Wicked Firsts Read online

  Surely she didn’t think she needed to fuss over her makeup and hair?

  Yeah, he was male enough to appreciate her beauty, but it wasn’t what made her so fascinating.

  Or why he was so desperate to have her back in his arms.

  He’d known a hundred beautiful females who hadn’t made him look twice.

  On the point of barging his way into the bathroom and hauling her back to the bed—or maybe he’d just lure her into the shower—the connecting door was shoved open.

  “At last—” His words came to a sharp halt, his brows snapping together at the sight of Madison wearing a casual yellow sundress with a scooped neckline and spaghetti straps. Her hair pulled into a simple ponytail. “Why are you dressed?”

  Opening a large Gucci bag, she set it on a chair and began collecting her clothes that were scattered over the carpet.

  “I think that should be obvious.”

  Luc watched her jerky movements with a strange sense of incredulity. Was this the same woman who’d just shattered in his arms? Who’d cried out his name at the height of her pleasure?

  “Obvious to whom?” he demanded. “Certainly not me.”

  She shoved her gown and shoes into the bag, not even glancing in his direction. “I’ve done what I came to do and now I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?” His sluggish thoughts struggled to make sense of this abrupt change from lover to stranger. “You said this was your room.”

  “I paid for the night.” She at last turned to face him, her expression unreadable. “Feel free to stay if you want.”

  With an impatient growl, Luc shoved himself off the bed, stalking toward her. “What the hell is going on here?”

  She tilted her chin, her body rigid. “Come on, Luc. You’re an intelligent man.”

  He halted directly in front of her. “I used to think so, but clearly there’s something wrong with my brain since I can’t think of one reason you aren’t in this bed with me.”

  “I told you, I finished what I came to Vegas to do.”

  Luc flicked his gaze toward the packed bag before returning to Madison’s aloof expression. Anger abruptly replaced his confusion.

  She was packing to leave.

  “You came to screw me?” he snarled.

  “To seduce you,” she corrected.

  “Why?” He glared at her in disbelief. “You wanted a quickie for old times’ sake?”

  She kept her chin at a defiant angle, but Luc didn’t miss her covert step away from his tightly coiled body.

  “I wanted you to feel what it’s like to be lying in a bed when someone else walks away.”

  “Son of a bitch,” he breathed, suddenly remembering his earlier suspicion that Madison was hiding something from him. Now he knew. “This was revenge sex.”

  “Precisely.” A sweet smile curved the lush lips he’d so recently imagined wrapped around his cock, but it did nothing to warm the cold hazel eyes. She grabbed her bag. “Goodbye, Luc.”

  Luc was standing in front of the door before he even realized he was moving. “I don’t think so.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Get out of my way.”

  He folded his arms over his naked chest, his gaze taking in the frantic pulse at the base of her throat.

  So. She wasn’t the ice queen she was pretending to be.

  “No,” he said, grabbing her by the waist and tossing her over his shoulder.

  He hadn’t built a financial empire without developing the ability to take command of a situation.

  No matter how crazy-ass the situation might be.

  “Stop,” she rasped, slamming her fists against his back. “What are you doing?”

  With a smooth motion he had her off his shoulder and dumped onto the mattress. She landed with a furious gasp, tangled in her yellow silk dress.

  “You’re not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong with you,” he warned.

  “Wrong with me?” She shoved herself onto her elbows, glaring at him with a combination of fury and something that might have been fear. Not of him. She had to know he’d never do anything to hurt her. At least not physically. Her fear was of losing control of the situation. “You’re the lunatic who won’t let me leave.”

  “I will once I have the truth.”

  Her lashes swept down, hiding her eyes. “I told you the truth.”

  “That you spent the past eight years plotting revenge because I hurt your feelings?” he demanded, anger still clouding his mind.

  “You humiliated me,” she muttered, refusing to meet his outraged stare. “And I didn’t spend eight years plotting. As you pointed out, I’ve built a successful career. That doesn’t happen without dedicated attention to my work.”

  “Exactly,” he snapped. “Which means you should have outgrown this petty need for vengeance a long time ago.”

  She hunched a shoulder. “You ruined what should have been a special occasion.”

  He had.

  There was no denying he’d botched the entire night. Starting with showing up at the trailer in the first place. He’d known she was innocent, and that she would expect more than he could offer at that time.

  Still it seemed extreme to devote eight years to payback.

  In fact, it seemed preposterous.

  He frowned, forcing aside the fury clouding his mind.

  Madison wasn’t a bunny-burner. She was intelligent, driven, and successful on a level that only a small percentage of people ever achieved.

  So why be obsessed with one lousy jackass from her past?

  “No.” He gave a sharp shake of his head. His disreputable past as a womanizer meant he understood human nature. Especially when it came to the fairer sex. This wasn’t adding up. “There’s more to this.”

  She turned her head to glare at the far wall, a brittle tension vibrating around her. “If you insist on this pointless conversation, would you put on some clothes?”

  He snorted. “Why? Does my body bother you?”

  “I’m tired of seeing you naked.”

