Letters to My Ten Year Old Self Read online



  Letters To My Ten Year Old Self

  Edited by

  Nina Pelletier & Drew Nicholson

  A Scriptorum Tantillum Book

  published by arrangement with the authors.

  Copyright 2011

  * * * * *

  * * * * *

  Table of Contents

  From The Editors

  Introduction

  Dear Little Nina

  Dear Drew

  Hey, Kid

  Dear Adam

  Dear Denise

  Hey, buddy

  Dear 10 Year Old Nancy

  Hey, Brother

  Dear John

  Hey kiddo

  Dear Little Tara

  Hey Little Lady

  Dear Me

  Hey there, Hunky Dunky

  Dear Mark

  Dear 10 Year Old Me

  Dear Cayenne

  OK Kenneth

  Hi Kimberly

  Dear ten year old self

  Dear ten year old self

  T

  Dear Carrie

  Dear 10 year old self

  Dear Adam (2)

  Dear Christa

  Dear Linda

  Dear Cutie

  Dear Renee

  Dear Matt

  Dear Gemma Davis Wright

  Dear Matt

  Hey Trav!

  Karlita

  To mouse scared 10-year old Ann

  Dear Mike

  Dear Scott

  Dear Master Walter

  Dear Peter

  Dear Damien

  Dear 10 yr old me

  Dear Ten Year Old Me

  Hey, 10-year old Bill

  Dear ten-year-old me

  Azure

  Art Credits

  Letter Writers

  About the Editors

  * * * * *

  From the Editors:

  In the beginning was the Writing Prompt. As most early adopters of Google+ will know, the first several weeks of the new social network included huge outpourings of creative energy and collaboration. Nina was posting her writing prompts, and getting good response, but when she posted this one, something special happened.

  The responses were compelling. Compelling beyond what she had normally gotten. This had gone beyond writers exercising their craft, and turned into people pouring out their hearts onto the page.

  And from these responses, came an idea: that they needed to be preserved. Drew stepped up to assist with that, and after a few days, we both realized that we could do something more than just preserving the responses for one writing prompt, and Scriptorum Tantillum Publishing was born. This is the first of what will be quarterly or bi-monthly journal issues. We’re also working with some writers to publish works in full. And all of it because of what people wrote to their ten year old selves.

  Some of these are short, some of them are long. They include advice about relationships, jobs, and investment. A few of them are funny. Several of them are heart wrenching. All of them are real.

  We hope you enjoy reading them.

  Nina & Drew

  * * * * *

 

  Introduction

  Dear you;

  This book was conceived from a writing prompt by Nina Pelletier. The prompt was simply if you could write a letter to your ten-year-old-self, what would it say? This book was born from a collection of those letters.

  On these pages you will find honesty, drama, and a little bit of tragedy. Likely, a lot of it you can relate to; that time you crashed your car, a divorce, what have you. That's not the point of this book.

  The point is we are not alone.

  This book is, in it's rawest form, a cathartic sharing of the human experience. We all have had terrible things happen to us, and we've all had good things too. This is a collection of what we have learned from those experiences, and what others have learned through the sharing of said experiences.

  I hope the experience has left as lasting an impression on you, the reader, as it has on me.

  Sincerely,

  Adam Boenig

  * * * * *

  * * * * *

  Dear Little Nina

  There’s so much coming your way. First, give your dad a big hug, he will be gone before you know it. You’ll think you will know how to handle his death but believe me, you have no idea. Don’t start smoking, you won’t stop. Don’t go out with that nice guy from English class, he’s not your friend and the night turns out very badly. Read a lot. Start writing journals today, trust me on this. Pay attention in English class.

  Exercise your legs, get the muscles nice and strong so you don’t fall down and wind up in a wheelchair. Love your sisters, one of them is going to leave you in a most horrendous way. Be extra kind to your nephew, it might make a difference, it might not, but it’s worth a try. Your mom is still the most amazing and strongest woman you’ll ever have the pleasure of knowing. You’ll meet a girl in grade 9 – make sure to keep her as a friend, she’s a good one and will stand by you through everything.

  Actually Nina, ignore everything I told you not to do. Your life doesn’t turn out as you expect it would. You are not rich or famous, you aren’t super happy. Your soul hurts and your heart aches, but for good reasons. By the time you’re 34, you will have experienced more horror than any human should ever suffer, yet through your sorrow, you still find joy in the smallest things. You’ll need those experiences to make you who you are today. There’s a lot to be said for your character and the woman you’ve become. All in all, I’d say you turn out okay, and the ride is not over yet.

  Keep this letter, re-read it as often as you can until the words sink in. Right now go tuck it under your pillow, find your daddy and hug him, tell him you love him, and then whisper in his ear to buy stocks in Microsoft and Google.

  Dear Drew:

  The world does not hate you. The world will not give you more than a chance, but it does not hate you.

