Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales From a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker Read online

  But mostly, everyone was staring nervously at some huge commotion down the hall.

  WHAT was going on??! And WHERE were all the GIRLS?!

  Okay, this was just too . . . WEIRD.

  While all of the guys stood there gawking, I decided to go down the hall and investigate . . . .

  OMG! I could NOT believe my eyes!!

  Practically every girl in the entire school was part of this huge crowd in line for tickets to the Sweetheart Dance.

  Jordyn, the girl who sits behind me in geometry, showed me her tickets and excitedly filled me in . . . .

  “NIKKI, THIS IS THE MOST POPULAR DANCE OF THE YEAR! BUT MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR TICKETS SOON BECAUSE THEY USUALLY SELL OUT IN A FEW DAYS!”

  She was right about the dance being really popular. The line was so long that it flowed past the office, wrapped around the corner near the library, and extended beyond the cafeteria door. It looked like the entrance to a sold-out Justin Bieber concert! But get this . . . !!

  It was GIRLS ASK THE GUYS!

  Of course, I totally FREAKED! Unfortunately, the ONLY guy I am even remotely interested in couldn’t even stand to eat a burger with me !

  I was so NOT asking him to some Sweetheart Dance!!

  All of this gushy sweetheart stuff was getting on my last nerve. So I decided to go to my locker and vent in my diary before my first class.

  But THAT was a really BAD idea!

  MacKenzie had bedazzled her locker with so many sparkly red and pink hearts, it practically blinded me. Even her lip gloss was red and glittery!

  HOW in the world was I supposed to write in my diary when all of HER very tacky BLING-BLING was, um . . . BLING-BLINGING all over the place?!!

  I couldn’t believe what happened next. That girl wrinkled her nose and then sprayed her Pretty Poison designer perfume all over me, accidentally-on-purpose.

  Like, WHO does that?! Finally, I just totally lost it.

  “PLEASE, MacKenzie! Could you be more careful where you’re spraying that stuff?”

  “Sorry, Nikki! It’s just that your odor is especially pungent today. And I don’t have a can of Lysol disinfectant spray.”

  “Personally, I’d prefer Lysol. What’s the name of that perfume you’re wearing? Flea-’n’-Tick Repellent?” I shot back.

  Calling MacKenzie a mean girl is an understatement. She’s a shark in lip gloss, skinny jeans, and platform heels.

  Suddenly she turned around and got all up in my face like zit cream or something . . . .

  “SO, NIKKI, ARE YOU GOING TO THE SWEETHEART DANCE? OH, MY BAD! THEY DON’T ADMIT ANIMALS!”

  “Actually, MacKenzie, that stank you’re smelling is not me. It’s coming from your mouth. You’re obviously suffering from a severe case of BLABBER-ITIS! Is that stuff contagious?” a smelly, long-haired doghoAS

  MacKenzie glared at me with her beady little eyes. “Admit it, Nikki! You’re just jealous because Brandon liked the digital camera I gave him for his birthday A LOT better than YOUR stupid gift certificates to CRUDDY BURGER.”

  “It’s not CRUDDY Burger. It’s CRAZY Burger!” I said, wondering how she even knew about it. Had Brandon told her we were going to Crazy Burger together to use his gift certificates?

  “Whatever! Your gift was SO tacky! I got the camera so Brandon can take pictures of me when I’m crowned Sweetheart Princess. And I’ve already asked him to the dance, so don’t even think about it.”

  I just blinked my eyes in shock! MacKenzie had already asked Brandon to the dance???!!!!

  Did he say YES or NO?!! Or MAYBE? She had very conveniently left out THAT little detail.

  However, I had to admit, everything was starting to make perfect sense.

  When MacKenzie had asked to talk to Brandon in private at his birthday party, it was probably to invite him to the Sweetheart Dance!

  And if they were going to the dance together, there was NO WAY she’d want him hanging out with ME at Crazy Burger.

  So he had sent me that text !

  I closed my eyes, sighed deeply, and bit my lip.

  Then an unexpected wave of anger rushed over me.

  MacKenzie is NOT the boss of me! It’s a free country! I can ask WHOEVER I want to the dance.

