Escaping the Blackness (A Cooper Brothers Novel Book 1) Read online

  The Cooper brothers know this and rarely adhere to my prescription.

  “He sounded pissed,” Dane continues, stretching his arms above his head in a lazy fashion.

  I flop down on a stool next to Sawyer and Cole who are finishing their oatmeal.

  “Think he’ll ground Sawyer?” Cole quips around a full mouth.

  “Probably just kick his ass,” Dane responds, thudding into the kitchen for his own breakfast.

  “Kinda hard to ground me when I don’t live in his house,” Sawyer points out weakly.

  He’s not afraid of his dad. But the Cooper brothers respect their father. They do their best at every turn to never disappoint him. And Uncle Nick has never been disappointed in his sons. He allows them to be people with faults. Even as teenagers, they didn’t have a lot of rules. But the rules they had, they followed without complaint.

  I would be envious of their family unit, but mine isn’t much different from theirs.

  Living with my sister and brothers meant I always had numerous people watching over me. I didn’t have a curfew or other rules while I lived with them. My time there was spent becoming a human being again. The teenage life was pretty lost on me by the time I escaped the dungeon.

  But the Cooper brothers weren’t having that. Once I caught up with school through private tutoring, I entered my junior year of high school at eighteen. The boys insured we got into enough trouble to show me some fun, but never enough to actually cause issues. They taught me how to live a real life.

  And they continue to teach me every day.

  Dane yanks the hood off my head and ruffles my messy locks before plopping down next to me.

  None of them ever comment on me wearing Jake’s hoodie. I don’t know if they get my attachment, but they don’t give me shit about it. That’s probably the only thing they don’t give me shit about though.

  “Once Dad’s done kickin’ Sawyer’s ass, we’re goin’ out tonight. I need to get laid and you need to take a shower,” Dane says pointedly.

  “If I need a shower, then you need a fuckin’ hazmat cleaning crew to scour you,” I snark.

  “Will the hazmat crew be made of females utilizing their tongues as cleaning devices?”

  “Only the best for my cousin,” I snort.

  “Where do you think Jake went when he left here?” Cole asks cautiously.

  We haven’t uttered another word about Jake or Chicago since the other day. I liked not talking about it. I still don’t want to talk about it.

  I shrug and focus on my coffee.

  “I miss him more now,” Cole mutters.

  “Me too,” Dane agrees.

  “Yeah,” Sawyer huffs.

  I don’t say a word.

  “Come on, Cara. It’s okay to admit how hard it is,” Cole prods.

  “I don’t miss him. He’s gone and I doubt we’ll ever see him again. It’s best to let it go now. I’m ready to let it go,” I state blankly.

  “Then take the fuckin’ hoodie off,” Dane demands.

  “Dane,” Sawyer warns, setting both his hands on the white quartz counter in preparation for a fight.

  “I’m sick of seein’ it. I sleep with the fuckin’ thing most nights. If she’s done with him, fine. But I’m done with the ghost of that thing,” Dane seethes, pointing at the ratty material on my body.

  He’s right. I know he’s right. But I’m not ready to let the hoodie go just like I’m not really ready to let Jake go.

  Dane tugs on the sleeve harshly and I react. My coffee mugs shatters on the floor as I leap on Dane, driving my forearm into his throat as soon as I have him on the floor.

  “Don’t,” I seethe through clinched teeth.

  He doesn’t fight me. He simply locks his honey eyes with mine and waits.

  After a few moments, Sawyer and Cole looming over us to step in if needed, I crumble. I drop my head into the neck I was just pinning and force myself not to cry as I admit, “I miss him too.”

  “I know,” Dane croons, swathing my body in his strong arms. “Don’t fight it so hard and it won’t hurt so much.”

  I nod.

  He’s right. I hate it when he’s right. He knows I can lie to myself and shut down better than anyone. Dane also knows if he pushes me just enough, I’ll let go. It’s a delicate dance he’s learned to perfection over the years.

  “When you two are done acting like little kids, can we figure out where we’re goin’ tonight?” Sawyer requests in an annoyed huff.

