Four Absorbing Stories (SpongeBob SquarePants) Read online

juggle. A wave of panic washed over him.

  Time slowed to a crawl as SpongeBob braced

  himself for another failure. Then, out of the

  corner of his eye, SpongeBob noticed a familiar

  object sailing toward him.

  “My spatula!” he said wonderingly. “How did

  you get here?” And then, in a flash, SpongeBob

  knew what to do. “Just imagine that each ball is

  a delicious Krabby Patty,”

  he told himself. “You can do it, SpongeBob!”

  With lightning speed,

  SpongeBob caught the spatula

  and began to flip the balls,

  one after the other.

  “I’m doing it! I’m juggling!”

  he thought proudly.

  It was a beautiful sight!

  The crowd went wild.

  When the circus was over, the clownfish

  gathered around SpongeBob.

  “You’re a great clown, SpongeBob,” Al said.

  “But he’s an even better fry cook,” said a

  familiar voice.

  Mr. Krabs ran up. “I couldn’t leave

  without talking to you, SpongeBob. I need

  you at the Krusty Krab,” he said. “Nobody makes

  Krabby Patties like you do. Please come back to

  me, laddy!”

  SpongeBob looked at his spatula. Then

  he looked at his new friends. “You’re

  right, Mr. Krabs,” he finally said. “Let’s all

  go to the Krusty Krab!”

  Chapter 7

  Krabby Patties

  for Everyone!

  Pearl was very relieved to see SpongeBob

  back in his place at the stove. “Thank

  goodness,” she said. “This greasy kitchen is no

  place for a delicate girl like me.”

  SpongeBob got right to work and made

  Krabby Patties for everyone.

  “It’s good to be back, my mouth-watering

  mounds of fabulous flavor,” SpongeBob

  lovingly told a plate of patties. “I promise never

  to leave you again!”

  Then someone yelled out,

  “There is something wrong

  with my Krabby Patty!”

  It was the same cranky customer who didn’t

  like his Krabby Patty before. He had his ruler

  out again.

  “This bun is too small,” he said. “It should

  be—”

  SPLAT! Al hit him with a pie in the face.

  SPLASH! Shorty squirted him with water.

  “Thanks, guys!” SpongeBob said.

  “We’re clowns,” Al said, shrugging.

  “That’s what we do best.”

  SpongeBob smiled. “And I make

  Krabby Patties,” he said. “That’s what I

  do best. Right, Mr. Krabs?”

  “Right!” said Mr. Krabs. “Now stop

  clowning around and get back to work!”

  by Kitty Fross

  Illustrated by Gregg Schigiel

  The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie was written by

  Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Steve Hillenburg,

  Kent Osborne, Aaron Springer & Paul Tibbitt

  Chapters

  Chapter 1

  A Tale of Two Heroes

  Chapter 2

  Evil Doings A-Brewing

  Chapter 3

  You Don’t Need a License

  to Drive a Sandwich

  Chapter 4

  And the Award for “Most

  Pointless Award” Goes To

  Chapter 5

  From Boys to Men (and Back Again)

  Chapter 6

  A Hero’s Not Just a Sandwich

  A Tale of Two Heroes

  “It’s showtime!” SpongeBob SquarePants

  declared, as he strode into the Krusty Krab.

  “Yay! I can’t wait for my part!” Patrick Star,

  SpongeBob’s best friend, cheered.

  “Yep, it’s a big night, Pat,” said SpongeBob,

  nodding gravely. “Tonight we tell the world

  about our Epic Man Quest.”

  He walked over to the order microphone

  and turned up the volume full blast.

  “Your attention, please,” SpongeBob said.

  “We’re thrilled that so many of you showed up

  for our little presentation.”

  “Presentation?” a fish asked. “I’m here for

  the free food. Where’s

  my Krabby Patty sample?”

  Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob’s boss, leaned into

  the microphone. “Coming right up, just as soon

  as the show is over.”

  “Okay! If we start our program now,”

  SpongeBob said, “we should be ready to take

  your questions in six or seven hours, tops.”

  As several customers ran for the door,

  Squidward Tentacles groaned. “Mr. Krabs,” he

  whispered. “Why are you encouraging this?”

  “Well, Mr. Squidward, the boys did save

  me life,” Mr. Krabs replied. “Besides, this

  audience is going to need plenty of food and

  coffee to stay awake. With me special

  dinner-theater rates, I’ll make a fortune!”

