The Queen of Diamonds Read online

  The summer afternoon sun streamed orange onto the far wall of the cathedral while Ma and Marja cooked. Josie, Ottilie, Poignee, Treysa and Joe sat with me, playing dice on the floor.

  Grief swelled inside my chest. "I had nothing to do with Ottilie's death."

  "I know," Marja whispered. She let go and stood before me, squeezing her eyes shut. "They was shot in the head and thrown in the Pot like trash." She glanced up at me. "Did you know?"

  I shook my head, horrified.

  She stared into emptiness. "Leave the city. It's not safe."

  "Why? What's going on?"

  She glanced around. "Not here."

  "Marja!" Josie's voice from the top of the stairs startled me. "Jacqui is Mrs. Spadros now. She doesn't have time to speak with servants. Mr. Kerr is going to have something to say about this."

  Marja cringed. "Yes, mum. My apologies, mum."

  I went up the brown wooden stairs. "Josie, don't blame her. Her daughter just died. I was bringing condolences."

  "You're too kind," Josie said, but she sounded annoyed. "She's been reprimanded more than once about this."

  I stared at Josie, appalled. "Marja has been like a mother to you. Why are you treating her this way?"

  Josie's beautiful face grew stern. "Do I tell you how to treat your servants?"

  "No, but —"

  "Then don't tell me how to treat mine."

  This wasn't like Josie at all.

  "Jacqui," she said, as if explaining to a child, "we're Kerrs. Not only that, we're Pot rags. Everyone here hates us. We have to be like them if we're going to survive. Marja can't grasp that."

  "No you don't," I said. "We're better than this."

  Josie shook her head, and her stern demeanor faded, her face pensive. "Our situation is very different from yours. " She patted my hand. "Be grateful." Then Josie smiled. "Joe's waiting for you."

  Something was terribly wrong here. Why would Josie treat Marja so poorly? Surely she could help Marja understand without being cruel to her. Had Josie's worry for Joe become too much for her to bear? Heart pounding, I followed Josie, afraid of what I might see.

  Josie took my hand. "I'm grateful you've come. He's spoken of nothing else since I told him you were to visit." She brought me down a hallway paneled in brown wood to a door.

  Joseph Kerr had always been, to me, the most beautiful man in the world. Golden brown skin, green eyes, brown hair, he lay in bed wearing white flannel pajamas. He turned his head towards us and smiled.

  Joe had the most glorious smile, the smile of a very small child. In it held pure unabashed happiness, the utter joy of life. Every time he smiled, I fell in love with him all over again.

  "Oh, Jacqui," he said, "am I glad to see you."

  Joe's right leg was in a cast, his left, strung up in a brass mechanism with many gears which held it aloft. Pulleys and weights attached to his left thigh, which lay bare. His left pajama leg was cut away, revealing the lower end of a well-muscled, badly bruised thigh. His right arm was in a burgundy and white sling. Many cuts and bruises adorned his face, along with a large bandage on his head. His left hand he held out to me. "My sweet Jacqui, you're finally here. You look just as beautiful as I remembered. Come to me."

  I hurried to his side, sat on the chair beside his bed, and took his hand in both of mine. "Are you in pain?"

  He lay back on his pillow, languid as a cat. "Some, but the doctor says it'll pass. Josie tells me I'm fortunate to be alive."

  I nodded, mesmerized by his eyes.

  "How are you, Jacqui? I've missed you so."

  I took a deep breath. The room smelled of antiseptics and clean linens. "I'm well." I glanced at the contraption he was placed in. "Will you be well enough to come to dinner?"

  "The doctor says in another week I can be free of this, if all goes well. Then I can be wheeled about like a babe in a pram." He chuckled, then his face turned solemn. "Josie told me not to race that field, Jacqui. You mustn't blame her." He gazed up at his sister, who stood beside me. "I understand now that she is much more intelligent than I." He turned to me. "I will follow her advice from here henceforth, to the letter. I promise."

