Tales From a Not-So-Friendly Frenemy Read online

  I decided to talk to my parents about all of this.

  But first I gave Brianna a big HUG!

  Then I made her a huge bowl of her fave dessert— ice cream, ketchup, and raisins—to cheer her up.

  BRIANNA EATS HER FAVE DESSERT

  OF ICE CREAM, KETCHUP, AND RAISINS

  It TOTALLY worked !!

  Within minutes she was smiling from ear to ear !

  But watching her actually EAT that stuff was DISGUSTING! I just threw up in my mouth for the THIRD time this evening.

  EWWW!! !!

  TUESDAY, MAY 6—NOON

  IN THE LIBRARY

  I’m STILL totally stressed out about Student Exchange Week.

  I dreaded attending North Hampton Hills because it meant dealing with MacKenzie and her crazy, mean-girl drama.

  But if I DIDN’T participate, I’d be forced to make up the lost credit by attending summer school.

  My situation was HOPELESS !

  Thank goodness Chloe, Zoey, and I had PE together during fourth period. I finally decided to talk to them about my problem.

  Since the weather was nice, our class went outside on the soccer field to work on drills. The three of us took turns dribbling our balls around a set of plastic cones while discussing my latest life crisis. . . .

  ME AND MY BFFS, DOING SOCCER DRILLS AND DISCUSSING MY LATEST LIFE CRISIS

  “Listen, Nikki, if you don’t want to attend MacKenzie’s school, maybe you should just explain your reason to Principal Winston,” Zoey suggested. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

  “I totally agree,” Chloe added. “If people knew even half of the AWFUL things that girl has done, no school would accept her as a student. Heck, her OWN parents would even REFUSE to HOMESCHOOL her!”

  “I don’t know, guys,” I sighed. “MacKenzie stole my diary and kept it for twelve days! Remember? There was a lot of SUPERpersonal stuff in there that I wouldn’t want ANYONE to know, especially Principal Winston.”

  “I think it’s about time you stood up for yourself, Nikki!” Chloe argued. “You can’t let MacKenzie continue to get away with the things she has been doing!”

  After agonizing over my situation for what seemed like forever, I finally made up my mind. I knew exactly what I needed to do. . . .

  “Thanks, guys! You’re the best friends EVER! I know I need to do this. But just the thought of dealing with MacKenzie and her drama makes me SICK to my stomach!” I grumbled.

  “Even if MacKenzie gets mad at you, what can she do?! TATTLE about some of the trivial stuff she read in your diary? Big fat hairy deal! At worst, you might get a few days of after-school detention,” Chloe fumed.

  Wait a minute!! A few days of DETENTION?!

  “Yeah, it won’t be the end of the world,” Zoey agreed. “You’ll get over it!”

  Sorry, but it WILL be the end of MY world!! When my parents KILL ME !

  I could NOT believe my BFFs could be so insensitive.

  “So . . . you both realize I didn’t just write about the CRAZY stuff I did. I ALSO wrote about the CRAZY stuff WE did.” I reminded them about . . .

  Joyriding in the library . . .

  Making prank calls on the school phone . . .

  Sneaking into the boys’ locker room . . .

  Pretending to be on the football team . . .

  Wandering the halls with a garbage can instead of a hall pass . . .

  Smuggling eight dogs into the school . . .

  AND the fact that we’ve been SECRETLY hanging out in the JANITOR’S CLOSET, like, FOREVER. . . .

  “That’s not even everything we’ve done,” I ranted. “Forget detention. WE’LL probably get a one-week SUSPENSION!”

  Suddenly Chloe and Zoey got really quiet.

  They both stared at me in total disbelief.

  “Did you j-just say ‘WE’?!” Zoey finally sputtered.

  “Um, on second thought, reporting MacKenzie might NOT be the best way to handle things,” Chloe muttered. “Did I mention that I’m ALLERGIC to suspensions?”

  Okay, now I was starting to get a little ticked off.

  I know Chloe and Zoey are supposed to be my BFFs. But it seemed like they thought ratting on MacKenzie was a really good idea until they realized that they might end up getting in TROUBLE along with me.

