At Her Feet Read online

  “They told me they sent out the press release last week,” Katie says. I’m pissed that I’ve just found out that the launch of 21 And Up’s mobile app has been pushed up.

  “Okay, but we’re not the media. They have to tell us these things before they send out press releases. Josh didn’t approve the budget for the overtime.” I’m thinking of telling our coder, Leah, that she’s about to have a long week. She’s a good sport, but I hate to do this to her.

  “I’ll talk to Valerie about this,” Katie says. “I know you have Clear Vision to deal with.”

  “We can handle it, but I just need to be in the loop. I can’t do my job if they don’t share this information with us.”

  Katie laughs. She’s just as annoyed as I am.

  I look over as an alert pops up on my screen: Emergency meeting for 21 And Up from Valerie. I open it and see she’s scheduled it for noon. The note attached reads I’m buying lunch.

  “Do you see this?” I ask Katie.

  “Yes.” She sighs, and I’m almost positive I hear her bang her head on her desk. “We’ll just wait and see what Val has to say, and then I’ll let her know about this fabulous lack of communication.”

  “That works for me.” We hang up and I go back to my e-mails. I open the latest from Grand Adventure. It’s June. Their site is perfectly updated with promotions and attraction highlights. Their account guy is asking about a new banner ad. I close my eyes and shuffle it through my mental calendar. I don’t get very far because my cell phone rings. I don’t know the number, but the area code is 310.

  “This is Suzanne Kim,” I say in my most professional voice.

  “You told me to call you Suzy.”

  “Oh my God. Hi,” pops out of my mouth first. I’m shocked, but pleased, and that overwhelms much of my brain. I laugh, embarrassed at myself, then give my greeting another try. “I meant, hi.”

  “You know who this is?” I can hear the smile in her raspy voice along with a slight accent.

  “Yes. It’s Pilar.”

  “Can you talk for a few minutes?”

  “Yeah. Give me one sec.” I get up then and book it for the side exit. I can’t keep my cool at my desk.

  Our building is an architectural spectacle on the south side of West Hollywood. I find a seat on the glass benches that overlook the gardens that line the back entrance, and then I take a deep breath.

  “Okay,” I say. “Hi.”

  “Hello. Did you sleep well?”

  “I did. And you?”

  “I was thinking about you for a while, but eventually, I slept very well.”

  Her words make me giddy, and I find myself tapping my heel on the side of the bench. Her voice is pure sex, I think to myself at this point. I’ll never get tired of hearing it.

  “What would you say to meeting me for dinner tomorrow night at The Grove?” Pilar asks.

  I say yes. “It’s on my way home.” I instantly regret that. “I mean I’d meet you there if it wasn’t on my way.”

  “That’s nice to hear.” Her laugh is just as sexy. “I want to e-mail you a little list. It’s not a contract or anything. I just want to give you a clearer idea of what I’m like, and what I expect, and then there’s a questionnaire for you.”

  I like her approach with me. She’s flattering and sweet, but she’s setting guidelines and expectations early. I need that.

  “That sounds good. Send it over.”

  “I’m already fighting the urge to call you ‘baby,’” she says.

  I almost dissolve into a Suzy puddle. “You can,” I say without hesitation. That’s wrong and I know it. We need to come to some sort of agreement first, but I already like what I know about her. And I want her to like me. I want her to call me baby.

  “Go over the list tonight, and if anything freaks you out, call me. If not, answer your questions, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow night.”

  “Okay.” We agree on seven p.m. at a restaurant called The Barn. They have delicious mac and cheese. “I’ll go over the list,” I reassure her.

  “Okay, baby,” she says. And I die right there. “You get back to work.”

  We say good-bye, and I almost twirl all the way back to my desk.

  *

  “Joshua quit.”

  Several “Whats!” and gasps come from around the conference room. Beside me, Liam curses and bites his fist. Josh is straight, but Liam was trying really hard to test that theory.

  “He quit when?” I ask.

  “This morning,” Valerie says.

