Again: A Young Adult Romance Read online

  “It’s nothing like that, S.”

  Stef sighs. “Anyway, I gotta go,” she says, rising to her feet with her bag. “Eleanor, you can come with us if you want to. There’s no problem.”

  “I’ll pass. I don’t wanna be a third wheel. Thanks though.”

  “I can fill in for pig boy Thomas and go out with you guys,” Devon offers, smiling slyly.

  Before Stef could say anything, more like agreeing with him, I drawl, “Trust me, nobody wants an annoying wheel on a date.”

  Stef laughs again. “I think I’ve a better plan here.” She giggled. “Why don’t I just cancel on the movies and get Adam here instead so that we could watch the verbal tennis game between you guys. It’d be just as entertaining.”

  Devon snorts. I shoot a cold look at Stef. “Fine, I’m going. Bye.” She laughs her way out of the café.

  “You know, we could have a date right now. Can I get you a refill?” Devon says huskily.

  “No, thanks. I gotta go.” I grab my bag and leave the café. I check my phone again. Still there’s no message from Luke. I can’t help but recall what Devon had told me the other night, about him and me pretending to be a thing…

  No.

  Why am I even thinking about reconsidering that crap of an offer? It’s utterly, totally and definitely ridiculous. There’s no way I’m ever gonna agree to that. Period.

  ***

  Let’s just say if being a straight-A student isn’t enough, Devon is easily the best player in the Westford High football team. I see it for myself when Stef and I drive early to school the next morning to witness the football practice from the bleachers. Coach Harrison looks like he just hit a million subscribers on his non-existent YouTube channel because Devon is that good.

  On the other hand, Luke is having a tough time on the field because of him. He sulks very often and finally towards the end, in a tussle to grab the ball from Devon, Luke has a nasty fall. That gets me worried.

  Later that day, when I come across Luke in the hallways, he chooses to look right through me.

  “Hey, are you okay?” I ask with concern, stopping him by the arm.

  “Leave me alone.” He jerks his arm off my hold.

  No. I’m not gonna walk away just like that. His face is creased with lines of anger and frustration.

  “Luke, listen to me. Don’t let Devon bother you. It’s not worth it. Focus on the game instead.”

  “It’s easy for you to say that ‘cause Parker’s presence hasn’t changed anything for you but everything has changed for me in school! Try being in my place,” Luke shoots back heatedly.

  “B-But I’ve always been there for you…” I fumble, taken aback by his rudeness.

  “Oh, really?!” he snaps back. “Just so you know, your presence is not helping me in any way. Go away. I don’t need you here. I can’t do this anymore.” He moves past me and walks away.

  I stand, watching his back, as he leaves me in total desolation. Did he just break up with me? But what did I do? All I wanted was for him to feel that I’m here for him no matter what. To say that I am shocked at what just happened is an understatement. I look down at my hands and see it shaking from outrage and hurt. After everything I did for him, he does this to me? After turning a blind eye to save our relationship he has the nerve to say those things to me? Like I don’t care about him?

  When I can no longer see his retreating back, I head to my locker feeling like I’m carrying the world’s weight on my shoulders.

  As I go through the scene with Luke again, I somehow slowly understand his reaction. I tell myself he didn’t mean to shut me out like that. He was angry. And I’m sure when he calms downs, he’ll talk to me about it.

  As soon as I calm down, I keep my head down and walk my way to class. I make it halfway up the stairwell when I happen to glance above and see Devon, of all people, appear at the head of the stairs. His eyes meet mine a second later. I avert my gaze and move up the stairs past him like he’s not there. But he doesn’t let me ignore him.

  “You’re not okay. What happened?” he demands to know

  “Not now, Devon, please,” I state firmly, and continue to climb the stairwell.

  “You’re running away, Eleanor.” His razor sharp voice rings behind me, making me stop at once. “Not from me but from yourself,” he adds. “I hope you know that it’s not my fault that your whiny pig brat of a boyfriend is not as great as he thinks he is.”

