- Home
- Odessa Gillespie Black
Ever Bound Page 9
Ever Bound Read online
Page 9
“I think we have something that even time can’t touch and no matter what, I’m going to show her that I’m in it for the long haul.”
Mama entered the room and approached the footboard of my bed. She looked to be holding on to the post for stability. She looked down at the floor.
“Mama, what’s the matter?” I asked.
“Mr. Rollins has requested that you stay away from Annabeth. If he sees you even glance in her direction, he’ll send us away,” she said.
My father turned a shocked expression to Mama. “What is he accusing our son of?”
“What about Grace? Doesn’t he want me to stay away from her too?”
“He’s not accusing Colby of the barn fire. Oddly, he wasn’t even mad,” Mama said sadly, but there was more. “Grace spilled the truth right in front of him out there, and now that he knows about your indiscretion, he requires that you rebuild the barn, for now.”
“Mama, I swear I didn’t do what she said—”
“I know what’s been going on. Not only does a mother have eyes in the back of her head, she also can sense when her son is up to no good or not. I believe you. All I know to do is just what Mr. Rollins has asked of you, and see if things die down after a few days. I’ll speak to Mrs. Rollins. Maybe she’ll arrange a meeting with Annabeth.” She wrenched her hands and turned to look out the window at the barn.
“There’s more.”
“Eventually, Mr. Rollins wants you to marry Grace, Colby. He said it is only fitting after what she’s told him about the nature of your relationship with her.”
Those words were a whole barn of burning embers dropped on my head.
I didn’t sleep at all that night.
* * * *
I washed up, ate breakfast, and started straight away on the barn. Rebuilding it from the foundation up was no problem, but I’d rather burn inside it ten times than ever touch Grace Rollins again.
Wheel barrows full of still smoldering coals and ashes grew heavier after about the twentieth load. I dumped them over the pond’s edge. I tore at the old charred skeleton of the barn until I was down to only lumber that could be reused. I’d make the rebuilding of the barn be as little a burden on Mr. Rollin’s pocketbook as possible.
With a coal-black hand, dirty from the ashes, I wiped my face.
In the third floor window of the mansion, Annabeth stared down at me.
If she’d just speak to me.
Annabeth stepped back into the dark recesses of the house.
Threading my fingers back through my hair, I loosened the soot from my brow and wiped my face with a rag. I leaned back against the only wall that still stood and stared at the black window.
I silently vowed, God, I promise, if you’ll just give her back to me, I will try my best to prove that I’m worthy of being her husband and a good a faithful servant as long as I live—I was interrupted.
“I brought you some cold lemonade.” For a moment, the sweet voice was so similar to Annabeth’s my heart skipped a beat.
My eyes flashed open.
Grace.
“You started the fire.” I turned from her and picked up more of the charred embers and smoke-blackened wood. The plush grass around the barn was tarnished with water soaked ash.
Grace followed me with the drink tray.
“Colby, please look at me.” Grace sounded so innocent a good spirit could have invaded her body, if only for a moment.
My eyes landed on a pitcher of lemonade with lemons floating in it. There was a glass right beside it. My mouth would have watered had it not been so dry.
“Now, tell me that when you look on me that you don’t want me. I don’t think you can….” She lowered the tray to reveal a dress so daringly low that her breasts almost fell out the top.
“I can promise you that you have nothing I want.” I turned away from her and stalked toward my own dwelling. I would drink from a cholera infested well before I’d take her lemonade.
Grace’s skirts rustled as she followed me. “I’m not giving up.”
I walked faster. I washed up at the well pump.
Grace sat the tray down on a bale of hay that had been relocated to the outbuilding beside our cottage. “I didn’t start that fire, at least not on purpose.”
Annabeth was back at her window where her indignant stare landed on me. At least she cared enough to spy. She would get to witness me silently run all over the yard trying to get away from Grace’s advances. That would prove that I didn’t love Grace or have any plans for a future with her.
After drawing up the water pail, I took the little ladle from the hook on the side of the well cover and drank. I hoped Grace would get the idea that I would always be able to find what I needed elsewhere, where she was concerned.
Grace’s voice came at me as if she were in the bottom of the well. “You do love me. I know you do. I can see it, even when you can’t. When I woke from being knocked unconscious last evening, it was there in your eyes.”
I shook my head.
Even if I denied her accusations, she would have taken everything I said and turned it into something to satisfy her delusions.
Silently, I dropped the pail back down the well, being careful not to hit it on the rocky walls.
Grace huffed and turned to walk away.
Her back was the only thing I wanted to see when she was around. Her face sickened me.
Grace tromped back up the patio steps toward the back door.
The back door opened and Annabeth’s father looked out at me over the patio. He looked to Annabeth’s room where I kept my gaze.
I wouldn’t allow him to force me away from her.
He approached me and looked up at me. “Son, is there something I can help you with?”
I stepped away from the flower bed. “Just standing in the shade for a few minutes, admiring the view.”