  “I know where I’m goin’ tonight,” Dane purrs seductively as I climb off him. “Face first into at least one pussy.”

  I kick his arm out from under him and his gross ways before running across the room to avoid retaliation. It’s a lost cause though because I’ve taken him to the ground twice. I’m in for it and there’s nowhere to hide.

  “You just ruined my moment of fantasizing, Cara,” he growls as he climbs to his feet while I use the couch as a barrier from him.

  Sawyer and Cole are laughing at us, deep and boisterous.

  “I’m sure if you wait a few seconds, it’ll all come back,” I taunt.

  “I don’t wanna fantasize now,” he threatens as he slowly prowls toward me.

  Shit.

  Cole and Sawyer tease Dane about getting his ass handed to him by a girl as he closes the gap between us.

  “I didn’t know you were able to shut that part of your brain off,” I say, sliding to the side a little in hopes of dashing around him when he gets close. “Well, since it’s not just a part of your brain, I guess it’s hard to shut off the whole thing and still breathe.”

  A wicked smile crests his lips and I know I’ve pushed him too far. I run. I motor my legs as fast as I can move them only to be snatched mid-stride and thrown to my back on the couch. Then he’s on me, tickling mercilessly as I thrash and plead for a truce.

  It’s no use. He’s on a mission.

  “I’m gonna piss myself,” I gasp, losing all control and laughing like a mad woman.

  “Tell me,” he demands.

  I shake my head no and he increases the pressure on my ribs, making me writhe and squeal.

  “Just say it and I’ll let you up.”

  I hold out a little longer until I’m certain I can’t take another moment before screaming, “Dane Cooper is a god among men!”

  “And don’t you forget it,” he whispers, kissing my cheek before climbing off my heaving body.

  I remain like a limp noodle for a few minutes while the guys go about finishing their breakfast. It’s moments like this where I realize my life isn’t normal. It’s just plain weird. And I love it.

  I groan as I push to my feet, complaining, “I’ll be bruised for weeks.”

  “I gave you plenty of chances,” Dane states with no remorse.

  I won’t be bruised and he knows it. I get no sympathy from these three anymore. Now if my brothers were here, I’d be the princess in the room. They’re the ultimate protectors where the Cooper brothers are a combination of protection and annoyance. I think it’s because my brothers and Shannon are all older than us.

  The Cooper brothers are more classically sibling with me because we’re close in age and always at each other’s sides.

  Sawyer scoops me against his chest before dropping me on a stool. He grabs me a bowl of oatmeal and sets it in front of me before saying, “You know better than to get him goin’ first thing in the morning. He’ll be a pain in the ass all day now.”

  Dane wiggles his eyebrows at us, promising what Sawyer just stated and then some.

  “We’ll be safe with your parents here,” I respond with a quirked brow, begging Dane to act up in front of his parents.

  His dad would floor him, but it’s his mom that he’s not going to risk getting in trouble with.

  “You play dirty, Cara Kelly. Really fuckin’ dirty,” Dane huffs.

  “And all this time, I thought that’s how you liked it,” I snark.

  “Gross,” he grunts. “Don’t say s
hit like that. It makes me think about you…and stuff…and…yuck!”

  I can’t help the cacophonous laugh that breaks from my chest. There’s the sibling thing. The Cooper brothers are never shy to share their sexual lives, but if anything ever comes up about me and mine, the three of them turn green. It’s great.

  “Maybe I should come out with guys tonight and try to find a lucky one night stand,” I suggest coyly.

  “The fuck you are,” Cole seethes.

  I bat my eyelashes at him, and he glowers at me.

  “I think after eight months of bein’ single I’m entitle to a little wild abandon,” I argue.

  “Not happenin’. We’ll all end up in fights. Then we’ll end up in jail. Then we’ll end up dealin’ with Dad, or worse, Mom. No way, Cara,” Sawyer instructs.

