The Misadventures of Max Crumbly 2 Read online

  “Well, my parents confiscated my computer for being online after hours and then grounded me so I would become a more responsible young adult. So I didn’t have a choice but to hack into my dad’s work computer to see what was going on over here. Then I got dressed, disconnected our burglar alarm, crawled out of my bedroom window, and snuck over here on my bicycle to make sure you were okay,” Erin explained.

  “But I could have been anywhere in this humongous school. How did you know I was in here?”

  Erin leaned back and shined her flashlight on the security camera at the top of the building. “When I saw your comic book fly out of that window, I knew it was just a matter of time before YOU’D be flying out of that window after it. That’s when I knew I had to get over here. And FAST!”

  Suddenly Erin turned serious. “So, are you okay?”

  “I’m FINE!” I muttered. “But thank you! For coming over here to check on me. Especially after all of the drama with your parents. I just, um . . . really appreciate it,” I gushed.

  “Well, let’s get you out of here! I called the cops a minute ago, so they’ll be arriving soon.”

  That’s when Erin moved her flashlight, and suddenly my whole outfit was in the spotlight. “MAX CRUMBLY! WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY ICE PRINCESS COSTUME?!”

  I stared right into her eyes and waved my hands slowly in front of her face. . . .

  “Max, are you INSANE?! Or maybe you hit your head when you fell into that Dumpster, because now you are acting CRAZY, dude!”

  “Um, actually, that was my attempt at a Jedi mind trick!” I grinned sheepishly.

  “Well, your Jedi mind trick obviously DIDN’T work! Now, WHY are you wearing my ice princess costume?!”

  “You do NOT see an ice princess—”

  “Cut it out, Max, that’s not funny!”

  “No, I’m very serious. It just might work!”

  Suddenly Erin’s eyes glazed over, and she gave me a blank stare.

  “I. Do. NOT. See. An. Ice. Princess. Costume,” she muttered in a trance-like state.

  Of course that freaked me out.

  “Erin, I was just kidding. Come on, snap out of it! Please!” I pleaded.

  Finally she couldn’t keep a straight face any longer and burst into laughter. I did too. I mean, it WAS funny. Kind of.

  “Come on, Erin, seriously. Don’t you think I have a cool superhero vibe going on? I actually like it!” I said, striking a macho Batman pose.

  “Do you really want to know what I think, Max? I think you’d make a really great understudy for Elsa the Snow Queen in the next blockbuster Frozen movie!” she giggled.

  I rolled my eyes at that girl.

  THAT was just WRONG on so many levels!

  For real!!

  25. YET ANOTHER MORTIFYING MISADVENTURE OF MAX CRUMBLY

  “Here, grab ahold of my backpack and I’ll pull you up,” Erin said as she dangled it within my reach.

  “Are you SURE you can pull me up?” I asked. “And that backpack of yours is cute, but will it hold my weight?”

  That’s when we suddenly heard sirens wailing in the distance. The police were on their way to the school.

  “Hurry up, Max! We need to get out of here before the police arrive! If my parents find out I snuck out of the house, instead of one week, they’re going to ground me until my twenty-first birthday,” Erin complained.

  I took a running jump and grabbed Erin’s backpack.

  After that everything seemed to move in slow motion.

  First Erin screamed in shock and surprise.

  Then she toppled headfirst over the brick wall.

  Finally she landed on the cot, right next to me in the DUMPSTER, with a loud . . .

  THUMP!

  “EW! OMG! What’s that horrible smell?!” she shrieked.

  “Come on, Erin! We’re sitting in a DUMPSTER. Remember?! That SMELL could be anything! Rotting food, moldy books, even a dead animal,” I teased.

  Of course, I very conveniently left out the part that it could also possibly be . . . ME.

  “So, how are we going to get out of here?! We BOTH could get kicked out of school!” Erin panicked.

  “I don’t know! But we’ll figure it out, okay?” I exclaimed. “Just CHILLAX!” We sat there awhile. Then Erin started to bug me. . . .

  If this were a superhero comic book, it would probably end like this:

  When we last left our hero, Max, he and his sidekick, Erin, were trapped in a DUMPSTER DUNGEON, sitting on a heaping pile of garbage, surrounded by four impenetrable fifteen-foot brick walls, and locked behind solid steel doors.

  Will they somehow ESCAPE and continue their SECRET life FIGHTING CRIME from the vast, labyrinth-like ventilation system, located in the dank, dark halls of South Ridge Middle School?

  Or will they be apprehended by the authorities and expelled from South Ridge for breaking seventy-three school rules in a single day?

  Is Moose still wrapped in plastic in the kitchen? Is Tucker still dangling in a net in the gym? And is Ralph still snuggling with that ten-foot-long python, Tinkerbell, in bio class?

  Or have they managed to escape and reunite in a dark, twisted plot to seek their REVENGE?

  Okay, people! You shouldn’t be shocked or surprised that I’m leaving you hanging like this.

  AGAIN!

  I warned you this was possibly going to end in a cliffhanger just like a real comic book. Which means my journal is . . .

  TO BE CONTINUED!

