The Canes Files Read online

  This was more than a friend, Barker thought. An excitement he could barely contain crept over him. It was enough evidence to go on. He turned looking over the rest of the room. He paused on a single piece of folded notebook paper.

  He unfolded it and read:

  The journey will kill me. I cannot imagine a moment without you in my arms. A lifetime is not worth living if you do not follow me. I know it to be wrong, but what is right, if my heart breaks into pieces, I will not live a moment. You are the glue to my world. Please consider the journey.

  Love Tiam,

  Barker had found the pot at the end of the rainbow. He knew the story now. He tucked the note into his pocket. He closed the door gently and moved down the stairs.

  The cat stood at the bottom waiting for him. He was holding a single glass of tea in his paw. “What were you doing, sir?” he asked, but never made eye contact.

  “I had an urge to use the bathroom. I could not find one on the lower level,” Barker lied. “I will be going now. I have everything I came for.” The cat looked relieved. He dropped the worry from his face. “Oh, I am glad I could help,” the cat said. Barker shook his head and stepped back into the open world.

  The sun still shone in the sky, and Barker again found himself elated by its rays.

  4.

  The precinct was nothing fancy. They were sanctioned by the regular patrol by a partition. Barker on a busy day could still hear the scanner ramblings. He was accustomed to bringing in earplugs now. They also came in handy when Psitticus was rambling on.

  Barker walked in through the side door. It jammed in mid-swing. “Hello?” he yelled in through the crack. “Sorry about that, Barker,” Lucky said. He jumped up from his seat and moved the filing cabinet. “Just forgot to shut the drawer,” he said and looked quickly away.

  Barker didn’t bother to talk with him. He looked into Psitticus’s office. The Parrot was screeching into the phone. Barker moved towards the door.

  He didn’t bother to knock. Psitticus was the head detective, but only out of default. Barker sat down across from him.

  Psitticus stopped in mid-sentence. “Can I help you, Barker?” he asked. Barker leaned back. “Oh no, at your leisure, sir, I am sure your mother has very important evidence for a case.” Barker smiled.

  “I will call you back,” Psitticus paused and looked at Barker. “I love you too, mom,” Psitticus hung up the phone. “This had better be good, Barker.”

  Barker adjusted his collar. It would be good for Psitticus to gather up some anger. Barker thought maybe a good heart attack, and he could just report to himself.

  “Well, if you're not going to talk, then you can go.” Psitticus started. Barker interjected. “I solved the case. While you were sitting in the office chatting.” Barker propped his legs on the desk. Psitticus didn’t look less angry. In fact, he was probably more flushed now.

  “You solved the case?” Psitticus stumbled. His face didn’t look very convinced. “Indeed,” Barker said. He made sure to avoid eye contact. He knew how much Psitticus hated that fact.

  “The case of the Water Lily?” Psitticus asked. Barker leaned forward. “Unless there was some other secret case, then yes, that one.” Barker flashed his long white teeth. Psitticus grunted and leaned back.

  “You know, Barker, you are unconventional. That would bother a lot of people. Your ego is bigger than deserved. You are insubordinate. These things would bother a lot of people.” Barker tried not to smile again.

  “I, on the other hand, see your work. You may put on a front, but you really dig down deep.” Psitticus stood to his feet and moved around the desk. He tapped on the glass and motioned for Lucky to join them.

  “Lucky, Barker here has solved the case.” Lucky looked down with shame on his face. “I tried my best, sir.” Psitticus wasn’t listening to Lucky. No one ever did.

  “So, let us hear the deduction. I want to know every detail.” Barker could tell Psitticus still had no belief in him.

  “I need two things from you, Psitticus.” Barker slammed his legs down onto the floor. “One, I need time in the church alone. I need you to control the crowd. Because when I announce the culprit, there will be trouble.” Psitticus nodded. He wasn’t committing, he was still just pushing Barker’s buttons.

  “Two, I need you to file the paperwork to retire. Because I should be running this place,” Barker stood and patted Psitticus on the shoulder. “Oh and Three! The culprit is at the Priest house. You may want to gather him up first.”