  “Let us begin our story,” SpongeBob

  said dramatically. “Patrick, please

  distribute the handouts so that our

  audience can follow along.”

  SpongeBob peered intensely at the

  audience, then shouted, “Lights! Cue

  projector. Slide number one!”

  Evil Doings A-Brewing

  The room went dark. The projector

  hummed to life. SpongeBob began to tell the

  story of his great adventure:

  Ever since I was a little spongelet,

  I’ve known I was destined for glory. And then

  one day, it seemed as if all my dreams were

  coming true. After 374 consecutive Employee

  of the Month awards, I was going to be made

  manager of the brand-new Krusty Krab Two.

  Or so I thought.

  But

  Mr. Krabs, in

  his all-knowing

  knowledgeness,

  had other plans.

  He wasn’t

  looking for

  childlike

  enthusiasm, youthful energy, or

  boyish good looks. He had his sights set on

  maturity. And

  so he gave the

  promotion to

  Squidward

  instead.

  Of course, I took the news with my usual grace.

  SpongeBob flipped on the lights.

  “While we were busy at the Goofy Goober, evil

  doings were a-brewing at the Chum

  Bucket. Please direct your attention to

  the monitor now, for what I like to call Exhibit

  A. Observe.”

  A grainy image filled the TV screen and

  Plankton’s voice boomed from the speakers:

  “Time to put Plan Z into effect!”

  SpongeBob nodded knowingly, “That’s right,

  folks. Plankton was up to his old tricks. We

  don’t know exactly what happened next, but we

  have a pretty good idea. So we’ve created a little

  reenactment to bring it all to life for you. Patrick,

  if you will!”

  Patrick stepped forward. “Hello. My name is

  Plankton,” he read woodenly. “I have a plan to

  rule the world. I will steal Neptune’s crown. I

  will sell it to Shell City and frame Eugene Krabs.

  Then the secret formula for the Krabby Patty

  will be mine. I am an evil genius. Thank you.”

  You Don’t Need a License

>   to Drive a Sandwich

  “Oh my, folks! Didn’t that just give you goose

  bumps?” SpongeBob squeaked into

  the microphone.

  Another group of fish hurried towards the

  exit. Unaware, SpongeBob flipped the lights off

  and continued:

  King Neptune sure was mad when he discovered

  his crown had been stolen. Truth is, King

  Neptune is a little sensitive about his . . . ah . . .

  thinning hair.

  Neptune believed Plankton’s lie and thought

  Mr. Krabs was the thief. So someone had to go to

  Shell City and bring King Neptune’s crown back,

  or Mr. Krabs was toast—burnt toast. Luckily, I

  knew just the sponge for the job!

  Neptune gave me just ten days to get there

  and back. Then my good buddy Pat offered to

  join me, and he even bargained for time with

  King Neptune. And wouldn’t you know, he got

  old Neptune down from ten days to six!

  King Neptune’s daughter, Mindy, warned us

  about the crooks, killers, monsters, and the giant

  Cyclops that stood between us and victory. She

  told us about the poisonous gases in Shell City.

  And she even gave us a magical bag of winds to

  help us get back home with the crown.

  It was going to be dangerous. It was going to

  be scary. It was going to separate the men from

  the boys. But Patrick and I were fearless. We

  hopped in the Patty Wagon and headed for the

  border.

  Some people didn’t believe a couple of “kids”

  like us would stand a chance in the big bad

  world. But boy, did we prove

  them wrong!

  Sure, a big, tough dude stole our wheels.

  And sure, Plankton sent a meanie hit man

  guy named Dennis after us.

  But luck was

  still on our side.

  We soon found

  the Patty Wagon

  parked outside

  of this

  picturesque

  neighborhood

  tavern.

  Now all we had

  to do was retrieve

  our key. The

  problem

  was . . . how?

  The locals

  didn’t look

  too friendly.

  Well, you know how it is when you’ve got a

  problem to solve, and a soap dispenser catches

  your eye.

  One bubble led to another, and before we

  knew it, we had a full-blown bubble party on our

  hands!

  Turns out, the

  locals didn’t really

  care for bubbles.

  There’s just no

  pleasing some folks,

  I guess.

  It all worked out just fine, though. In all the

  ruckus, Patrick managed to grab the key, and we

  were back in business!

  And the Award for

  “Most Pointless Award”

  Goes To . . .

