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  She caught herself before she said any more. No whinging, she reminded herself. It was one of her personal rules. No matter how bad things got, she focused on the good, and simply got on with it. She did not question the policy, the rules, the mission or the politics. It had been her choice to join up. She had become expert at using it all to keep her mind off the things she did not want to remember. It worked for her.

  She noticed that Kate was observing her with a concerned look in her eyes, and she smiled at her and touched her arm briefly.

  "Don't worry doc. Just need a shower and some sleep, that's all."

  Kate reached under her bed and retrieved a small bottle of shampoo she pressed into Tyler’s hand.

  "Here, take this. A present for you, to make you feel better," she said with a smile.

  Tyler's eyes sparkled.

  “Body Shop?" she exclaimed. "Cool! Where did you get that?"

  “My friend Marion sent me some. She hates being stuck in the field almost as much as I do,” Kate replied, laughing.

  “That’s nice of her. She’s your friend? In the army?”

  “Yes, she’s a medic as well. We trained together back in the UK. ”

  Tyler nodded a little and remained rooted to the spot. She was silent.

  “Just so you know, she’s not my girlfriend,” Kate added, volunteering the information because she suspected Tyler would never have the nerve to ask her such a personal question.

  Someone had to make the first move in these situations and she did not mind taking the lead. She moved closer to her, her voice barely a whisper now.

  “What about you?”

  Tyler frowned a little, her eyes roaming over Kate's face as if she had not understood the question.

  “Me what?”

  "Are you single?”

  "Yeah."

  “Well, that's good to know. But you like women, right?”

  Tyler tensed and instinctively threw a worried look toward the flimsy canvas door.

  “No one here but us,” Kate reassured her. “So. Tell me?”

  Tyler sighed. Razor sharp and straight to the point as usual. She had to admit that she really liked that about Kate.

  “Yes, I do like women,” she said slowly. “But you knew that already.”

  “I was hoping,” Kate said, and she laughed when she saw the funny look that Tyler gave her. “I mean, it is nice to be amongst friends,” she explained. “Know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, I know,” Tyler replied, just standing there, facing her. “It‘s nice.”

  She looked a little bit thoughtful, and a little bit distant as she said that, and far from convinced. Kate narrowed her eyes at her and got even closer.

  “So how come you don’t have a girlfriend?” she murmured.

  Tyler took a little step back.

  “My lifestyle isn‘t very conducive to relationships,” she said simply.

  She could not help but grin when Kate took a very obvious, and very deliberate step toward her.

  "Ah, come on captain," she insisted, "it's me you're talking to. No bullshit."

  She was smiling, and teasing, and careful not to push too hard, and yet there was no doubt that the interest in her eyes was genuine, and her smile went straight through Tyler’s heart. She could do nothing but stare. This woman did care, she suddenly realised. She really wanted to know. To know her.

  Suddenly she felt her chest constrict a little.

  "That's just the way it is," she said softly, as if to herself.

  She gave Kate a little squeeze on the shoulder as she walked past.

  She needed to be alone.

  “Thanks for the shampoo, doc.”

  Chapter Four

  A few days later on what happened to be her birthday, Kate was out with the troop on another so called routine patrol. It all felt like second nature to her by then, yet she was far from complacent.

  Earlier on that morning she had given everyone at Cobel a refresher lecture on haemorrhage management. Collins had volunteered to be her victim, and she had calmly detailed the injuries an IED was likely to cause someone, using a red marker pen to circle each spot on his body. People paid attention. And although most would have been taught this before, they all made sure that they could see clearly when she demonstrated how to tie on a tourniquet, and how to pack a wound.

  Kate remembered how Tyler had stood at the front, looking focused, strong and confident. It was hard to believe that someone as capable and switched on as she was might become a victim. Yet Kate knew that as soon as they stepped out of the compound they were all vulnerable. And there was no such thing as a routine patrol. As Collins had said on her first day, there were no guarantees.

  And on that particular day, improvements were definitely needed.

