Xeni Read online

  “What do you want to be when you finally grow up?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, come Monday, when all the paperwork is filed, you won’t have to do it for the money anymore.”

  “God,” Xeni said, making a noise like a strangled gasp. Mason looked over to see a sort of wide-eyed terror spreading over her face. “I didn’t even think of that.”

  “Of what?”

  “The actual money being mine. I was so stressed out about my mom and my aunt and my aunt mom and all this other shit. I didn’t think about the actual money and what it would mean for me. What is wrong with me?”

  “You’re under a lot of stress and you just lost someone very close to you. It’s not like you won the lottery or got luck at the slots.”

  “Do you play piano?” she asked, abruptly changing the subject.

  “I do.”

  “Will you play something for me after dinner?”

  “What movie are we roleplaying? Pretty Woman or Twilight?”

  “Actually, another one of my favorites. The Oscar award-winning hit You’re Sleeping Alone Tonight, Chump.”

  “Available now on Blu-ray and Redbox.”

  “Yup.”

  12

  “Here’s a question for you.”

  Xeni heard what Mason had said but she was distracted by the amazing aroma coming from the pasta he’d just set down in front of her. She leaned in close, inhaling the creamy, lemony scent of the Alfredo sauce.

  “Mmm, I already know I’m gonna destroy this. It smells so good.”

  “That would be quite the compliment.” He set down his own plate and a glass of white wine, then took a seat beside her at the island. Or tried to, anyway. His legs didn’t quite fit under the marble ledge.

  “High enough, but not deep enough. Story of my life.”

  Xeni laughed. “Come on. Let’s move to the table.”

  They gathered up their meal and moved to the large dining table across the room. Xeni made herself comfortable as Mason took the seat beside her again. She looked around at the four other open chairs.

  “You can sit across from me, you know. More elbow room.”

  “Then I won’t be able to grope you under the table while you eat,” Mason replied, all casual like as he grabbed the pepper.

  Xeni froze, her whole body lighting up like a matchstick. Her nipples tightened as if they were begging to be touched first. Somehow, though, she managed to play it cool. “If you could at least let me eat half before we move to the groping portion of the evening. I’m starving.”

  Mason lifted his wine glass. “I’ll try my best. To us figuring out what the hell to do next.”

  “Cheers to that.”

  “Please enjoy.”

  Xeni picked up her fork and piled it high with a healthy serving of pasta and a fat shrimp. Everything was perfectly cooked and the sauce melted on her tongue. “Oh my god,” she groaned. “So good.”

  She glanced over at Mason as he took his own forkful. They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes, then Mason turned in his chair to face her.

  “Back to the question I was going to ask you.”

  Xeni nodded for him to go on. She was too busy stuffing her face to give a verbal response.

  “You know my whole story, but how are you single?”

  Xeni swallowed as she shook her head. “No, no, no. I know why you’re not with Duncan and I know why you’re not with Moira. But you said you’ve been here for seven years. That’s plenty of time to get over a broken heart, start over and fall in love with a sexy farm hand. Why are you single?”

  “I asked you first.”

  “That’s petty and immature, but fine. If you must know. I Practical Magic’d myself.”

  “You what?”

  “You ever seen Practical Magic?”

  “Can’t say that I have?”

  “Well, you done fucked up because I’m going to make you watch it. Anyway, I won’t spoil the plot for you, but one of the women does a spell, kind of outlining what she wants in the perfect man. She thinks it’ll stop her from falling in love, but of course she meets the perfect man. Except in my case it’s working too well.”

  “So, you mean to tell me that you did a spell to stop yourself from falling in love.”

  “Nooooot exactly.” Xeni didn’t know when, but somehow she’d turned herself into a cliche. She’d been so upset by the way things had ended with Patrick, that she’d allowed so many bad things to happen in their relationship. Yes, in retrospect, she knew it wasn’t her fault. Patrick was just a trash-ass human and it was better that they’d went their separate ways. That didn’t change the fact that it took her years to get back to herself and a few years more to realize she was worthy of what she needed. But Mason didn’t need to know all that.

