True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) Read online

  My lips part, and my heart hammers. This feels really fast, but I’m willing to try it if it gets rid of this hurt inside my chest. I pant as I close my eyes. A sudden jerk startles me, and my eyes snap open. Noel has Striker in a headlock, pulling him away from me. Striker shoots his elbows back into Noel’s ribs, but he refuses to let go.

  “You can’t fucking take my girl!” Noel seethes. His eyes are boiling with rage.

  My jaw drops. This is beyond ridiculous. Within seconds, Mike and a few other bouncer-type men descend upon the two tattooed rockers and yank them apart. While he’s still locked in Mike’s hold, Noel lunges for Striker.

  “Calm the fuck down!” Mike shouts at Noel. Mike hauls him toward the door. Noel’s eyes refuse to leave me.

  I roll my eyes. We need to seriously talk. He can’t keep interfering with my life. Striker straightens his shirt, and I notice all the curious stares from the other bar patrons. No doubt all of them are wondering what’s so special about me to cause this fight.

  Striker runs his fingers through his hair. “Blimey. That bloke has issues.” Striker wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Where were we?”

  I duck away and look at the door. I watch Mike shove Noel unwillingly through it. The urge to confront him surges through me. We need to end this here and now, for good. “I’m sorry, Striker. My ride is leaving without me. Maybe some other time?”

  He frowns. “Your loss, love.”

  The little jab is enough to relieve my guilt over leaving him on the dance floor. I rush through the club and out the door just in time to catch up with Mike shutting Noel inside the Escalade. “Wait up! I’m going back with you.”

  Mike holds up his hands. “He’s drunk. I don’t think it’s a good time for you to—”

  I shake my head. “Now is the only time.”

  When I yank open the door, shock registers on Noel’s face. “Lane? I knew you’d—”

  I slam it once I’m inside. “Shut it. I didn’t come here to make up. How could you do that to Striker? I’m trying to move on, damn it. This shit has to end.”

  The moment Mike shuts his door, the SUV starts for the bus.

  Noel shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t. I love you.”

  I close my eyes and hold up my hand. “Stop. Stop saying stuff like that. It does have to end. How many times do I have to tell you I won’t be the other woman!”

  He grabs my hand. “You’re not.”

  I yank it away. “This ends tonight. Contract or not, I’m done.”

  “Lane…”

  I turn and stare out the window. “Please stop talking.”

  The rest of the ride back to Big Bertha, Noel doesn’t say a word. The tension is thick, and everyone in the vehicle can feel it. The minute we park, I jump out and head for the bus. I’m over this. I’m over the tension and feeling trapped. If they sue me, what can they possibly get? I have nothing but a rented apartment. I don’t even have a car, for crying out loud.

  When I get back to the bedroom, I throw my suitcase on the bed. I yank open a drawer and throw my clothes in the bag. Tears threaten to spill from eyes. I’m throwing away everything, but I can’t take being here one more minute. It just hurts too much.

  “What are you doing?” Noel says behind me.

  A tear spills out of my eye, and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. “What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving.”

  “What about the contract?”

  I shrug. “What about it? You can sue me if you want, but you aren’t going to get much.”

  Noel’s beside me, and he wraps his fingers around my wrist, successfully stopping me from packing. “I’m not going to sue you.”

  I face him with tears streaming down my face. “Then why did you make me stay? I can’t take this.”

  He pulls his lips into a tight line. “Using the contract against you was the only way I knew to make you stay. I don’t want you to leave. I need you to stay with me.”

  “I can’t. I can’t let you hurt Sophie by being with me. If you commit to someone, you should stand by it.”

  “But I don’t love her,” he whispers. “I just want to be a good father.”

  I see the need to prove that he’s a better man than his dad in his eyes. Even if I love him, I’m not okay with him having a family with another girl and keeping me too. “You’ll be a great father. I know it. Irene will be thrilled to have a grandchild. You should really make up with your parents and figure out how to forgive Frank. All fathers make mistakes. Your first one was being with me.”

  Noel takes my hand. “I love you so much. And you’re right. That wasn’t being the kind of father I want to be.”

  I hang my head. My heart tears at his words. I know he loves me, I can feel it in his words, but our timing is off. “Noel…”

  He cups my face and forces me to look at him. “I hate this. The thought of losing you again—it tears me up. Tonight when I walked in on Striker touching you, things went through my mind, and I nearly lost my fucking head. You’re my heart, Lane. You’re my everything.”

  To know how much we hurt each other kills me. A sob escapes my lips. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  His thumbs wipe the tears from my face. “I know, baby. It’s not your fault. I have to learn to let go. Don’t blame yourself.”

  “I don’t mean to hurt you.”

  He sighs and takes a stand of my hair between his fingers. “You can’t worry about that. Losing you will hurt no matter what. Just promise me one thing.”

  I gaze into his eyes. “Anything.”

  “Promise that you don’t hate me. I can’t live with myself if you do.”

