Love's Illusion Read online

  Juliette shakes her head and looks at Selena. “I have a sense for these things. I can tell when a woman is in a relationship. For example, it is quite clear that you, Selena, are in desperate need of a man. Whereas Flo, gives off the aura of someone who has been enjoying the company of the opposite sex.” Juliette then turns her attention back to me. “Forgive me if I misspoke. I like to be direct. Is your lover tall? Muscular? The quiet brooding type? Or a skinny intellectual who likes to talk a lot?”

  “Umm…” Again, I’m not sure how to respond. “He’s tall,” I eventually say, as I picture Beowulf’s avatar. “And muscular,” I add. “Not much of a talker.”

  “It’s all about the sex, isn’t it?” asks Juliette playfully.

  “Kind of,” I admit with a shrug as I reflect on my relationship with Beowulf.

  “Is he back home?” asks Juliette.

  I shake my head. “He actually lives in Los Angeles. We met online.”

  “You should bring him over sometime,” Juliette says.

  I shrug. “Maybe. It’s sort of complicated,” I mumble.

  “Love and sex always are,” Juliette replies.

  “Men are too much work,” laments Selena. “Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.”

  “Women are just as complicated,” declares Juliette. “And you’re just saying that because you haven’t fucked in a while.”

  “It’s true,” Selena admits.

  “See, I have a sixth sense when it comes to these things.” Juliette smirks as she points to her head.

  Then, there’s a quiet moment in the conversation.

  “So, what do you do?” I ask Juliette.

  She shoots me a mischievous look. “You mean you haven’t heard me moaning and groaning from my room?”

  Selena laughs and mimics Juliette. “Oh, Roger. Yes, Roger. Roger, your cock is so big.”

  “He’s such a pig,” Juliette proclaims with a scowl. “With the tiniest cock. His poor wife.” Then she looks at me. “I’m sure Selena already told you I’m a webcam model. I make a ton of money getting guys to jerk off. The best part of my job is that I don’t have to touch any of them.”

  “So, you don’t mind doing that all day?” I ask her.

  Juliette shrugs.

  “It can get a little fastidieux. How do you say in English? Tedious. It can get a little tedious, at times. But the pay is good and I need the money. Jacques – my shit-head ex-boyfriend – really fucked up my future. Now, I have to get back on my feet. I refuse to go back to France as a loser. I won’t give Jacques the satisfaction. He’s such a terrible actor. How he got cast on a TV show, I don’t understand.”

  I nod, although I’m not sure why.

  “What’s your webcam name again?” asks Selena. She takes one more toke from the joint before passing it back to Juliette.

  “NaughtyFrenchGirl2020.”

  “That’s awesome,” Selena says with a stoned smile.

  Then Juliette stands up.

  “All this thinking of Jacques has put me in a bad mood.”

  “I’m sorry,” I reply. I don’t want to offend anyone. I want my roommates to like me.

  “Nonsense,” Juliette says with shake of her head. “Hold this. I want to take a dip.”

  She hands me the joint and then strips off her clothes. She stands before me completely naked. She has an incredible body. I look away, a little embarrassed. Juliette doesn’t notice and dives into the pool.

  “I’ll take that,” says Selena, reaching for the joint. I hand it to her.

  “So, how do you like LA so far?” Selena asks.

  “I like it,” I tell her. Then I add with a shrug, “Although, all I’ve done so far is work.”

  “I hear ya,” Selena says with a nod. “I’ve been driving all over this city from one DJ gig to the next. Can’t even enjoy the sunshine. Always hustling. Hey, you like EDM, right?”

  “I love it.”

  “Cool,” responds Selena. “I’ll send you some of my tracks.”

  “Great.”

  We turn and watch Juliette swim across the pool. I’m envious of her body. It’s so tight. There’s not an ounce of flab on her. Juliette swims to the edge of the pool and looks at me.

  “Why don’t you come in? The water feels amazing.”

  I’m about to tell Juliette that I didn’t bring my bathing suit. But then realize she’s naked, so that wouldn’t work as an excuse.

