HARBOR: Beards & Bondage Read online

  I smooth my hands down the sides of Brooklyn’s neck. “You okay?” I ask her.

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” she breathes before she swallows hard.

  Shaw is back with us a few moments later, pulling Brooklyn off my lap. “Stand up,” he tells me. I get up slowly and stand beside him as he sits Brooklyn down on the bench. There’s a small puddle on the floor now, bigger than the spots of precum I’ve left around the place. This is all from Brooklyn. What’s not on the floor is on my lap and my thighs, soaking my skin.

  Shaw lightly takes her chin and turns her head toward my crotch. With his other hand, he pulls the condom off my still hard, still aching dick. “Look what you did to poor Vaughn. Dick’s all hard. Crotch all wet. Do you think we should leave him this way?”

  “No, sir,” Brooklyn whimpers. If I had no clue where this was headed, I’d give up my red just so we could give her break. But Shaw is almost done with his first lesson of the weekend. He strokes me some more, trusting me to hold back as long as he needs me to. My nuts are fucking killing me. I might red for myself and go beat off in the corner while I have my own cathartic cry.

  “She can’t really move, Vaughn. Why don’t you help this sweet kitten suck your dick. Make sure you nut in her mouth. Brook, I don’t want you to swallow.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I step forward, taking the base of my cock as I slide into Brooklyn’s waiting mouth. She bobs her head a time and a half before my balls seize up my still burning ass tightens. I come all over her tongue. She seems to find her last energy reserve. I would have tapped out, but she’s not done. She bobs forward as she sucks out every last drop. I step back because I feel like my soul is considering leaving my body too. My vision is hazy when I open my eyes and watch the way Shaw sticks two fingers in her mouth and lightly pulls her bottom lip down. The sight of my come drooling out of her mouth, my nut dribbling between her tits is almost enough to make me black out for real. Her big round eyes peering up at Shaw. She’s so close to begging.

  “Untie her,” Shaw says before he heads for our fridge filled with water. I make quick but gentle work of the rope. I ease her arms back down to her sides and start to rub her down. Her back, her shoulders, her finger tips. I make note of how beautiful the impressions of the rope look on her skin. Shaw waits until I give my okay before he holds the water up to Brooklyn’s mouth for her to drink. Then he pulls her to her feet and takes a seat on the bench, pulling her into his lap. He holds her close, bracing a hand on her thigh. I crouch on the floor in front of them, my fingers lightly stroking her calf, watching her as she looks between Shaw and me. There’s still a trail of drool and jizz down the middle of her chest. We’re all gonna sleep well tonight.

  She takes another sip of water.

  “We’re done, little bird. How are you feeling?”

  “I need one—I need one more thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I want you to kiss me.”

  Shaw doesn’t hesitate. He leans down and claims her mouth, kissing her roughly in a way that seems to awaken her all over again. It’s not long before she’s writhing on Shaw’s lap. My dick is somehow twitching at the sight of it. She may have needed a little break, but I have a feeling Brooklyn Lewis will be up for round two in no time.

  Twelve

  Brooklyn

  My bladder wakes me up around two a.m.. My arms and shoulders are a little bit sore, but the rest of my body is still liquid when I open my eyes. Shaw and Vaughn had walked me through their post-game routine, cleaning me up and talking sweetly to me. Rubbing my whole body, making sure I had plenty of water to drink. When Shaw asked me if I wanted to sleep up in my room alone or down in the massive custom bed he and Vaughn often share in the addition, the answer seemed like a no brainer. He grabbed my things for me and after I put on my night shirt and wrapped my hair, I climbed into the giant bed between them. I wanted to stay awake and keep chatting with them, but I passed out sometime after Shaw brought up how he hoped Kayne was done releasing his ugly-ass clothing lines.