  I squeezed his hand. "I'm glad to hear you laugh. I feared you would be downcast."

  "No," Joe said. "I feel good." He gave a contented sigh. "Especially now you're here." He paused. "Tell me more of the dinner. Who else will be there?"

  "Let's see ..." my eyes lost focus as I went over the list. "Jonathan and Gardena Diamond, Lance Clubb and his sister Kitty, Dame Anastasia Louis —" His hand spasmed, as if he felt a sharp pain, but when I glanced at his face, he seemed well. "— and Major Blackwood. And of course, Tony and I, and the two of you."

  Josie said, "I look forward to it."

  "Josie, would you fetch a blanket?" Joe said. "I feel a chill."

  Josie left the room, closing the door behind her.

  I had a sudden thought: Joe and I were alone, in his bedroom. He was partially clothed, and I held his hand.

  I recalled Tony's outrage and terror for my reputation when I went to the Apprentice's area and the Magma Steam Generator "unescorted," even though our Inventor accompanied me, a man old enough to be my grandfather.

  This scene was probably not what Tony had in mind when he allowed me to come here.

  "I only have a little time," Joe said, "so I will be brief."

  He sounded so serious that I felt afraid.

  "I'm so deeply sorry for the time I've been away from you. Words can't describe how much I grieve over missing these years of your life. The torment you must've endured at the hands of the Spadros Family! And I wasn't there to comfort and protect you. The thought tears at my soul."

  I felt astonishment, and hope.

  "I think of you every day. I dream of you every night." He gripped my hand. "I — forgive me, but I feel this is my last chance. I must speak, though you never wish to see me again.

  "The night you were taken, I was taken too. Taken here, beaten daily, told to do things I didn't understand. I still don't understand most of it. We're not like these people." He paused, glancing away for a long moment, then gazed into my eyes. "I long for you desperately. The only thing which kept me sane was thoughts of seeing you. But when I've been allowed near you, it was in the presence of others. I feared to speak or show any hint of my regard for you. I was in terror of what might happen. This," he held up our hands, clasped together, "is utter bliss. Yet I fear I've lost you."

  I gaped at him, stunned. "I — I'm ... I'm —"

  "Yes, I know. Married. Three years now." He lowered our clasped hands to the bed. "You're married. Bound to another for life." He closed his eyes for several moments. "What traps these quadrant-folk lay for each other." He paused, then turned to me. "Did you come to love him? Did you give yourself gladly? At least tell me that."

  The coldness of the gun behind my neck as Roy and I stood outside the chapel ... the terrifying click of the hammer ...

  I stared at my lap.

  ... the horror as Tony undressed me that first time ... Roy's words repeating in my mind "Make us believe it, now and for all time, or you'll be dead."

  Enduring that night had taken everything Ma taught me.

  "... find a place to go inside, if you truly can't abide him," Ma said long before, when it became clear what was to happen to me. So that night, I did ... and eventually, I found Joe.

  I shook my head.

  "Do you love him now?"

  Tony's gentle touch, his loving words, his determination to stand against his father ...

  My first impulse was to say yes.

  But I couldn't say that with Joe here, his precious hand in mine, saying he loved me. Tony never made me feel like Joe did.

  No. I don't love him. Not like I love you.

  "I don't know," I whispered.

  Joe closed his eyes and pressed my hand to his lips. Then he opened his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Jacqui. I don't know what you should do. All I know is — a
ll you need to do is say the word and I'll be there."

  My confusion must have shown, because he said, "Have you forgotten our last night together?"

  ... how we kissed, the way he smelled, the way he touched me ...

  I smiled, the warmth of his love flowing through me. "How could I ever forget?"

  "I meant what I said, Jacqui." His voice dropped to a whisper. "As soon as I'm well, I'll take you and we'll leave Bridges, lose ourselves in some other city. They'll never find us." He paused. "If you'll still have me."

  If I would still have him? I had almost given up hope. "Dealer help me," I whispered. What was I to do?