  “That’s okay, I’m fine. I’ll just watch the sunset from here.”

  Juliette shrugs and says, “Okay.” Then she turns around, resting her arms on the pool’s edge. All three of us admire the sunset quietly.

  “LA is a jungle. But a beautiful one,” Juliette comments.

  “Yeah,” Selena and I reply in unison.

  While we admire the view, Nash reappears from the kitchen, holding the plate of burgers. He walks over to the barbecue and begins grilling.

  “Thanks for handling the grill,” says Selena.

  Nash shrugs and simply responds, “No problem.”

  He works silently, not offering up any small talk. I sense a sadness coming from him. There’s something about a hot, moody guy that is sort of captivating.

  “Hey Nash, are any of your clients famous?” Juliette asks from the pool.

  Nash doesn’t look at her. He’s focused on the burgers sizzling on the grill.

  “Rich, not famous,” he mutters as he flips one of the burgers.

  “That’s too bad,” replies Juliette. “I’ve been in LA for three months now, and I still haven’t seen a famous person. So disappointing.”

  Nash continues grilling in silence. When he finishes, he places the cooked hamburgers on the table between Selena and I. Juliette jumps out of the pool, naked, and joins us. Nash doesn’t appear to notice that she’s nude, or at least he doesn’t seem to care.

  Maybe he’s gay, I wonder.

  After taking a bite from her hamburger, Selena declares, “Oh my gosh, this burger is awesome.”

  Juliette agrees after savoring her first bite. “C’est délicieux,” she states in French.

  As I sink my teeth into the burger, I’m immediately hit by a wave of delicious flavors. I’ve had many burgers in my day – probably too many if I’m being honest. But this burger ranks as one of the best.

  “What did you put on it?” asks Selena.

  Nash shrugs. “Just some stuff I found in the kitchen.” Then he changes the topic. “Do you guys mind if I do some quick laps?”

  We all shake our heads.

  “But aren’t you going to eat?” asks Selena.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  He strips off his t-shirt. As I take another bite from my delicious burger, I can’t help but admire Nash’s bare chest and ripped abs. He’s the fittest guy I’ve ever seen in person. Nash continues to strip down to his boxers and dives into the pool. He begins doing some vigorous laps. I marvel at the display of brute strength and power.

  He swims back and forth in the pool like a man on a mission. The three of us – Selena, Juliette, and myself – sit back, enjoy our burgers, and appreciate Nash’s display of masculine strength. After doing twenty laps at a ridiculous pace, Nash steps out of the pool and towels off. He takes the vacant seat beside me. As I watch him catch his breath, I feel a ripple of excitement run through my body. This guy is hot – gay or not gay.

  Nash then rubs his shoulder.

  “Does your shoulder bother you?” I ask him.

  Nash looks at me. I suddenly feel like I’m floating in the crystal-blue waves of his eyes.

  “All the time.”

  He gets up from the chair. He grabs a nearby towel and wraps it around his waist. Then he picks up his clothes. As he’s about to walk back into the house, he stops and turns to me.

  “Hey, I can’t drive you to work tomorrow morning. I’m no longer working with that client.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” I reply with a smile and shrug. “I wasn’t expecting a ride. Thanks for letting me know
.”

  Nash nods and walks inside.

  Once he’s gone, Juliette mutters, “So hot. But a bit of an asshole.” She enjoys another bite of her burger. I do the same.

  Chapter 13

  While she’s enjoying her hamburger – and the company of her roommates – Juliette receives a notification on her phone. Roger wants to have another session with her.

  “This guy has a serious addiction,” she complains out loud.

  Annoyed, Juliette retreats to her bedroom. When she gets there, she receives another notification. Now, Roger says he’s running fifteen minutes late.

  With time to kill, Juliette decides to watch a show on her laptop. Whenever the camera cuts to a certain actor – an attractive young man with short black hair – Juliette spews a litany of French curse words at the screen. The actor is her ex-boyfriend – Jacques. When he got cast in a reoccurring role on the show, he broke up with Juliette. This happened a month after she arrived from France to be with him. Jacques believed since he now had a full-time acting gig, he was a star and didn’t want to be tied down. He kicked Juliette out of his apartment.