  “At the time, I was being thorough in what I wanted. I’d just gotten out of a bad relationship and I was very focused on avoiding some of the mistakes I made in my youth. I made a very specific list, communed with the ocean and lit a few candles. I wasn’t going to settle. I got so busy not settling that fifty years went by and here I am married to you.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think your spell actually worked. I’m everything a woman could ever want.”

  “I see myself ending up like half of my aunts, living in a big house alone with several birds I’ve taught to shit-talk the mailman. Once a week, a handyman named Daryl—Daryl’s a widower—comes over to blow my back out. We see each other at church or at the store and act friendly, but secretly we both know what’s really going on.”

  “And when are you supposed to meet Daryl? Or is he someone you already know?” Mason asked.

  “Don’t know him yet, but I’ve imagined that I meet him around 2055 if climate change doesn’t kill us all first.”

  “You’ve really thought this through.”

  Xeni lifted her shoulder in a little shrug. “I just know what I want. But you!”

  “What about me?”

  “No one said you needed to full on settle down, but have you dated at all since you got here?”

  “I’ve been busy. Also, there’s this movie called Practical Magic—”

  Xeni reached over and squeezed his knee. “Not funny.”

  “Wrong. Hilarious.”

  “You still haven’t answered my question.” Xeni took the last bite of her pasta and strongly considered going back for seconds, but there was a difference between carbo loading for sex with a Scotsman and giving yourself the pasta sweats. There would be room for seconds later. She sat back and waited for Mason to cough up an explanation. “I refuse to believe none of the eligible folks in this small town have tried to climb all this.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to be climbed. Maybe I want to be romanced. Maybe I want to be courted properly. Maybe I want to feel like a prince. Maybe I don’t want to be a Daryl. Ever thought of that?”

  “So, now might be the wrong time to tell you to hurry and finish eating so we can clean up and stretch? ’Cause, honey…” Xeni’s eyes widened as she looked him up and down and she made a big show of dragging her tongue along her upper lip. “I’m kidding. Do you want more, though?”

  “No, I think I’m good.”

  “You cooked, so I’ll clean. More wine?”

  “Please.”

  Xeni went and grabbed the bottle off the counter and, after she topped off his glass, found some containers for the leftover pasta. Whoever he eventually found his happily ever after with was gonna be a lucky person. Boy knew how to cook.

  She started running the water to rinse the dishes when she felt him step behind her. She slipped the pot into the sink, doing her best to ignore the way he was just barely touching her, but still towered over her all at once.

  “Would you like my help?”

  “No. I—I think I can handle things here. Um… grab that box of rubbers and meet me in the living room in four minutes.” Without a word, Mason took the box of condoms off the counter and disappeared into t
he other room. Xeni threw all the dishes in the sink and quickly splashed them with dish soap and a light sprinkling of water before she ran down the hall to the guest room. She quickly stripped out of her clothes and grabbed a washcloth. She’d showered that morning, but a thirty-second birdie bath, as her mom liked to call them, wouldn’t hurt anyone. She washed up and quickly re-lotioned her whole body before she threw on her long navy striped cardigan again. It was far from a sexy piece of lingerie, but it would do just fine.

  When she walked back into the living room, she found Mason sitting at the piano bench. He’d spread out a nice array of comfortable looking blankets on the carpet in front of the coffee table.

  “I thought you’d be naked,” Xeni said.

  “You know I’m shy.”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  “Come here.” Mason held out his hand. Usually Xeni didn’t like to be told what to do, but she found herself walking right to him. He lightly took her fingers when she was within arm’s reach and pulled her closer so she was standing between his legs. Slowly he parted the halves of her draping sweater, exposing her body to his heated gaze. Xeni held her breath as his large hands cupped her waist.