  I turn around to face him. “I never said it’s your fault, Devon.”

  “Then you might also know that you’re more of a doormat and a punching bag to him than a girlfriend,” he remarks. “As a matter of fact, you don’t deserve to be called anything else if you don’t have even a tiny bit of self-respect in you.”

  That hits me hard, like really hard. I freeze in shock at his harsh words. I want to retaliate but words don’t find me. It’s just a feeling of despair that does. If I thought Luke’s words were hurting me, then what Devon said is cutting through my breath like a dagger.

  And Devon isn’t finished being callous yet. “Funny that your gran and best friends didn’t tell you that truth is bitter.” He snorts, and turns away.

  I stand there rooted to the spot as I watch him go down the rest of the stairwell and disappear into the hallways.

  I don’t know why I’m letting Devon’s words get to me hard. Being excessively crude and unapologetic is his very nature.

  When Luke walks over to me at PE, he is not grumpy anymore. I thought he was gonna say something about blowing me off earlier that day, but he doesn’t. He pretends like nothing ever happened. And I don’t bring up the topic either.

  When I walk in for English, I find Devon already there. He looks over at me. But I avoid him, and walk over to my seat.

  “Eleanor.” He approaches me.

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” I say, taking my books out.

  But Devon is adamant. “Eleanor, please.”

  “You’re crossing a line here.” I look at him fiercely.

  “No, I’m mending my mistakes,” he asserts. “I’m sorry for being rude to you. Though I don’t take any of my words back but the way I put it out across to you could surely have been less unpleasant.”

  I stare at him in disbelief. “Are you sure you’re even apologizing ‘cause it doesn’t sound like it.”

  “I don’t know how to act the way you think I should.”

  “And you don’t even know what a meaningful apology is.”

  “I’m trying!” he points out. “I think that was the best apology you could get out of me, considering the fact that I suck at expressing myself. I won’t assure you that this won’t happen again but I can tell you I’ll be better at apologizing the next time.”

  Say what?!

  I roll my eyes in annoyance and look away. Devon goes back to his seat as the teacher walks in.

  What the hell. At first, I couldn’t help but let Devon’s words screw me over. And now that he apologized for it, I feel relieved.

  Wait, that wasn’t even an apology for Pete’s sake! Yet, I feel oddly better. Damn

  After class, as everyone starts to leave, I see Devon walking away with a brunette clinging to him. Melissa. It’s obvious they are headed to the janitor’s closet to do you-know-what.

  “Devon,” I call out and the two of them turn around, “can I speak to you for a sec?”

  Melissa scowls at me when he bluntly tells her to go away.

  “What is it?” Devon gives me a quizzical look.

  I can’t believe I’m about to say this but here it goes, “I thought about what you said the other day…about us fake seeing each other? I guess I’m…up for it if you still are.”

  His lips curl into a lopsided smile. “Cool.” He shrugs. “But I need to go do my thing with that hot brunette first. So, excuse me.”

  “No, you’re not!”

  “Why not?” Devon gets suspicious.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re not hooking
up with any girl when we’re doing this. You can’t hang out with me while you continue screwing other girls. I think you owe me that bit of decency.”

  Devon chuckles in amusement. “Child,” he says, “Devon Parker and decency have nothing in common except for the letter ‘D’. But I’m ready to make some changes.”

  I roll my eyes in annoyance. I can’t believe he actually thought I would be okay with him sleeping with other girls while we pretend to like each other in school. I mean, it’s gross, right?

  ***

  The following morning, Devon meets me in the school’s parking lot. I’m just so not sure about the whole thing. I can’t be sure what even got me to agree in the first place. I don’t know if I’m doing this for the right reasons. I’m nervous. I’m not making any sense, am I? This goes to show just how not sure I am.

  “I’ve given this little pretending game of ours a name,” remarks Devon, looking suave in the maroon t-shirt with black bomber jacket and jeans. “I call it The Middle Thing.”

