Maddy's Phoenix Read online

  Table of Contents

  MADDY’S PHOENIX

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  EPILOGUE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  MADDY’S PHOENIX

  by

  Patricia Yager Delagrange

  Copyright © Patricia Yager Delagrange 2017

  Cover Copyright © 2017

  Published by Sly Fox

  (An Imprint of Ravenswood Publishing)

  Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher and/or author.

  Ravenswood Publishing

  1275 Baptist Chapel Rd.

  Autryville, NC 28318

  http://www.ravenswoodpublishing.com

  Printed in the U.S.A.

  ISBN-13: 978-0692875452

  ISBN-10: 069287545X

  I dedicate this book to my family – James, Dylan, Allessandra, and to Annabella, Jack, Shay D, Lucifer, and Maximus – my furry family. Without the eight of you, my life would not be the same. I love you all.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Maddy wrapped her fingers around the wooden handle of the shovel and jabbed the blade into the hard, rocky ground. She leaned forward, the shovel holding the weight of her limp body.

  What had she ever done that was so bad to merit another child taken from her? Mark left her months ago. A blessing in disguise. What child needed a jobless, homeless, high school drop-out for a daddy anyway?

  She stood up straight and her abdominal muscles cramped. Inhaling through her nose, she waited for the pain to pass. She could do this. She would do this.

  Eyes closed, Maddy turned her face to the sky. “Why?” Tears flowed down her cheeks, puddling along the edge of her scoop-neck T-shirt. “Why’d you take her from me?”

  She walked to the farthest corner of the property where a gigantic oak tree shaded the creeping charlie and dandelions. How she loved to sit there in the summer, her escape from the heat. And the view of the Russian River rekindled her spirit.

  She paused, swiped her forehead with the back of her hand, then dug deeper into the tightly-packed soil. Sweat dribbled from her armpits, soaking the sides of her shirt. When the hole appeared deep enough, she tossed the shovel aside and walked to the back door, through the kitchen to her bedroom, and picked up the swaddled body of her dead child with one hand and the pink hat box in the other.

  Dead three months before her due date. So unfair.

  Maddy reached the side of the homemade grave and knelt at the edge. The hat box, once the receptacle of all the letters she'd never sent her momma, was the necessary size. She set the box on the grass and cradled her baby against her chest one last time before placing a gentle kiss on her ice-cold forehead.

  “We would have made a great pair, little one.” A lone tear dropped onto her baby’s cheek and Maddy dabbed it away with the edge of the pink blanket. The blanket she’d crocheted months ago in anticipation of her child’s birth. “I’ll miss you forever, Monica.” She smiled through her tears. “Maddy and Monica. I thought that sounded so cool. Whatever comes next, I do in memory of you, baby.”

  The hat box fit perfectly in the hole, its four sides nestled against the sides of the grave. Moments later, she’d filled the hole with dirt and patted it down with the back of the shovel.

  “Now I’ll always know where you are.” She wiped at her eyes with her fingertips. “Last time this happened, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.”

  Easing her backside to the ground and crossing her legs, she stared at the orange and pink colors of twilight. So beautiful. But the glow did nothing to soften the harshness of Maddy’s grief.

  When the last speck of light dwindled and the chilling darkness enveloped her, she pushed herself up and stood, wobbling when dizziness invaded her head. After blinking away the stars in her vision, she plodded slowly to the back door, shut it behind her and dragged her body to the bathroom. A long soak in the claw-foot bathtub would beckon sleep. And her soft bed and down pillows promised to drown out the relentless depression. Then she would give in to the unconsciousness of night slumber.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “Hey, Maddy, what’re you doin’ here so early? It’s only six in the mornin’.” A cold breeze surged through the cafe and swayed Cheryl’s dyed red ponytail as she slammed the front door. “Man, it’s windy out there.”

  Maddy yanked the wool beanie off her head. “Robert said I could get more hours if I come in and mop the floors.”

  “Well, ain’t he nice.”

  “What's with the sarcasm?”

  “I’ve asked him for overtime hours. He always tells me there ain’t no extra money.” Cheryl shrugged. “He likes you, Maddy. He knows you’re young and strugglin’ to make it.”

  Maddy grabbed the mop and bucket next to the kitchen and swung the wet strings side to side along the baseboard under the lunch counter. “Robert has a good heart. He’s a little odd, I’ll give you that. He just loves the smell of grease and cigarettes. Which makes me want to puke my guts out.”

  “‘Cause you’re pregnant, hon.”

  Maddy ignored the comment. “I hate the truckers more than the smells. They’re the worst thing about working here.”

  Cheryl chuckled. “Ah, they ain’t so bad once you get to know ‘em. But you’re way younger than me, darlin’. They sure as heck ain’t gonna look at me the same as you.” She reached out to grab the mop out of Maddy’s hands. “You shouldn’t be doin’ stuff like this. You only got, what, two or three months left before you spit out that cute little kid a’ yours?”