  Juliette thinks her ex-boyfriend is a terrible actor. She doesn’t understand how he got the part playing a government agent thwarting a terrorist plot. It must be because of his looks. Her ex-boyfriend has a dark brooding appeal that could be considered handsome or terrorizing, depending on the lighting.

  When she told her girlfriends, from her small village in France, that she was moving to LA to be with Jacques, they were all insanely jealous. In high school, Juliette and Jacques were the most popular couple. After college, Jacques left for LA to find work as an actor. Juliette was supposed to go with him. But she stayed behind when her mom got sick. After two years, her mother started to feel better, and Juliette moved to LA to be with her boyfriend.

  That was three months ago. Everything was going great, or so Juliette thought. But then Jacques got cast in that TV show. Suddenly, everything turned upside down. Jacques surprised Juliette when he told her he didn’t want to be tied down any longer and kicked her out of his apartment. With no place to go, or any friends in the city, Juliette thought about returning home, to France. But she didn’t want to face her friends and family. She’s determined to make it in LA.

  Since she needed a cheap place to stay, she rented a room in Selena’s house. People back home insisted Juliette could be a model. Her girlfriends always envied her slender figure and short, bright-red hair. So when Jacques kicked her out of his apartment, Juliette searched for modeling work. Unfortunately, she kept losing gigs to taller women. Juliette is only 5’2”. And the competition for modeling work is fierce in LA. There are just so many insanely attractive women in this city.

  While Juliette continues watching the show on her laptop, she gets a message on her screen. Roger2349 is finally ready for his session. Juliette sighs and logs off the television show that she was watching. She accepts Roger’s invitation and tells him she will start webcamming in five minutes.

  She quickly walks to the mirror in her room and throws on some make up. She also puts on some sexy lingerie. When Juliette couldn’t find any work as a model, she began searching online for any kind of job. That’s when she noticed a posting for webcam girls. In desperate need of money, she signed up. She’s been working for a webcam company for over a month now.

  Juliette always knew men were horny. She just didn’t realize how horny. And Roger, one of her clients, is one of the horniest men she’s ever encountered. He webcams with her at least five times a week. His sessions – alone – cover her entire rent.

  Juliette quickly finishes getting ready. She props her laptop on her desk and confirms the camera captures a good angle of her bed. Then she makes sure her dildo is on the nightstand. Roger always likes it when she uses the dildo. After throwing some of her dirty clothes off her bed, Juliette checks to make sure everything is in the right place. She then presses a button on her laptop and waves toward the camera.

  “Hello, sexy.”

  Roger, a bald headed, overweight man who lives in New Jersey, smiles at her. Roger is married with three kids. Juliette doesn’t know how he finds the time to sneak away and do webcam sessions with her all the time. He usually webcams from his car, using his phone.

  “Gosh, Juliette, you look even more beautiful today than yesterday.”

  “Oh, Roger, you are so sweet. Are all Americans as charming as you?”

  Juliette can see Roger blushing. She knows one of the reasons she’s so popular as a webcam girl is because she speaks English with a heavy French accent – and she has red hair. These American men just love it when she says oh-là-là whenever they show her their cocks.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you, Juliette,” says Roger peering into his phone.

  “That’s good, sweetie, because I can’t stop thinking about you either,” Juliette lies. “And Roger, you know what happens when I think about you?”

  “What?” Roger asks eagerly.

  “I get all wet.” Juliette purrs as she leans forward, so Roger can get a nice shot of her cleavage.

  “Gosh, darn it, Juliette. You are one of a kind. One of a kind,” Roger exclaims.

  Juliette notices a store logo in Roger’s background. “Where are you, sweetie? Is that a shopping mall behind you?”

  Roger nods. “I just got off work. My wife asked me to buy her some tampons on the way home.”

  What a loser, Juliette thinks to herself. But she needs to give Roger the impression that he’s the most amazing man on the planet.

  “You’re such a good husband, Roger,” she lies again.

