yeah. It’s fun, and the money is amazing. I think that’s the hardest part. I do want a career. Not that stripping isn’t a career, ’cause it is. I just want a regular nine-to-five. But I know even with a degree it’ll take me a while to match what I’m making at the club. That’s why I picked comp sci for a major. I was doing all this research on stable, lucrative careers, and there are a lot of jobs in the tech field that pay really well. But I have a feeling I’ll be dancing for a while.”

  “Yeah, I was just wondering. You never really hear much about stripper retirement,” Alexis said. “I mean, unless you’re planning on becoming a real housewife or a basketball wife.”

  “Ha, they’d have to let lesbians on those shows, for one. Also, I think you need to be married or at least in a relationship to be considered a ‘wife.’ I’m neither.”