  At the very exact time that she was born, thirty-five years earlier, Kate found herself under heavy fire, trying to hide inside a ditch filled with freezing water.

  The next thing she knew, Tyler landed on top of her feet first. One of her boots connected with Kate’s face, hard enough to knock her off balance. Happy birthday.

  Kate got pushed hard against the side of the ditch, her legs buckling under her in the thick mud underneath. Tyler caught her just as she was about to go under.

  “Shit! You okay?” she exclaimed over the noise of battle.

  At the same time she readjusted Kate’s helmet, and steadied her with a firm hand.

  Disoriented, Kate nevertheless caught the flash of concern in the young captain’s eyes, and she gave a quick nod. She did not need Tyler worrying about her in the middle of a firefight and losing concentration.

  “I’m okay,” she said quickly. “Don’t worry.”

  She did not have time to say much more. Rounds were flying, and Tyler quickly pulled her down with her, squatting lower inside the ditch.

  The platoon were pinned down inside a compound about two miles from base. They had got there okay in the morning, spoken to the locals, and Kate had managed to see a few villagers in need of medical attention, including a pregnant woman.

  There had been a bunch of kids next door, and one of the little girls, who could not have been more than four or five years old, took a particular interest in Tyler. She was shy at first, but she could not take her eyes off the young officer. Once Tyler had removed her helmet and smiled at her from a distance, the little girl ran over and gazed expectantly up at her. When the captain sat on the ground next to her, the child climbed onto her lap as if they were old friends and stuck her thumb in her mouth, holding fast onto Tyler's hand and leaning against her chest with a sleepy look in her eyes. Tyler took it all in her stride, taking her time and enjoying the moment.

  It had been a really nice surprise for Kate to see how quickly Tyler engaged with the kids in the compounds, and how well they responded to her. It was a side of her that she wished she could find out more about. She was hoping that one day perhaps they could meet again in what laughingly called “the real world.” Where no one would be trying to kill them.

  When she realised that they were leaving, and after Tyler had made the huge mistake of sharing some of her candy supplies with her, the little girl burst into tears, and she ran after them and screamed and held onto Tyler’s leg until the woman finally picked her up and hugged her tight.

  “Come on, little one,” she said easily. “You’re too young to go out on patrol with me. Okay?“

  The child stopped crying immediately, and stared at her with huge brown eyes which reminded her a little of Kate‘s. Tyler smiled and gently handed her back to one of the women. She felt reluctant to leave, but she had learned long ago that it never paid to get too attached.

  “Tell them to keep her in, yes?” she asked the interpreter. “She can’t be running after us when we don‘t know what‘s out there.”

  She turned around without another look at the child, and the marines walked out of the compound in single file. Everybody was in good spirits, but as they prepared to exit the village it seeme
d to empty.

  As if by magic, all of a sudden everybody was indoors, leaving the soldiers in no doubt as to what was about to come. Tyler got on the radio to base to say that the “atmospherics”, a marines term to describe the feel of a situation, had gone bad, and nervous anticipation rippled through the platoon.

  Collins got the good news first when a round missed his head by a few inches, and he dived to the ground yelling.

  “Contact! Contact!” he screamed, and his voice echoed through the team radios.

  All of a sudden the situation worsened, and with shouts of “RPG, incoming!“, several marines were scrambling for safety. Kate jumped out of the way into the first pocket of safety she could see, a ditch that was running underneath one of the village walls. And five seconds later Tyler threw herself in after her.

  Still holding on to Kate’s arm tightly, she crawled out of the ditch until they were just on the other side of the wall.

  “Stay close to me, okay?” she instructed, and as Kate nodded silently, she stopped moving and got on the radio.

  “Talk to me guys,” she said. “Collins. Everybody okay?”

  Her voice was so calm and matter of fact she might as well have been discussing the local weather with a bunch of friends.

  Everybody was fine. Reports of shots being fired and their estimated location were exchanged. Satisfied that everyone on her team was safe, Tyler turned to look at Kate again. Her eye was bleeding a little and she was pale. Tyler rested a gloved hand on her shoulder.