  Don't be so selfish. Don't be so entitled. It makes you look like a dick, and you'll struggle for 15 years to get over it. Nip it in the bud now.

  You will love and lose several friends. The ones you love and keep will be the best of all.

  Stop worrying about girls. Stop worrying about your junk. Stop worrying about your height. All will come in time.

  You will love and lose several wonderful women. The one you love and keep will be the best of all.

  Acting is a dead-end for you. You'll find a career you like, even if you don't love it, and you'll do interesting things at work some of the time.

  You will have beautiful children. You won't start off so hot with the first one, but you'll come around, and when you have the second one, you'll realize that you are a good father.

  You will write many good songs, and a few really excellent ones. You'll be cheered and applauded for your work in a variety of settings.

  Little man, over the next 30 years, you're going to have your ups and your downs. Some of those downs are going to seem pretty fucking terrible. But always remember that the ups will be worth it.

  You'll become the man your parents wanted you to be.

  Have faith. You are a good person, and you'll prove it.

  Love ya.

  Drew

  * * * * *

  Hey, kid,

  You're going through a tough time. You might be blaming yourself for some of the things that are happening to you. It's not your fault. Remember that, and hold it in your mind and heart. It will get better, and you will find a group of people, one day, who will understand and be interested in learning who you are.

  And it will be amazing.

  Your life will have highs and lows, but that's
life. It's that way for everyone. Some will have lower lows than you, and some will be higher than you, and I know I'll never have to remind you of this, but celebrate your friends' success, and be there for when they're down.

  But remember: This above all: to thine own self be true

  And regardless of what your English teacher says, keep writing.

  * * * * *

  Dear Adam,

  Kid, your life is gonna suck. There are a few things you should know now.

  #1) You know that time that thing happened? We both know what that thing is. It doesn't matter. Keep going. Keep pushing, because it doesn't matter really. Neither of you knew what you were doing.

  #2) Your stepdad's a dick. Don't be like him. Don't get frustrated at life and start punching people. Learn to breathe before you self-destruct.

  #3) You're amazing. You don't know it, and no one will tell you it, but you are the sum of your parts; both your flaws and your strengths. Every bad thing that happens to you makes you more who you were meant to be, and you will love who you are.

  #4) ADD. Who boy, you're gonna have a ride kid. Your mind will spin forever, you will have more ideas than you can keep track of, and you will be one of the most creative people you know. Don't shun it; harness it. The meds will help, but they will never solve the problem. Start working out, take fish oil, and write like a mad man; it will keep you sane.

  #5) Finally, and most importantly, you will be loved.

  * * * * *

 

  Dear Denise,

  There's so much I want to tell you but you're not ready to hear it all so I'll hit the high points and leave the rest to your imagination.

  First, know this: Mom and Dad's divorce wasn't your fault. Regardless of how you feel now, keep this in mind. They love each other and love you kids but they don't like one another and liking someone is absolutely vital to having a good relationship.

  Second, you're going to have some amazing, brilliant, and loving people in your life. Some will be around a long time. Others won't. You'll lose some you can't now imagine being without and a few you won't meet for many years. It will hurt like nothing that you've ever felt before. You'll grieve, longer for some than others but believe me when I tell you you'll smile and laugh again. And you'll feel guilty for being happy. Understand it's all a part of the cycle so when it comes, see it for what it is, feel it briefly, and let it go. Do not let that grief or guilt consume you.

  Treat people with respect. I know, I sound like Mom but she's right about that. Love others not for what they can give or do but for who they are. Love them simply because they exist. That's not as easy as it sounds but do it, anyway.

  Don't forget yourself. As you get older life will get so normal and so busy that you'll often neglect Denise and her needs, wants, and desires. Yes, others will need you but don't put them so far ahead that you get lost. Find things you love to do and make the time to enjoy them.

  You only get one chance at life, kiddo, so do it right!

  * * * * *

  * * * * *

 

  Hey buddy,

  Ok, don't worry, I won't take long, you've got no attention span as it is.

  So, what can I tell you that will make life easier for you in the next twenty-six years? Not much, I'm afraid. You're going to have a lot of fun, but there will be some lonely times too. Quit looking out the window. I'm over here.

  Alright- bullet points then:

  - Don't be afraid to be smart. If you keep acting dumb just to fit in, dumb will rub off on you.

  - That thing you do with your friends? It's called "self deprecating" Dep-re-cat-ing. It will make you funny, but it will also make you sad. Stop it. You are hurting yourself.

  - Criticism doesn't mean the person hates you. (Sometimes it does, but not usually.)

  - You can't fix everything that's broken. That includes people. And it's not your fault that they are that way, either.

  - You've got stories to tell, little me. Write them down as often as you can.

  Oh, and one last thing: Red wine and Nacho Cheese Doritos don't mix. They just don't.

