Xavier Cold (Hard Knocks #2) Read online

  She reaches out and grabs my hand, giving it a little squeeze. “I meant what I said earlier. Things get rough, you call me. I don’t want you over here, stressed or in a dangerous situation.”

  I curl my fingers around hers. “I will.”

  She quickly wraps her arms around me and then whispers in my ear, “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Quinn pulls back and gives me a small smile before turning on her heel and walking to her car. I wait until she’s buckled up inside and cranks the engine to life before I swallow hard and make my way back up to the front door to find out what is awaiting me on the other side.

  I take a hesitant step inside and allow my eyes to adjust to the dim room. The curtains in the living room are drawn tight, and the only light entering the room comes from the open door. There’s a steep staircase leading to the second floor in front of me, and the rest of the living room is set off to the left. The furniture is dated but appears to be in pristine condition under the plastic covers. A round woven rug covers the hardwood floor that appears to run into the dining room attached to the living room. Our luggage is sitting on top of the rug in the center of the living room, and there’s no sign of Xavier anywhere.

  I close the door behind me and begin to explore. On the wall are several pictures of a rather pristine lady wearing a wide-brimmed hat. She reminds me a lot of the upper-class women who attend horse races. In most of the pictures, the woman is with a dark-haired beauty with soulful brown eyes. When I look at this woman, there’s no mistaking the resemblance to Xavier, which probably means this is the mother he lost when he was only eight years old.

  “You hungry?” Xavier’s voice cuts through the otherwise silent room. “We could go out and eat since we don’t have any food here yet.”

  “I’m not hungry just yet.” I continue to study the pictures on the wall, and my curiosity needs confirmation to what it already knows. “Is this your mother?”

  Xavier blows a rush of air out of his nose before walking over to where I’m standing. He stares at the pictures, and instead of answering my question, he moves in to take the frames off the wall. “I forgot all these were up here. I should’ve had Nettie take them down a long time ago.”

  I wrap my fingers around his wrist as he reaches for the next picture. “You don’t want to leave them?”

  “No,” he replies instantly. “I don’t like to be reminded of the past.”

  Since I’ve known Xavier, all I’ve done is push him to talk about his past even though he’s warned me over and over again that the topic of his family was off-limits, so I’m curious to find out more about them.

  I watch as Xavier pulls all the pictures off the wall, one by one, before tucking away the memories that haunt him into a storage closet not far from the front door.

  Once he’s satisfied that all the pictures are gone, he turns and surveys the room. “I don’t like looking at her.”

  I’m not sure who he means, but I’m trying not to get him aggravated by asking too many questions.

  He lets out a long sigh, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself in this space. It’s clear that being here is a struggle for him. I’m beginning to have my doubts about talking him into facing his past. It might not be such a good idea.

  Lord knows I do my best to keep from facing my past. Last I spoke with my father, he was angry, and I pissed him off even further when I told him I was staying with Xavier. As far as I know, I’m still not welcomed at home, and since the day Father showed up in Atlanta, I’ve not heard a peep from anyone in Portland.

  I’d shocked them all by running away the way I did, but I couldn’t see another way out of the situation with my controlling family. I hadn’t wanted the life they had planned for me, and the only way to stop that from happening to me was by breaking free.

  And, man, did I ever get freedom.

  My eyes have been opened to the cruel realities that others, like Xavier, have faced. His life is, by far, worse than mine, but I respect the hell out of him for finding his own way and making something out of himself on his own terms.

  I slide my arms around his waist and snuggle up against him. I’m not sure what’s going on in that head of his, but I want him to know that I’m here, and he can count on me.

  Chapter 7

  Xavier

  It’s harder than I thought, walking back into this house. Everywhere I look, I’m reminded of something horrible that happened. If anything good ever happened, I sure as hell don’t remember it.

  When I look at the couch, I picture Mom lying there, strung out, after returning from a bender. That image in my head leads me back to the moments that make up my nightmares.

  If I didn’t love Anna so damn much and have this overwhelming desire to protect her and see to her every need, I would’ve rather lived on the street again before coming back here. But that life—the hardness of it—isn’t for Anna. She’s much too pure for that, and I’ll be damned if I’m the man who taints her light.

  She clings to me, not saying a word and not pushing me for more information about the house. I appreciate that.

  I’m not ready to spill all my secrets to her. God knows, it was hard enough, telling her about the death of my mother. There’s no way I want Anna to know that the woman in those pictures, the one with the seemingly sweet face, is at the very center of all the things that haunt me.

  Nettie is the only person on this earth whom I’ve ever told about the beatings I received at the hands of my grandmother, and that wasn’t by choice. She figured it out when she tried to wake me up from one of my nightmares, and I took a swing at her. I didn’t make contact—thank God—but it scared her. I could see it in her eyes. It made her question taking in a kid off the streets. Desperate to stay with her and Carl, I confessed everything about my life. She didn’t like what she heard, and she begged me to turn my grandmother in, but I knew that wouldn’t do any good. To the community, my grandmother was a saint. She gave to every charity, smiled all the time, and was loyal to her church. No one would’ve ever believed me. They would’ve taken one look at the raggedy street kid in front of them and accused me of lying. That wasn’t something I wanted to deal with. After that night, Nettie never brought up my past again, and it bonded us together. She never had any kids of her own, and I suppose I was the next best thing.