  "Hey, doc?" she said softly.

  Kate met her gaze, looking slightly harried.

  “Hang in there, okay?" Tyler told her with a smile. "We‘re going to get out of this one as quickly as we can.”

  Kate nodded, hating herself for appearing so weak, and yet right there and then she really was feeling scared and out of her depth. Tyler turned her attention back to the fight as an explosion sounded behind them, uncomfortably close. The ground shook and Kate flinched, feeling the energy from the impact all the way through to the centre of her chest. Unconsciously she pressed herself harder against Tyler.

  She had been shot at before, but never like this, never with such intent, from such close distance.

  This was bad.

  “Collins, send our grid reference to base, tell them we need air support,” Tyler said over the radio. “Guys, it’s coming from that

  wood on the left, see it?”

  “Yeah, we’re hammering it,” came the immediate response.

  “How come they’re still firing then?” Tyler exclaimed sharply, and she set her sights on the trees in the distance.

  She could just make out a figure behind a cluster of walls slightly to the right of the wood. The figure darted in and out, and it looked like the guy was on a mobile phone.

  “They’re dicking us, and they are not shy about it,” she announced, and again her voice was calm, but Kate was lying very close to her and she could feel the tension radiating from her body.

  “Are we getting any I-Comm?”

  I-Comm, or Intercepted Communications, was the name for Taliban radio chatter. The marines always tried to tap in to it, and they had trained interpreters relaying every single word of the current conversation back to them.

  “Yeah, they‘re saying they got us pinned down and not to let us leave,” Collins responded.

  He too sounded very calm, almost bored, although Kate knew he would be anything but.

  “Apache will be three minutes boss,” he confirmed.

  “Good,” Tyler acknowledged. Then she gave Kate a quick glance and

  muttered: “See how they like having a Hellfire dropped on their heads, right?”

  She settled more comfortably into position and zeroed in on the figure in the dish dash. The guy was getting bolder, spending more time in the open, getting a good look at their positions.

  Tyler’s thoughts drifted back to the little girl from the compound and her heart tightened. She wished she could have gone back and made sure that she was safe. But she had a job to do, and sticking her nose into the locals’ business was not a part of it. So as always she focused on the business side of things, and tuned out every other thought, every feeling and emotion. She dropped the man into her sights. Male adult. Mobile phone. Unmistakable. Her index finger dropped on to the trigger and she breathed deeply.

  While Tyler’s attention was focused on the Taliban fighter, Kate was looking at her. Her heart was pounding, her head hurt and she was covered in dirt, wet and cold from the ditch. She was scared. She did not want to be there... Or did she? She realised that given the choice, she probably would not have wanted to be anywhere else.

  She was more than a little surprised by her reaction to Tyler, and she was not entirely sure how she felt about it, but there was no denying the attraction.

  As she observed her now, Kate felt exhausted, terrified and excited all at the same time. She remembered how happy and relaxed Tyler had looked earlier on when she had been playing with the children from the compound. But now all of this was long gone, and Tyler looked different, dangerous, almost frightening even to Kate. This was a professional soldier about to kill another human being that Kate was looking at now, and she shivered and glanced away quickly as Tyler bit her lower lip in concentration and prepared to shoot.

  Her index finger tightened on the trigger. She exhaled slowly, held her breath, and fired a couple of rounds. She watched her target fall as he took a direct hit through the forehead. Through her sights she saw his skull explode in grim, sharp detail. That she would kill him was never in doubt. The fact that she would feel nothing when her bullets hit was also a given. She felt no emotion whatsoever, apart from satisfaction at having stopped him.

  Someone’s voice came on the radio.

  “Good shootin’ boss.”

  Tyler blew air out loudly, and looked away from her sights to glance at Kate and reassure herself that she was still there. Her eyes were dark, her expression unreadable, and soon the Apache was right on top of them.

  The pilot’s voice came on the net.