  “So NOW you both think talking to Principal Winston might NOT be such a good idea after all? Then what am I supposed to do about Student Exchange Week?”

  “Well, Nikki, you can always try to look on the bright side,” Zoey offered.

  “There ISN’T a bright side!” I grumped.

  “Sure there is!” Zoey grinned. “You’ll finally know what it’s like to attend Hogwarts, but without the MAGIC classes!”

  “Yeah, and their school uniforms are classy, chic, and SUPERcute!!” Chloe giggled.

  I just rolled my eyes. Chloe and Zoey were no help WHATSOEVER!!

  If I’m really lucky, maybe I’ll find some NEW BFFs at North Hampton Hills!

  !!

  TUESDAY—4:15 P.M.

  AT MY LOCKER

  OMG! OMG! OMG!

  I CANNOT believe what just happened to me in French class today (which, BTW, I had during seventh period due to standardized testing)!!

  I’m so FREAKED OUT right now I can barely write this!

  My heart is POUNDING, and it feels like my head is about to EXPLODE!

  MUST. CALM. DOWN!!

  It all started when my French teacher, Monsieur Dupont, returned my report about the Louvre, the world-famous art museum located in Paris.

  It was seven typed pages and included several detailed illustrations that I’d personally drawn. I almost FAINTED when I saw my grade. . . .

  ME, SHOCKED AND SURPRISED THAT I GOT AN A+ ON MY REPORT!

  I know, right?

  But when my teacher asked me to stay after class because he wanted to talk to me about my report, I started to panic.

  What if he thought I had cheated on it by plagiarizing or something ?!

  I could understand why he might have been a little suspicious.

  I’m definitely NOT the best student in his class, and I have to work really hard just to get a B.

  But I actually ENJOYED writing my report!

  I was SUPERinspired and motivated because the topic was art, and I really LOVE art!

  Anyway, after class I went up to talk to my teacher.

  I was really nervous and my stomach felt queasy.

  But mostly I was praying I wouldn’t THROW UP all over his desk! . . .

  ME, TALKING TO MY TEACHER ABOUT MY REPORT?!

  Thank goodness THAT didn’t happen!

  Instead, I stood there clutching my report while my teacher raved about how impressed he was with my work. Then things got a little strange.

  “Nikki, I think you’d be PERFECT for an honors French program this summer. You’re such a talented artist, and the program’s focus is art history and French culture. Would you be interested in participating?”

  “Well, is it the ENTIRE summer?” I asked hesitantly. I did NOT want to attend summer school.

  “I think it’s about ten days in August. A group of students from area schools will be traveling to Paris to visit the Louvre and other historical landmarks!”

  That’s when I almost fainted.

  AGAIN!!

  “OMG! Did you just say a TRIP TO PARIS TO VISIT THE LOUVRE?!” I screeched excitedly. “YES! I’D LOVE TO GO TO PARIS!!”

  “Great! The only slight complication is that the all-expenses-paid trip is being sponsored by the foreign languages department at North Hampton Hills International Academy. So I need to contact them to get all the details. But I’d be happy to recommend you for the program.”

  Guess what?! I almost fainted a THIRD time when he mentioned North Hampton Hills!

  “Actually, Monsieur Dupont, I’m supposed to be attending North Hampton Hills next week as part of our Student Exchange Week!”

  “PERFECT! Then I’ll contact their for
eign languages department and arrange for you to follow up with them while you’re there visiting. I’ll also forward a copy of your report and artwork. I’m sure they will be as impressed as I am.”

  “Thank you SO much for considering me!” I gushed. “It’s such a wonderful opportunity!”

  Then I calmly walked out of the classroom and gleefully did my Snoopy “happy dance” all the way back to my locker. . . .

  ME, DOING MY SNOOPY “HAPPY DANCE”

  SQUEEEEEEEE !!

  I can’t believe I might actually be going to

  PARIS, FRANCE!! . . .

  . . . AS AN INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE STUDENT!

  So now I need to really impress the North Hampton Hills foreign languages department. They need to know that I’m smart, disciplined, dedicated, and an outstanding student.

  Well, okay. Maybe I’m NOT all of those things!

  But I AM interested in learning more about art history and French culture. And I’m nice, I’m friendly, and EVERYONE likes me.