  Now, there’s no Shaw. Only Vaughn, sound asleep beside me with his boxers riding low on his hips. He’s snoring. Loud, but it’s so cute and I can’t really blame him. We had a night. A long, intense night where he took the brunt of whatever Shaw had in mind to dish out and then helped Shaw take care of me. If anyone deserves some loud, restful sleep, it’s Vaughn. I use the bathroom by the kitchen and on the way out I see light spilling across the kitchen floor. I investigate and find Shaw sitting in his office, the faithful Roger passed out by the fireplace.

  Shaw looks up from his tablet and sets down his stylus pencil.

  “Trouble sleeping?” he asks me.

  “Something like that. What are you working on?”

  “Nothing exciting. Just a desk for a new client.”

  I step closer and look at the beginnings of a digital sketch. It does, in fact, look like a desk. “That’s cool.”

  “Thanks.”

  Shaw leans back, one eyebrow reaching for the edge of his fade. I stare at him, trying to hide the smile that wants to take over my lips. He leans back even further, inclining his head toward me. I get it. I’m not fooling anyone. I didn’t wander into his office to ask him how the drafting program on his iPad works. I want to be near him again. I’m wondering what’s keeping him up and why he’s not busy making a Brookie sandwich with Vaughn. Mostly I’m wondering if I should ask him to finger me while I sit on his desk. I decide to keep that all to myself though. We’ve done enough for one evening.

  “Well. Nice chatting with you.” I turn to leave. I’m sure Vaughn will welcome me back to bed, even though he’s busy snoring his tender, bruised ass off.

  “Brook.”

  “Yep,” I say before I turn back. When I do, I realize my mistake. I should have kept my damn mouth shut. I should have crept back to bed and left Shaw to his work. I should have counted sheep until I dozed off again. There’s still time for that. I can still escape with my dignity intact.

  Shaw swivels the base of his chair and my eyes go right to his lap as his thighs fall open. He’s wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and a different henley than he was when he put Vaughn and I to bed. It’s just sleep wear, but it looks so good on him and that thirsty thought is the least of my problems. I take in the way he’s eyeing me, opening another door with just a look. Waiting for me to do something, to say something, and I know all of it is bad news. I can’t do this with Shaw. Shaw is trouble.

  I don’t flee like I know I should.

  “How do you do this all the time?” I ask him.

  “Do what?”

  “This.”

  “What? Working in my office in the middle of the night?”

  “No, you ass.”

  “Listen, you wanted honesty. So, use your words and stop playing games, you ass.”

  My eyes roll all on their own. “Fine. How do you exist at this heightened level of horniness all the time? How do you walk down the street without people of all genders throwing themselves at you? Is that why you live so far out here alone?”

  “Well, for starters, there’s a woman wearing no pants in my office right now, so that might have something to do with my level of horniness. And for the second part, I don’t think people come on to me anymore than they come on to anyone they find attractive. That doesn’t make me special.”

  “Uh huh. Sure,” I laugh, but it dies on my lips almost immediately. Shaw isn’t laughing. He’s frowning at me. “What?”

  “What part of this is the part you think you don’t deserve?”

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t say that.” I know I sound defensive, but that stung. An uncomfortable heat spreads over the back of my neck.

  “No, but you’re suggesting that I have something you can’t have or can’t imagine having, even though my dick was literally in your ass a few hours ago.” I stare at him in shock, my brain trying to sort through what he’s saying. My silence isn’t enough to stop him becaus
e he just keeps right on going. “If it’s me you think you can’t have, you’re wrong ’cause you’ve already had me. If it’s a relationship like Vaughn and I have, well...”

  “Well what?” I don’t mean to snap, but I snap. I’m fucking annoyed.

  “Josh is gone, Brook. Corrine is gone. He hurt you. She hurt me, but the brutal truth is they can’t hurt us again.”

  That heat on my neck flashes up my face and down my throat. I was wrong about Shaw and it’s better for me to walk away right now. “Copy that. I’m gonna go back to bed. Goodnight.” I make for the door, but he’s still got more shit to say.

  “Brook.”

  I spin around, my hands going to my hips. “What?” I say with a mirthless scoff. What the fuck could he possibly want from me?

  “Come here.”

  “No.”

