Dork Diaries 6: Tales From a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker Read online

  WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19

  Today in swim class we had a skills test on diving.

  “Now, class, the object of this skills test is to measure your ability to dive AND retrieve the objects from the bottom of the pool as quickly as possible,” our teacher explained. “You’ll be diving for seven plastic rings.”

  Come on! What’s the point? What are we training for? A dolphin show or something?! Why doesn’t the teacher just sell tickets to see us perform and throw us fish as a reward when we do a good job? I’m just sayin’!

  But get this! I couldn’t believe there was no ambulance or some elite emergency team here to rescue us.

  You know, like the ones you always see on the sidelines at our football games.

  Didn’t it dawn on our teacher that we might need CPR or maybe even oxygen?

  Or how about one of those supersized rescue-hook thingies to pull us out of the water in the event of an emergency?

  MacKenzie was next in line to take her skills test. When the teacher yelled “DIVE!” MacKenzie dove into the pool, barely making a splash. Within seconds she had scooped up all of the rings and was back out of the pool with the fastest time in the entire class.

  She waved and blew kisses to everyone like she had just won a gold medal in the Olympics or something.

  That girl is so VAIN!

  However, I was not the least bit intimidated.

  Dad had purchased everything I needed for my skills test from a yard sale last summer . . . .

  ME, READY TO DIVE IN MY SCUBA GEAR

  Anyway, when my teacher hollered “DIVE!” I jumped in and grabbed all the rings in record time. Even faster than MacKenzie!

  My gym teacher congratulated me on my remarkable performance. But then she got an attitude about the whole thing and gave me a . . .

  big fat D !

  I was so DISGUSTED!

  “Sorry, Miss Maxwell,” my teacher said. “But you’re diving for plastic rings, NOT sunken treasure! No scuba gear is allowed!!”

  Apparently, it was against the pool rules. But HOW was I supposed to know THAT?!

  The only sign about rules I saw said . . .

  WCD POOL RULES

  1. NO running!

  2. NO eating!

  3. NO horseplay!

  4. NO peeing in the pool!

  5. NO float toys!

  There was nothing on that list that said . . .

  NO SCUBA GEAR!

  That’s when I totally lost it and yelled at my teacher. “Sorry, lady, but I’m NOT some humpback whale capable of diving to the deepest, darkest, most dangerous depths of the pool. I NEED my mask, wet suit, regulator, tank, and scuba fins. Besides, the water is so deep my eyeballs could pop out. And I could die from decompression sickness.

  “Worse yet, YOU didn’t even bother to have an ambulance here just in case I needed to be rushed to the hospital! So let me see YOU dive to the bottom of the pool without having a massive stroke or something!”

  But I just said that in my head, so no one else heard it but me.

  That diving skills test was SO unfair! I should definitely get a do-over!! I’m just sayin’!! !!

  THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20

  I’m really starting to worry about my grade in swimming. If I get lower than a C as a final grade, my teacher will request a meeting with my parents.

  OMG! What if I end up losing my bug extermination scholarship and can’t attend this school any longer?

  And as if I don’t already have enough problems, I noticed Brandon staring at me in the halls today. He actually tried to talk to me in bio, but I totally ignored him.

  AGAIN!

  But then things got even weirder!

  I was working in the library and minding my own business, and guess who just popped in like he owned the place or something??!!

  BRANDON !!

  I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

  Anyway, he asked if he could talk to me, and I said yes, but right then I was really busy putting away books.

  Then he said, “Well, I’ll help you put them away, and then we can talk while we’re working.”

  And I said, “Actually, you CAN’T help me because you don’t know where the books are supposed to go on the shelves.”

  That’s when he suggested that HE could help by handing ME the books so I could place them on the shelves.

  He was being very nice, sweet, and helpful, and getting on my LAST nerve all at the same time!

  So he was handing me books, and I was putting them on the shelves.

  Which made me SUPERnervous because he kept kind of . . . staring at me.