  Now, listen to me VERY carefully. . . .

  YOU ARE A HERO!

  YOOOOOU ARE A HEEEEEERO!!

  So go out and save the world!

  WARNING! You have just become the unsuspecting victim of a Jedi mind trick.

  Please be aware that becoming a SUPERHERO could result in mind-blowing adventures.

  Including possible contact with garbage, slime, sewage, and other smelly substances. DON’T WORRY, I’M JUST KIDDING!

  NOT!

  If I can prevent what happened to ME from happening to YOU or another kid, then every second Erin and I spend suffering in that disgusting Dumpster dungeon will be worth it.

  Because if WE can become heroes and make the world a better place . . .

  YOU CAN TOO!!

  FOR REAL!

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  When we last left our superhero team, led by Batgirl (my editorial director, Liesa Abrams Mignogna), Liesa was busy orchestrating an ingenious master plan for getting my manuscript finalized, staying clear of booby traps and gridlocks. Using her supersonic listening skills and telepathic communication, she was able to literally edit manuscript pages before they were actually written. She’s super creative, amazing, and can conquer anything with poise and a smile. Thank you, Batgirl, (and Bat Boy, too) for being my bat caped crusaders.

  Using her magical powers to shape, shift, and manipulate illusions, Karin Paprocki, my gifted art director, was diligently creating a mind-blowing cover and fabulous layouts guaranteed to mesmerize kids across this universe. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

  My incredible managing editor, Katherine Devendorf, was busy using her powers of literary manipulation to edit words into thrilling sequences. With a stroke of her pen, she could thwart impending danger lurking on the pages of my manuscript, and for that I am grateful.

  My fantastic superagent and ally, Daniel Lazar, was using his enhanced intellect and clairvoyance to transform a simple dream into reality. Thank you for your tireless and unwavering support and for being a true champion, advocate, and friend.

  My league of superheroes at Aladdin/Simon & Schuster—Mara Anastas, Mary Marotta, Jon Anderson, Julie Doebler, Faye Bi, Carolyn Swerdloff, Matt Pantoliano, Catherine Hayden, Michelle Leo, Anthony Parisi, Christina Solazzo, Lauren Forte, Chelsea Morgan, Rebecca Vitkus, Crystal Velasquez, Jenn Rothkin, Ian Reilly, Christina Pecorale, Gary Urda, and the entire sales force—were collaborating, using their vast and unrivaled superpowers and abilities to make this series a huge success.
Thanks for your fearlessness and commitment. You are the best team ever!

  Torie Doherty-Munro at Writers House; my foreign rights agents Maja Nikolic, Cecilia de la Campa, Angharad Kowal, and James Munro; and Zoé, Marie, and Joy were all busy using telepathic powers to translate Max’s world into a universal language that everyone on this earth can enjoy. Thanks for all that you do!

  My super-talented sidekick, Nikki, was busy creating new illustrated life forms. I’ll always enjoy our day-to-day adventures and challenges in the publishing industry. I consider myself a very lucky mom to have the pleasure of working with you every day.

  My other sidekicks, Kim, Doris, Don, and my entire family were protecting the home base and executing our mission. I could not do this without you. You are forever by my side no matter the quest or the escapade.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  PHOTOGRAPH © BY SUNA LEE

  RACHEL RENÉE RUSSELL is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the blockbuster book series Dork Diaries and the exciting new series The Misadventures of Max Crumbly.

  There are more than twenty-five million copies of her books in print worldwide, and they have been translated into thirty-six languages.

  She enjoys working with her two daughters, Erin and Nikki, who help write and illustrate her books.

  Rachel’s message is “Become the hero you’ve always admired!”

  ALADDIN / Simon & Schuster, New York

  VISIT US AT SIMONANDSCHUSTER.COM/KIDS

  Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/Rachel-Renée-Russell

  Also by

  RACHEL RENÉE RUSSELL

  Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life

  Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl

  Dork Diaries 3: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star

  Dork Diaries 31/2: How to Dork Your Diary

  Dork Diaries 4: Tales from a Not-So-Graceful Ice Princess

  Dork Diaries 5: Tales from a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-All

  Dork Diaries 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

  Dork Diaries OMG!: All About Me Diary!

  Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star

  Dork Diaries 8: Tales from a Not-So-Happily Ever After

  Dork Diaries 9: Tales from a Not-So-Dorky Drama Queen

  Dork Diaries 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter

  Dork Diaries 11: Tales from a Not-So-Friendly Frenemy

  The Misadventures of Max Crumbly 1: Locker Hero

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  ALADDIN * An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division * 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 * www.SimonandSchuster.com * First Aladdin hardcover edition June 2017 * Copyright © 2017 by Rachel Renée Russell * All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. * ALADDIN and related logo are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. * For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected]. * The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. * Book designed by Karin Paprocki * Cover designed by Karin Paprocki * Cover illustrations copyright & 2017 by Rachel Renée Russell * The text of this book was set in Italo Medium Extended. * Library of Congress Control Number 2017937154 * ISBN 978-1-4814-6003-3 (hc) * ISBN 978-1-4814-6004-0 (eBook)