  I have to get out of this house. I’ve been here for only a few short minutes, and I already have the desire to run out of here as quickly as I can.

  “Ready?” I ask Anna.

  She nods. “Let’s go.”

  Once we’re on the bike, relief floods through me. I’m grateful to be out of that fucking house. The bike rumbles to a stop, Anna peels her body off me and hops off. I balance its weight between my thighs as I grin and reach over to unfasten the buckle beneath her chin. My fingertips lightly trace her skin, causing her to instantly blush. I love the way the slightest touch from me affects her. It’s nice to constantly have confirmation that I can turn her on so quickly with such a simple move.

  She pulls the helmet off her head and hands it to me. I throw the kickstand down and then set the helmet on the handlebar before I swing my leg over the bike to get off.

  When I turn around, I catch Anna staring at my ass, and it causes me to chuckle. She jerks her eyes away, embarrassed that I caught her looking.

  One corner of my mouth pulls into a lopsided grin. “See something you like?”

  The blush on her cheeks deepens, and she shrugs sheepishly. “I can’t help it. Your body . . . it’s pretty fantastic.”

  I tuck two fingers into the waistband of her jeans and pull her against me. I gaze down at her pouty pink mouth, and all that crosses my mind is the thought of kissing her. “You keep saying things like that to me, beautiful, and I’ll toss you back onto this bike and take you right here in this parking lot.”

  Her eyes widen, and her mouth falls agape. “You wouldn’t.”

  I slide my bottom lip between my teeth as
I contemplate carrying through on my threat. “You’re right, but that’s only because the thought of any other man seeing you naked drives me out of my fucking mind.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that because this belongs only to you.”

  “Mmm . . . I like it when you say that,” I admit.

  “What?” She blinks slowly as she gazes up at me.

  “You saying that you’re mine.”

  “I’ll always be yours.”

  When I hear those words willingly come out of her mouth, my heart does a double thump. I didn’t have to bring her to the edge of orgasm and force her to admit she was mine seconds before I made her come.

  My cock jerks in my jeans, and if we don’t change this conversation, I’ll throw her sweet little ass back on this bike and find a place where we can be alone.

  I sigh and then reach down and grab her hand, pulling my brain out of the sex daze it entered. “Food. We came here for food.”

  “Right.” She giggles. “I nearly forgot.”

  I lead her into the diner. Nettie is busy wiping down the counter, and Carl is throwing food around on the grill.

  Nettie glances up at me and smiles. “I’ll be right there, sugar.”

  “Take your time,” I call to her as I guide Anna to my favorite corner booth. “Hey, Carl,” I toss over my shoulder before I slide into the booth.

  “What up, X?” he replies as he flips a steaks onto a plate.

  Anna slips into the booth, and then I slide in across from her. I study her face as she reads over the menu. Her dark hair is down and a little wild from the ride here, but she looks as beautiful as ever. Her green eyes move around from one page to the next as she reads. Those eyes of hers are the first things that caught my attention on the plane. They stand out so much against her tan complexion that it’s impossible not to notice them. When she looks at you with them, you know how sincere she is. You can read it in her eyes.

  “I think I’m going to have—” Her eyes flick to mine, and she pauses. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “How am I looking at you?” Is it possible to tell that I’m thinking about her by the expression on my face? I’m typically pretty damn good at hiding my emotions.

  “I don’t know,” she says. “You look like you’re lost in thought.”

  I stretch my hand across the table and take her hand in mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  That makes her smile and seems to appease her curious mind.

  It doesn’t take long for Nettie to make it over to our table. She focuses on me when she asks, “Did you get settled in?”

  The real question she wants to ask is, Were you able to handle going back into that house?

  I kept my shit together when we were there, mostly to make Anna feel safe. There was no way in hell I wanted to peel back the curtain on my whole fucked-up psyche in front of her.

  Her seeing my nightmare freak-outs is bad enough.

  I don’t deserve a good girl like Anna to stick by my side, but I’m glad she’s here, and I plan on keeping her forever.

  I lean back and throw my arm over the top of the booth. “We did. Things are going to be fine.”

  I hope my actions are enough to reassure Nettie so that she won’t worry, but I can tell by the pointed look she’s giving me that understands it was harder for me than I led on.

  She sighs and then moves to change the subject because she knows me well enough to expect that I’m not going to elaborate any further on the situation. “You still on that protein diet, honey?”

  “No. Seeing as how I don’t even have a gym to work out at right now, my training is on hold until I can get back to it.”

  “So, you gonna have a cheat meal then? Your favorite?”

  I lift one shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. “Sure. Why not?”

  “Carl!” Nettie yells over her shoulder. “Pancakes for our boy.”

  “Damn it, woman. Can’t you write the stuff down and then come over and give me the letter about what to cook?” Carl complains as he works at pouring out batter onto the griddle in the kitchen that’s visible to all the customers.