  He didn’t stick around to hear what Psitticus had to say. He would lay into Lucky. The poor guy was the grunt of the operation. Barker didn’t care though, Psitticus was gaining on old father time, and soon Lucky could just stay at home.

  Barker walked out the small precinct again into the sun. He was pleased with how nice the day turned out to be. He stretched his arms and walked up the sidewalk path.

  He would meet the others at the church. Then he would solve the crime. It really was just a fantastic day.

  5.

  Barker had to wade through the gathering crowd. He was almost shocked no riots had started. Usually, by now the church doors would be swung open. The Priest would ramble about some nonsense. Then the gates would be opened to those whose pockets ran deepest.

  Instead, the white doors stood closed. The white building vacant; aside from one scared Priest. Barker parted another small group.

  They didn’t bother with him. Their attention was on those doors. Rumblings were starting in small pockets, but mostly it was a calm wait.

  Barker moved up the stairs and into the smallest section of the crowd. Here the crowd started to push back. This would be the section of individuals who had paid to enter. Barker pushed them back, flashing his detective star.

  Some saw the badge and moved. Other’s grumbled and stood their ground. Barker didn’t care about their protest. He pushed on the handle of the church. It was locked from the inside. He pounded on the door with his paw.

  “Open up, Tiam! This is Detective Barker.” The crowd behind waited with baited breath. “Tiam, I need to speak with you now…” the door began to open. Tiam stood with stress apparent upon his face.

  “Hurry in, detective,” he said, not bothering to look at the growing crowd. Barker threw his paw into the air. “All will be explained soon,” he announced and moved into the depths of the chapel.

  “Have you found the gem?” the Priest looked disheveled. Barker thumbed his collar. “You have a nice home, Tiam,” he said moving towards the golden lined pews.

  “Excuse me?” the Priest said. Barker turned, running his paw across the backing. “Oh, I was just commenting on your living residence.” Tiam looked confused.

  “I am not sure why you are talking about my home detective?” he said, rightly confused. Barker nodded. He then reached into his pocket pulling out a small, folded paper.

  “I took a trip out to your neighborhood. It is a nice place. Good neighbors, I assume?” he said, flipping the paper into his other paw. Tiam’s eyes followed the paper.

  “The neighbors are fine, yes. I am not sure what this has to do with the Water Lily?” he said. Barker closed his hands around the paper.

  “The doctrine of the Water Lily church does not allow for marriage by a Priest, correct?” Barker asked. Tiam nodded his answer. “I thought as much. It also does not allow for relationships, correct?” again, Tiam nodded. “I see, and yet, I found something quite interesting in your residence.”

  Barker paused and opened his hand again. Tiam’s face looked even more stressed. “How does your congression feel about same-sex relationships?” Barker asked. Tiam didn’t answer. “You see, I am for them. I say to each their own. If one loves another, then love away.” Barker fiddled around with the paper again.

  Tiam was silent. His eyes glued to the paper in Barker’s hands. “The people outside, do they feel the same?” Barker asked. He started to unfold the item in his hand. He could tell by the look in Tiam’s ey
es, that he recognized the writing.

  “I do not know how you got that, but this is my personal property,” Tiam said, his paw rising to grab the paper. Barker refolded the paper and placed it in his pocket.

  “I thought as much. Now the way I see this situation concluding is one of two ways.” Barker relaxed his shoulders and leaned against the pew.

  “The first way and I do prefer this. The first is you go silently with me. You admit to stealing the gem. You go away into protective care. You live your days out in some remote location.” Barker tapped his pocket. “Or two, and really this is gruesome. I walk out those doors and convince a thousand people you stole the gem. Because I don’t need anything more.” He patted his pocket again. “A foreign Priest, with a foreign lover; it is basic work. The crowd will be able to place the evidence together on their own.”