  Well, okay. Maybe not EVERYONE. And by “not everyone,” I mean people like . . .

  MACKENZIE HOLLISTER !!

  Anyway, I can’t wait to tell Chloe and Zoey the wonderful news! They’re going to FREAK!!

  I thought my week at North Hampton Hills was going to be DOOM, GLOOM, and DREAD! But I was SO wrong!

  It’s going to be FANTASTIC!

  !!

  WEDNESDAY, MAY 7—5:30 P.M.

  AT HOME

  Chloe and Zoey were SUPERhappy for me when I told them the unbelievable news about Monsieur Dupont and the possible trip to Paris. Yesterday we talked on the phone and then texted each other until almost midnight.

  And today I received even MORE exciting news during lunch!

  It was a delivery confirmation e-mail that my North Hampton Hills SCHOOL UNIFORM had just been delivered to my house.

  SQUEEEEE !!

  I’ll just be borrowing the uniform for one week and then returning it to the school. But STILL ! Chloe, Zoey, and I were so excited.

  “I’ll text you photos as soon as I try it on!” I told them as we ate lunch.

  But they insisted on coming over to my house after school to hang out, and I agreed.

  As soon as Chloe and Zoey saw the box, they immediately started SPAZZING OUT. . . .

  They were acting like I was opening a birthday present or something.

  “Come on, guys!” I giggled. “CHILLAX! It’s just a uniform.”

  But OMG! My new uniform was . . .

  I have to admit, when I first saw MacKenzie in her uniform, I was SUPERimpressed.

  She looked SO smart and mature.

  And nothing at all like the shallow, lip-gloss-addicted DRAMA QUEEN that she really is.

  MacKenzie is going to be very shocked and surprised to see ME at HER school on Monday.

  But I plan to ignore her and stay focused.

  My major goal is to snag that trip to Paris!

  And absolutely NOTHING—not even MacKenzie Hollister—is going to stand in my way!

  I put on MY uniform and stood in front of the mirror with a huge smile plastered on my face.

  I thought it looked really sharp on me.

  And my BFFs totally agreed! . . .

  CHLOE AND ZOEY, ADMIRING MY CLASSY NHH SCHOOL UNIFORM

  Then I got an unexpected SURPRISE!

  My BFFs told me how proud they were of me and gave me a pink sparkly gift bag with the Eiffel Tower on it.

  Inside was a box of Godiva chocolates, an English-to-French translation book of common phrases (like “Where is the bathroom?”), and the newest issue of That’s So Hot! magazine.

  “Nikki, this mag has great tips on being an international exchange student! It’ll help you prepare for your trip!” Chloe explained.

  I thanked my BFFs for the gifts and for always being there for me. Then I gave them both a big hug.

  I’m already starting to miss them, and I haven’t even left for North Hampton Hills yet.

  Chloe and Zoey are the BEST. FRIENDS. EVER!! !

  THURSDAY, MAY 8—8:30 P.M.

  AT HOME

  I DREAD taking school photos! But tomorrow is picture day for everyone participating in Student Exchange Week.

  We have to report to the WCD library during first period to take photos for our student IDs, which we are required to have for the program.

  In geometry class my teacher was at the board figuring out a problem using the Pythagorean theorem.

  But I was at my desk trying to figure out a much more complex problem. WHAT was I going to wear in my photo?

  I pulled out my new That’s So Hot! magazine and placed it on top of my math book. I was flipping through the fashion section for ideas when I spotted an ad. . . .

  Hey, I wasn’t STUPID!

  Everyone knows the “before” and “after” photos in these types of ads are totally FAKE.

  Which also means Perfect 10 facial cream is probably FAKE.

  But the ad also said “Used by Teen Celebs for Beautiful Glowing Skin!”

  And if it’s good enough for THEM, then it’s good enough for ME!

  I was amazed to discover that not only is Perfect 10 pure and organic, but it’s made from fancy ingredients like honey, plain Greek yogurt, blueberry extract,

  grape-seed oil, figs, seaweed, moon dust, and spring water.

  OMG! I am DYING to try it!