  I nod. “Yes. I promise.”

  Noel’s lips crush down on mine. I close my eyes and don’t bother to fight what I know is our last kiss. Even though it’s wrong, the sheer need to be with him, to please him in every way, vibrates through every cell in my body. His hand knots into my hair, and I wrap my arms around his neck. My fingertips rub the back of Noel’s neck. It’s so warm and inviting under my touch. My heart pounds, and suddenly I’m hot all over.

  “I love you, Lane,” Noel says against my lips. “Forever.”

  My breath leaves my chest, and I feel a little dizzy. He breaks our kiss, and heat sears along my jaw as his lips work down my neck. I fist his shirt tightly as I whimper. His large hand grips my thigh and hitches it around his hip as he slides his hand under my skirt. My legs open wider as his fingers trace the elastic edge of my panties. Once the fabric’s aside, he teases my swollen folds with the tip of his finger.

  I grab his hair and yank his mouth back to mine. Every inch of me is aroused by his touch, and I tear at his clothes. I want his skin on mine. I need to feel him.

  Noel slides both hands up my sides and peels off my dress. It lands in a heap by our feet as he directs his attention to exposing my breasts. One hand massages my breast while he wraps his lips around the other. I throw back my head and moan. It’s amazing how he knows just what I like. He yanks down my panties and then removes his own shirt and pants as though he doesn’t want to give me time to change my mind about this.

  Our mouths meet, and he kisses me fiercely. With one swift move, he has me down on the bed. The mattress creaks with our weight, and Noel’s eyes roam down my body. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  I crush my lips to his, and his tip circles my moist flesh, each time hitting my clit and nearly making me lose my mind. I grind against him, and he grins at my excitement. A trail of fire remains in the wake of his lips as they work down my shoulder. He works his hips in a slow steady motion, allowing the head of his cock to slide against my folds. Heat builds up in my core, and after we connect once more, I explode. Every inch of me clenches at the pure release of ecstasy. Noel kisses me, and I moan into his mouth. His tongue finds mine and circles it as he plunges inside me with one quick thrust. My fingernails rake down his back as he fills and stretches me in the most delightful ways.

  “I lo
ve being inside you. It’s my most favorite place on earth,” he breathes against my lips.

  I close my eyes and try to block out the thought that this will never happen again. That this is the last time I will feel this connection with Noel. I bite my lip as I pull my hips up to meet each thrust, allowing him to get deeper. Pretty soon, I feel the fire tugging at the pit of my belly again, and I know it won’t be long until I come for the second time.

  “God, Lane, I need you to fall apart with me. I don’t want to be alone.” His words shove me over the edge, and I lose all control. At the same moment, he grunts as he comes hard and fast inside me. After he pulls out of me, he rolls over and stares into my eyes. “I love you.”

  A tear streams down my face. “I love you, too. Forever.”

  We lay in each other’s arms, neither of us wanting to end the moment, but I know it can’t last. I pull away from him, and he sits up. He kisses the top of my head and grabs a towel before heading to the shower. Once I hear the water turn on, I jump out of bed and throw my clothes back on.

  The suitcase I was packing got knocked on the floor. I bend down and stuff the clothes back in it before I zip it and make my way off the bus.

  26

  The door on the bus slams shut, and I freeze. Damn. I was hoping to sneak out without being seen. I readjust my messy bun and attempt to smile as footsteps boom up the steps. A gasp escapes me as my eyes land on the woman I saw on the internet. Sophie is with Noel’s bodyguard, Mike. I fall back against the bedroom door, and the smile drops off my face. What the hell is she doing here? My eyes flit to my ragged appearance.

  Shit.

  Sophie is even more beautiful than her pictures. Her long blond hair sits in a high ponytail, and her skin is flawless, nearly like porcelain. Her baby bump isn’t very big, not that noticeable unless you’re looking for it. Being in the same room with the woman who is about to give birth to Noel’s child twists my stomach into a huge knot. I take a deep breath and prepare for her to lash out.

  She looks me up and down with blazing eyes. “Is this her?”

  My heart leaps into my throat as the guilt of what I’ve just done washes over me. I open my mouth to tell her I’m sorry, but no words come out. The shock of seeing her has me flabbergasted.

  “Sophie, stop.” Mike touches her arm.

  Her face snaps toward him. “Don’t you dare take her side!”

  I swallow hard as Mike throws up his hands in frustration. “You know what? I’m sick of this shit.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Shut up! Don’t you say another word.”

  I glance between Mike and Sophie. Their exchange puzzles me. Mike has never gotten this personal with me, so why does he talk to her that way?

  “What’s going on out here?” Noel growls as he creeps up behind me. I jump at the sound of his voice. His eyes flit down to my bag. “You going somewhere?”

  I bite my lip and shrug, not really wanting to have this argument in front of the mother of his soon-to-be-born child. Sophie clears her throat, and Noel turns toward her.

