A Furry Fiasco Read online

  For Jennifer Weltz

  PROLOGUE

  Ding-dong!

  Ding-dong!

  Our doorbell is always ringing.

  Ding-dong!

  Welcome to Animal Inn. My name is Leopold Augustus Gonzalo Tyler. I am a scarlet macaw.

  No, I am not the loopy bird you see on that breakfast cereal box. That is a toucan. I am a macaw. Macaws are intelligent and dignified creatures. Toucans are clumsy and make a racket.

  Our family began with Mom, Dad, me, and our Tibetan terrier, Dash. I suppose I should also mention their human sons, Jake and Ethan.

  Five years ago Cassie was born. She’s a human girl.

  Four years ago we adopted Coco, a chocolate Labrador retriever.

  Three years ago Shadow and Whiskers showed up at our door. They are sister and brother cats.

  And one year ago Jake and Ethan won Fuzzy and Furry at the school fair. They are a pair of very adventurous gerbils.

  We used to live in an apartment in the city. But when kid number three and dog number two joined the family, Mom and Dad bought this old house in the country.

  Animal Inn is one part hotel, one part school, and one part spa. As our brochure says, We promise to love your pet as much as you do.

  Ding-dong!

  Would someone please answer the door?

  It could be a Pekinese here for a pedicure. A Siamese for a short stay. Or a llama for a long stay. We’ve even had an otter sign up for swim lessons. It’s no wonder the doorbell is always ringing.

  On the first floor of Animal Inn, we have the Welcome Area, the office, the classroom, the party and play room, and the grooming room.

  Our family, the Tyler family, lives on the second floor. This includes Fuzzy and Furry locked in their gerbiltorium in Jake and Ethan’s room. (More about this later.)

  The third floor is for smaller animals. Any guest who needs an aquarium, a terrarium, or a solarium stays on the third floor.

  Ding-dong!

  Where is everybody?

  Maybe they’re out in the barn and kennels. That’s where the larger animals stay.

  Here at Animal Inn we can provide just about any habitat a guest might need. Hot, cold, wet, dry, forest, desert. We’ve got it all.

  “Habitat” is just a fancy word for “home.” We recently added a new habitat. The first guest to stay there caused quite a stir.

  Let me tell you what happened a few weeks ago. . . .

  CHAPTER

  1

  It began like any other Saturday morning.

  Saturday is a busy day at Animal Inn. Mom teaches her Polite Puppies class. Dad and Jake host the Furry Pages. That’s when children read aloud to an animal buddy. And there are grooming appointments and usually a birthday party or two.

  On this Saturday morning I was on my perch in the Welcome Area. Dad was tidying up the brochures. Mom was talking on the phone to an old friend from her dog show days.

  Suddenly I heard Jake holler from upstairs. “Where could they be?”

  “I don’t know,” shouted Ethan. “They were in the gerbiltorium a minute ago.”

  Fiddlesticks. Fuzzy and Furry must have escaped again.

  Fuzzy and Furry are experts at picking the lock on their gerbiltorium. They usually escape at night, when guests are safely tucked into their cages, crates, tanks, and stalls.

  I was a bit worried that Fuzzy and Furry might run into the new guest on the third floor—a boa constrictor named Copernicus.

  “Ethan!” Jake shouted. “Start looking!”

  “Stop telling me what to do!” Ethan shouted.

  “Ethan! Start looking!” Jake shouted again.

  “You’re not the boss of me!” Ethan shouted back.

  Mom rushed up the stairs. Luckily, the gerbils had not bumped into Copernicus. They were found in Jake and Ethan’s laundry hamper, fast asleep.

  A few minutes later Cassie came downstairs, followed by Coco.

  “Princess Coco,” Cassie said, “let’s go look for fairies.”

  “Just have Coco back in time for Furry Pages,” said Dad. “And careful not to let Shadow out.”

  Shadow is supposed to be an indoor cat, but she loves to sneak outside. Cassie and Coco are her best chance for a little adventure.

  “Dad,” Cassie said. “We are princesses. I am Princess Cassie, and this is Princess Coco.”