  This is the tango of my social life I’m used to. I go out with the guys all the time. They never exclude me. But they don’t allow any male within twenty feet of me. It’s a miracle I was able to date Colton. I had to really fight to make that relationship work in the beginning. Not with Colton, but with these three. I think they miss having him around. They didn’t have to worry about fighting off suitors when I was in a relationship. Now that I’m single again, they’ve ramped up their efforts.

  It’s ridiculous.

  I’d never bring a guy home from a bar or anywhere else. I don’t trust people. I’m great with a gun. I’m decent with a knife. My fighting ability would keep me whole in a lot of situations. I have all of that, and I still would never find myself alone with an unknown man who wanted me. I can’t even bring myself to think about the vulnerability of that situation without getting the sweats.

  “I’m not really in the mood to go out. I think I’ll stay home,” I relent. “Off to shower and prepare for a fun family meeting.”

  I hurry up the stairs before they can try to stop me.

  Nick and Kat are going to want answers. I’m sure Nick knows what I did with his computer. I betrayed his trust and that won’t quickly be forgotten. I know what I did was right on a personal level. But now that I’m looking at it from the outside, I ended up hurting most of the people I care about with that move.

  I got my vengeance and now I’m carrying a ton of guilt.

  John Smith still has power in my life and I hate him a little more each day for that…myself too.

  After spending the night in a hotel, I’m pulling up at my brothers’ place again. I’ve explained things to Riley as best I can. But she’s still confused and emotionally exhausted from Gage’s funeral. I feel like I should wait and make these introductions later, but I need my family right now. I’ve hidden away all these years, and I could use some support. If I don’t get it from my brothers, I know I’ll get it from my parents.

  They climb out of Dad’s car as I unload Riley from her car seat. She clings to me tightly, nervous about what’s to come.

  Mom opens the front door without knocking or using a key. That’s not very secure. I brush off the safety thoughts and follow Dad into the living area with Mitch and Mom trailing us. My brothers and Cara are all sitting at the dining room table. Their eyes simultaneously bug out at the sight of Riley. Other than Cara’s, who simply watches me with my girl. I don’t say anything.

  I go to the couch and flop down with Riley on my lap, pulling a cream throw blanket around her trembling frame.

  “Better?” I ask before kissing her hair.

  She nods, wiggling down until her face is hidden beneath the blanket.

  “You’re gonna have to come over here to talk to me. If you can’t be civil, don’t bother. I’m not fightin’ in front of her,” I call out over my shoulder.

  Mitch plops down to my left and rubs a soothing hand up and down Riley’s back. She tenses until he whispers it’s just him into the blanket. Then she relaxes, leaning into his touch.

  Mom sits to my right while Dad sits next to her. Sawyer and Cara take the far side of the couch as Dane and Cole sit on the slate and iron coffee table right in front of me. I avoid looking at Cara and Sawyer. It cuts too deep. I focus on Cole and Dane instead.

  “You wanna say hi to my brothers, Princess?” I ask softly.

  “Hi,” she says not peeking out.

  “You’re her dad?” Dane asks with a furrowed brow.

  I tense at the question. Riley doesn’t remember anything from how we met. She was too little. She has a brief memory of me being hurt, but she believes I’m her father. She knows she doesn’t have a mom. She asked me once a few years ago and I answered honestly. She doesn’t have a mommy. I waited for her to push the topic further, but she never did. I won’t lie to her when the time comes, but the DCA psych unit suggested I take her lead on providing details of her past. With all the shit we just went through with Smith, I’m going to have to start answering questions sooner rather than later.

  “Yeah,” I reply easily.

  “How old is she?” Cole asks.

  “Five.”

  “That didn’t take long,” Sawyer chimes in sardonically.

  “Hey,” Dad warns and Sawyer shuts his mouth.

  Cara’s staring at her hands as Sawyer pulls her further against him.

  I’ll tell them about Riley when she’s not in my lap recovering from all of this shit. The details aren’t important in this moment. They wanted me home. Here I am.

  “I need to go potty,” Riley says, poking her head out of the blanket.

  “Through the kitchen.” Dane indicates with his chin.