  Although I am fine with my dorky cuteness, I would much rather be mistaken for a glam teen celeb by people at North Hampton Hills .

  The only problem was that Perfect 10 is $79!

  YIKES !!

  Sorry, but I was NOT about to let money stand in the way of achieving my dream!

  I decided to create my very OWN Perfect 10 facial cream! But my cheap knockoff is going to be made from ingredients my mom already has in her kitchen. And instead of costing $79, it’s basically FREE !

  Who knows, my very creative and ingenious idea might one day make me a BILLIONAIRE! . . .

  THE DORKY GIRL’S HOMEMADE FACIAL CREAM FOR GORGEOUS GLOWING SKIN

  WHAT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO NEED:

  Are you basically BROKE, with a life savings of $3.58 secretly hidden in your sock drawer?

  Is your mom adamantly REFUSING to give you $79 for Perfect 10 because she says she’d rather use the money to buy GROCERIES since your family can’t EAT facial cream for dinner?

  If you answered YES to either of these questions, then below is a list of the things you WON’T need.

  I’ve already crossed out EVERYTHING on this list FOR you!

  You’re WELCOME !!

  Honey, Greek yogurt (plain), blueberry extract, grape-seed oil, figs, seaweed, moon dust, and natural spring water.

  WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO NEED:

  To keep things simple and save money, you’ll be using ingredients you ALREADY have in your kitchen.

  INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR THE DORKY GIRL’S HOMEMADE FACIAL CREAM

  Instead of honey, use pancake syrup.

  Instead of plain Greek yogurt and blueberry extract, use Princess Sugar Plum Very Blueberry yogurt cups.

  Instead of grape-seed oil, use grape juice.

  Instead of figs, use fig snack cookie thingies.

  Instead of seaweed, use canned spinach.

  Instead of moon dust, use one package of Missy’s hot cocoa mix.

  Instead of spring water, use water from your kitchen faucet along with six ice cubes.

  DORKY GIRL’S 10 STEPS TO BEAUTY

  STEP 1: Sneak into the kitchen after your parents go to bed. Then they won’t be all up in your business and asking you STUPID questions, like “Are you going to PAY for all the food you’re wasting?”

  STEP 2: Dump three blueberry yogurts into a large mixing bowl and put the empty containers back in the fridge so no one will suspect that YOU stole used them .

  STEP 3: Stir in one cup of grape juice and a half cup of pancake syrup.

  STEP 4: Eat the crust off six fig snack cooki
e thingies and add the fig stuffing to the mixture in the bowl.

  STEP 5: Add in one teaspoon of cocoa mix and one tablespoon of canned spinach.

  STEP 6: Stir the mixture for three minutes and then let it sit for ten minutes. Be aware that it may attract flies, and shoo them away.

  STEP 7: Chillax and enjoy a cool, refreshing cup of ice water, because you’ve probably worked up a sweat and are pretty thirsty by now!

  STEP 8: Smear the homemade facial cream all over your face and let it dry. If there are any dead flies stuck to your face, remove them immediately for sanitary reasons.

  STEP 9: Store leftovers in a covered container in the fridge for six additional facials. Or pour contents into a blender and blend on high for sixty seconds for a delicious Very Blueberry smoothie.

  STEP 10: Go to bed and get plenty of beauty rest. When you wake up in the morning, remove your facial cream with warm water and a soft cloth.

  You will be AWESTRUCK by the BEAUTIFUL, GLOWING, and RADIANT reflection in your mirror!

  My miraculous homemade facial cream seems to be working, because my skin is tingling.

  I ALREADY look and feel more beautiful !!. . .

  MY HOMEMADE FACIAL CREAM!

  I can hardly wait to see the final results!

  SQUEEEEEE !!

  Now it’s time for ME to get some beauty rest.

  When Brandon sees me tomorrow, he’ll hopefully be so captivated by my magical, mystical, and miraculous BEAUTY that he’ll profess his undying LOVE for me.

  Or at least notice that my zits have cleared up!

  !!

  FRIDAY, MAY 9—NOON

  AT MY LOCKER

  As soon as my alarm clock went off this morning, I hopped out of bed, giddy with excitement! I couldn’t wait to see my beautiful, glowing, radiant skin.