“That barn won’t rebuild itself,” he said, slurring on “itself.”
“Yes, sir.” I nodded to Annabeth, but stepped out of the shade back into the sun.
“I’ve been thinking. July would be a nice month for a wedding. That’s a month away, and I’d like nothing better than to be rid of that little winch. She’s ruined so many lives. I hate that you’ll be a martyr for my sake, but it’s the only way.” Mr. Rollins took a kerchief from his pocket and wiped his red face.
I stood straighter and stared down into his eyes.
He may have been drunk, but even alcohol didn’t blind him to the fact that he needed to be rid of Grace.
“She’s no worse than her creator.” I shook my head in disbelief. “You’ve known what Grace’s been up to this whole time. I used to wonder why we hadn’t been kicked off the property. You’ve kept my family around for more than just a job well done. You’d let me die in her arms to save you from her. That’s pretty low.”
I walked around to the other side of the barn. I could no longer look at him.
He disgusted me about as much as Grace had.
* * * *
Silence was by far the worst punishment Annabeth could have sentenced me with, but she’d added to my condemnation by also not letting me see her again.
Over the next few days, every time I looked to her window, she was never there.
I would have preferred her yelling at me or slapping me to this. I always imagined hell to be the protection of God’s hand lifted from my life. Now it was the absence of her.
How had I been so damned blind?
Staring down the embankment over the pond, I settled down beside a stone wall Mr. Rollins had just began construction on. Feeling sick, I put my head down between my knees.
Days had gone by without any word from anyone about Annabeth. For that matter, she could have been in the house trapped in a closet somewhere, if Grace could have her way. And obviously she could.
The only thing that could make matters worse at the moment was if Grace convinced Annabeth that I ha
d agreed to marry her.
I couldn’t allow Annabeth to think I would. And I was tired of moping around.
I didn’t know what I’d planned to do until I got to the patio and my feet didn’t stop.
Mrs. Rollins met with me in the vestibule. At first, I thought she might try to stop me. She was probably the only person that could have. “You really shouldn’t—"
I interrupted Mrs. Rollins, though I knew it to be bad manners. “I know, but I can’t live without her a second longer. Annabeth has to know that her sister put something in my food, took my innocence while I couldn’t move, and left me there to wallow in self-loathing. Furthermore, I can’t have her believing that I’d marry Grace. Lock me in there with her if you have to. At least for five minutes.”
Mrs. Rollins looked up at the ceiling as if she could see Annabeth through it. She looked back down to me.
“Can you send word that I’ve requested a meeting with her, at least?”
As if she were standing guard at the bottom of the stairs, she didn’t answer.
With my head hung low, I turned to walk out.
“Your mother has already approached me on the subject, and I’ll tell you the same as I told her. Give her some more time. Now that I know what truly happened, maybe I can be of more help. I’ll tell her what you’ve said. If she doesn’t come to you within the day, I’ll allow you inside her room,” Mrs. Rollins said, having mercy on my heart, because that was the one thing that gave it hope of not breaking in two completely.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Rollins.” I could live for another day with the knowledge that someone was on my side, that Annabeth would learn the truth, and that she may want to see me afterward.
Chapter 8
Five long, excruciating days had passed since I had spoken to Mrs. Rollins when she finally searched me out.
After pulling me behind the privacy of the herb garden gates, she took my shoulders and gazed directly into my eyes. “We have to do something. You say you love Annabeth. If you do, you have to stop Grace. I try to keep her away from Annabeth, but she finds ways into her room, ways to taunt her. I don’t know if you can get Annabeth back after all Grace has said. Annabeth is in misery. I tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Grace has convinced her that you were another of her victims, but that you were willing at the time. That you were just too embarrassed to admit it. She’s acting as if she’s sorry for what she’s done to her sister and has asked for her forgiveness for stealing you from Annabeth. She’s also asked Annabeth to step aside so she can be happy since Annabeth could never look at you the same.”
“So, Annabeth thinks I lied to her about the whole thing.”
“Grace is good at what she does.”
“Mr. Rollins is very serious about this wedding. I think… I think she got to him,” I said.
“She has an uncanny way of getting what she wants in all matters.” The browns of her irises were almost black with something I’d never seen a mother have toward her daughter.
“You know.”
“I’m far from stupid.” She let her fingers graze the foliage. “There’s only so much a woman can do about these things without causing more harm to the family than it’s worth. Grace is willing, he’s too weak to deny her, and Annabeth and I were left unharmed, until now. A woman only has so much control in these sorts of matters. I have tried to protect Annabeth since I figured out what was going on, and I won’t allow Grace to have her way this time. And though she stares at the walls and swears she doesn’t care about you, Annabeth is devastated.”
“I’ll do my best to fix things.” I pulled my shirt on so that I would be at least somewhat presentable. I would have opted for washing up before seeing her, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“Give me a few minutes to get Grace out of the house, and then I’d prefer if you didn’t come down till Annabeth has agreed to marry you. Let me handle the rest.” Mrs. Rollins smiled.