  And yes, Brandon had just stood me up.

  But STILL!

  There was NO reason why I couldn’t just totally HUMILIATE myself by ASKING him anyway. Right?!

  WRONG!! If MacKenzie and Brandon want to be together, I’m NOT going to stand in their wa—

  That’s when MacKenzie rudely interrupted the deep conversation I was having with myself. “BTW, Nikki, just a friendly little reminder! Make sure you vote for ME for Sweetheart Princess on February fourteenth! Everybody else is going to. I’m SOOO popular!” MacKenzie gushed.

  Then she flipped her hair and sashayed away. I just HATE it when that girl sashays!

  I was really upset that MacKenzie was trying to undermine my friendship with Brandon. AGAIN!

  What if I asked him to the dance too?! Then he’d be forced to choose!

  TWO desperate girls and ONE guy! Just GREAT !

  Of course, this left me with one very obvious and compelling question.

  WHY in the world would MacKenzie ask ME to vote for HER for Sweetheart Princess when it’s so obvious that she HATES my guts?!

  All of this is mind-boggling!! And my mind is so BOGGLED, I seriously need to talk to my BFFs, Chloe and Zoey.

  They were the ONLY other girls in the entire school w

  TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4

  Okay, I was TOTALLY wrong about Chloe and Zoey NOT having Sweetheart Fever.

  They’re both so obsessed with the dance that their brains are way MUSHIER than all of the other lovesick, mushy-brained girls at school !

  Of course, this was a shocking discovery.

  I first noticed it in gym class during our swimming section at the WCD High School pool.

  We were supposed to be in the water warming up and doing laps for conditioning.

  But Chloe and Zoey were SO excited about the upcoming dance that we spent the ENTIRE hour just hanging out on the side of the pool, gossiping about it.

  Which was fine by me since I’m not that good at swimming anyway . . . .

  CHLOE, ZOEY, AND ME, IN GYM CLASS SWIMMING LAPS IN THE POOL (WELL, SORT OF)

  Even though they both wanted to go to the dance REALLY, REALLY badly, they had NOT purchased tickets yet.

  And guess WHY?! THEY didn’t want to go UNLESS I went TOO!

  I was like, “Come on, GUYS! If you both want to go, you should just do it! I’m sure it’ll be really fun and exciting!”

  “But it wouldn’t be the same without you, Nikki!” Chloe said sullenly.

  “Come on, Nikki! We’re BFFs. We’re supposed to do EVERYTHING together!” Zoey whined.

  That’s when I totally lost my patience with those two and yelled at them. “Really?! So if I jumped off a cliff, then you two would do it also? And what if I accidentally got hit by a bus—would you want to get hit by a bus too? Come on, girlfriends! We’re BFFs! Not CLONES! I think it’s time for you to grow up and get a LIFE!”

  But of course I said all of that inside my head so no one else heard it but me.

  Even though they could sometimes be a little annoying, I would NEVER hurt their feelings on purpose. After all, they ARE my BFFs!

  “Besides, I’m SURE you’re DYING to ask your boo, Brandon, to the dance!” Chloe said, and started making kissy sounds.

  “Yeah!” Zoey giggled. “Everyone saw you two making GOO-GOO eyes at each other at his birthday party.”

  Did I mention the fact that sometimes my BFFs can be a little SUPERannoying?

  “We were NOT making goo-goo eyes at each other!” I whisper-shouted as I flushed with embarrassment. COOTIES!”

  “Were TOO!” Chloe and Zoey teased.

  “Were NOT!”

  “Were TOO!”

  “Were NOT!”

  “Were TOO!”

  It seem
ed as if our silly little argument went on, like, FOREVER!

  “Okay, already!” I said, finally giving in. “So maybe Brandon and I goo-goo-eyed each other once or twice. But it wasn’t on purpose. Mostly.” Then I quickly changed the subject. “But what I’M dying to know is who you’d like to ask to the dance. Come on, girlfriends! Spill it!”

  Chloe and Zoey blushed profusely.

  “Actually, I did have someone in mind. But since we aren’t going, I guess that means you’ll NEVER know!” Chloe said smugly, and gave me the stink eye.