  “My apologies,” Dad said, and smiled. He bowed to them. “I’ll be in the basement if you need me.”

  “I can’t believe it!” Cassie whispered to Coco as soon as Dad left. “I just can’t believe it!”

  I perked up my ears.  Yes, I do have ears. They’re hidden under my feathers.

  What was it that Cassie found so unbelievable?

  Like many other five-year-old humans, she can get very excited. “I can’t believe it!” is one of her favorite things to say.

  Pizza for dinner? I can’t believe it!

  That hermit crab’s name is Banjo? I can’t believe it!

  Coco gave a tremendous shake. Luckily, one of Jake’s Saturday chores is sweeping up the Welcome Area.  And after any shake by Coco, the Welcome Area can use a good sweep.

  “I can’t believe it,” Cassie said again, and giggled. She headed back upstairs. Coco started to follow.

  “Ahem.” I cleared my throat.

  Coco got the message. She stopped in front of my perch.

  “What is going on?” I whispered.

  “So . . . ,” Coco started, “Mom was on the phone. Then the gerbils got lost. Then Ethan got mad at Jake for being bossy. Then the gerbils got found. Then Cassie and I were princesses. Then we—”

  “Not that,” I interrupted. “What is it that Cassie can’t believe?”

  “Oh,” said Coco. “Cassie can’t believe a lot of things. She can’t believe it’s almost September. She can’t believe it might rain today. She can’t believe there’s mac-and-cheese for lunch. I love mac-and-cheese. Do you like mac-and-cheese, Leopold?”

  I knew it had been a mistake to start a conversation with Coco. “No,” I said. “Macaws do not like mac-and-cheese.”

  “Really?” Coco gasped. “Mac-and-cheese is my favorite. I always hang out under the table on mac-and-cheese day. Cassie has trouble fitting all those little noodles onto her fork. Some fall onto the floor.  Yummy!” Coco licked her lips.

  This conversation was getting me nowhere. “Never mind,” I said.

  Coco started for the stairs. “By the way,” she said over her shoulder, “did you hear about the wizard who’s coming? Cassie can’t believe that either.”

  CHAPTER

  2

  It wasn’t long before Whiskers scurried down the stairs.

  “This is Animal Inn,” he said worriedly.  “A wizard is not an animal.”

  Hmm. Here was another pet talking about a wizard. “What are you fretting about?” I asked.

  “Haven’t you heard? A new guest is coming.” Whiskers gulped. “It’s a wizard!”

  “Did you say ‘wizard’?” Shadow asked, popping out from behind the sofa. “That’s so cool!”

  “I don’t think it’s cool,” said Whiskers. “What if the wizard casts a spell on us? What if it turns us into houseflies or . . . slugs?”

  “That would be awesome!” said Shadow.

  “No, it wouldn’t,”  Whiskers replied, trembling.

  “Little Brother,” said Shadow, “don’t be such a scaredy-cat.”

  Ding-dong!

  “The wizard is here!” Whiskers screeched. He jumped straight into the air with his fur raised on end.

  Shadow snuck back behind the sofa.

  Mom and Cassie came downstairs to answer the door. I raised one wing to tell Mom that,
yes, Shadow was hiding behind the sofa.

  “Thank you, Leopold,” she said.

  “Thank you, Leopold,” I repeated.

  Mom smiled. It makes Mom smile when she thanks me and then I thank myself. And I love to see Mom smile. She opened the door.

  To my surprise it really was . . .

  Not a wizard. It was a puppy.

  The puppy was having a birthday party after Polite Puppies class. His family had arrived early to decorate the room with balloons and streamers.

  Mom let them in and quickly closed the door. Then she and Cassie led the birthday pup and his family to the party room.

  “Good morning, Shadow,” Mom called as she passed by the sofa.

  “Okay, wise guys,” Shadow huffed at us. “Who told her I was hiding here?”

  “Let’s focus,” I said. “When is this wizard supposed to arrive?”

  “Soon,” said a voice from the stairs. It was Dash.