  Tiam shook his head. “I didn’t do it.” He said. Barker shrugged his shoulders. “No one ever does.” He said. Tiam adamantly shook his head. “They will believe I didn’t do it!” he was bordering hysterical.

  Barker patted his pocket again. “I am afraid not Tiam. People are very unforgiving. Better to count your losses. I’ll tell you what. You go in quietly I will even let the brown catwalk free. No one will be the wiser of your relationship.” Tiam stopped his head shaking.

  “You will keep silent about him?” Barker shrugged. “I can do at least that.” Tiam paused a moment. Barker pushed off from the pew. “We can go through the back way. I am sure you will be wanting to avoid the crowd.”

  A few minutes under the twenty that Barker had asked for, Tiam the cat walked through the back door of the church. Waiting outside was detective Psitticus with a look of shock on his face. Barker passed the cat to the bird. “You will find him very open to questioning,” Barker said. Psitticus nodded and took the cat.

  “Remember your promise, detective.” The cat said. Psitticus paused. “Promise?” he asked. Barker shrugged and turned away. “I will calm the crowd. Move them on their way.” He said. Then he turned into the rays of the sun, walking back towards the front of the church.

  6.

  The Priest, Tiam, confessed to everything an hour later. Barker wrote up the report. Lucky was instructed to drive Mr. Brown Cat home. He would be leaving for the mountains by nightfall. The others were still confused how he fits, but Barker kept his word.

  Tiam was taken off to some remote lockdown. Barker would never hear from him again. As for the Water Lily, it was long gone. It had probably made someone a lot richer.

  “Good job, Barker,” said Psitticus. Barker looked up from his report. “When have you known me to fail?” Barker said. The parrot shrugged. “Like I said, Barker, if it wasn’t for your track record, you would be a homeless beggar.” Psitticus moved around to the other side of the desk.

  “Lucky has not made it back?” he asked. Barker looked up again. He didn’t keep track on the dopey fellow. He shrugged. “Do you see him?” he added.

  “Just strange, that house isn’t but ten minutes from here.” He flipped open his phone. “No calls,” Psitticus looked out the window. “Oh well, probably just traffic.” He put his phone back into his pocket. “Good job again, Barker,” he said and closed the door to his office behind him.

  Barker sighed and leaned back. He had finished the report already. He was just not interested in the conversation skills of that yapping bird.

  He looked back making sure Psitticus was comfortable in his chair. His head was down and his eyes shut. That meant he wasn’t moving for the next few hours. Barker stood and grabbed his hat. Fixing his collar he stepped out into the night air.

  The rays of the sun were gone. Barker had solved another case. Soon things would be different for this little hole in the wall. Barker swung his coat across his shoulders and walked off into the night.

  7.

  News Day Report:

  A fatal car crash has been reported:

  Detective Lucky was found in a single car accident this evening. His remains were identified by his Chief, Detective Psitticus. Any other details will be forthcoming soon.

  The Adventures of Vulpecula

  Episode One

  The Grand Illusion

  1.

  Stillness befell the winds, and a settled, lukewarm temperature brushed up against the fur of nearby bystanders. Say what you will, the meteorologists yelled to the skies that this day would mark the end of Acera’s frivolous weather patterns, and that seemed to be the case. Vulpecula Noel took complete refuge in these ideas of grandeur, taking a rarity and putting his faith in optimism. He had grown tired of the weather and its inconsistencies, being unable to decide between rain, misting, sleet, heavy winds, or even snow-storms.

  Spring was upon them, and he and his friends welcomed it with open-arms.

  Above all else, Vulpecula wanted to return to work on his cases. While still considered a rookie when it came to his detective work, because his father was Hensley Noel, it wasn’t too difficult for him to get clientele.

  However, in recent days, clarity came, and he found that the weather meant even criminals didn’t feel like leaving the house. He did have one case though, in the rainy weather which he found to be an absolute experience. There is something to be said for the thinkers that did their work inside of small cubicles or bedrooms, but Vulpecula wasn’t one of them.

  He couldn’t sit still very well, and it just wasn’t for him.