  “Same here!” Zoey said, and playfully stuck her tongue out at me. “For ME to know and YOU to find out!”

  CHLOE AND ZOEY VERY RUDELY REFUSE TO TELL ME WHO THEY’RE CRUSHING ON.

  Did I mention the fact that sometimes my BFFs are a MAJOR PAIN? But it was a NO-BRAINER! They’ve been crushing on Jason and Ryan, two CCP guys, for, like, FOREVER. DUH!!

  Anyway, even though Chloe and Zoey were really looking forward to the dance, the three of us decided not to go.

  I was actually kind of relieved, since I didn’t have a date.

  I decided not to tell them about the whole Crazy Burger fiasco and Brandon’s text message. Or that he and MacKenzie were probably going to the Sweetheart Dance together.

  To be honest, I wasn’t all that sure about my friendship with Brandon anymore.

  So I TOTALLY FREAKED when he came up to my locker today acting all nice and friendly. Kind of like nothing had ever happened between us.

  He was like, “Hey, Nikki! Oh, by the way, about Crazy Burger. I just wanted to tell you—”

  And I was like, “Really, Brandon. No problem at all. Just FORGET about it!”

  Then he looked a little surprised and was like, “Wait, I really need to explain. I wanted to hang out with you last weekend. But things got a little crazy. After MacKenzie dropped by my birthday party, I realized that I—”

  And I was like, “I know! You were superbusy. But I really don’t have time to talk right now. I’ve got a lot of STUFF to do! SORRY! Sound familiar?!” Then I folded my arms and just glared at him with this aggravated look on my face like, WHAT?!!

  And he stuck his hands in his pockets and just stared at ME with this perplexed look on his face like, HUH?!!!

  It seemed like all of that glaring and staring went on, like, FOREVER.

  Finally, Brandon shrugged. “Um, okay. I guess I better get to class. Later, Nikki.” a whopping nine inches of snowed all of

  Then he just walked away! Like, WHO does that?!

  How could he leave right in the middle of a serious discussion about our friendship? It was like he didn’t even care.

  That’s when the magazine article “How to Know if a Guy Is Just NOT Into You!” popped into my head again.

  I took it out of my backpack and read it over. Then I crossed off another item on the list . . . .

  4. When you try to talk about your relationship, he just walks away.

  Things had gone from BAD to WORSE!

  But OMG! What Brandon did later that night was totally unexpected.

  He sent me not one, but TWO more text messages!!

  Did I get a sincere, heartfelt apology about that whole Crazy Burger fiasco?

  NO! WAY!

  *****

  FROM BRANDON:

  &&&&&

  WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5

  Back in November I put together a band called Actually, I’m Not Really Sure Yet (formerly known as Dorkalicious), and we performed in the Westchester Country Day Middle School talent show.

  One of the grand prizes was a chance to participate in a reality TV show/talent boot camp called . . .

  It’s produced by the famous TV producer Trevor Chase, who was also a celebrity judge for our WCD talent show.

  I was disappointed when MacKenzie’s dance group, Mac’s Maniacs, won and we didn’t.

  Hey, I just thought my band was FANTASTIC!

  And apparently, so did Mr. Chase. He said his boot camp was for amateurs and beginners. But he felt our band was already fairly polished and wouldn’t benefit from it.

  Of course that was a BIG compliment! But it gets even better.

  He said he was interested in recording an original song that we’d written and performed, called “Dorks Rule!”

  We’re supposed to meet with him on Saturday, February 8. How COOL is THAT?!

  So today after school we had practice at Theo’s house.

  It was always fun hanging out with Chloe, Zoey, Violet, Theo, and Marcus. Although, a smelly, long-haired doggeWHro things between Brandon and me were just plain . . . AWKWARD !

  He kept staring at me the whole time with this strange look on his face. Like I was a puzzle he was trying to figure out or something.

  But the weird thing was that it seemed like everyone else had an extreme case of the giggles. I started to wonder what was in that hot chocolate we were drinking.

  I was trying to conduct a serious meeting about the future of our band, and they just kept laughing and cracking jokes.

  Well, everyone except Brandon. He just continued to stare at me, which made me SUPERnervous.

  “COME ON, GUYS! STOP GOOFING AROUND!”