  “Odd,” he purred, his gaze sliding down her slender form. The sundress had twisted around her thighs, revealing the spectacular length of her legs. Legs that had recently wrapped around his waist as he’d pounded into her. “Just a half hour ago you couldn’t wait to see me naked,” he reminded her, taking pleasure as she flinched. “And you certainly weren’t complaining about my lack of clothes when I was buried deep inside your body and you were groaning in pleasure.”

  She jerked her head back to meet his mocking gaze, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

  “No one could ever claim you aren’t a stud who knows how to use his equipment. You’ve practiced enough, after all.”

  His eyes narrowed at the hostility that edged her voice. “That’s it.”

  She frowned. “What?”

  “That bitterness,” he said. “It’s more than a woman disappointed at having her virginity taken by an immature son of a bitch.”

  Her breath caught, her gaze becoming wary. “No. You just can’t accept that for once you are the one being used and dumped.”

  “I’ve been used more times than I can count,” he dryly assured her. Women weren’t the only ones who were chosen just because of their looks. “Certainly enough times to know the difference between a woman who is just looking to scratch an itch and one who is so consumed with need for me she melts at my touch.”

  “Arrogant bastard,” she muttered, scrambling off the far side of the bed and heading toward the door.

  Once again he moved to block her path, lightly grasping her upper arms to halt her retreat.

  “Why, Maddy?”

  The hazel eyes flashed with an emotion impossible to decipher. “My name is Madison.”

  “You’ll always be Maddy to me.” His voice lowered, his gaze stroking over the features that were astonishingly familiar despite their eight year separation. Almost as if they’d been held as a precious treasure in his mind. “The young beauty who wore her secondhan
d clothes with such pride and dignity you outshone every other girl in school. The girl who was too shy to say hello, but watched me with those big, innocent eyes. The girl who should have been crushed by the crappy hand she’d been dealt, but instead had the courage to leave behind her past and create a new life.” He gave a slow shake of his head. “Only you haven’t left the past behind. Have you?”

  She tried to pull out of his grasp, her eyes clouding with something that might have been panic.

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Tell me what’s going on, Maddy,” he commanded, his voice harsh with frustration. “There has to be more than revenge that brought you to Vegas.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Madison whirled away from her tormentor and paced toward the center of the hotel room.

  Dammit. Nothing was going right.

  He was supposed to be lying in the bed, too stunned by her abrupt departure to do anything but watch her walk away in silence.

  And then…

  Well, her imagination hadn’t gone beyond that moment, but she’d assumed that she would return to New York; a woman at last at peace with her past.

  Instead, Luc refused to let her leave the room, badgering her with questions that he had no right to ask.

  Spinning back around, she sent Luc a glare, doing her best to ignore the bronzed, shockingly beautiful male body.

  It would have been easier if she wasn’t abruptly fantasizing about running her lips over those washboard abs and allowing her tongue to tease his cock back to full, erect glory.

  A heat bloomed between her legs, making her hands clench in frustration.

  No, no, no.

  Tonight was about new beginnings…not indulging her senses with Luc Angeli.

  Even if her entire body ached to feel his touch.

  “Why do you have to ruin this?” she growled.

  He scowled, as if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. “Ruin what?”

  She pointed toward the door. “My walk-away.”

  His brows arched. “Your what?”

  “My walk-away.”

  “Christ, Maddy.” He shoved his fingers through tousled hair, managing to look completely baffled. “What are you talking about now?”

  “When you left me I allowed you to make your grand exit,” she said, torn between punching him in the nose and kissing him. “But you just had to be a bully and take mine away.”

  His expression softened as he finally understood why she was so pissed, but did he move aside and allow her to walk away with some dignity?

  No.

  He stubbornly paced to stand directly in front of her, his hands framing her face in a gentle grasp.

  “Because this isn’t you,” he murmured, his thumb brushing her lower lip. “You aren’t cruel. You don’t deliberately try to hurt people.” His lips twisted in a wry smile. “Not even those people who might deserve it.”

  The heat from his body blasted through the thin silk of her dress, a raw surge of need making her shiver.

  “I—”

  His brows snapped together as her words trailed away. “Maddy, for god’s sake,” he rasped. “Tell me the truth.”

  She ground her teeth together. Dammit. Obviously, the only way she was getting out of the hotel room was to give him what he wanted.

  Pigheaded pain in the ass.

  “I want you out of my head,” she said, offering him the stark truth he claimed to want.

  He blinked. Then blinked again. “You mean the memory of that night?”

  She planted her hands on her hips. “No, the memory of you.”

  He flinched, as if he were bothered by her confession. “Did I truly hurt you that badly?”

  “I was hurt and humiliated when you walked out, but it’s…”

  “What?”

  She hunched her shoulder, her cheeks heating with embarrassment. “I can’t enjoy myself with another man.”

  There was a startled silence, Luc searching her carefully composed expression. “You don’t like men?”

  “Of course I like men,” she snapped, deliberately narrowing her gaze. “When they aren’t being jackasses.”