  "I have to get out of here," Joe said. "I can't live like this anymore. And I can't — I won't leave without you. My grandfather is a monster. The things he's done —" Joe shook his head. "He doesn't know you're here. We plan to tell him you came, then left when you heard I was unable to come down. He would kill me if he learned I told you these things."

  I stared at him, horrified. "Why do you stay?"

  "Why do you stay?" He turned his head away. "I know of Roy Spadros. I've heard of his brutality, his torture room, his disregard for life." He turned his head to look at me. "What keeps me from despair is that he threatened your home and family, and that you're a woman who values her kin. I have to believe this is why you stay in such a terrible place."

  I nodded. "I tried to run once. Roy threatened to kill my Ma, burn the Cathedral with everyone inside, even the little children, should I step in the Spadros Pot again."

  Joe stroked my fingers with his thumb, then he sighed. "My grandfather threatened you, Jacqui. He vowed to kill you if we had any contact — this is why I never came to you, never wrote you. He vows to kill you every time I make a wrong step. The thought torments me." He gazed in my eyes, and I saw the fear there. "I live in terror of some harm coming to you because of me. He knows I would rather die."

  I squeezed his hand in mine and kissed it, then held it to my cheek, my heart full.

  My mother-in-law Molly had spoken of a threat directed at me. I couldn't fathom who would target me besides Jack Diamond and another of my enemies, Judith Hart. Now I had one more name for the list. I kissed Joe's hand, and gazed into his eyes. An electric feeling hit deep in my soul; our hearts touched, and became one.

  Josie came in carrying a blue woolen blanket, and spread it over him. "Grampa will be back soon."

  "Jacqui," Joe said, "you must go. He must not find you here."

  I nodded, and rose, still holding his hand. "I'll visit when you tell me it's safe."

  Josie grabbed my hand and led me to the door. I glanced back, and Joe mouthed, "I love you."

  The Problem

  Josie and I hurried down the stairs; my carriage and coachmen stood before us. The wind blew stronger, tiny sprinkles of rain falling here and there. But I barely noticed them.

  Joe loved me.

  No other carriages were on the street, and Josie let out a sigh of relief. "Grampa won't be angry at you being out here. But if he saw you were in the house, in Joe's bedroom —"

  I nodded, picturing Tony's reaction. "I understand."

  She lowered her voice. "Jacqui, there's something I must discuss with you."

  "What is it?"

  "Helen Hart was not out boating last week."

  I stared at Josie, dismayed. That was my cover story the day Blaze Rainbow and I went to the Diamond Party Time factory to rescue David Bryce from his kidnappers.

  "Helen ... Mrs. Hart ... is a dear friend. She's been ill for many weeks. She was with child, but the pregnancy went poorly. Very poorly. That day you were out, the day Joe and I were in the Hart countryside and he was hurt so badly, she lay bleeding. It was sudden and unexpected. She herself almost died, and the baby was born much too early, dead. Not many know of this; she has lost several babes in the past, and they didn't want the newspapers to get word. Her difficulty is why she wasn't at the Grand Ball with her husband Etienne, our Inventor."

  I nodded. I had wondered about that.

  "But Jacqui ... where were you? Why did you tell your husband you were with Helen Hart, of all people? I felt appalled when he said so. I didn't know what to say there at the luncheon. I felt you caused me to lie for you in front of all those people — your husband, the maids, your butler — to cover up whatever it was you were doing that day. Why would you lie about where you were? What were you doing?"

  I had never seen her so upset in my life.

  "Were you out with a man? Is there someone you love other than Joe?" She put her hand to her forehead. "I can't conceive you to be so false. It can't be true. It would break Joe's heart."

  Of course I hadn't been with some other man; I had been saving a little boy's life. Could I trust her with that information, though? What had she gone through these six years? How had it changed her?

  A carriage came down the street from far off. "You must go," Josie said. Honor stood beside my carriage door, waiting.