  It’s one thing to hear something from goofy Coco or nervous Whiskers. But when Dash says something, it’s usually true. He and I have been with the Tylers the longest. He’s been their pet even longer than I have.

  “This is terrible,” Whiskers whimpered.

  “We’ll be fine,” said Dash calmly. “We just need a plan.”

  “I’ve got it,” said Whiskers. “I’ll distract the wizard with a yowl. Leopold, you snatch his wand and fly it to Dash. Dash, you run and bury the wand in the backyard. No more magic.”

  “But what if the wizard doesn’t use a wand?” Shadow asked. “What if he uses only magic words, such as ‘hocus-pocus’?”

  “Or ‘presto,’ ” said Dash.

  “Or ‘abracadabra,’ ” I added.

  Just then Jake and Ethan came downstairs.

  Dash sat.

  Shadow hid.

  Whiskers pretended to sleep on the sofa.

  And I squawked, “Abracadabra! Abracadabra!”

  “That’s a new one, Leopold,” said Ethan. He went to join Mom and Cassie for Polite Puppies.

  “Come on, Dash. Come on, Leopold,” said Jake. “It’s time for us to get ready for Furry Pages.”

  “Listen,” Dash whispered to me on the way to the classroom. “I’m telling only you this. I don’t want to get the others all worked up.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I overheard the boys talking. The wizard is not the guest,” Dash said. “The wizard is the owner.”

  “The owner of what?” I asked. “An owl? A bat?”

  “No,” whispered Dash. “A dragon.”

  CHAPTER

  3

  “Maybe they were talking about a make-believe dragon,” I said.

  “I don’t think so,” whispered Dash. “I heard Dad say we need an extra fire extinguisher. And you know what kind of animal breathes fire.”

  “Fiddlesticks,” I said. “This isn’t good.”

  As the children arrived, they arranged their carpet squares on the floor. Jake passed out books to the children who were already sitting.

  “We really need a plan,” said Dash. “First step, we need information.”

  “Good morning, everyone,” Jake announced. “Welcome to Furry Pages.”

  Dad hurried into the classroom. “Sorry I’m late,” he said.

  “We’ll have to talk more later,” Dash whispered. He headed to an empty carpet square.

  Today’s books were from the Henry and Mudge series. Henry is a small boy. Mudge is his big dog.

  Everybody wanted to sit with Dash. He let himself be patted and pet as the children read.  You would never know that he had dangerous dragons and wizards on his mind. Maybe the stories were helping him forget.

  I made my best attempt to bark like a dog. A young boy with a runny nose and a determined look came over. He had a copy of Henry and Mudge and the Happy Cat.

  The story is about a stray cat that shows up at Henry and Mudge’s door.  The book took me back to the day when Shadow and Whiskers showed up on our doorstep.

  “And speaking of big, lovable dogs,” Jake announced. “Here’s Coco.”

  Coco lumbered into the room.

  “Better late than never,” I squawked out loud. Everybody laughed.

  Coco is never on time. And she can never sit still. Furry Pages is a challenge for her. She usually comes late, leaves early, and naps in between.

  Coco flopped down onto an empty carpet square. A couple of the kids who had been reading with Dash moved over to her. Within a few minutes I could hear her softly snoring. Well, I guess that is the sign of a good bedtime story.

  While the kids read, the parents chatted quietly. Jake passed out people snacks and dog snacks, too. He helped children sound out difficult words.

  I couldn’t understand how Jake could be so calm. Wasn’t he nervous about the new guest?

  “Was that the doorbell?” Dad asked. He seemed nervous.

  “I didn’t hear anything,” said Jake.

  Dad pulled a crumpled to-do list from his back pocket. He checked it. He checked his watch. He checked the clock on the wall. He checked his list again. He checked—

  Ding-dong!

  Dad jumped.

  “That’s definitely the doorbell,” he said. “Jake, you’re in charge. It must be the supplies for you-know-who!”

  I looked at Dash. Dash looked at me.

  “I hope I didn’t forget anything,” said Dad, checking his list again. “Fire Chief Morales will be here this afternoon to inspect the basement.”