  I raise a brow. “Why does it even have to have a name?”

  “That’s because both of us like each other a lot―you’re crazy for me per se―but we’re faking the whole thing since you choose to be so uptight,” he responds calmly.

  “Were you always this annoying or did Newton’s law hit you hard in the head?” I retort.

  Devon smiles an attractive smile and stretches out his hand at me.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Give me your hand.”

  “No way! I’m not gonna be holding hands with you,” I refuse at once.

  Devon rolls his eyes. “We’ve to make it look real.”

  I hesitate for a moment but finally oblige. Devon intertwines his long fingers with mine and we head to the campus. As soon as I hold hands with him, I feel infinite fireflies grope my mortal existence through and through. My heart pounds wildly behind my chest, making me dizzy. I feel like I’ve been resurrected from the dead and made to come alive like never before.

  But the shackles of fear are quick to stem out from the depths of my being. I’m afraid to be destroyed all over again. I’m scared that I don’t deserve to feel this good…this secured…this excited?

  I try to pull my hand away but he holds it firmly in place. I’m not used to so much of warmth.

  We get to the courtyard. Luke is flabbergasted seeing us holding hands. Devon stands facing me and looks deep into my eyes. I feel trapped in some sort of an enchantment. He is so charming. I miss a heartbeat when he lifts my hand to his lips and plants a feather light kiss on the back of my fingers.

  I feel a fierce adrenaline buckle my knees. From the corner of my eye, I see Luke leaving. But I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to care about what he thinks.

  Damn.

  I shouldn’t have agreed to this whole pretending thing. I might have let Devon in for all the wrong reasons.

  Chapter Six

  “I’m gonna drive to school on my own.” I hold the phone between my ear and shoulder while I gather my books into my bag that morning. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you outside of school,” I tell him firmly.

  “Well, it’s too late for that.”

  My eyes widen at Devon’s crisp reply. I leave the bag on the bed and rush to my window to see him sitting astride on his motorcycle and looking up at me with an impish smile. Holding the phone to his ear with one hand, he waves at me with his other.

  I’m aghast. “You have to leave, like, right now before Gran sees you and thinks that I’m cheating on Luke!” I say over the phone.

  “Tell her that you’re in an open relationship. Threesomes can be fun too, you know.”

  “You’re disgusting.”

  “Always a pleasure,” he says smugly.

  I get off the phone with a huff, grab my bag, and race downstairs to the kitchen.

  “Good mornin’, sugar bun,” Gran greets me cheerfully as I grab a sandwich from the plate.

  “Good mornin’, Gran. Sorry, no time for breakfast. See you later. Bye!”

  I don’t listen to any of Gran’s protests and dash outside through the kitchen door, shutting it behind me.

  “That was quick,” remarks Devon at the sight of me.

  “Wait.” I take a step back. “I’m not gonna get on that thing. Never.”

  “Does being uptight come this easy to you or do you swallow pills for it?” he drawls.

  “I don’t know how many times you have had sex on this bike!” I retort hotly.

  “How about none?” he counters. “Now hurry up if you don’t want your gran to see us.”

  I get on the motorcycle behind him with great reluctance. He puts his helmet on. I had to wrap my hands around him as he starts to drive. I can literally feel his solid abs through the thin material of his white shirt but I try to ignore that detail. I feel the breeze caress my face and play with my curls as we drive swiftly on the lanes of Crawford Lane.

  On a side note, Devon works at a construction site for Mr. Miller, a resident of the neighborhood, who lets the former use his motorcycle.

  As he drives down past the houses and takes a turn at the end of the street, the Parkers’ house looms at a distance. Devon’s cute little half-brother is playing in the front lawn. I sense Devon’s body grow stiff. When he spots us approaching, Jackson runs out through the gates and calls out to his older brother with a big smile on his baby face. I expect Devon to pull over but I’m in for a huge shock when he drives by faster instead. I look over my shoulder to see that Jackson had come out on the street and is running behind the bike, begging his brother to stop.