  Maddy held the mop out of Cheryl's reach. A hot flush crawled up her neck to her cheeks. She didn’t want to think about her dead baby. She didn’t want to think about anything. Going home and sleeping was all she could think about. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry. I need the extra money, Cheryl. As soon as I can afford to move, I want out of Monte Rio.”

  Cheryl stopped directly in front of her, frowning. “Well, this is the first time
I ever heard you say that, Missy.”

  “I didn’t want you to take it personally. Like my wanting to leave has anything to do with you, you know? Because it doesn’t.”

  “Here, lemme do it, hon. I won’t tell Robert you didn’t do the moppin’, so you’ll still get the overtime. But I’m tellin’ you, if you don’t wanna lose this baby like the last time, you gotta take care of yourself.”

  Maddy let out an exaggerated sigh and handed the mop to her friend. She held back the tears and wiped down the tables until every speck of grease and dirt vanished, as if her life depended on it. Well, actually it did. She had a plan. And she needed money to make it happen.

  “Why’re you so fired up to leave here, anyways? I thought you liked livin’ here. Monte Rio's a nice little town."

  “Well, for one, eleven hundred people is too small. Everybody knows your business.” And when it finally came out she’d miscarried again, every remark and comment would crawl through Maddy’s psyche like a worm in an overripe apple.

  Cheryl dumped the mop in the bucket and let out a whoosh of breath. “Not that much to know 'bout people in this small place, hon."

  “If I stay, I'll never make anything of myself. Just like Momma.”

  “You don’t wanna be a low-paid waitress for the rest of your natural born life?” Cheryl chuckled. “I get it. Never thought I'd be sixty-five years old, still workin' at the Monte Rio Cafe, that’s for sure.”

  Maddy put her arms around Cheryl and squeezed her as tight as she could.

  Cheryl laughed out loud. "What's this for?"

  Maddy leaned back, grasping Cheryl's shoulders. "I'm sorry for saying that, about not making anything of myself. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. That’s exactly why I didn’t mention leaving before now.”

  Cheryl looked her in the eyes. "You're young. Time's on your side. They say you gotta strike while the iron's hot, right?”

  Maddy smiled at her friend’s old-fashioned expression—one of many—and gave her another quick hug. "Watch out, Bay Area, Maddy McCray is on her way."

  Cheryl’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you really goin’ to San Francisco?”

  “Somewhere in the Bay Area. I’m not exactly sure which city yet.”

  “Wooh, doggie. I like the sound a’ that, darlin’.”

  “Nothing's going to hold me back.” What would happen if people found out she’d just buried her dead baby in the back yard? That could keep her from realizing her dream. She couldn’t let that happen, so she’d better keep her mouth shut.

  “What’re you plannin' on doin’ there?”

  She plopped down on the nearest chair. “I want to be a nurse. And I can't do that if I stay here.” She looked down at her tightly-clasped hands. “I’ll prove that I’m better than any of those things Momma said about me. What my two babies’ daddies said about me, too.”

  Cheryl knelt down in front of her young friend and covered Maddy’s hands with her own. “Of course you are, hon. You’re smarter than anybody I know.”

  Maddy blinked back the tears and smiled. “Thanks for saying that.”

  Cheryl stood and grabbed the nearest plastic-coated menu, wiped it with a sponge. "If anyone can do it, it’s you. You been workin’ here since you were a teenager, just like me.”

  “My tip jar is filled to the top with bills and coins. I’m getting close to being able to afford the move.”

  Cheryl patted Maddy on the back. “I’m proud of you, Maddy.”

  “That means a lot to me.”

  “If I were your momma, I’d be yellin’ at the rooftops, ‘My daughter’s gonna be a nurse’.”

  “I wish you were my momma.”

  Cheryl shook her head. “Now, don’t be sayin’ stuff like that. Your momma wasn’t all bad.”

  Maddy’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What kind of person leaves their teenage daughter and runs off with her low-life boyfriend in the middle of the night?”

  Cheryl scrunched up her mouth like she’d just sucked on a lemon. “Your momma had no guts when it came to a man bein’ interested in her.”

  Maddy rolled her eyes. “You think? Every boyfriend she had meant more to her than I ever did.”

  “She loved you in her own way.”

  “Pretty sick way to show her love, leaving me all alone to fend for myself.”

  “Let’s not talk ‘bout this anymore, okay? It ain’t good for the baby, gettin’ upset and all.”

  Maddy walked to the front door of the cafe, unlocked it and turned the sign around to Open. “A big eighteen-wheeler just pulled up in front.” She turned to Cheryl and waggled her eyebrows. “You better put on your high heels and lipstick. This dude looks like just your type.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Maddy could hardly stand up straight by the time her shift ended. Her back hurt. Her legs hurt. Her stomach muscles hurt. Her arms hurt. What did she expect? She’d had a miscarriage three days ago.