  Basement?  What was happening in the basement?

  “Relax, Dad,” Jake said, and smiled.

  Relax? I thought. Was this really a time to relax?

  “We need to be extra safe,” said Dad. “We need to make sure everything meets fire code.”

  “I know,” said Jake. “But what are the chances that our new guest is actually going to breathe fire?”

  A guest that breathes fire?

  Gulp.

  CHAPTER

  4

  After Furry Pages, I flew back to the Welcome Area. My mind was fluttering faster than my wings. I could barely hear myself think.

  Yip! Yip! Yap! Yap! Yap!

  Puppies, puppies, and even more puppies were arriving for the birthday party.

  Yap! Yap!

  Mom, Ethan, and Cassie were doing their best to guide the guests into the party room.

  I settled on my perch. When I looked down, one of the puppies was gnawing on my wooden post.

  “Young fellow,” I said, “would you please stop?”

  The gnawing continued. I let out a loud squawk. That did the trick. The puppy ran off to join the others.

  Whiskers jumped down from his spot on the sofa. “What are we going to do, Leopold?” he asked nervously.

  “Dash and I are working on a plan,” I assured him.

  Whiskers buried his head in his paws. “Let’s just hide,” he said.

  “Why hide?” said Shadow, popping out from behind the sofa. “This place could use some real excitement.”

  At the moment it seemed plenty exciting to me. A puppy party is a noisy party. I looked over to the party room. Mom was fixing some streamers that had fallen down. Ethan was organizing a game.

  When Cassie wasn’t hugging the party guests, they were tearing around the room. They sniffed and investigated everything—the treats table, the presents table, the box of supplies for Pin the Tail on the Kitty. They looked like a pack of very small, four-legged detectives.

  Detectives! That was what we needed.

  Dash came into the Welcome Area from Furry Pages after the last child had left.

  “I know who can help us gather information,” I said excitedly. “Follow me to the gerbiltorium!”

  Dash and I raced up the stairs. We went straight to Jake and Ethan’s room. The coast was clear.

  “Hi, Dash,” said Fuzzy.

  “Hi, Leopold,” added Furry. “What’s up?”

  “We’ve got a job for you,” I said. “Bu
t it could be dangerous.”

  “ ‘Danger’ is our middle name,” said Fuzzy. He was crunching on a piece of celery.

  “What’s in it for us?” added Furry.

  “Two dog biscuits,” said Dash.

  “They need to be whole,” said Fuzzy.

  “No crumbs,” added Furry.

  “Deal,” said Dash.

  “You won’t be disappointed,” said Fuzzy.

  “We’re the best in the business,” added Furry.

  “But you don’t even know what the job is yet,” I said.

  “Doesn’t matter,” said Fuzzy. “ ‘Danger’ is our first name.”

  “I thought ‘Danger’ was your middle name,” Dash said.

  “Well, actually, ‘Danger’ is our last name,” said Furry.

  “It is?” said Fuzzy. “I thought our last name was ‘Tyler.’ ”

  “Guys,” said Dash, “let’s focus. We need you to sneak down to the basement. Then report back to us. Tell us everything you see and hear.”

  “We’re depending on you,” I said. “This can’t fail.”

  “ ‘Can’t fail’ is our middle name,” said Fuzzy.

  “We have lots of middle names,” added Furry.

  “My full name,” Fuzzy said, “is actually Fuzzy Danger Can’t Fail Tyler.”

  “See, Leopold. You’re not the only one with a long, fancy name,” added Furry.

  They both giggled and began to pick the lock on the gerbiltorium.

  CHAPTER

  5

  Dash and I made our way downstairs. Whiskers was back on the sofa. He looked even more worried than before.

  The front door was wide open, and there was a truck in the driveway. Dad was helping a delivery person unload boxes onto a dolly.  There was a light rain, so the boxes were covered with a tarp.

  “That’s strange,” said Dash. “We don’t usually get deliveries on Saturday.”

  “What do you think it is?” I asked.

  Shadow slunk out from behind the sofa. “Only one way to find out,” she said. She started for the open door.