  “You know it works better when I tell you what to cook as we go,” Nettie fires back. Then, she quickly repeats the same scenario with Anna’s order. “You know, Xavier, Cole took over his daddy’s gym. You ought to go check it out. He’d be glad to see you.”

  Damn. I’ve only been here a few hours, and already, Nettie has dragged me down memory lane more today than she has in the past few years.

  Cole Parker is one person from the old neighborhood I wouldn’t mind seeing. We were tight back in the day because we’d broken out of the street life at the same time. It bonded us because we’d pissed off the crew that ran The Block.

  Nettie and Carl had made it clear that if I wanted to stay here with them, I was to have nothing to do with the people I used to hang with. And Cole—well, his father was in his life, and when he’d gotten word that Cole was getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, he’d intervened.

  It’s good to hear that he’s doing all right for himself.

  “Thanks for the heads-up, Nettie. I’ll check it out.”

  The sound of Anna’s cell ringing catches my attention. She fishes it from her back pocket, and her eyes widen as she glances down at the caller ID. Her hand flips the phone around for me to see the words Tension Writers illuminate the screen.

  “Should I answer it?” she asks in a voice that’s only a few octaves above a whisper.

  More than anything, I want her to answer that phone and tell whoever is on the other end of the line to fuck off and that she’s not coming back to the show without me, but we both know that wouldn’t be a wise move.

  “Answer it,” I advise her. “There’s no way around talking to them.”

  She sighs and then hits the green phone button on the screen. “Hello?” There’s a pause as she listens to person talking. “Okay. I understand that, but—well, no, but—”

  I curl my fingers and then flex them back out, trying to stop myself from making fists and pounding on the table. Whoever is speaking to her is being rude as fuck. They keep interrupting her, and it’s pissing me off. They have about two seconds to change their attitude with Anna, or I will jerk that phone away and make the person on the end of that line wish they’d never rung her number.

  Nettie must see the aggression on my face because she places her hand on my shoulder. She leans down next to me and speaks only loud enough for me to hear, “Calm down, baby. Let your girl handle this. She’s smart. She’ll make the right move.”

  Her words sink into my brain, and I and take a deep breath.

  “Trust her. She’s a good one.” Nettie kisses my cheek before rushing over to Carl.

  Nettie gets me. She can tell when I’m about to lose my shit. Then again, she’s had years of practice with me, learning the signs.

  “All right. I understand. No, it won’t be a problem. Yes, I’ll be there.” Anna pulls the phone away from her ear and stares at the screen. She blinks a couple of times and then lays it down in the center of the table. She flicks her gaze up to mine. “It seems I was supposed to be at the show tonight.”

  My lip curls of its own accord as I find myself fucking appalled that they wouldn’t even give her a few days with me to get shit sorted out before they expected her to be back at work. “That’s horse shit. If they wanted you there, they should’ve made that call on Tuesday and put it on your schedule.”

  Her pink lips pull into a tight line. “I didn’t really have a schedule, remember? I just officially became a part of the show when I stood beside you for that match. They probably figured that I would be there with you tonight.”

  “Just because you’re with me doesn’t give them an excuse not to tell you if you are expected to be at a show. I was given my schedule long before I was sent on vacation to Detroit. It required me to be at every show Tension put on.”

  She frowns. “According to the head writer of t
he show, Vicky, I’m to attend every show for the next month—every Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday show.”

  A rush of air forces its way out of my nose as I scrub my hand down my face. “Fucking Rex. This has his name written all over it. He’s fucking Vicky, so she’s his puppet. He’s doing this to fuck with me.”

  “Don’t let it.” Anna grabs my hand that’s resting on the table. “Don’t give him that power over you by losing your cool. He knew, if he pushed your buttons enough, then you’d go berserk on him and ruin your shot at being champion. He got exactly what he’d wanted, so don’t help him out any further by losing your head over this. You can trust me, Xavier. No matter what Rex does or says, you will never have to worry. You have my heart, and nothing will ever change that.”

  “Promise?” I know it makes me look like a pussy, needing to hear her say that, but I’ve been through so much. I wouldn’t be able to handle ever losing her.

  She sets her eyes on mine. “I swear on my life.”

  The honesty and goodness shines in her eyes, and I believe she means what she says. I relax a little, but the tension is still rolling through my muscles.

  I glance down at my watch and notice it’s nearly time for Thursday Tension to come on, and I wonder what the writers have planned for tonight’s show.

  I glance over at Nettie, who is stacking clean glasses behind the counter. “Would you mind turning on Tension?”

  “Sure thing,” Nettie answers as she grabs the remote from under the counter and flips the channel.

  A few minutes later, the unmistakable promo music for Tension begins to play, and the familiar clips of me and some of the other guys who work for the company appear on the screen. It’s a wonder that they haven’t yanked me from being one of the faces on their trailers, seeing as how I’ve been giving them problems for quite a while now.

  My back straightens a bit when Mr. Silverman’s music blasts through the speakers. The camera zooms in on him as he steps through the black curtain and onto the metal grating ramp leading down to the ring. His thin lips rest in an emotionless line, and his gray eyes appear hard and focused beneath his neatly trimmed silver eyebrows and hair.