  I stopped a stone's throw from my carriage, turned to her, and whispered, "Please don't speak of this to anyone. I beg you. There is an explanation, but I can't give it now, there's no time. Please. I ... I love Joe. I would die before harming him. Don't wound him further with these speculations. Please believe in me; await my story before making accusations."

  "I will. But this 'explanation' had best be a good one." Her tone made her message clear: I will not have my brother hurt by you.

  I felt stung, yet grateful of her willingness to hold judgment, at least for a while. "Thank you."

  Honor stood by the opened door several feet off, a question in his eyes, but saying nothing. I took his hand and got into the carriage, and waved to Josie, who went into the house without waving back.

  Honor glanced at me. "Is all well?"

  I nodded. "Her brother is badly hurt and she's distressed. She'll be well; she has family and friends beside her."

  Honor nodded. "Let us be off then. Spadros Manor?"

  "Yes, thank you."

  It was a long ride back to Spadros Manor, and I spent most of it in turmoil.

  Why would Morton ... Master Blaze Rainbow ... why would he say Helen Hart invited me to luncheon? Why did I listen? Why did I go along with his plan?

  I knew he was lying. I knew he was untrustworthy after he grabbed me in that alley. I would never have considered the idea of boating with Helen Hart if Blaze Rainbow had not brought it up. And I went along with it.

  Now I was in a serious predicament.

  Who thought I was with Helen Hart those two times? Would any of them be able to hear otherwise? Who besides Josie might learn of Helen Hart's illness and my 'luncheons' both?

  I thought back. Pearson, the maids, Honor, the driver that day, Jonathan, Tony ...

  The biggest problem was Tony. If he — or worse yet, his father Roy — happened to speak with one of the Harts ... for example, about the horse ...

  Betraying the Family held the death penalty. My father-in-law Roy preferred torture to a clean bullet to the head. Probably one of the reasons Crab shot himself after Duck died, rather than wait to see which Tony intended for him.

  I didn't want to die. Not when I finally had a chance at life.

  Stop, I thought. I had to remain calm. As far as I knew, no one but Josie suspected me. Somehow I would reason this out. But I would never be able to do so while in a state of agitation.

  Roy would never speak with Charles Hart; he hated Mr. Hart as thoroughly as a man could hate anyone. I couldn't imagine how Roy might learn of my visits with Helen Hart. He hadn't been to the house since he and Tony argued several weeks ago.

  I sat watching the river as we crossed into Spadros quadrant, and I realized that all this thought and agitation was merely a way to distract myself from the real question: what was I going to do about Joe?

  After dinner, Tony and I sat in his study in front of the fire as he held my hand. He said nothing about my somber mood, but I had learned to read him. Though he was a master at k
eeping his emotions from most people, he seemed to relax, even be vulnerable in my presence.

  It made me feel sad.

  When he finally spoke, I knew a moment before what he would say, and the sincerity with which he would say it. "How is Master Kerr?"

  I shook my head. "Sorely hurt, but able to speak. I'm astonished he spoke with such clarity. He had a terrible large bandage on his head."

  The realization hit me as a shock: would Joe remember our conversation? Could his words have come from being impaired in some way?

  Did he really still love me?

  What a fool I was not to see the import of the bandage before I sat with him. "He claimed the doctors would release him from bed in time for the dinner, but I'd be surprised if they attend."

  Tony shook his head. "It's a pity; I hoped to spend the evening with them and have them meet others in our society. They need assistance in that regard: most doors are closed to them simply because of their name." He almost seemed to be speaking to himself, rather than to me. "It seems unfair." He paused for several seconds. "I understand being judged because of your ancestors — because of your father."

  I patted Tony's hand. "Once Joe's well, we can have them over as often as you like."

  He smiled and reached into his pocket. "I have something for you." He produced a small box. Inside was a silver chain with a single moonstone, which he placed around my neck. "One of the health gems," he said. "So you'll get well soon."

  I gasped, overwhelmed with his thoughtfulness, and threw my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "Thank you so much."

  Pearson's heavy tread approached the door, and he knocked. I extricated myself quickly and smoothed my hair.