  “Well, that explains why he’s been out,” Mitch says. “He wasn’t sick, he was interviewing.”

  “Did he tell you that?” Valerie is very cool and level-headed, but her face turns a little pink.

  “No, no,” Mitch says frantically. “But it makes sense. He’s been working here three years and he’s never used a sick day. Suddenly, he’s out sick something like six times in the last month.”

  “Does make sense,” Liam says. “That beautiful fool.”

  “What did he tell you?” I ask Valerie. Joshua runs the bulk of the 21 And Up account, not to mention an account for Dylon Motor sports. I look at Mitch and our other producer, Daisuke, and we know we’re fucked.

  “He just said he was taking time to evaluate a life change. Either way, he’s gone. Mitch, I want you to take on Grand Adventure and Clear Vision. Daisuke, Bee’s Candy will become your responsibility. Suzanne…”

  I hold in my groan and fight the urge to vomit. “I want you dedicated one hundred percent to 21 And Up.”

  I curse to myself but say okay.

  “I’m going to bring on two more producers as soon as we hear back on Dylon, but I just need you guys to hang in there with me.”

  We all agree. No one in the room is to blame. I can’t even blame Josh. He hated marketing, and I’m proud of him for getting out. The guys grab some food. Valerie asks me to her office. I plan to meet with the guys that afternoon to pass on the projects. Liam promises to save some lunch for me, and I follow my boss out of the room.

  I like Valerie. I’ve worked for women before that I just didn’t mesh with, but Valerie seems to understand all of us. She only pushes us so far before she pushes the client back, and she always shows gratitude when we finish a project. She’s a little inappropriate at times. Liam loves that about her, but she has a wealth of quality dirty jokes at the ready that help balance out the occasional awkwardness.

  “How are you?” she asks once I close the door.

  “I’ll be fine.” I tell her about the mobile app and the press release, though. I’m not complaining, but I need her to know what I’m dealing with.

  “I know,” she says. “Joshua had similar complaints. But I have faith in you, Suzanne. You’re my best producer. Let’s just get through this and then we can talk promotion,” she says with a smile.

  “Oh.” I can feel my eyebrows touching the ceiling. “I—thank you. That would be great.”

  Valerie comes back around her desk and puts her hand on my shoulder. We walk toward the door. “Get the boys rolling on Clear Vision and Bee’s, and I’ll help you cover 21 And Up for the next couple days. Joshua at least left me a thorough explanation of where his projects are.”

  “At least there’s that.”

  Part of me wants to kill Josh, but if things go well, I might be thanking him for a nice little raise.

  *

  Liam’s waiting for me at my desk. He hands me a soda and a chicken wrap. “What did Val want?”

  I wipe a small smudge of eyeliner from his left eye before I plop down in my seat. “Just a pep talk.”

  “I’m so sad Josh is gone. His ass. It was perfect.”

  “You’re so lucky he never went to HR about you,” I say.

  “He’s too butch for that. Besides, it was all in good fun.”

  “You gays with your double standards.”

  “Well, I have to tell you what I told Josh. I’ve come up with some amazing creative designs for that acco
unt. Don’t fuck it up.”

  I scowl at Liam, but he has a point. He designed the components of the new website that convinced 21 And Up to sign with our agency. If we lost the account it would land on my shoulders.

  “Don’t worry. I got this. I do want to know why Josh left.”

  “Facebook him,” Liam says with a shrug.

  “Good call.”

  “So tomorrow night—”

  “Oh, shit. Whatever it is, I can’t.”

  “But why?” Liam whines.

  “I have a date thing.” Liam knows about my kinks. He was there for me when I broke up with Laurel, but I’m not going to talk about it in the office.

  “Oh! Tell me!”

  I lower my voice and crook my finger for him to lean closer. “Sexy, sexy woman. A little older than us. I hope she makes me her bitch.”

  Liam leans even closer. “Are you going to let her finger bang your mouth?”

  “Oh my God! You’re gross.”

