Confessions of an Heiress Read online

  The Evolution of “the Pose”

  All these paparazzi guys I’ve come to know from going out over the years tell me I do a specific kind of pose—and that I’ve learned to master an entrance. But that makes me embarrassed! I don’t really know what I do! I just do it. When I first started being photographed, I just made dumb faces. Then, after looking over the pictures, I decided to try a few new things. But I’m not going to give away my secrets. Now when I walk into a place everyone goes, “Give us the Paris Pose!” It helps if there’s a bunch of cameras flashing. I admire girls who innately know how to do it. If you’re going to go down a red carpet, you’ve got to try to do it right. Do it with attitude. Look at Gwen Stefani—she’s awesome.

  Just know that if you pose like an heiress, everyone will naturally assume you are one. You don’t have to be an actress to have your photo run. Wear the right clothes, turn your hips to the side to slenderize them, and make sure the photographers get all excited when you turn up. Smile sweetly. Next thing you know, your photo will run in WWD—and everyone’ll just assume you’re an heiress. Who’s to know the difference? Once you’re in the A-list parties, it won’t matter anymore.

  “If you’re going to go down a red carpet, you’ve got to try to do it right.”

  When I go out, I’m going to be photographed. And part of the reason for that is, I always travel in a pack. Not just any pack, but a pack of really fun girls. I admit it—I do like to walk into a party with my closest friends, but there’s nothing spontaneous about it. When I was a little girl, I heard my grandmom telling my mom, “It’s better to walk in with a bouquet of roses than be a rose surrounded by a bunch of weeds.” I’ve always liked traveling in packs—it’s more fun. If you show up at a party and it’s kind of dull, you’ve brought your own. You know how they say BYOB? I BYOP—bring your own party. If all else fails, you can talk about each other’s clothes. It’s a no-brainer.

  Believe me, it’s not easy to arrange a girls’ night out for a whole bunch of girly girls. Oh, the burdens of being an heiress! Just making sure they’re all dressed and ready at the same time is a nightmare. But I promise you, it’s worth it. You get much more attention. Who are guys going to have their heads turned by: one girl—or twenty? Not only that, if you show up with ten or twenty of your girlfriends, you’ve made sure that a good percentage of the girls in the room are not going to compete with you for guys. If they do, then you’ve quickly learned they’re not your true friends.

  Everyone thinks my life is a constant party. It doesn’t seem like that to me, but I guess compared to most people, I do go out a lot. Who doesn’t want to go out and have fun? If anyone says she doesn’t, then she’s in denial.

  Lately, though, I’ve been working more, and when I have a boyfriend, I like to stay home. Sometimes.

  But when I go out, I want to do it right. After all, I have the rest of my life to stay home—once I hit fifty or so. Just joking! I do want to start a family soon.

  My Friends

  My closest friends are the girls I grew up with: Nicky, of course, and Nicole Richie, who’s been my friend since I was little. Kimberly Stewart, Rod’s daughter, and I have known each other since we were two years old, and I love her. And I like the young rocker chicks: Taryn Manning, Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, Carmen Electra—these girls are so cool. I love Pharrell, he’s the hottest record producer out there. I love Matchbox Twenty’s Rob Thomas and his wife. They’re animal lovers. Jessica Simpson is really cute and really talented; I like her and her husband, Nick, a lot. But the rock chicks I admire most are Gwen Stefani and Madonna. And I have a lot of actress friends, like Dominique Swain and Ashley Scott. Shannon Elizabeth is so sweet and loves animals, like I do. She’s into all the animal causes. There’s a great, fun, young scene in Hollywood.

  I like Alexandra von Furstenberg and her sisters—I really respect and look up to them. I don’t hang out with too many socialite girls, except Casey Johnson, a good friend who lives in L.A., and sometimes Amanda Hearst, who’s an old family friend. I love Naomi Campbell. I’ve known her for a while and she’s one of the most gorgeous women in the world. She always gives me very good advice. And another guy I love in L.A. is Dave Pinsky, from Motorola, because he always gives me free phones.