  His thumbs moved upward in light circles, tracing the skin just under her breasts, then up higher until the rough pads of his fingers slid over her sensitive nipples. Her pussy clenched on itself, just aching to be filled. She wasn’t in a rush, but damn did she want him to get on with it. She felt like she was going to explode.

  “Tell me what you like,” he said before he leaned in close. He found her constellation tattoo, the delicate lines she had etched up her sternum. Closer. Xeni’s eyes slid shut as his lips pressed against her skin. She reached up and dug her fingers into his thick, loose curls.

  “What, like, porn-wise?”

  “No,” Mason laughed, looking up at her. “How do you like to be fucked? What turns you on?”

  “You seemed to have figured that out already. I told you I have no notes.”

  “All that tells me is that I got lucky, but there’s a whole lot more to life than me going down on you. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you’re gonna have Daryl do to you in the year 2057.”

  “No, that doesn’t count. Daryl and I are doing it from the back over the kitchen counter every time. Daryl is about function and convenience. I don’t think you want that for our marriage.”

  Mason pressed another kiss right between her tits. “So, tell me. What you do want?”

  Now. Her stupid fucking body would choose now to conjure up some water works. Xeni swallowed and blinked the tears back. It didn’t work. Xeni quickly turned away and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes.

  “Hey, hey hey,” Mason said quickly as he gathered her into his arms. “Come here, love. What’s wrong?”

  That didn’t help at all, his tender affection. A trembling sob ripped through her body and it took everything Xeni had to swallow it down. The sudden pain in her chest came out as a harsh sigh instead of the scream that was threatening to crack her in half.

  “I am not crying about my bad sex life right now.”

  “It would be fine if you were.”

  Okay, maybe she was crying about her sex life a little. She had plenty of annoying problems, just like anyone else, but for some awful reason her brain decided this was what it wanted to dredge up. Not the feelings about her parents. Not the crushing fact that she would never even get a chance to speak to her birth father. Not the haunting realization that she was unhappy with her job and had no clue if she was brave enough to walk away from it or if that was even a sensible option.

  There was plenty for her to be upset about. But no, she was in Mason’s arms, soaking the comforting embrace of a man she barely knew because she hadn’t had sex in ages while she was too busy guarding her heart. And no, it didn’t make a lick of sense that she was so willing to sleep with Mason. She just wanted him and that annoying logical voice in the back of her head could just shut up about it.

  Xeni blew out a breath and tried to speak. “I’m amazing, you know. I have great friends. A great family. They’re nuts, but I know they love me. I’m cute as hell. I am so good at my job. I shouldn’t quake in the face of honesty and intimacy. It shouldn’t be so hard for me to find someone to love me.”

  Xeni knew she was being ridiculous. She wasn’t surprised when Mason’s broad chest shook with laughter.

  “Yeah, ha ha. Laugh at the gorgeous woman with amazing breasts who can’t find love.”

  “That’s not why I’m laughing.”

  “Why then? Huh?”

  “Let’s just say that’s another thing we have in common.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Xeni, look at me.” Xeni looked up at the mountain of a man looking back at her. “Do you see this face? Do you see these rugged good looks? You ran your fingers through this hair. I deep condition once a week. You see the results. You said it yourself. It makes no sense. Why would a god such as myself be all alone in the world?”

  “Okay. You’ve made your point. No one can have it all.”

  “Come sit.” Mason sat back down on the piano bench and pulled Xeni onto his lap. She tucked her sweater tightly around her chest and gave in to the urge to rest her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and then they were quiet. Xeni knew she could fill the silence. She had the jokes, the slick banter, but in that moment she didn’t want to be on and she was glad that Mason didn’t seem like he was about to push her.

  “Who knows you best? Like, who knows who you really are?” she asked him.

  “That’s a good question. Now? I would say Silas and mostly because he doesn’t care. It’s easy to be yourself around someone who isn’t going to judge you. And Liz. And Ms. Sable.”