  BRANDON KIND OF STARES AT ME WHILE WE’RE PUTTING AWAY LIBRARY BOOKS.

  Finally he cleared his throat. “Nikki, I just wanted to let you know that I felt really bad about you getting in trouble in bio for trying to do something nice for me.”

  “Like I said before, it wasn’t that big of a deal!”

  “Well, it was to ME. So I want to do something nice for you.”

  “Actually, that’s not necessary. It was just a stupid card!”

  “I don’t think it was stupid.”

  “Well, I do!” I shot back.

  Brandon stared at the floor. “Anyway, I thought maybe we could hang out at Crazy Burger this Saturday. I know the last time I mentioned it, you said you didn’t want to go because you were SUPERbusy!”

  I could not believe he actually said that to me!

  Not the part about hanging out at Crazy Burger. But that part about me NOT wanting to go to Crazy Burger because I was SUPERbusy.

  “WHAAAT?! No way! Brandon, YOU said you couldn’t go to Crazy Burger because YOU were SUPERbusy!”

  “HUH?! No, Nikki! YOU told ME you were too busy and couldn’t go. It was at your locker. I wanted to go, but that Saturday and Sunday didn’t work out.”

  “Actually, you kind of stood me up,” I said.

  “No, I didn’t. When I tried to explain what happened, you shut me down.”

  “That’s NOT what happened. I was trying to talk to YOU, and you just walked away!”

  Lately, whenever we tried to have a conversation, we ended up fighting. Brandon and I just stared at each other in frustration . . . .

  For some strange reason, we were having major communication problems.

  I knew in my gut that something was wrong! But I didn’t have the slightest idea what it was or how to fix it.

  Finally Brandon sighed and brushed his bangs out of his eyes.

  “Okay. So, how about Crazy Burger on Saturday? At six thirty p.m. If you’re not too busy,” he said, giving me a crooked smile.

  “Okay, sure! If YOU’RE not too busy!” I said, smiling back at him.

  Then we both kind of stared at each other and blushed.

  All of this smiling, staring, and blushing went on, like, FOREVER!

  So, it was official. Brandon and I were hanging out at Crazy Burger on Saturday.

  I couldn’t wait to tell Chloe and Zoey the exciting news.

  But I didn’t have to . . . .

  Chloe and Zoey were secretly spying on us the entire time?!

  I could NOT believe my BFFs would stoop so low as to do something like that to Brandon and me!

  Especially during a very private and personal conversation about our friendship.

  Chloe and Zoey are always sticking their big fat noses in my personal business. But it’s mostly because the two of them really care about me.

  I have to admit . . .

  They’re the best friends EVER!!

  !!

  FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21

  I’m still so excited about Crazy Burger that I barely got any sleep last night.

  Of course I couldn’t wait to see Brandon in bio.

  SQUEEE !

  We blushed, smiled, and made goo-goo eyes the ENTIRE hour. I could see MacKenzie and Jessica staring at us and whispering like crazy. But I didn’t care.

  To be honest, I don’t remember a single word my teacher sa
id about today’s lesson. But it was the BEST. CLASS. EVER!

  I’m SO happy Brandon and I are FINALLY getting along again. I just hope spending time together at Crazy Burger will help strengthen our friendship.

  But right now my immediate problem is that I don’t have the slightest idea what to wear on our first date.

  I don’t want my outfit to be too dressy, but not too casual, either. It needs to be . . . PERFECT!

  I just stood there staring inside my closet for what seemed like FOREVER! But unfortunately, I didn’t see anything that was PERFECT !

  ME, LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT OUTFIT!

  I was DESPERATE! So I decided to take DRASTIC action.

  I knew it would be dangerous because of the risk of exhaustion. But I didn’t really have a choice.

  I was going to TRY ON all of my clothes superfast and mix and match tops and bottoms until I came up with a SUPERCUTE outfit! Also known as a . . . TRY-ON-A-THON!

  When the smoke finally cleared, my TRY-ON-A-THON was a HUGE success!

  I came up with the most FAB OUTFIT ever . . . !