  * * *

  Here’s a little test to see if your friends are true. Try on two outfits when you’re getting ready for a fabulous party. Pick an outfit that you look hot in and try it on in front of your supposed best friend. Then try on an outfit that’s kind of hot, but definitely not as hot. If she picks the second one, you’ll know your friend is jealous. To go one step further, try on a third, truly hideous, outfit. If she picks that one, you’ll really know not to trust her.

  But note: This little test does not apply to everyone. Your friend might have really bad taste.

  * * *

  I’m nice to everyone, because I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ll talk to everybody, even if they’re boring.

  Since the first episode of The Simple Life aired, I can’t go to a party and not be bombarded by people who want to talk to me. It’s not that much fun having people come up to you and want to spend time with you just because they think they should know you. Some of my friends have a name for these hangers-on: “Paris-ites.”

  My Life Is a Party

  The way I look at it, you should live every day as if it were your birthday. So when my birthday comes around, it has to be even more fabulous. For my twenty-first birthday, I had five different parties in five different cities—New York, L.A., Tokyo, London, and Las Vegas—because I have friends in each of those places. So, of course I had to have five different outfits. The traveling didn’t bother me; it was worth it to have such a memorable birthday.

  “An entrance is everything.”

  MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PLACES AND PARTIES

  • THE IVY ON ROBERTSON IN L.A.: I love the Ivy, which I’ve been going to ever since I was little. But it’s definitely changed over the years. There were a ton of paparazzi outside the last time I went. I LOVE the Ivy’s crab cakes—they almost make it worth the mob. It’s also a good place to be taken on a date. It means your date is not cheap and he wants to show you off.

  • KOI ON LA CIENEGA: It has the best sushi and the cutest crowd.

  • CHI ON SUNSET BOULEVARD: It has the best dumplings, and the decor is beautiful.

  • MR. CHOW IN NEW YORK AND L.A.: I’ve been going to these places since I was a little girl. The best food in the world!

  • THE PALM IN L.A. AND NEW YORK: I love the lobster and the onion rings. Plus, my picture’s painted on the wall, which is pretty cool!

  • LE CIRQUE IN NEW YORK: I started going there when I was a baby, and they catered my twenty-first birthday.

  • BRENT BOLTHOUSE PARTIES IN L.A.: He’s one of the coolest party promoters in town, and everybody’s always at his events. The Alliance has cool parties too, which are always exclusive. Exclusive is always better.

  • THE VANITY FAIR OSCAR PARTY AND THE ELTON JOHN AIDS FOUNDATION OSCAR PARTY COHOSTED BYINSTYLE: My favorite. The best-dressed crowd of all time, and everyone is so beautiful. Watching all the gowns and glamour can make you dizzy. I don’t need to be around only beautiful people, but it helps: There’s a lot more energy; you can feel the sexiness in the air, and that makes everyone excited.

  • SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL PARTIES: It’s all film people, but they’re really young and love to stay up late. I love skiing, too. And you can wear jeans and feel dressed up, which is rare for a film festival.

  • THE SHORE CLUB AND THE DELANO IN MIAMI.

  • LAS VEGAS: For New Year’s and for fights, I love to stay at the Palms or any of my family’s Vegas casinos, including Caesar’s Palace, Bally’s, the Flamingo Hilton, the Paris Hilton Casino, and the Vegas Hilton. And I really love the pet stores in Vegas, since they sell exotic animals and ferrets.

  My Best-Kept Party Secret

  At parties, everyone always thinks I’m drinking�
�but actually I rarely drink. I live on energy drinks, basically. I LOVE Vitamin Water. I have cases in my house. I drink energy drinks and Vitamin Water all night. That’s how I manage to stay up late and never smudge my makeup or mess up my hair. You can see all these girls leaving a party at the end of the night, and they look terrible because they were too out of it to reapply their makeup or even glance in a mirror. This is a huge mistake. People remember how you look when you leave as much as they remember how you looked when you arrived.

  But it doesn’t bother me when my friends drink. I think it’s fun to watch people who are wasted. It’s weird, to watch it all. You really read people a lot better. It’s funny to watch people and realize how dumb they look. But sometimes, I’m up till five in the morning from all the caffeine I’ve had. Still, I prefer to be overcaffeinated to being totally out of it. When I get home, I try to drink chamomile tea with milk to fall asleep. I love it with honey or sugar. Both is even better.

  Confidence is the Party Key

  You’ve got to walk in like you know everybody there. An entrance is everything. If you walk into a party looking desperate or needy, it’s over. Traveling with a pack gives you added confidence—it’s like a party-insurance policy.

  But stupid stuff can still happen. Recently, I was at a major Hollywood party—everyone was there—and I stepped in a little pond covered by flowers. I didn’t see it because of the roses, plus I was on the phone. So I just walked right into the pond. I wasn’t embarrassed, just a bit scared. I say that when you’re in an embarrassing situation, just laugh at yourself. If you get embarrassed, it will only make the situation worse. So I don’t get embarrassed. That’s for other people. An heiress should never be embarrassed.

  Anyway, nobody can hate someone who’s laughing at herself. When I see people in embarrassing situations, I never laugh at them, because I always feel really bad for them. I know how they feel.

  “The way I look at it, you should live every day as if it were your birthday.”

  I’ve been lucky to have traveled to more fun foreign places during my short lifetime than most people. But it’s not so much where you go—although that does count, of course—but how you get there. What’s the good of going to Saint-Tropez or Australia if you’re backpacking and you look ratty and act grouchy when you arrive? Or if you can’t show up with your hair blown out? Heiresses definitely have a certain way of traveling, and it didn’t start with me; it has been documented throughout history. Who do you think bought all that Louis Vuitton luggage, those Hermæs dog carriers, fancy steamer trunks, and first-class tickets, not to mention the G5s. If you don’t have your own plane, learn how to borrow one, or hitch a ride with your billionaire friends. If you act like you travel that way all the time, chances are you’ll get more offers to. Private is so much better. Try to go for the planes with the best chefs. Promise your friends with planes that you’ll take them to fun parties and make sure they have a great time when you get to your destination.

  And I cannot stress enough the importance of billionaire friends. Even for someone like me, they can be real assets. They raise your social net worth.

  How to Pack Like an Heiress

  Always pack more than you need—three times as much—then don’t wear any of it and buy all new stuff. That’s what I do. When they see you coming through the hotel lobby with a ton of luggage, they’ll know you’re someone important. One of the best ways to explore a new place is to go shopping there. It’s always fun to check out shopping bags printed in other languages. I like to collect them. What could tell you more about a culture and its people than their shopping habits?

  The only other thing you need to think about when you pack like me is to keep a lot of small cash, in various currencies, around for tips. (You’d never want to haul that luggage around yourself.) If you run out of cash, cast a helpless look toward the nearest good-looking guy. It never fails. And it helps if you’re wearing a short skirt. And high heels.

  On Flying

  I always try to travel first-class or private.

  Forget all that advice about bottled water and sleeping. Here’s how I survive really long trips: I love to buy as many gossip magazines as possible, and start the trip by reading everything in the world that’s recently been written about me. Then I take a nap, wake up, read scripts, check my e-mail, review personal notes, and write in my diary. It’s nice to be in a place where my phone isn’t ringing. A plane is pretty much the only place that happens. If I get really bored, I’ll pop on my pink mini iPod and reread a Vogue. I’ll always discover a dress or a pair of shoes I didn’t notice before.

  I hate the food on planes, so I bring my own fast food, which makes everyone on board mad because it smells so good—and they wish they had it! Sometimes, I’ll request a vegetarian meal. They’re pretty bland, but they’re better than regular plane food. Of course, everybody knows that placing the order does not necessarily mean they’ll get it right. That is so annoying. And having a flight attendant spill something on you can totally ruin your flight. It’s like, “Hello, I don’t want to fly five hours smelling like orange juice.”

  Slumming It

  Yes, I admit I’ve taken the subway in New York—and it smells. It literally smells like pee. Why can’t they do anything about that? Does anyone ever clean down there? And in the summer, you see rats down there, too. Gross. I can deal with ferrets, but rats and sewers, no way. The good thing is, the subway’s really fast, which, for a girl on the go, can never be undervalued. I never take the subway in the summertime. But in the winter, I’ll do it because it can be the fastest way to get around New York. If I’m not in a rush, I’ll usually take a taxi or have a driver in New York. Then again, that’s what people expect from me. It really freaks them out if they see me on the subway—and I love that.

  MY FAVORITE PLACES

  • JAPAN: The people in Tokyo are so sweet, and the kids dress so well. Japan has the best shopping. And I love to go to Nobu there. I also like this club called Lexington Queen. It’s where anyone who’s anyone in the U.S. can go to hang out while they’re in Japan.

  • AUSTRALIA: I like Sydney and Melbourne, and Australia’s Gold Coast is a lot like Saint-Tropez. I love Australian accents. They also have the most awesome zoos, where you can hold koalas, play with kangaroos, and swim with dolphins.

  • MIAMI: The Shore Club and Mansion, the Delano, the Sagamore, Mint and Privé, Opium Bar.

  • L.A.: Too many great places to mention. That’s why I live here.

  • PALM SPRINGS AND PALM DESERT: I love the weather. It’s a great place to relax in the sun.

  • MALIBU: I love the shopping in Planet Blue at the Cross Creek Mall. They have the best clothes.

  • EUROPE IN THE SUMMER: Particularly Saint-Tropez, and particularly on a yacht. I love the Byblos Hotel and Les Caves du Roi club, Ibiza, the Mediterranean, and Val Rouge on the beach.

  • LAS VEGAS: Totally fun, but it gets old in three days. Never stay more than three days in Vegas. No one cool would.

  • LONDON: I love the people, and the shopping is great. I love Harvey Nichols and Harrods—it has absolutely everything!

  • MAUI: I love the Four Seasons there. Hawaii is the best place to get a real tan.

  • ASPEN: I love skiing, though I am pretty bad at snowboarding (I always fall on my butt). The Little Nell is a great place to stay.

  • BRAZIL: I did a runway modeling job in Rio, and the people were so beautiful. Especially the guys.

  • PARIS: Wasn’t it named after me?

  MY LEAST FAVORITE PLACES

  ANYWHERE WITH HUMID WEATHER. I HATE TO BE ANYPLACE MY HAIR FRIZZES.

  THE HAMPTONS: IT’S SO TIRED.

  THE NUDIST COLONY WHERE NICOLE AND I HAD TO STAY ON THE SIMPLE LIFE 2. SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER VOLUNTARILY GO WITHOUT CLOTHES.

  MAINE: I WENT THERE ONCE. GOOD LOBSTER, BUT THERE’S NOTHING TO DO.

  ANYWHERE THERE’S A LOT OF INSECTS.

  ANYWHERE WITH BAD CELL-PHONE REC
EPTION.

  Possibly the best thing about being an heiress is that you don’t necessarily have to work. Everyone else must work, though, so it immediately sets you apart. I’ve never had to have a wardrobe to wear to an office, thank God. I can’t imagine anything as boring as wearing some dumb, sexless pantsuit. And since neither Uggs nor stilettos seem to really cut it in an office—unless you work at a Starbucks in Malibu or at Vogue, Harper’s, InStyle, or W—I’d have a tough time. Not only that, I’m not good in the morning. Having to be anywhere before noon seems really uncivilized to me. How are you supposed to have a nightlife if you have to get up before noon?

  But how cool is it to be an heiress and decide you want to work? It makes you even more special, because there aren’t many working heiresses out there, and if they work, their gigs usually aren’t all that glamorous. I know heiresses who’ve made documentaries about other rich kids, and I’m not even going to comment on those so-called “heiress PR chicks.” Would a real heiress be out there hawking somebody else’s clothing line or party? A real heiress would own the clothing company—and a real heiress doesn’t have to do much to get press. All she has to do is show up in the front row of a fashion show and look amazing.