  “I know. Well, fine. I’ll ask Gary if he wants to go.”

  I laugh. “Why do you hate your boyfriend?”

  “I don’t. He just never wants to go out.”

  I love Gary. He’s very sweet. He’s also one of those gay guys that some people think doesn’t exist. For those who don’t understand that being gay isn’t a way of walking or a fashion statement, it’s that he acts so straight is the only way to explain it. People are always shocked when he introduces Liam as his boyfriend and not his outrageously gay little brother. Gary likes sports and beer. Liam likes drag shows and anything that ends in tini. They’re complete opposites, but seeing them together would make a lot of people jealous. They love each other that much.

  “Tell him if he goes out with you tomorrow, you’ll go to that fight in Vegas with him.”

  “What? No way.” Liam pauses. “Wait. That might work. I love hotel sex.”

  “I know you do. And you can squeeze in some Cirque du Soleil between the hotel sex. Where are you going tomorrow, anyway?”

  “My mom surprised me with tickets to The Best of Broadway at the Bowl.”

  “Oh, yeah. You’re taking him to Vegas.”

  *

  I work dumb late, but at least I’m not alone. Mitch and Daisuke are with me. Valerie takes off at her usual time, but she tells us to order dinner and bill it to the company. We bulk up on Thai food, which is a horrible idea. I’m ready to pass out right after we eat, still I couldn’t ask for better company. Mitch and Daisuke make me laugh as we plug away. We’re caught up by nine thirty, and finally, I head home.

  It’s ten o’clock by the time I get to my apartment and shower. Another thirty minutes before I’m settled in bed with my laptop. I go right for my e-mail. The notification has taunted me all afternoon. It’s still there, of course, when I sign in, pushed to second place by an e-mail from Jeep asking me if I’m ready to trade in my Wrangler for bonus incentives. I know the layout of the banners will hurt my eyes, so that’s going in the garbage. I torture myself a few moments more, and then I open Pilar’s e-mail.

  Hello Gorgeous,

  It was lovely to hear your voice today. Like I said, take your time with this. If there’s anything you don’t understand or want to discuss with me tomorrow, that’s completely okay. I just want to get to know you better, and I want you to know me. Call me if you need anything.

  —Pilar

  I think about her saying these words to me in person; I think about her calling me baby. I want to call her right now, before I read the rest of her terms, before I even look at the questionnaire, but that eagerness has bitten me in the ass before. This isn’t like a regular relationship. It’s up to me to do as she asks, which I want to, but I have to proceed with a certain sense of caution. I have to consider what’s in my best interest first, and not let my imagination run with the fantasy before Pilar and I come to an agreement. I am giddy still, and eager, but I’ll be patient.

  I open the document and look at her list of terms. I worked through a similar list with Laurel, but this is a little different. There’s less focus on sadistic and masochistic practices. Actually, there’s almost no mention of either, only that she will use spanking for both discipline and pleasure. For the list of sex acts, she clarifies from the start that she is open to both vaginal and anal intercourse. She’s only interested in being the recipient of the former. Any and all water sports are completely out, and if I have desires of diaper play then I need to look for another Mommy right now. We’re on the same page there, so I keep reading. She includes light bondage, but expresses that she has no interest in gagging me. I take that as a good sign. I like to be vocal.

  The rest of what she details are the facets of her role as a Mommy Dominant. She wants a sense of structure and routine when we’re together. I’m to mind my manners and my language. At the same time, she wants to spoil me, cook for me, bake for me, pamper me. I have no objections to any of these things. Her portion ends there. I assume we’ll talk more about her over dinner, over time.

  I wanted to print out the questionnaire at work, but knowing my luck, we’d have a system error or a paper jam, and the first thing the printer would finally spit out in the morning would be the details of my sex life in black and white, right into the hands of someone like Katie or Valerie. I read through the questions once and am pleasantly surprised. I grab a notebook and a pencil off my desk and start to answer the questions.