  Did you get any of that? Yeah, I know it's confusing. Tell you what - remember the wine and Doritos thing. Everything else works out pretty much ok.

  Love,

  Older You.

  P.S. Do your Mom and me a favour? Take a business course in High School. One.

  * * * * *

  Dear 10 Year Old Nancy,

  You’re on the cusp of a lot of challenges, pain and moments of pure happiness. The choices you make today are going to affect who you become. Some will be harder than others but in the end, you’ll be a much stronger person than you thought you could be. I suppose I should let you know that you’re not going to be a teacher or an astronaut, but I think you’ll be happy with your career choices.

  As much as I want to warn you about things that are to come, I know you’ll ignore them and make the mistakes you’re going to make. You’re nearly a teen, it is expected. And I promise not to look in the mirror and tell the 39 year old you, “I told you so.”

  That said, there are only three things I really want you to know.

  First, your mom and dad love you in their way. Even though they won’t be able to say ‘I love you,’ they’ll show it in their actions. You can and will do better with your own child, a promise you will make in a few years and, thankfully, keep.

  Second, your sister will not abuse you forever. You will stand up to her with one act of desperation and she will stop being able to hurt you. This is the first glimmer of your future strength.

  Third, your grandmother will realize, too late, the mistakes she has made regarding you and will beg for your forgiveness. Find it in your heart to do so or it will continue to haunt you.

  You are a very creative, funny and amazing person when you don’t let yourself get in the way. Let people see the true you and you’ll find many more people will love and cherish you.

  39 Year Old Nancy

  * * * * *

  Hey Brother, I have a little advice for you.

  1. That TRS-80 you love so much is going to be important. Even if everyone thinks you spend too much time with it, you don’t.

  2. Keep track of your friends. You are going to wish you remembered them all one day. Write them down.

  3. Start taking photos early. Try to take some every day. Videos are even better.

  4. You love to read and that’s good. But do book reports for you, not just for your teachers. Keep a journal of the books you read and what you learned from them. Grade them.

  5. For that matter, grade your teachers. Be more concerned about helping them teach you and less concerned about the grade you get from them. Grade your teachers, but don’t tell them.

  6. Learn to introduce yourself. Be prepared to give a good impression.

  7. Realize that money is important, but it’s easier to get than self-discipline and not nearly as valuable. If you love the things you own too much, they end up owning you.

  8. You can tell which of your friends will lie about you by watching which ones will lie for you.

  9. Habits are hard to break. Resisting temptations might be hard, but quitting is harder. Saying no to the second time when you already said yes once is a lot harder than saying no the first time.

  10. Live light. And oh yeah, don’t just buy the Apple gear, buy the company and hold on to them shares!

  * * * * *

  Dear John,

  John. That's your only name right now. You will have many before long: Mad Jack, The Poobah, Mr. Phillips, Doctor Pogo.

  You painstakingly build the fire in the woodstove every cold night: newspaper twisted into logs until your hands are black with dark-smelling ink; twigs and sticks gathered in the yard and dried in the kindling box under the window; split logs bought by the cord, stacked in the shed, brought in by armful in the shivering twilight. Don't let Mama rush you much. The conversations you have with yourself while you are m
aking the fire are worth the time. The house will be warm enough soon.

  You enjoy putting things in boxes. Lifting the lid and seeing what's inside. Containers that are empty, containers that are locked, an entire taxonomy of objects in objects. The people you know won't continue to fit so easily in the shapes you have categorized them in.

  Worry less. Practice more.

  Play the drum more. Listen to the drum more. Enjoy running your fingers around the fresh white drumhead and hearing its scratchy voice. Enjoy its echo off the woodshed, the neighbors' house. Wave to them when they come outside.

  Go out and dig your fingers into the earth. Find the toys you buried.

  Worry less, man. It'll be all right.

  * * * * *

  Hey kiddo.

  I’ve got a lot to say without much space to say it in. I’ll do my best.

  Buy Apple, Google and Amazon. Then put your winnings away and don’t let a single cent of it touch your life until you’re 30. You’ll need the strength that comes from poverty much more than any amount of money.

  Life is lonely now and full of false harbors, but it will get easier. Don’t be ashamed to like what you like; that’s the only way you’ll be loved. And there are people out there who will love you for you. Trust me.

  Soon you’ll discover that you’ve got a sharp tongue and an eye for people’s weaknesses. Walk away from the temptation to shield yourself with these talents. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.

  You know how I said that life will get easier? Well, it will take a while. And it will get much worse first. Some people will have nasty things to say about you. Others will criticize, but their words will ring true. Don’t confuse the two. There’s something to be learned from the latter, but you’ll never see it if you dwell on the pain.

  Don’t rush through your life in search of some fated moment. Life is all about what happens in between the milestones, an endless array of ‘now’ that is yours to either savor or squander.

  -Future You