  “Devon, you need to pull over right now!” I yell over the wind but to my utter disbelief, he speeds up.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?!” I shout. “We’ve to go back there. Your brother is on the road, crying!”

  But Devon turns a deaf ear to my words.

  I’m extremely disturbed and worried by the time we reach school. Devon totally avoids the topic whenever I try to bring it up with him. Since he was being excruciatingly stubborn to not cooperate at all, I asked Gran over the phone to check on the little boy. She texted after some time and tells me that Jackson is fine.

  “You said that your favorite boring neighborhood is safe, didn’t you? Nothing was gonna happen to him anyway,” Devon finally speaks on the subject during the free period when we sit in the courtyard.

  But his callousness towards the whole thing only makes me wince. “By fine, Gran meant that he was physically safe but emotionally he’s not okay.”

  “Who cares?” He snorts. “As long as he looks fine, all is good. Emotions are stupid.”

  “Don’t lie, Devon,” I say dryly. “You’ve been very distracted all day. You didn’t mess around with me even once since today. There’s no devious smile on your face. You’re practically silent since we arrived. So don’t tell me you don’t care ‘cause you do.”

  The edges of his alluring lips curl into a smirk. “I just wanted to see how much you’d miss me being me. Turns out you do. A lot.”

  I roll my eyes at his nonsensical explanation. “You know what I think, Devon? I think you’re terribly fond of Jackson. Else why would you take the street that passes his front lawn if you didn’t want to see him? You could’ve easily taken the other longer route if you really wanted to avoid him.”

  Devon clenches his jaws as his lips draw into a thin line. “I hate my father and his family. They are disgusting douches, Jackson included. And if you can’t suck that up, then get lost.”

  I’m shaken by his sudden harshness. He has never ever spoken to me like that. Oh, wait. He has. My bad I forgot.

  “In that case, I have a class to go to.” I pick my bag and get going.

  “No, Eleanor, wait. I’m sorry,” he calls after me at once but I don’t stop.

  He follows me to the hallways. “Eleanor, wait.” I feel his hand closing in around my wrist from behind and the next thing I know, he has me caged between the wall an
d him.

  “Are you mad at me?” he asks urgently. Our faces are so close that his warm breath touches my lips.

  “It’s not my place to be mad at you,” I croak, fighting the blinding intensity of his dark smoldering eyes. “I’ve no right to have a say in your matters. But I’m sad about the way you mistreated a little kid.”

  “Don’t be mad or sad. I’ll talk to Jackson after school, I promise,” he assures me.

  “Yeah…” I wheeze against his ragged breath.

  “Are we good?” His intense tone is laced with fear, something that confuses me.

  “Yes,” I manage to hiss.

  “See you after class.” He steps away from me, and I resist the urge to breathe heavily until he is out of sight.

  ***

  “Don’t tell me that you and Devon aren’t still a real thing yet?” Stef asks in disbelief, sipping her espresso at The Mug after school that day. “Because I noticed just how he can’t bear to be apart from you.”

  “It’s nothing like that,” I deny. After I shockingly agreed to Devon’s stupid offer, I called and informed Stef about it right away. I just can’t keep something like that from my best friend. “We’re still putting up a fake act to make Luke jealous.”

  “But it comes at a price, E.” She sighs anxiously. “Like right now, don’t you know that the whole school has started talking an awful lot of shit about you? It’s so hard to shut them up. Kelly’s having the last laugh in all this.”

  “I know I’m being called the Queen Slut of Westford High. Yeah, I’m aware of that.” I shrug nonchalantly.

  It’s been a week now since Devon and I are at this whole pretending game. As all the folks at school think—that Luke’s a great guy to be with—I’ve suddenly become the bitch who was with him just for his popular status. These days I can’t even walk the hallways without having to hear all the snide comments thrown at me. I can’t open my locker without having to find nasty anonymous sticky notes pinned all over it. Devon landed up in detention the other day for punching a guy who apparently said something horrible about me behind my back.