  I unwrap us and carry Riley to the pocket door. I slide it open and set her feet on the floor.

  “Wait right there,” she instructs.

  “Okay.”

  I slide the door shut and wait. I barely move a muscle until a small hand touches my back.

  “She’s so beautiful,” Mom says quietly.

  I rip her against my chest for the millionth time since yesterday. We went our separate ways after we landed in Kansas City. Mitch and I made the drive out to Lawrence while my parents went home to the little Coopers. Riley never really interacted with my parents yesterday so she’s getting the full Cooper experience today.

  I didn’t like my parents’ idea of springing this on my brothers. They didn’t know I’d be here and they certainly didn’t know about Riley being with me. My parents thought having Riley here would be a good barrier against the anger and pain. It seems they were right because my brothers just look confused as opposed to murderous.

  “I love you, Jake,” Mom croaks.

  “I love you too,” I murmur into her golden hair.

  “I can’t get the door open, Daddy,” Riley complains.

  I release Mom and pull the door to the side. Mom wipes her face and squats down to speak to Riley.

  “Hi,” Riley says first. “Are you sad?”

  “No, honey. I’m really happy.”

  “You’re crying.”

  “Happy tears,” Mom says brightly.

  Riley looks at her like she’s nuts and then hits her with a dimpled smile before reaching her arms up at me. I help my pregnant mother up from her position before swinging Riley into my arms.

  “Who is she?” she asks, watching my mom.

  “I’m your grandma,” Mom answers before I can.

  Riley’s light grey eyes snap to mine, questions swirling in them.

  “We talked about this yesterday, remember? She’s my mom,” I try to explain, feeling like more of a failure as a father as each moment passes.

  “She’s pretty,” Riley responds.

  “I have the prettiest mom ever,” I agree.

  “I will not cry anymore today,” Mom announces, trying to hold her tears at bay.

  Dad joins our group and Riley hides her face in my neck when he comes into view.

  “Princess, this is my dad. I know he can sound scary, but he’s just a big softy,” I tease, making my dad snort and my mom laugh.

  “He’s my grandpa?” Riley asks, peeking around me at my dad’s massive frame.
r />   I’m finally bigger than him. When we were in Connecticut on our op, we spent a lot of time sparring. I only bested him once. It was a huge victory for me at the time. I was small for my age, growing four inches and gaining fifty pounds of muscle since I last saw my family. I’m not the lanky teenager my dad could push around a ring. If everything works out, I’m looking forward to kicking his ass.

  “I’m your grandpa,” Dad says in one of the softest voices I’ve ever heard him use.

  “Are you a dragon slayer too?” she asks, sitting up to look right at him.

  Dad glances to me for some direction.

  I nod.

  “Yeah,” he agrees.

  “Wow,” she breathes out and hits him with her dimples.

  The tough motherfucker that is my father, melts into a puddle.

  “Who are those mad people?” Riley asks, pointing at my brothers and Cara.

  “You wanna go meet ’em?” I ask.

  She shakes her head no. My brothers are freaking her out.

  “Remember when we talked about all of these people this morning? No one here is going to hurt you or be mean to you. They just want to meet my princess,” I try to reassure her.

  She lets out a stuttered breath and nods shakily.

  “Cole. Dane,” I call out. “Come over here.”

  They both hop to their feet and stride toward us. Riley hides again.

  “This is my brother Cole,” I introduce.

  “Hi,” she responds not looking up.

  “This is my brother Dane.”

  “Hi.”

  “I hear you give good hugs,” Cole says sweetly. “Jase told me so.”

  “He did?” she asks, popping her head up and looking toward Mitch.

  He winks at her and she smiles broadly at him.

  “Shit,” Dane hisses under his breath at the sight of the dreaded dimples and Dad smacks the back of his head. “Sorry.”

  “Dimples for days,” I say proudly like I have shit to do with it.

  “We’re your uncles,” Dane informs Riley. “I’m the best so I have to be your favorite.”

  “No way,” Cole argues. “I’m so much better than he is. I do tea parties.”