  Roger sheepishly shrugs. “I wish you would tell my wife that.”

  Juliette knows why Roger called. He wants a quickie before he goes home to his wife and kids. “Well, before you go home, why don’t I help you relax?”

  “That’s why I called, beautiful.” Roger winks at the camera.

  Juliette has to stop herself from physically cringing. The one good thing about being a webcam model is that you don’t have to actually be in the same room with your clients. She couldn’t stand the thought of someone like Roger touching her. “What do you want me to do for you?” she asks, as she always does. But Juliette already knows the answer.

  “Take off your panties and lay back on the bed,” Roger instructs. “Spread your legs.” He always asks her to do the same thing. He’s not very creative.

  Before following his instructions, Juliette turns around and gives him a nice shot of her petite ass. Roger lets out an appreciative groan. After dropping her panties, Juliette gets on the bed and spreads her legs. She begins stroking her clit. At the sight of her pussy, Roger gets more and more excited.

  “Do you want to see it?” he asks.

  Roger is so eager to show Juliette his cock that drops of sweat form on his bald head.

  “Roger, you know I always want to see that big cock of yours,” Juliette exagerates.

  Roger smiles and points his phone toward his crotch. He unzips his fly and yanks out his cock.

  “Oh-là-là,” Juliette pronounces on cue. She raises her hand to her cheek – in awe – for added effect.

  Roger glances at his cock. He’s very pleased with himself.

  Even though she knows it’s just a job, Juliette feels bad for Roger’s wife. Her husband has such a small penis, and he’s obviously a piece of shit for cheating on her. When she first started webcamming, Juliette felt guilty knowing some of her clients were married. But a girl needs to eat, and Juliette has always been very free when it comes to her sexuality. So in order to stay in LA, she did what she had to do. Plus, there’s a lot of money in webcamming, and there’s apparently no shortage of clients.

  After she fakes having an orgasm for Roger, and he successfully jerks off in his car, she ends her session with him. Juliette knows Roger will probably call her again in the next two days. He usually can’t go more than a day without talking to her.

  In order to get her m
ind off work, Juliette grabs her laptop and continues watching her ex-boyfriend’s show. As usual, whenever his face appears on the screen, she curses at him in French.

  Chapter 14

  The day after the barbecue, Selena heads up to Santa Barbara to DJ at an upscale wedding. She hates spinning music for weddings. But right now, she needs whatever money she can get.

  As she looks out at the crowd of wealthy adults, she leans in and speaks into her microphone. “Now, let us take a moment and invite the best man, Matt, to give his speech.”

  People begin clapping. Selena watches as a handsome, clean cut man in his late twenties – who looks like he came straight out of a J. Crew catalogue – gets up from the wedding table and approaches her. He stares at her with a friendly smile and takes the mic.

  “Thanks.”

  Matt turns and addresses the audience. As he speaks, Selena’s mind wanders. She needs to catch a real break soon. She can’t stand DJ’ing weddings and birthday parties. But unfortunately, the small clubs she plays in LA don’t pay enough for her to survive. Her friend, DJ Stop & Frisk – out in Brooklyn – is organizing a tour next summer and asked Selena if she wanted to join him as his opening act. She would have to pay her own way, though. Selena recognizes the tour could provide her with much needed exposure. That’s why she decided to rent out the rooms in her uncle’s house. Since she’s tight on money, the rent income could finance her travels. She just hopes her uncle doesn’t catch on to what she’s doing. But if you want to chase your dream, you have to take some risks. Right? she convinces herself.

  Selena catches Matt approaching with the mic. He’s finished his speech. She was so lost in her thoughts; she didn’t listen to a word of it.

  “Thanks.”

  Selena smiles. Then she speaks into the mic.

  “Now, why don’t you all get out onto the dance floor and enjoy this next song by Beyoncé.”

  Selena throws on a Beyoncé track. She has just enough time to sneak out for a vape.

  She steps outside, onto the patio overlooking the golf course where the wedding is being held. She spots the moon shining in the quiet, night sky and turns on her vape pen. She takes a long, deep puff.