Naughty Nautical Neighbors Read online

  Inside, Squidward groaned. “Let’s get this over with,” he said to himself, and opened the door.

  “Did you miss me?” SpongeBob asked with a grin.

  “Come on in!” Squidward replied cheerfully. “You look stunning!”

  SpongeBob beamed. “Gee, thanks! I’dmuch rather dine with you than that lousy … EEK!”

  SpongeBob looked across the room to see his ex-best friend, Patrick, sitting at the table!

  “Say, what gives? I’m not sitting near that maniac!” insisted SpongeBob.

  “Me either!” Patrick added. “This was a setup!”

  “But I thought you two were my best friends,” Squidward said innocently.

  “I am your best friend!” SpongeBob quickly said.

  “No, I am!” Patrick declared.

  “I am!” countered SpongeBob.

  “Enough!” Squidward screamed. Then, remembering his master plan, he sweetly said, “How about some appetizers, guys?”

  Patrick’s stomach growled.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” said Squidward.

  “Be right back,” he added, and headed into the kitchen to begin Plan A….

  SpongeBob reluctantly took a seat at the table. Immediately, he and Patrick had their backs to each other. Neither one was going to be the first to talk. It was silent for a few minutes, with the only noise coming from Patrick’s stomach. The tension in the room was worse than a sea of hungry anchovies.

  Luckily, Squidward came back from the kitchen. “Who wants some delicious Krabby Patties?” he asked, holding a plateful of mini burgers.

  “Oh! Me! Me!” SpongeBob and Patrick shouted at once. They each greedily grabbed a Krabby Patty off the plate.

  “Now, now,” Squidward began, “remember your manners. We’re all friends here, right?”

  SpongeBob put down the Krabby Patty he was holding. “I’m not friends with him,” he said, pointing to Patrick.

  Patrick grabbed SpongeBob’s Krabby Patty and swallowed it whole. “And I’m not friends with you, either,” Patrick told SpongeBob.

  “Then how come you ate my Krabby Patty?” asked SpongeBob.

  “I was hungry,” Patrick explained.

  Suddenly it was a mad dash for the Krabby Patties. SpongeBob grabbed a bunch of Krabby Patties in his arms while Patrick grabbed a bunch in his mouth.

  Squidward looked at the now empty plate he was holding. He didn’t even get to eat one Krabby Patty. He trudged back into the kitchen. “All right, Plan A didn’t work, so I guess it’s time for Plan B.”

  Squidward returned to the table with an old-fashioned soda bottle. “How about some soda?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes, please!” answered SpongeBob. He held out a cup. “Thanks, friend! Sluuurrp!”

  “How about some for your best friend?” Patrick asked Squidward, and held out his cup.

  But SpongeBob was sneaky and put his own cup under the nozzle first. “Thanks, best friend! Glug, glug, glug!”

  Patrick looked at Squidward and pleaded, “Can I have some now, buddy?”

  “Wait! I need some more!” SpongeBob demanded.

  “I still didn’t get any!” Patrick said angrily.

  SpongeBob took the few drops he had left in his cup and poured it into Patrick’s. “There you go!” he said. Then he looked at Squidward and added, “More, please!”

  Glug, glug, glug.

  “More, Squidward!” said Patrick.

  Glug, glug, glug.

  “More, Squidward!” said SpongeBob.

  Glug, glug, glug.

  “More, Squidward!” called Patrick.

  Glug, glug, glug.

  “More, Squidward!” called SpongeBob.

  Glug, glug, glug.

  “Squidward!”

  “Squidward!”

  SpongeBob and Patrick went through one cup of soda after another. Squidward could hardly keep up with them. It seemed that every time he filled one’s cup, the other one’s was empty.

  “Sorry, boys, I’m all out of soda,” Squidward finally said. “I’m going to get some more. Why don’t you two just stay here and chat?” he said with a sneaky smile, and quickly left.

  By this time, SpongeBob and Patrick were so full of soda that they looked like two huge balloons.

  “Hiccup!” said SpongeBob.

  Patrick tried his hardest not to laugh out loud.

  “Hiccup!” repeated SpongeBob.

  “Burp!” went Patrick.

  SpongeBob couldn’t help but giggle.

  Patrick couldn’t keep it in, either!

  All this burping and hiccuping started to make them laugh. And once they started laughing, there was no stopping them. Soon bubbles filled the whole room, and they both started to lift up into the air. They became lighter as they burped out all the gas from the soda.

  SpongeBob and Patrick were having so much fun, they forgot why they had even started arguing in the first place.

  As the two friends floated in the air, the bubbles kept multiplying. They filled the entire house. Soon the house became too full of bubbles. The house began to shake. It was ready to burst!

  Just then, Squidward returned home with more soda. He was about to put his key in the door when—KABOOM! Squidward’s house exploded!

  I should just walk away right now, Squidward told himself. He took a deep breath and fearfully opened the door. Once the bubbles cleared, Squidward looked around at what once was his house. Now it was mostly rubble; no walls were left, not to mention any of the furniture or paintings. The only thing left intact was the door.

  Squidward sighed. “What a surprise. I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned, today?” He glared at SpongeBob and Patrick, who were standing there, looking innocent.

  “Guess what, Squidward?” SpongeBob said excitedly.

  “Oh, this should be good … ,” mumbled Squidward.

  Patrick piped up. “Me and SpongeBob are friends again!”

  “Great. Go be friends somewhere else,” replied Squidward through his teeth.

  “Don’t you want us to help you clean this up a little?” asked SpongeBob.

  “NO! OUT!” Squidward shouted.

  SpongeBob and Patrick quickly made their way out past Squidward.

  “Psst!” SpongeBob whispered to Patrick. “I think he’s jealous.”

  “How pathetic,” Patrick whispered. “Come on. Let’s get our bottles of bubbles!”

  Squidward slammed the door once they left. A leftover bubble floated by and popped when it hit the door.

  BAM!

  The door fell over—and right on top of Squidward. “Oh! My back!” he cried. “I’ll get you, SpongeBob—once I can move!”

  Once again, SpongeBob SquarePants had ruined everything of Squidward’s—his back, his house, and especially his day!