I hid behind a huge plant on the patio and waited. My whole body quivered with anticipation. I checked my underarms to see if I stank. I didn’t gag, so I was acceptable. In a few seconds, I would be in Annabeth’s room where I would lock the door behind us until I had her in my arms again.
The second Mrs. Rollins and Grace were out the front door, well on their way to the carriage, I tiptoed up the stairs.
Trying to figure out how to begin my apology and profuse begging, I paced outside Annabeth’s door. Trembling, I knocked. I hoped the words would come to me when I needed them.
“Come in.” Her voice was rough and hollow.
Slowly, I inched the door open.
Without looking back, she lay on her bed, chin in her hands, looking out the window.
A lump grew in my throat, but I spoke over it. “Annabeth?”
She jerked upright and twisted around. Without a word, she crawled over the bed, grabbed a drinking glass from her nightstand, and slung it as hard as she could at my head.
To miss being hit square in the forehead, I ducked.
The heavy glass exploded against the door. Shards bounced off my back. Sparkly chunks fell on the white carpet of her bedchambers.
“Get the hell out of here.” Annabeth’s voice cracked. Her face was gaunt and her eyes were surrounded with rings of purple.
I talked fast. “I know you’re angry, but I swear it didn’t happen the way Grace said it did. It was one time and when it did happen, I was half in and out of sleep or something weird.”
“It’s lies. All lies. Get out.” Her words quivered through her trembling lips.
“I’m gonna slowly step toward your bed, okay? And I promise not to touch you.” Holding my arms up against anything else she found for ammunition, I crept closer. “I swear on my mother and father’s lives that I didn’t willingly touch your sister.”
Annabeth took a deep breath and reached for the table where there was an arsenal of other weapons to choose from. Her hand hovered there, ready to reload. Her eyes glistened under the tears. They broke free and slid down her face. “Don’t you see? I can never trust you again.”
“I realize I’ve been a fool, but when I told you nothing happened, I really had no idea how that would impact my life later. I was embarrassed.”
Annabeth pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around them, and looked back toward the window. “You hurt me.”
I perched on the end of her bed as far away from her as possible.
“I’d do anything to take it back.” Needing any nearness I could achieve, I leaned a fraction of an inch closer.
“You should have told me the moment you realized we were going to be more than friends. But you were selfish. And now you’re here to tell me how sorry you are when you’re planning your wedding?” Her tears stopped and she swallowed hard.
I leaned back. How could she think this?
She’d had days to sit in there and loll all she’d heard from her demented sister and everything she’d seen around in her head without my side of things.
“For three years, I dodged her advances, but she became more persistent. I couldn’t make her mad. I had to manage her so my family wouldn’t be sent away. Finally, I’d had enough. I told her I didn’t love her and knew I never could. Something changed after that. She delved into an even deeper into a darkness I can’t explain. One evening not too long after that, she came to me with food. I’m sure she put something in it. I found myself at the pond after you caught me listening to you play piano. I think you might remember that night. I became so weighed down by exhaustion that I couldn’t stop her when she came to me. When I woke afterward, she pretended I’d taken advantage of her when it was exactly the other way around.”
“It didn’t occur to you to try to trust me?” She sat straighter on the bed. “Or you wanted to have me so in love with you I couldn’t tell the truth from a lie?”
“No, I was ashamed. And scared.”
“I can’t believe you! You won�
��t even admit that’s what you did!” She shouted.
“Yes. I wanted you in love with me but not so I could betray you. I needed your trust. I didn’t think it all through. It—we—happened so fast. But you’re important to me, and I don’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to lose you, then.”
“You. Never. Had. Me.” She sounded so final.
All the air in the room, it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t breathe. “I can’t change the past, and I understand you want to hate me, just please don’t.” For a few seconds, I was silent and still.
Tears streamed in a current down her calm face.
From her nightstand, I took a handkerchief and laid it beside her on the bed. I dared to touch her arm, but she jerked away. “No. D-d-don’t.”
Staring at her carpet, I got lost in its pattern. I’d never be able to live without her. I was so empty.
“My sister defiles everything she touches. I thought you could be different. That you wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall victim to her wiles. And now Daddy will stop at nothing until you are hers. Even if I could bring myself to believe you, and then one day, look at you without seeing your bare bodies together, it would be futile. You were hers the day she placed claim on you.”
Rotting that felt like death started in the pit of my stomach. I could see how she felt now. I could never imagine seeing another man’s hands touch her body. By right, by fate, we both belonged to the other, but we would never see that happy ending.
I solemnly stood and turned away.
My chest was a cave of ice.
Not looking back, I pulled the door shut behind me.
It was up to her now. I had done all I could do. Backing off was unbearable, but it’s what I had to do.
* * * *
After the disappointing visit with Annabeth, the day just kept getting better. At the back door of the house, Pop dropped a shell into a double barrel shotgun. His face was sullen shadows as he raised his eyes to look at me. “Two of the horses have fallen ill.”