  Thankfully, the sun was once again ready to shine upon them and without further ado, the good fortune would continue as Vulpecula was even welcomed with a case.

  “Everything feels so much merrier outside now, it’s funny but one really does feel happier in the summertime.” Apus confessed, beholding the scenery filled with trees beside houses and a steady number of vehicles carrying traffic on the roads. There was never too much traffic in Acera; after all, it is the smallest of the five major cities in Maharris.

  “There is never anything to do when its wet out, just cooped in a cruddy room at a hotel all day,” Lacerta retorted.

  Vulpecula hardly thought that the hotels at the Sidian Inn were cruddy but cared too little to argue. Instead, Vulpecula stared down at the sidewalk before him, noticing all the cracks and crevices, while, at the same time, trying to approximate how much further they would have to go.

  “I think there is probably something psychological about it, I mean, besides merely that someone isn’t able to go outside. The obstruction of the sun probably induces a feeling of pessimism that carries itself in each person.”

  Vulpecula found himself once again throwing strong recognition over Apus’ intelligence, citing it as a strong attribute in the trio’s problem-solving capabilities. However, once more, he cared not about the discussions that they were having. And so, he spoke: “Where is this McKinley Halls, and are we getting anywhere closer to it?”

  “It won’t be much further now, it isn’t far, and after all, we’ve only been walking for a couple of minutes.” Lacerta responded at once, then, turned his head away from Vulpecula and back to the sidewalk ahead of them.

  Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot … Vulpecula took a moment to appreciate that all three of their footsteps had become synchronized. Noel was feeling admittedly antsy, wanting so desperately to have something to sink his teeth into.

  “Apus, you received this email from Eric Leon, correct?” Vulpecula began and ended, before starting up once more without waiting for an answer. “Eric Leon messaged last night at around eleven o’clock at night and said, as follows, excluding formal salutations: ‘I am writing this because I know that Vulpecula has proven dignified in his short tenure in dealing with unknown mysteries. While I have only read what the newspapers will share with me, I believe that you will likely find this one to be the strangest of all the cases that you have experienced. The sensitivity of this case is all too noteworthy to discuss the confines in a message over the internet.’ Then, of course, it is followed by the closing remarks, as well
as information about McKinley Halls, is that correct?”

  “Amazing,” Apus starts out before Lacerta interrupts. “You can remember word-for-word something that Apus read out to both of us, but can’t name the mayor of Acera, a place that you have lived for all of your life?”

  “Lacerta, I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast before we left,” Vulpecula admitted shamelessly. It was true, Vulpecula had the memory of an elephant, but the unfortunate truth is that the elephant had long been dead. What did the attentive detective say when the elephant tried to stealthily trample past him? He didn’t say anything because he didn’t even notice. And this was the biggest reason out of all of them that Lacerta and Apus were necessary elements in the Vulpecian formula.

  “I didn’t have an opportunity to acquire Rescue’s Tribune, I’m afraid, so we’ll be going into this blindly.” Apus confessed.

  “As I prefer, … the Rescue Tribune is filled with propaganda in the same ways as the newspapers printed out by the Canes Vinatici were, the only difference is Rescue does the courtesy of actually trying to obscure itself.”

  “Rescue Tribune has written many articles about our successes so far, they did a full-page article telling about how we solved our first case, and since then, all of our cases have at least been given short-summaries.” Apus pointed out confidently.

  “In the same articles writing about our successes, they referred to yours truly as ‘nonsensical and unnecessarily rebellious’.”

  They arrived at McKinley Halls after more minutes of small discussion and beheld the audacity that the building carried with it. Vulpecula hadn’t really known what to expect, but for whatever reason, he never once gave thought to the idea McKinley Halls might be a fair-sized theater. There was a big sign at the top of the building that said ‘McKinley Halls’ with a sculpture of a human sitting in a chair eating popcorn on top of it. Vulpecula couldn’t help but find some amusement in the idea of human sitting in a chair and watching a movie. Below the sign and the sculpture was a marquee which read as such: