- Home
- My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon(lit)
My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon
My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon Read online
These stories are works of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in the stories are either products of the authors’ imaginations or are used fictitiously.
STALKED. Copyright © 2007 by Kelley Armstrong.
HEOROT. Copyright © 2007 by Jim Butcher.
ROMAN HOLIDAY, OR SO SPQ-ARRRRRR. Copyright © 2007 by Rachel Caine.
HER MOTHER’S DAUGHTER. Copyright © 2007 by P. N. Elrod.
NEWLYDEADS. Copyright © 2007 by Caitlin Kittredge.
WHERE THE HEART LIVES. Copyright © 2007 by Marjorie M. Liu.
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? Copyright © 2007 by Katie MacAlister.
HALF OF BEING MARRIED. Copyright © 2007 by Lilith Saintcrow.
A WULF IN GROOM’S CLOTHING. Copyright © 2007 by Ronda Thompson.
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Book design by Spring Hoteling
ISBN-13:978-0-312-37504-1
ISBN-10:0-312-37504-2
First Edition: January 2008
Contents
KELLEY ARMSTRONG — STALKED
JIM BUTCHER — HEOROT
RACHEL CAINE — ROMAN HOLIDAY OR SPQ-ARRRRRR
P N ELROD — HER MOTHER’S DAUGHTER
CAITLIN KITTREDGE — NEWLYDEADS
MARJORIE M LIU — WHERE THE HEART LIVES
KATIE MACALISTER — CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?
LILITH SAINTCROW — HALF OF BEING MARRIED
RONDA THOMPSON — A WULF IN GROOM’S CLOTHING
STALKED
Kelley Armstrong
Werewolves Elena Michaels and Clayton Danvers are the protagonists of the first two novels in the Women of the Otherworld series, and appear as major characters in succeeding books.
I HAD TO GET RID OF THE MUTT.
Killing him would be easiest but, unfortunately, out of the question. If Elena found out, she’d be pissed. Ten years from now, I’d still be hearing about it: “Clay couldn’t even get through our honeymoon without killing someone.”
She’d laugh when she said it… in ten years. Right now, she’d be furious.
She’d argue there were better ways to handle the situation. I disagreed. The mutt knew we were in town and that by sticking around, he was taking his life into his hands. If he’d skittered into the shadows and stayed out of our way, I’d have said, “Fuck it,” and pretended not to notice. After all, it was my honeymoon.
Even if he’d just stood his ground and refused to hide, I wouldn’t have made a big deal of it. Beaten the crap out of him, yes. Had to. The Law was the Law, and it stated that a non-Pack werewolf had to cede territory to a Pack one. Unfair, maybe, but if you let one mutt break the rules, the next thing you knew, they’d be camping out back at Stonehaven, knocking on the door, asking if they could use the facilities.
But this mutt wasn’t hiding or defending his territory. He was stalking Elena. He’d been following us all morning and was now sitting across the restaurant, gaze glued to her ass as she bent over the buffet table.
When your mate is the only female werewolf, you get used to other wolves sniffing around. I’d spent the last eighteen years dealing with it or, more often, watching her deal with it. With Elena, interference is not appreciated. She can fight her own fights, and gets snippy if I rob her of the chance. But this was our honeymoon, and damned if I was going to let this mutt spoil it. He had to be dealt with before Elena realized he was stalking her. The question was how.
When Elena walked back to the table, the mutt had the sense to busy himself gnawing on a sparerib.
“You okay?” she asked as she slid into her seat. “You’ve been quiet since the Arch.”
The mutt had started following us there.
“Just hungry. I’m fine now.”
“I should hope so. After three plates.” She buttered her bread, then studied me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I don’t know…” I shrugged and pretended to ease back in my chair, then lunged and snagged bacon from her plate. I folded it into my mouth. “Nope, still hungry.”
She brandished her fork. “Then get your own or—”
I snatched another slice, too slow this time, and she stabbed the back of my hand. I yelped.
“I warned you,” she laughed.
The women at the next table stared in horror. Elena glanced their way. Five years ago, she would have blushed. Ten years ago, she would have found an excuse to leave. Today, she just murmured a rueful “whoops,” and dug into her potatoes.
I got another plate of food, avoiding the temptation to pass the mutt’s table. He’d made a point of staying downwind outside and now sat partially obscured by a pillar, too far away for his scent to carry. For now, I’d let him think he was safe, undetected.
When I came back, Elena said, “I think I have an outing idea for us. Someone behind me in line was talking about a state park. Could be fun.” Her blue eyes glittered. “Of course, we shouldn’t go during the day when there are people around.”
“Nope, we shouldn’t.” I speared a ham slab. “This afternoon, then?”
She grinned. “Perfect.”
WHEN YOU RESORT TO EVERYDAY ACTIVITIES ON YOUR honeymoon, you know it’s not going well. Planning our second run in as many days meant Elena was bored and trying very hard not to let me know it.
The first couple of days had been great. With two-year-old twins at home, the only time we normally got away was when our Alpha, Jeremy, sent us to track down a misbehaving mutt. Being on a mission doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy ourselves. There’s nothing like celebrating a successful hunt with sex. Or working out the frustration of a failed hunt with sex. Or dulling that edge of pre-hunt excitement with sex.
But there was also something to be said for skipping the whole “track, capture, and maim” part and being able to go straight to a hotel room, and lock the door. Still, we could stay in there for only so long before we got restless, and when we came out, we’d discovered a problem with our honeymoon destination: there wasn’t a helluva lot to do.
BACK AT THE HOTEL, WE CALLED HOME AND talked to the kids. Or they listened as we talked, and had their answers interpreted by Jeremy. As much as we loved our daily call, we spent most of it braced for the inevitable “Momma? Daddy? Home?” or in Kate’s case: “Momma! Daddy! Home!” Jeremy managed to spare us this time, stopping as soon as Logan asked “Momma where?” and bustling them off with his visiting girlfriend, Jaime.
Next Jeremy and Elena would talk about the kids and discuss any new Pack or council business. Normally, I’d listen in and offer my opinion—whether they wanted it or not—but today I told Elena I was going downstairs to grab a map and a bottle of water, and took off.
I WAS REASONABLY SURE THE MUTT HADN’T FOLLOWED us from the restaurant, but wanted to scout to be absolutely certain. We’d walked to the Arch and then to the restaurant, meaning we’d had to walk back, which gave him the opportunity to follow. A cab would have solved that, but if I’d voluntarily offered to spend time trapped in a vehicle with a stranger, Elena would have been on the phone to Jeremy, panicked that my arm was reinfected and I was sliding into delirium.
So I’d suggested we take the long route back. The mutt hadn’t followed. Maybe he’d had second thoughts. If he’d heard the rumors about me, he’d know he could be setting himself up for a long and painful death.
But if he’d believed that, he should have hightailed it the moment he crossed our path. So while I hoped, I didn’t trust.
I grabbed a brochure on state parks, stuffed it into my back pocket, then headed out the front door to circle the hotel. I got five steps before his scent hit me. I stopped to retie my sneaker and snuck a look around.
The bastard was right across the street. He sat on a bench facing the hotel, reading a newspaper. Cocky? Or just too young and inexperienced to know I could smell him from here?
I straightened and shielded my eyes, as if scanning the storefronts. When I turned his way, he lifted the paper to hide his face, but slowly. Cocky. Shit.
Normally, I’m happy to show a cocky young mutt how I earned my reputation. At that age, one good thrashing is all it takes. But damn it, this was my honeymoon.
I crossed the road and headed into the first alley.
THERE WERE TWO WAYS THE MUTT COULD PLAY this, depending on why he was stalking Elena. It could be his misguided way of challenging me. Stupid—any wolf knew his mate wouldn’t lift her tail for the first younger male who sauntered her way. Only a human would fly into a jealous rage and call a man out for it. But if challenging me was his goal, he’d follow me into the alley.
Or he might really be after Elena. He wouldn’t be the first mutt to think she might not object to a new mate.
I walked far enough into the alley to disappear, then crept back along the wall, lost in its shadow, stopping when I could see the hotel door. After a few minutes, a car horn blasted and a figure darted through the heavy traffic. It was the mutt, heading straight for the hotel.
I circled around the block, then came in the hotel side entrance, beside the check-in desk. I stopped there, partially hidden by a huge fake plant. The stink of the plastic fern overpowered everything else.
I peered through the fronds. There he was, hovering at the other end of the desk, sizing up the staff. Hoping to get our room number? I stepped out. Just as he turned, a pale blond ponytail bounced past on the other side of the lobby. Elena.
I turned away from the mutt before he realized I’d made him. I opened my mouth to hail Elena, then stopped. If she saw me, she’d head over here. Better for her to keep walking and I’d catch up outside the front doors—
Shit. He’d walked in the front doors. His scent would still linger there, and Elena had a better sense of smell than any werewolf I knew. I started walking fast to cut her off. She caught sight of the brochure rack and veered that way.
“Elena!”
I yanked the park guide from my back pocket and waved it. I moved to the left, blocking her view of the mutt. She couldn’t smell him from here, but she was in charge of the Pack’s mutt dossiers and might recognize him.
“Got the maps,” I said. “I was looking for water. I can’t find a damn machine—”
She directed my attention to the gift shop.
“Shit. Okay, let’s grab one and go.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the mutt watching us. Elena’s gaze traveled across the lobby, as if sensing something. I took her elbow and wheeled her toward the gift shop.
She peeled my fingers from her arm. “I’m looking—”
“The gift shop’s behind you.”
“Where I just pointed. No kidding. I’m looking for the parking garage exit. I was going to say we can get a drink on the way. It’s too expensive here.”
“Good. I mean, right. The stairs are back there, by the elevators.”
She nodded and let me lead the way.
THE PARK WASN’T BUSY, SO AVOIDING HUMANS WAS easy. That took some of the challenge out of it, but a new place to run is always good.
We spent most of the afternoon as wolves, exploring and playing, working up a sharp hunger for the hunt. We’d found a few deer trails, but all our tearing around scared the small herd into hiding. Probably just as well—in places like this, people pay attention to ripped-apart deer carcasses, and we’d have felt guilty later, knowing we’d nudged the line between acceptable and unacceptable risk. We settled for rabbits, the fat dull-witted sort you find in preserves with few natural predators.
The snack was enough to still the hunger pangs without making us sleepy, so we followed it up with more games, these ones taking on an edge, the snarls sharper, the nips harder, fangs drawing blood, working up to the inevitable conclusion—a fast Change back and hard, raw sex that left us scratched and bruised, happy and drowsy, stretched on the forest floor, bodies apart, feet entwined.
I was on my back, shielding my eyes from the sun shifting through the trees, too lazy to move out of its way. Elena lay on her stomach, watching an ant crawl across her open palm.
“What about a second stop for our honeymoon?” I asked.
Her nose scrunched in an unspoken “What?”
“Well, I know this isn’t shaping up to be everything you’d hoped…”
“This afternoon was.” She grinned and rubbed her foot against mine. “I’m having a good time, but if you’re not…”
How the hell was I supposed to answer that? No, darling, our honeymoon sucks. I’m bored and I want to go somewhere else.
If it was true, I wouldn’t have minded saying so, though I supposed, being a romantic getaway, I’d have to phrase it more carefully. Walking away from a threat set my teeth on edge, but it was better than having this mutt ruin our honeymoon. Still, given the choice between staying and making Elena think I was having a shitty time, something told me option one—even if it meant fighting a bigger, younger werewolf—was a whole lot safer.
“I’m fine,” I said. “You just seemed a little… bored earlier.”
Alarm brightened her eyes and she hurried to assure me she was, most certainly, not bored. I should have known. Any other time, Elena would have no problem admitting it. But a honeymoon was different. It was a ritual and, as such, came with rules, and saying she was bored broke them all.
Shortly after I met Elena, I’d realized that while she squirmed and chafed under the weight of human rules and expectations, there was one aspect of them she embraced almost to the point of worship. Rituals. Like Christmas. Ask Elena to bring cookies for the parent-and-tot picnic and she’ll buy them at the bakery, then dump them into a plastic container so they’d look homemade. But come mid-December, she’ll whip herself into a frenzy of baking, loving every minute because that’s part of Christmas.
When the subject of “making it official for the kids’ sake” came up, I knew she’d want the ritual—a real wedding, the kind she’d dreamed of eighteen years ago when we’d bought the rings, her face lit up with dreams of a white dress and a new life and happily ever after.
Instead of the happily ever after, she got a bite on the hand and the kind of new life that had once existed only in her nightmares.
I won’t make excuses for what I did. The truth is that your whole life can change with one split-second decision and it doesn’t matter if you told yourself you’d never do it, or if you stepped into that moment with no thought of doing it. All it takes is that one second of absolute panic when the solution shines in front of you, and you grab it… only to have it turn to ash in your hand. There is no excuse for what I did.
After I bit Elena, it took eleven years for her to forgive me. Forgetting what I’d done to her, though, was impossible. It was always there, lurking in the background.
When Elena vetoed a wedding, I thought it was just the weight of human mores again—that it didn’t feel right when we already had kids. So I’d decided I’d give her one, as a surprise. Jeremy talked me out of it and it was then, as he waffled and circled the subject of “why not” that I finally understood. There could be no wedding because every step—from sending invitations to walking down the aisle—would only remind her of the one she’d planned all those years ago, and the hell she’d gone through when it fell apart.
But the honeymoon was one part of the ritual we hadn’t discussed. So, if a wedding was out, the least I could do was give her that.
THE MUTT RESURFACED AT DINNER, SPOILING MY SECOND meal in a day. Not just any meal this time, but a special one at a place so exclusive that I—well, Jeremy—had to reserve our table weeks ago. It was one of those restaurants where the lighting is so dim, I don’t know how humans can see what they’re eating or find what they’re eating—the tiny portions lost on a plate filled with inedible decorations. But it was romantic. At least, that’s what the guidebook said.
It matched Elena’s expectations, and that was all that mattered. She’d enjoy the fussy little portions, the fancy wines, the fawning waitstaff, then fill up on pizza in our room later. Which was fine by me… until the mutt showed up.
As I was returning from the bathroom, he stepped into the lobby to ask the maître d’ for directions. Our eyes met. He smiled, turned, and sauntered out.
I knew I should walk away. Take care of him later. But there was no way I could enjoy my dinner knowing he was prowling outside. And if I didn’t enjoy it, Elena wouldn’t enjoy it, and we’d get into a fight about why I’d take her someplace I’d hate only to sulk through the meal. I was determined to make it through this trip without any knock-down, drag-out fights… or, at least, not to cause any myself.
I waited until the maître d’ escorted a couple into the dining room, then took off after the mutt.
I FOUND HIM WAITING FOR ME IN THE lane behind the restaurant. He was leaning against the wall, ankles crossed, eyes closed.
Who raises their kids like this? That was the problem with mutts. Not all mutts—I’ll give them that. Some teach their sons basic survival and a few do as good a job as any Pack wolf, but there are far too many who just don’t give a damn. At least in a Pack, if your father doesn’t teach you properly, someone else will.