  She wants to know what sex acts, points of bondage, and submission I’d like to include. Nothing really differs from her responses, but I do note that I am a fan of giving and receiving oral sex, and I like to be tied up. I include my fondness for mutual masturbation. It’s been a while since I’ve done anal, but I mark it off as a can-do. Pilar strikes me as someone who would be incredibly gentle. I note that face slapping, in my book, is an invitation to a fistfight and one of my hard limits. She asks if I know the age of my inner child. This stumps me. I’ve thought about this a lot and only got as far as thinking that maybe this part of me doesn’t have an age, just a younger, more innocent frame of mind. I tried to work on this with Laurel, but we didn’t really get anywhere. She called me needy and annoying, and that was the beginning of the end.

  Next is the part I really like. She asks what my favorite movies are, if I like to play dress-up. She wants to know if I ever had a favorite teddy bear or any pets. She wants to know what my favorite color is. She asks if I like to play any games. She wants to know what’s my favorite way to relax and if I have any food allergies or anything I just refuse to eat.

  Finally, we’ll decide on a safe word together, in person.

  It’s almost one before I finish. I’m exhausted but anxious. I want to skip work tomorrow and get right to our dinner. I want to call her. Instead, I send her a text. Good night is all it says.

  She texts back almost right away. Sweet dreams, sweetheart.

  Day from hell, but I still go to sleep with a smile on my face.

  Chapter Two

  The next day of work is excruciating. Valerie does her best to get me up to speed on 21 And Up, but every five minutes we’re interrupted. A call from Daisuke about Bee’s. Mitch showing up at my desk with questions about Clear Vision. He comes back three more times, then four more times for Grand Adventure. I text Pilar a couple more times to tell her I’m stuck at work. Finally, at seven thirty, I leave and make my way over to The Grove.

  I brought a change of clothes with me, but I’m too, I don’t know. I’m too worn out to scramble into a bathroom to ditch my blouse, my tights, and my heels for something a little more comfortable. More me than my work clothes. At least the bow tie I have on looks cute. I check my makeup in my poorly lit car and fix the few strands of hair that have escaped from the high, messy bun piled on my head before heading down to the escalator to The Barn. Sometimes I wish my hair wasn’t down to my waist, but it’s too curly to pull off any shorter styles. I’m fiddling with it as I try not to run down the escalator. The Grove is packed. By the time I make
it through the mass of tourists taking pictures in front of the singing fountain, I’m flustered all over again. I tell the hostess I’m meeting my party, and she directs me right to a small corner booth in the back.

  I see her, Pilar, and I forget all about work. I forget about how I was thinking about tracking Josh down and punching him in the crotch for ditching me with 21 And Up. Pilar stands when she sees me. I’d held on to the image of the red polka-dot dress in my mind these last couple days, but the real thing is perfection. She comes around the side of the table and thanks the hostess, but she keeps her eyes on me. I know her face matches mine. Or maybe I’m smiling more.

  Everything about her is round and plump, from her cheeks to her large breasts to her hips. Her whole body is inviting. I’m not short, but she’s taller than me, fuller, but in the best possible ways. Her smile is her dominant feature. She has a wide mouth and full lips, but her brown eyes are very expressive. She’s only wearing the slightest bit of makeup, but I’m willing to venture she’d look just as beautiful without any on. She has on a blue pinstripe shirt-dress, cinched below her chest with a wide, brown belt. The belt matches a pair of knee-high slouch boots. Her long, thick, black hair is down, but her bangs are held back, though pushed slightly forward by a matching brown headband. She looks so good.

  “Hi,” Pilar says brightly. I say hello back, and as she hugs me, I feel protected and cared for. I’d even venture to say loved in that moment. We’re doing it backward, I can already tell. Like how she already calls me baby. The hope of trust and the affection is already there before we’ve made anything official, but I can’t change the way I feel.

  “Come sit down,” she says.

  I slide into the leather seat beside her. She’s wearing a rose perfume I haven’t smelled in years, but I remember instantly how much I love the scent. I move a little closer. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you made it.”