  “Monster call sign, Monster call sign, one Hellfire, into the wood. Time on target, five seconds.”

  There were several excited shouts from the troops as the helicopter hit the wood with one of the most powerful missiles they carried, vaporising whoever had been trying to kill the marines. Quiet followed intense activity, and Kate took a deep breath, realising for the first time that blood was running into her right eye and that her legs were shaking.

  She sat up slowly.

  “Let me have a look,” Tyler said immediately.

  “There‘s no need.”

  “Come on, Kate, let me see,” Tyler insisted, and the gentleness in her voice was irresistible.

  Kate sat up straighter and allowed her to get closer. She grew a little still as Tyler knelt in front of her and rested a finger under her chin, lifting her head gently. Kate found herself looking deep into her eyes, and when Tyler rested her other hand on the back of her neck, her heart started to beat a little faster.

  “Don’t worry, I’m fine,” she repeated firmly.

  “I gave you a black eye, I'm sorry,” Tyler said, her eyes serious as she examined the wound. “And you’re bleeding.”

  “I’ll get it sorted when we get home.”

  “Home?” Tyler snorted. “Must have hit you harder than I thought if you call it that. Anyway, good tactical move, jumping into that ditch.”

  She kept on smiling softly at Kate, as if waiting to see what the other woman would say.

  “Yeah, all I can tell you is next time find your own ditch,” Kate shot back with fake indignation.

  She had to say something funny, otherwise she was afraid that her expression would betray her thoughts. As it was she was not sure that it was enough to completely hide what was going through her head. And she was finding it difficult to remain still with Tyler sitting so close to her.

  The captain chuckled and gave a light little shrug.<
br />
  “Maybe I enjoy your company doc,” she said softly.

  There was some noise behind them, and they both turned to look.

  “Fucking good job boss!” Collins’ voice called out.

  Tyler winked playfully at Kate, who looked back over her shoulder.

  “What, decking the medic?” she said, and she laughed quietly when he took one look at Kate and froze.

  “Hell,” he said solemnly. “You guys had a fight?”

  “Oh, come on, it’s not that bad,” Kate protested. “I know it’s not that bad.”

  Collins grinned, enjoying letting off a little bit of steam with them. He nodded at Tyler, and stepped forward to give Kate a hand up.

  “I say let’s get out of here, hey boss?” he smiled. “Taliban nil, USA 110.”

  Kate was smiling when she noticed that Tyler was staring past Collins, toward the compound, the expression on her face intense once more. Before Kate could ask her what was wrong she stood up quickly, and walked off without another word.

  “What... What’s going on?” Kate exclaimed, puzzled.

  Collins stood close to her, very alert, listening hard to the net. Then he swore under his breath.

  “Shit. It sounds like some of the locals got hit.”

  Kate started jogging after him. She could see a small crowd gathering up ahead, all local men, about ten of them. She glanced at Collins, recognising the potential for trouble. But he just gave her a small nod and carried on.

  When Kate got closer she spotted a young boy of about sixteen lying on the ground in the middle, covered in blood. She could see that he was conscious. Forgetting her own safety, Kate pushed through the group of men so she could get to him. Collins was right behind her. He knew enough Pashto to understand that the locals were angry at the Taliban, not the Americans. So he was happy to let Kate go about her business. He nodded several times as one of the older men asked if Kate could help.

  “Is that boy going to be okay, doc?” he asked her. “Can you help?”

  “Yes… And yes I can.”

  Kate worked quickly, checking the boy’s body for any obvious and more serious wounds, finding nothing that worried her too much. He had a big gash in his right arm, probably the result of some flying shrapnel, and it was bleeding a fair bit. But it was definitely not life threatening. Kate told Collins that, and he relayed that information to the men. One of them clasped his shoulder, smiling. Collins smiled back, and asked if anybody else was in need of medical attention. All the while he was scanning the area, checking that every marine in the troop were doing what they were supposed to do. He doubted very much that any Taliban fighters would have stuck around after the attack, but he would not take any chances.