  “Fine. I’ll say this while you stand over there. You wanted honesty. I want to stop punishing myself, I want you to do the same and I definitely don’t want you to punish Vaughn.”

  “I didn’t—”

  “He’s falling for you. Already. You were a fucking dream in there. I don’t want you to tell him this feels too good to be true or ask for more proof of how good this can be, ’cause he’ll show you. And he won’t stop trying to show you until I stop him.”

  “You think you need to protect Vaughn from me and my insecurities?”

  “No, I think you’re going through a lot and it’s bringing up a lot of emotions. I’m just telling you where I’m coming from. Josh did you dirty. But Corrine did us dirty too and I know Vaughn blames himself. He’d do anything to make it up to a ghost. How far do you think he’d push himself to make it up to a woman standing right in front of him?”

  “Fine. That’s fair. I’m saying I hear you and now I’m going back to bed.”

  I don’t give Shaw a chance to stop me again. I find my way through the mostly dark house back to the narrow staircase and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in my assigned guest room. I know I’m being dramatic, taking my beef with Shaw out on Vaughn by leaving him all alone. It’s better to rip the band-aid off now, though. I’ll be gone in the morning and I won’t be coming back.

  Shaw

  “You got everything?” Vaughn asks. We’re standing in the driveway, saying goodbye. After my fucked-up conversation with Brook, I couldn’t focus on work anymore. I couldn’t say I was surprised to find Vaughn alone in bed when I finally came to join them. I’d considered going up to her room to apologize, but I knew I’d pissed her smooth the fuck off. She didn’t want to speak to me and pushing the issue would just make her more upset.

  So I gave her space and first thing in the morning, while Vaughn was busy making a ten-course breakfast, Brook arrived in the kitchen, fully dressed, fully packed and ready to get the fuck out of town. She begged off, claiming she wanted to beat traffic and get some rest so she was fresh to handle her week’s caseload, but I knew she just wanted to get the hell away from me.

  Vaughn was hurt and confused for about three seconds before he realized the way she wasn’t looking at me. He knew I did something, said something shitty. He knew I’m the reason she wasn’t in bed with us when he woke up. I’ll admit it. I fucked up. Maybe she wasn’t the only one in the business of self sabotage.

  Vaughn puts her weekend bag in the back seat while she sets her purse and phone on the center console. I file the adorable image of her short, full body trying to climb into this massive SUV away for another time when my foot isn’t halfway down my throat.

  Brook smiles up at him and slips her fingers into his. “ I got everything. Thanks.”

  “Are we going to see you again?” I hear the desperation in his voice. He’s kept his word and not blurted out how badly he wants her to stay, but this is Vaughn. He can’t hide the way he feels. It’s not a part of his programming and she had asked for honesty. He can keep things to himself, but Vaughn’s truth is that he’s falling for Brooklyn Lewis. She’s gorgeous, funny, bright, with a body I don’t want to keep my hands off of. It’s hard for both of us to see her walk away. Still, I hang back and keep my mouth shut. I’ve done enough.

  “I had an amazing time, but I need to think about it, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “I just want to be all good. In every way, you know? Leave as much baggage as I can at the door and I think I still have a few trolleys full.”

  “You can still call us. You know that, right?”

  “I know.” She stands on her tiptoes. I watch as Vaughn bends over and accepts a soft kiss on the lips. I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. Last night, she was begging me to kiss her and now I know she’s never going to let me kiss her again.

  “I will call you when I get home, okay?” she says, keeping her voice light, doing her level best to look everywhere but at me.

  “Okay. Drive safe.”

  “I will.” She leans over, fixing me with a deranged smile. “Bye, Shaw! Thanks for having me. This place is great.” Thanks for ruining a perfectly good weekend.

  “Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”

  Her response is another tight grin before her expression softens and her gaze goes back to Vaughn. “Bye.”

  She climbs up into her car and we wait as she slowly backs down the driveway. We both wave as she pulls out on the street and we wait a few breaths before she turns on the road and drives away. I brace myself and wait for Vaughn to cuss me the fuck out, but he doesn’t. He just turns and walks toward the house.