  ME, MODELING MY FAB OUTFIT!

  Now all I have to do is get through the meal WITHOUT:

  1. dropping my hamburger in my lap.

  2. accidentally squirting ketchup on Brandon.

  3. laughing so hard that soda dribbles out of my nose.

  MUST.

  NOT.

  FREAK.

  OUT!

  !!

  SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22

  OMG! Today’s the big day! Brandon and I have a date at Crazy Burger in just a few hours!!

  SQUEEE !

  By the time I showered, did my hair, and got dressed, it was 6:15 p.m. and time for my mom to drive me to the restaurant.

  I was a nervous wreck!

  I had sat next to Brandon in bio, like, forever. But the thought of sitting next to him at Crazy Burger was more scary than those Friday the 13th movies that my parents refused to let me watch.

  “Hi, Nikki!” he said, smiling. “It’s cool that we’re FINALLY getting to hang out here.”

  I quickly checked behind me just to make sure he wasn’t talking to someone else named Nikki.

  “Hi, Brandon!” I said, blushing profusely.

  For the next five minutes, we just sat there nervously sipping our sodas and staring at each other with these big, dorky grins plastered across our faces. It was SO romantic! Well, kind of.

  It felt like the butterflies in my stomach were having a big party. And some of them must have flown up to my brain, because I could barely think straight.

  Brandon seemed more quiet than usual too.

  Then I picked up the paper thingy from my straw and started wrapping it around and around my finger while I tried to think of something funny, witty, or interesting to say. I came up with . . .

  “Hmm, I wonder what stuff is in that ketchup?”

  That’s when Brandon picked up the ketchup bottle and started reading off all of the ingredients. “Well, it says tomato concentrate, distilled vinegar, corn syrup, salt, spice, onion powder, and other ingredients.”

  I grabbed a piece of the straw paper thingy and made a giant spit wad and shot it right out of my straw, and it landed on the table in front of Brandon’s glass. SMACK!

  Brandon was surprised that I knew how to make spit wads.

  Then he took a few sips of his soda.

  But when his straw made those loud slurpy noises, like SKURR-SKURR, he coughed nervously and almost knocked over his glass.

  Then we stared at each other some more. Next I took the salt shaker and poured salt into my hand and made these little miniature mountains while Brandon watched.

  Suddenly his stomach started making these loud grumbling sounds, probably because he was hungry or something.

  “OMG! Brandon, your stomach sounds just like a jet engine!” I teased. You should have seen the look on his face. I thought he was going to DIE of embarrassment!

  Then, finally, our burgers came . . . !

  OMG! They were crazy delicious! Soon our nervous jitters went away and we actually had an intelligent conversation.

  He gave me an update on Fuzzy Friends, his work for the school newspaper, and his photography projects.

  I told him about losing a hair chunk at Salon Brianna, Mrs. Wallabanger’s grandson, and the horrors of swim class.

  We both laughed until our sides hurt. It was amazing how Brandon was just so . . .

  FUNNY and NICE!

  Then things got SUPERserious. He said he felt awful when he heard that someone had plastered those crazy posters of me around the school. He said he’s ALLERGIC to mean people!

  We both agreed that MacKenzie was probably behind it.

  I really wanted to ask him if he had any idea how she’d gotten her hands on that photo since Brianna had only e-mailed it to Chloe, Zoey, and him.

  But I was sure he would have been highly insulted and disappointed that I’d accuse him of helping MacKenzie pull a nasty prank like that. So I decided NOT to mention it right then.

  Somehow, we ended up talking about the Sweetheart Dance.

  “So, are you going?” I asked.

  “No. But I would if the right person asked me.”

  “Does that mean the wrong person asked you?”

  “Yeah, MacKenzie actually came to my birthday party and asked me. But I told her no. Since then she’s been hanging around, trying to get me to change my mind. She even offered to have her dad make a sizable donation to Fuzzy Friends if I’d go with her. Hey, we need the money badly, but . . .” His voice trailed off.

  I started playing with the straw paper thingy again as my mind raced.