  She tore the apron off, threw it in the dirty clothes hamper and let out a huge breath. “See you Sunday.” She waved goodbye to Cheryl and slogged through the kitchen. “Later, Robert.”

  She’d taken another step in the right direction for her escape. A twelve-hour shift and tips that had been more than generous. Probably due to the fact the holidays were coming up, which put people in a more giving mood.

  Tomorrow was Saturday, her one day off, and she planned on sleeping in before going to the library to do research on jobs in the San Francisco Bay Area.

  Her bicycle stood outside at the back of the restaurant where she’d shoved it next to the big green dumpster. She twisted the dial on the combination lock. A muffled squeak sounded from the dumpster, and Maddy jerked backward and smashed her butt on the cold ground.

  “What the heck?” She sat still and closed her eyes, listening. Another squeak! She stood, brushed the dirt off her backside, and shuffled backward, cocking her head. The peeping sound was definitely coming from the big green garbage bin. God, she hated mice. Though it didn’t actually sound like any mouse she’d ever encountered.

  She tip-toed to the side of the bin. There! A whimper. Should she ask for Robert’s help? Nah. He’d just say she was “making something out of nothing,” his favorite phrase whenever anyone complained about anything. He’d say he was too busy frying meat or smoking a cigarette to help her anyway, so why bother asking?

  She grabbed the lid of the bin and tossed it backward. It clattered against the wall and she stumbled, nearly falling to the ground again. She peered ever so slowly over the edge, and the sickening stench of garbage wafted into her face. Instantly she pulled back, covering her nose with her hand.

  Another whimper emanated from deep inside the bin. “Oh, my goodness. Is it a puppy?” She couldn’t take care of a puppy. Not when she planned to leave soon.

  “God help me,” she whispered, as she snuck a second glance over the edge. Rotten meat, snotty tissues, chicken bones, moldy bread. She gagged and turned her head to the side, took a deep breath through her mouth. As soon as her stomach stopped pitching and her heart quit thundering against her ribcage, she poked her head over the edge of the bin again, searching for something, anything alive.

  A pink doll’s hand stuck out from underneath a soiled paper towel. Just like her childhood doll she’d kept that lay at the top of her bed. The tiny fingers of the doll wiggled. “Oh, my dear God.” Maybe it was a doll. They made dolls that moved and cried. Even pooped. Maybe some kid left it in a booth, and Robert had thrown it away.

  It moved again. A tiny cry came from underneath a half-eaten corn cob on top of a large piece of lettuce. Hesitantly, Maddy touched one of the fingers. Warm. She yanked her hand back and swallowed.

  A baby in the dumpster? “Please don’t let this be happening.”

  She looked up and down the alley, making sure she was alone, heart thumping madly. She delicately lifted the piece of lettuce. The corn cob rolled to the side, revealing an infant in the middle of the waste. She gasped, staring. “Oh, you
sweet little thing.” She picked up the child and cradled her in the crook of her arm. Maddy untied the sweater encircling her waist and wrapped it around the baby. “You’re the prettiest baby girl in the world,” she whispered.

  The baby stared at Maddy with wide eyes. Not whimpering or crying. Not making any sound at all.

  She couldn’t take her eyes off the infant. “Who did this to you, honey?”

  Maddy’s future hung like a boulder on the precipice of a gigantic mountain. Should she bring the baby to the police station, the fire station, inside the restaurant? A heavy brick lay on her chest. She took a deep, cleansing breath through her nose and blew it out slowly through her mouth. She had to calm down. What should she do now?

  Whoa, whoa. Wait! Someone didn’t want this gorgeous, precious gift? “How could anyone throw you away? What is wrong with people these days?” She paused, blinked several times. “Whoever threw you away isn’t fit to raise a child, that’s for sure.” She shook her head. “But I am.”

  Maddy slipped her finger between the baby’s clenched fingers. “I’ll be the best momma ever, I promise. And I’ll never, ever leave you.”

  She placed the infant in the basket of her bicycle and pedaled as fast as her legs could go, block after block, zooming past houses, trees, and the occasional car, along the backroads to her cabin on the Russian River. Tears whipped into her hairline, and she smiled up at the moon, feeling as if she were in the movie E.T.

  “I’m taking you home, little sweetheart.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Maddy glided her bike down the short grade to the front of the cabin and carefully lifted the baby out of the basket. After fumbling for the keys in her rear pocket, she opened the door, trying not to make any loud sounds that might wake up the child.

  Once inside, she flipped the light switch, igniting the glow of the faux Tiffany lamp next to the tattered brown couch she’d found by the side of the road on her way to work years ago. She sat on the edge of the couch and laid the child on top of her legs, the neck of her sweater forming a halo around the baby’s head. “You look just like the baby Jesus with my sweater wrapped around you like that.” She chuckled. “Does that make me the Virgin Mary?”