  Xeni squeezed her eyes closed again. Her family knew her, the real her, but she knew she’d hid parts of herself from other people. She always tried to be her most honest and authentic self, but fear sometimes kept her from really being open. And that was it. That said it all. The reason her aunt had come up with this crazy scheme and she had to pay someone in a bind to marry Xeni. She had to bribe Xeni with literal millions in property and other assets just to force her to consider what a partnership with someone like Mason could be like. But this wasn’t real and in twenty-seven days and some odd hours it would be over.

  “I don’t know what I want,” Xeni finally admitted to Mason and herself. “I’ve never trusted anyone enough to find out.”

  “Hmm, another thing we have in common.” That didn’t ease the ache in Xeni’s chest at all. She was starting to like Mason. She could see herself really caring about him. He deserved love. He deserved all the things he wanted and needed, but hadn’t been given the room to discover yet.

  Xeni eased off his lap and paced over to the fireplace and back. “I need water. You want some water?”

  “I’m fine, thank you. Xeni, we don’t have to—”

  “Oh, but I want to. Unless you don’t want to. I don’t know what a naked woman crying in your lap does to your mood. Is that your thing?”

  “No,” Mason said as he smiled a bit and shook his head.

  “Well, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  He nodded toward the kitchen. “Why don’t you get your water and then we’ll see how we’re both feeling.”

  “Okay.” Xeni went into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass of water and looked down at the piece of baker’s twine still tied around her finger. It was a little damp from her birdie bath. She’d noticed earlier that Mason had taken his off. He’d been preparing food all day, so that didn’t surprise her. Still, it was a stark reminder, proof of just how ridiculous this whole situation was. None of it was real and if it wasn’t real, then Xeni didn’t have to be afraid of getting hurt. There was no risk and, really, no limits. Well, there were some limits. Xeni had her hard nos. But just like their quickie wedding, she and Mason could make this night whatever they wanted it to be.

&n
bsp; She found him still there on the piano bench, waiting for her to pull it together. Xeni couldn’t read the expression on his face, but she could feel the energy in the room. He wasn’t bothered at all.

  She nodded toward his hand. “See you ditched the string.”

  “Still have it, though. Don’t worry, love. Just took it off during my shift. It’s sitting nice and safe on my desk back in the apartment.”

  She didn’t expect that to reinflate her cold dead heart, but it did. “Oh.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Thank you for asking.” She let out a deep breath and made the decision to put her feelings away. “So, I think I know what I want tonight, but I need you to be cool about it.”

  “Cool’s my middle name.”

  “Also, you have to keep everything that happened here tonight to yourself. The streets can’t know I’m this soft.”

  “I promise your reputation is intact.”

  “I want you to make love to me. Like, painfully slow. Early nineties R&B video, silk shirts in the rain slow. With lots of kissing. Are you okay with that?” Xeni didn’t know if Boyz II Men or Silk videos had made it over to Scotland, but it was worth a try.

  Mason crossed the room and met her in the doorway. He had to duck his head to keep from bumping against the millwork. He crowded her against the jamb, then pressed his lips to hers. Just as his tongue swept pass her lips in a lazy, sweet motion, his hands came around her waist and he lifted her. Xeni couldn’t get her legs all the way around him, but it didn’t matter. He had her firmly in his grip as he carried her over to the pile of blankets. He set her down and Xeni did her best to be patient as he shucked off his clothes and rolled the condom on his impressive erection.

  He climbed over her and picked up right where he left off, kissing her deeply on the mouth. Xeni could tell he was trying to be careful with her, bracing his hands on either side of her. He was being considerate, but Xeni wanted to feel him. All of him. She wanted to feel his weight and his warmth, so she slid her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. She opened her legs and reached between them, giving his cock a few strokes until he pressed himself inside her. Xeni broke the kiss, arching in the blankets as he stretched her pussy inch by inch. She was so wet, had been all night even through her tears, and finally, he was where she really needed him.