  “Hey, wait.”

  “For what?” He spins around and I swallow at the blank expression on his face. Vaughn doesn’t do loud and angry. Vaughn ices you out and I’m getting frostbite standing in my own damn driveway.

  “I know you’re pissed at me. I know. Let’s just talk about it.”

  “Oh, like you talked to Brooklyn last night? What the fuck did you say to her?”

  “She wanted me to tell her this was all some fantasy that was too good to be true and I wouldn’t do it. She got mad.”

  “Is that all you said?”

  There’s no point in giving him half truths. If he talks to Brooklyn later all he has to do is drop the magic word, honesty, and she’ll tell him everything I said. And I know how he’ll take it, even though I was just looking out for him.

  “I told her the truth. That you would give her your all and it wasn’t fair for her to make you prove it.”

  “Can I ask you something?” Vaughn says.

  “Sure.”

  “Negro. Are you high?”

  “Okay, man. What—” I try to walk by him ’cause I already had one fight with a lover in the last twelve hours. I’m not in the mood for a repeat performance.

  “No.” Vaughn grabs my arm, hard, reminding me that he’s taller and stronger and his submission is willfully given. It’s not my right or something I can intimidate out of him. It shouldn’t be a turn on, but it is and it gets my attention. I stop and turn to face him, settling in for the chewing out I deserve.

  “For real, what the fuck is wrong with you? Of course I need to prove that I’m worthy of her. On what planet do you think it’s cool for us to ask any woman, any person, to take the two of us on and for us not to show them that they can trust us? Yeah, Corrine cheated, but you have to see how much Josh hurt her. She was days away from walking down the aisle. He embarrassed her in ways neither of us can understand because we’re men.”

  I sigh, keeping my mouth shut. He’s right. I know he’s right.

  “What you and Corrine and I had wasn’t a secret, but we weren’t out there, Shaw. She was ready to become a part of his family. Everyone in her life knew about it. On top of that, she’s a plus-size Black woman. How many times a day do you think she’s getting some messaging that she’s undesirable? Fifty? A hundred? She can be confident, but she’s a fucking human. So, I think it makes sense that if we want her to be with us in any long term way we prove to her that we aren’t using her and that her needs and her very real fears are b
eing met.”

  “Okay, okay, you’re right.”

  “I know I am. I’m going to take Roger to the beach and enjoy this weather before I have to go back to work. Maybe when I’m gone, you can think of a good way to apologize to her. Whatever she decides, you owe her that much.”

  “I will. I promise.” I grab his hand as he turns to walk inside. “Are we good?”

  “I guess. You still fucked up, though. You’re not off the hook.”

  “I know. I love you and I am sorry for fucking up your morning with her. She likes you a lot and I know you both wanted more time together.” I laugh and Vaughn turns at the sound, catching Roger’s face pressed up against the screen door. “He doesn’t want us to fight.”

  “No. He doesn’t want you to be a dick.”

  “Fair. I deserved that.”

  Vaughn pulls me close with an arm around my waist and kisses me soft, but deep. He’s still angry, but he loves me. We’ll have an argument again, probably soon and it’ll be my fault. I’ve been on a roll lately. One day he’s going to be sick of my shit and he’s going to leave me too. I need to be better for him, if I can just get the fuck out of my own way.

  That night, when Vaughn is long back in the city and Roger is dead asleep under my desk, I grab my phone and find Brooklyn’s Instagram. I’ve been there already. Thoroughly checked out all of her social media in the months since she followed my business account back.

  She’s added a new picture. One she’s snapped from the side of the road on her way through Buzzards Bay.

  Beautiful weekend on the Cape. Great food. Great company. One cute doggy.

  She doesn’t tag Vaughn or me, which is clearly the smart move. No shame here, but no one wants to explain how we know each other and why we’re hanging out. I keep scrolling, looking at pictures she’s posted while out for drinks with her coworkers. Pictures of her watching The Bachelor with a small group of women. Pictures of flowers her friend Noa sent her for Valentine’s Day.