  Anyway, our practice went really well. We totally ROCKED our song “Dorks Rule!” . . .

  MY BAND, PERFORMING “DORKS RULE!”

  After practice, I noticed Chloe and Marcus, and Zoey and Theo, were actually FLIRTING with each other!!

  That’s when it occurred to me that they BOTH made really CUTE couples! The best part was that Marcus and Theo seemed to REALLY like Chloe and Zoey.

  Unlike those two slimy CCP guys Jason and Ryan. It was quite obvious that they only hung around my BFFs to do MacKenzie’s EVIL bidding. They had successfully manipulated Chloe and Zoey in the past.

  But I am NOT about to let it happen AGAIN!

  I don’t know what that witch MacKenzie is cooking up in her cauldron. But she’d better hold on to her pointy little hat if she comes rolling up on me again! WHY? Because I’m so SICK of her and her two evil little flying monkeys, Jason and Ryan.

  MACKENZIE AND HER EVIL FLYING MONKEYS, JASON AND RYAN

  That’s when the most FABULOUS idea popped into my head.

  Chloe and Zoey would absolutely DIE if I surprised them with tickets to the Sweetheart Dance!

  And they TOTALLY deserve it too. They are FOREVER rescuing MY butt from one disaster or another.

  Even though I’m not going to the dance, there’s no reason why THEY can’t go!

  And Theo and Marcus would be the perfect dates for them!

  SQUEEE !!

  Am I not BRILLIANT??!!!

  After I got home, I texted them both and told them I had a GINORMOUS surprise for them. Of course they begged me to tell them what it is.

  But I told them I’m going to give it to them tomorrow during fifth period since we all work the last person I want. di together in the library as shelving assistants.

  Chloe and Zoey are SUPERlucky to have ME

  THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6

  I was so excited about my BIG surprise for Chloe and Zoey that I could barely eat breakfast.

  Thank goodness I had just enough money for six tickets saved up from babysitting Brianna and from my allowance.

  I begged my mom to drop me off at school ten minutes earlier than usual so I could buy the Sweetheart Dance tickets before Chloe and Zoey arrived.

  As I rushed down the hall, I passed a bunch of girls who had obviously just purchased their tickets.

  Several girls kissed their tickets, while others just stared and giggled hysterically. One girl twirled in circles, and another jumped for joy.

  OMG! It was like being in the hallway of a mental institution or something! . . .

  But the good news was, it looked like tickets were STILL available! Woo-hoo!

  However, this is what happened when I tried to buy mine . . .

  I couldn’t believe my ROTTEN luck!

  “No more tickets are available?! Are yo
u SURE?!” I asked desperately.

  “Since we’re having a special catered dinner for the dance, we had to turn in a figure for the number of students attending one week before the event. Unfortunately, our adviser placed the telephone call with the final head count five minutes ago. So we can’t sell any more tickets. Sorry!” said Brittany, the cheerleading captain, as she pulled their poster off the wall.

  “Just GREAT!” I muttered.

  Then I turned around and rushed straight down the hall to the nearest girls’ bathroom.

  I locked myself in a stall and waited until the bathroom was completely empty. Then, in a very CALM and MATURE manner, I did what any normal girl would do in my exact same situation . . . .

  I had a really good SCREAM . . . ! a smelly, long-haired dog hipro

  Which, for some strange reason, always makes me feel a lot better !

  But now I had a whole NEW problem.

  Chloe and Zoey were expecting this HUGE surprise.

  But NOW I didn’t have anything to give them!!

  Which meant they were going to be SUPER-disappointed.

  How CRUDDY would THAT be??!!

  I dug through my locker, trying to find something to give them.

  A moldy peanut butter sandwich?

  My favorite not-from-the-mall linty hoodie?

  An opened pack of tissues?

  A half-used tube of lip gloss?

  My situation was hopeless!

  Maybe I could give them something really unusual.

  For me, anyway.

  Something that would require honesty, integrity, and maturity.

  Like maybe . . . the TRUTH?!

  “I’m really sorry, Chloe and Zoey, but as a surprise, I tried to buy tickets to the Sweetheart Dance for you both, but they were sold out”?!