  He rolled his eyes at her inability to resist another jab. “Then explain what the hell you’re talking about.”

  Unable to reveal her darkest secret while being watched by Luc’s piercing dark gaze, she turned to pace toward the windows overlooking Vegas.

  “Over the years I’ve met dozens of wonderful men,” she said, her voice so low Luc had to move closer to hear her. “Handsome, successful, charming.”

  His breath brushed the bare skin of her shoulder. “You didn’t like any of them?”

  She grimaced. A part of her wished she could say that she’d chosen a string of complete losers. That would easily explain why she hadn’t managed to create a lasting relationship. Unfortunately, there had been more than one man who should have been perfect for her.

  “Actually I liked several,” she grudgingly admitted. “A few I even dated for several months.”

  He was close enough behind her that she could feel him tense, almost as if he didn’t like her talking about other men.

  Which was stupid considering he was the one who’d forced this unpleasant conversation.

  “Why didn’t the relationships last?” he asked.

  “Because I couldn’t—” The words stuck in her throat.

  “What?”

  “Orgasm,” she at last spit out, unable to resist watching his reaction in the reflection of the window. “Are you happy?”

  Shock rippled over his fiercely beautiful face, swiftly followed by a frown of disbelief.

  “Why would I be happy?”

  She hunched her shoulder, feeling raw and exposed now that the truth was out. “You’ve obviously spoiled me for other men.”

  She expected smug contentment. Didn’t most men long to think that they were such fantastic studs that no other man could satisfy their previous lovers?

  Instead, Luc appeared troubled. Grabbing her shoulders, he turned her to meet his searching gaze.

  “Because I walked out?” he demanded, his voice thick with regret. “Are you afraid the men will hurt you?”

  It would be so easy to say yes. To let him think that he’d destroyed her life by leaving her that night. She sensed that far from being proud at her inability to find pleasure with another man, it would truly torture him to believe he’d caused such damage.

  But he was right.

  She’d never been deliberately cruel.

  “I don’t know.” She gave a helpless shake of her head. “I can date a guy, enjoy his company, and even be aroused when we go to bed, but then…” She sucked in a deep breath. “Then suddenly my mind is filled with images of you touching and kissing me and the moment is lost.”

  He took a second to analyze her words before his fingers tightened on her arms, his eyes narrowing.

  “And because I happened to pop up in your sexual fantasies, you returned to Vegas to sleep with me again?” he rasped. “Is that supposed to make sense?”

  She licked her dry lips, her breath catching as his gaze was dragged downward to watch the unconsciously provocative movement.

  “I thought…” She grimaced. It was going to sound stupid no matter how she said it. “I hoped that once I’d slept with you and walked away I would feel…empowered.”

  His brows arched. “Empowered?”

  Yep. It sounded stupid.

  She clicked her tongue with impatience. “It was supposed to be an exorcism that would get you out of my head for good.”

  The dark eyes flared with a sudden fury. “Of all the asinine—” He bit off his angry words, sucking in a deep breath. “Did you ever consider the fact that your inability to enjoy intimacy with a man has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you?”

  She pulled out of his grip, her chin tilting to a defiant angle.

  “What are you implying?”

  “I’m not implying anything. I’m s
aying that there are two obvious explanations.”

  She met his smoldering gaze without flinching. Maybe she’d been an idiot to return to Vegas, but she’d be damned if she let Luc intimidate her.

  “Fine.” She folded her arms over her stomach, wishing to hell he’d put some clothes on. “Let’s hear your brilliant psychoanalysis.”

  A portion of his anger seemed to ease at her taunting tone, his hand reaching to cup her chin. Did he sense her defensive vulnerability?

  “It’s possible that you used the memory of me as a subconscious method of keeping other men at a distance,” he said, holding her derisive gaze. “Making me the bad guy was easier than admitting that you couldn’t open yourself up enough to reach your climax.”

  “So why would I be able to—”

  “Orgasm with me?” He finished her sentence, his lips twitching with a wry amusement at the heat that stained her cheeks.

  She scowled. “Yes.”

  “Because you trusted me.”

  She snorted at his ridiculous explanation. “Then more the fool me.”

  He grimaced at yet another reminder of his jackass behavior. “You trusted that I wasn’t going to press for more than you were willing to offer,” he clarified. “In your mind I was the guy who loved ‘em and left ‘em. No danger to your closely guarded heart.”

  Madison barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn’t about to admit that far from believing he was going to love and leave her, she’d devoted endless hours to fantasizing over the moment that Luc Angeli, the Dark Angel, would realize she was his one and only soul mate.

  She’d truly thought she was the woman to tame the bad boy.

  What an idiot.

  “So I want to be alone?” she instead played along.

  “You want a life where you’re in complete control.” He stepped closer, watching her tense as the heat of his naked body wrapped around her. “Not surprising. You were abandoned by your mother. It had to leave you with a fear of opening yourself up to anyone.”

  Her lips thinned. Logically she knew her past had been a driving force in leaving Vegas, as well as in her success in her career. She’d been obsessed with the need to build a sense of security.

  But she’d never been bitter.