  Suddenly there came a

  hoarse whisper from Patrick:

  “SpongeBob, now? Is it time for

  the award?”

  “Well, OK, Pat,” SpongeBob

  replied.

  SpongeBob snapped on the lights, and

  Patrick stepped up to the microphone. “Uhhhh,

  I’m here to present a special award,” he said.

  “The Coolest Future Monarch of the Sea

  and Overall Hotty Award goes to—Princess

  Mindy!”

  There was a scattering of confused applause

  as an image of King Neptune’s daughter

  appeared on the monitor.

  “Thank you, Patrick,” Mindy said. “I’m sorry

  I can’t be there in person to accept this . . .

  really unusual award, but thanks for saving the

  world and everything. You guys are great!”

  “Wooooh! You rock my world, Mindy!”

  Patrick screamed at the top of his lungs.

  But the monitor had already faded to static.

  “Hey! What was the point of that?”

  someone in the audience grumbled.

  “I have no idea,” another fish replied,

  “But if I don’t get my free Krabby Patty

  soon, I’m out of here!”

  Mr. Krabs bustled over to the microphone.

  “I’ve got fresh coffee,” he announced. “Who’s

  ready for a refill?”

  A sea of hands shot up, and Mr. Krabs

  eagerly began pouring. “That’ll be $9 each,” he

  said cheerily.

  From Boys to Men

  (and Back Again)

  SpongeBob stepped back up to the

  microphone. “Now—back to our story. Hey,

  you’re all following along in your handouts,

  right?” A few fish riffled sullenly through their

  paper packets. SpongeBob continued:

  Mindy was right. The road to Shell City is

  paved with dangers, like muscle-bound bar

  bullies, sweet little old ice cream ladies who turn

  into vicious predators, and some third, even

  more dangerous thing that I can’t think of right

  now.

  We almost gave up hope when we got to

  this deep, dark, dangerous, monster-infested trench.

  But just when we were ready to turn around and

  go back home like a couple of kids, Mindy showed

  up and used her mermaid magic to give us the

  courage of MEN!

  With the power of our manly mustaches, we

  were unstoppable. Giant crabs and hideous sea

  monsters were no match for us!

  Then on

  the outskirts

  of Shell City,

  things got

  really exciting.

  First Dennis, the

  hit man, found us

  and ripped off our

  mustaches.

  And then just as

  he was about

  to stomp

  us, he got

  stomped

  himself . . .

  . . . by the

  evil Cyclops!

  Words can’t describe what happened then, which

  is why I’ve asked Patrick to handle the next part

  of the presentation.

  Patrick stepped

  forward. “OK, well,

  this is us getting

  snatched up by

  the Cyclops,”

  he explained.

  “And this is us

  waking up in a scary

  poison-gas-filled

  tank of death.”

  Patrick flipped to a new page. “Now this is

  the part where I defeat the Cyclops, and then

  Mindy shows up and gives me her phone

  number.”

  “Patrick,” SpongeBob hissed. “That didn’t

  happen!”

  Patrick shrugged. “You tell your part your

  way—I’ll tell my part mine.”

  A Hero’s Not

  Just a Sandwich

  “Boys,” Mr. Krabs broke in. “Yer losing me

  customers . . . I mean, yer audience. Maybe

  you should skip to the end!”

  “But this is the best part!” SpongeBob

  gasped. “This is the part where we realized that

  we’d actually made it to Shell City after all, and

  then the sea creatures came back to life and

  battled the evil Cyclops, and then we grabbed

  Neptune’s crown and ran for the dock, where

  we lost Mindy’s bag of winds . .
. ”

  “I know, SpongeBob, but . . . ,” Mr. Krabs

  interrupted.

  “ . . . and then the friendly lifeguard gave

  us a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and Dennis

  reappeared but we fought him off and returned

  the crown to Neptune only to

  discover that Plankton had enslaved

  everyone with his evil Chum Bucket helmets

  and turned everyone against us . . . ,” the

  unstoppable SpongeBob continued.

  “ . . . And then we saved the sea with the

  power of Rock ’n’ Roll, and Plankton went

  to jail, and I got to be manager after all!”

  SpongeBob concluded, finally stopping

  to breathe.

  “Yes, it’s a good story, laddy,” Mr. Krabs

  said consolingly. “But sleeping customers are

  bad for business. I think yer fans may be ready

  for a little break.”