  So MacKenzie had asked Brandon to the dance?!

  And he turned her down?!

  I was SUPERhappy AND relieved to hear that news.

  Now I could ask him to the dance!

  If I could just muster up the courage.

  “Well, maybe someone else wants to ask you but she’s afraid you might say no,” I said, blushing.

  “Really?!” Brandon blinked in surprise. “Actually, I’d probably . . . no, definitely say YES! Like, IF she actually asked,” he said, staring at me.

  That was my cue!

  Brandon was basically asking ME to ask HIM to the dance!

  “Well . . . um, about the dance. I wanted to ask you . . . if you . . . um, think, er . . . WE . . . will have another BLIZZARD?! We got a whopping nine inches of snow last time!” I babbled like an idiot.

  STRIKE ONE!

  Brandon continued to stare at me. “Nope. Do you want to ask me anything else?”

  “Actually, there IS something I’d like to ask.”

  “Okay . . .”

  “So, would you . . . like to, um, have DESSERT??!! I hear the red velvet chocolate cake at this place is to DIE for!”

  Brandon smiled and nodded his head. “Sure, Nikki! That sounds great!”

  I wanted to kick myself. STRIKE TWO!!

  “Um, Brandon, there’s j-just one last thing I want to ask you . . .,” I stammered nervously.

  “Wait. Let me guess!” Brandon teased. “You want to know if . . . I want ice cream?”

  “No! Not that!” l replied.

  “Hot fudge on the side, with whipped cream?”

  “NO!” I giggled.

  “I know! Those little sprinkle thingies!”

  “NOOO!” I shouted.

  “Then, WHAT . . . ?!” Brandon asked in mock frustration.

  “I want to know if you’d . . . you know . . . go to the Sweetheart Dance with me!” I blurted out, blushing profusely.

  Suddenly Brandon got this SUPERserious look on his face and started fidgeting with his straw. Okay, now I was really nervous. Maybe asking him was a big mistake.

  “Actually, Nikki, there’s just no way I could—”

  “That’s fine! Really!” I interrupted. “I totally understand. I asked you at the last minute and everything!”

  I gave him a weak smile. B
ut deep down inside I felt so hurt I wanted to burst into tears.

  “Actually, Nikki, there’s just no way I could say NO to you!” Brandon said as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes and gave me that crooked smile.

  That’s when I blushed again and smiled at him.

  And then he blushed and smiled at me. All of this blushing and smiling went on, like, FOREVER!

  So not only did I have a really great time at Crazy Burger, but now . . .

  I’M GOING TO THE SWEETHEART DANCE WITH BRANDON!!

  SQUEEE !!

  I am SOOO excited!

  ME, DOING MY SNOOPY “HAPPY DANCE”!!

  I can’t wait to call Chloe and Zoey and tell them the FANTASTIC news!

  Although, there’s a slight chance my BFFs already know, if they were at Crazy Burger hiding under our table SPYING on us. AGAIN!

  I guess we’ll be able to go on a TRIPLE DATE together after all. Just like we’d planned!

  SQUEEE!!! !!

  OMG! This is going to be SOOO romantic!!

  ME, HOLDING MY HEART AND SWOONING MASSIVELY!!

  SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23

  It’s hard to believe that I’m actually going to the Sweetheart Dance with Brandon.

  SQUEEE !!

  I think Chloe and Zoey are even more excited about it than I am. They’ve already called me a dozen times and I just told them the news an hour ago.

  The dress code is formal attire, which means girls get to wear floor-length dresses! You know, like Cinderella and all of the Disney Princesses.

  How COOL is THAT?!

  Chloe and Zoey already have their dresses.

  But being the great friends that they are, they agreed to meet at the mall to help find the perfect one for ME.

  Anyway, I must have tried on fifty dresses . . . .

  But they were either too FRUMPY . . .

  Or too FRILLY!

  Or too FORMAL . . .

  Or too FUNKY!

  We came back from the mall empty-handed.

  Of course I was pretty bummed out.