  Her face goes from disdain to angelic in less than a second. “Hey, baby.”

  My stomach turns, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. That sweet term of endearment might as well be a knife straight into my heart.

  She takes a couple steps toward him but halts when he holds up a hand. “What are you doing here?” Noel asks.

  She pokes out her lip. “I missed you.”

  Mike grunts. “You’re unbelievable!”

  Her head whips toward him. “I said shut up.”

  “No. I’m tired of this bullshit.”

  Noel crosses his arms and furrows his brow. He’s clearly confused about the tension between Mike and Sophie too. He steps closer. “Mike…? What the hell is going on, man?”

  Mike sits on the loveseat and frowns at me before he places his elbows on his knees. His tattooed arms strain as he drops his head into his hands and rubs the back of his buzzed head. “I fucked up.”

  I place a hand on Noel’s forearm. The tension in the air tells me things are about to get ugly fast.

  Mike sighs. “Tell her, Soph. Tell them what we did.”

  Sophie snaps her head toward Mike. “Butt out, and learn to mind your own business.”

  He glares at Sophie. “You don’t think this is my fucking business? Either you tell them, or I will.”

  Her eyes widen. “I don’t think I—”

  “Damn it, Soph!” Mike shouts. “I can’t live with this shit anymore. I can’t stand lying to them. We’re hurting people.”

  Laughter outside cuts through the momentary silence on the bus—the rest of the guys are back from the club. Trip and Tyke make their way onto the bus with Riff in tow. The twins stop dead in their tracks. The tension in the small space is clear. Riff clenches his jaw when he spots Sophie. I feel for him because I know exactly how he feels seeing the two of them together.

  Trip clears his throat. “Should we leave? Looks serious in here.”

  Noel shakes his head as he glares at Mike and Sophie. “No. Stay. You’re just in time to hear some secret Sophie’s been keeping.”

  Trip hops up on the counter, and Tyke leans next to him. Trip watches us as if we’re an entertaining movie—minus the popcorn—while Tyke pulls his lips into a tight line.

  Riff flexes his jaw muscle and steps into Sophie’s view. “How many more secrets can she possibly have?”

  She doesn’t even bother to acknowledge Riff as he stands beside Tyke. Mike frowns at me, and my heart jumps into my throat. Whatever these two are hiding, it’s bad, really bad. The agony is clear on Mike’s face. Sophie locks her gaze on me. I squeeze Noel’s arm as I wait on her to speak.

  She sighs. “The baby doesn’t belong to Noel.”

  Noel’s body tenses as he yells “WHAT?” at the exact same time Riff does.

  Mike stands beside Sophie and threads his fingers through hers. “It’s mine.”

  Noel’s hands fly into his hair, and he grabs handfuls of it. He paces with his eyes closed. He whips his head toward Riff, and a look of what seems like understanding passes between them. “Told you I would’ve never fucked your girl. I would never do that shit to you!”

  Riff’s face twists in anger, and his nostrils flare. “You fucking slut!” He storms off the bus.

  A wave of nausea rolls through me. “Are you sure?”

  Sophie nods. “I never slept with Noel.”

  I rub my forehead. Why the hell would she tell a lie like that? Why would Mike allow another man to claim his child? My heart shatters into a million pieces for Noel. His struggle to be a better man, his inner-war was all for a lie. There wasn’t even a possibility he was the father of her baby.

  “How could you do this to me? You put me through pure fucking hell! Mike, man…” Noel growls in frustration. “I thought we were friends.”

  Mike doesn’t answer, just drops his head again.

  Noel glances up and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m fucking out of here.”

  I grab his arm, but he flings me off and leaves without another glance back. The bus door slams shut, and I jump a little. Tyke pats his brother’s shoulder and jerks a thumb toward the exit. The brothers stalk off after their friend. I swallow hard when I realize everyone’s left me alone with Mike and Sophie. Sophie fidgets, clearly uncomfortable, drawing my attention to her.

  I ask, “What was the point in pinning your unborn baby on Noel when you and Mike are clearly together?”

  She shrugs. “I didn’t really have a choice. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I panicked. Riff can’t have children. Once he found out about Mike, he would have had Noel fire him. I love Mike. I don’t want him to lose his job over me. I knew if I blamed Noel, he wouldn’t remember anything because he parties so damn much. He sleeps with anything that moves—no offense—and Mike would be in the clear.”

  I twist my lips and stare at Mike. “I can’t believe you went along with this. You’re like his brother.”
r />   His shoulders slump and he nods. “I know. That’s what makes this so hard. Watching him struggle has been awful. When you guys fought in the SUV tonight, I saw firsthand what this lie was doing to you both, and I felt guilty. All Noel ever talks about is being with you, how much he loves you. He’s said over and over that if it wasn’t for Sophie, the two of you could have it all. I had to make shit right, even if I lose my job. I love her, and I want to take care of my baby.”

  Tears burn my eyes. This entire time, we could’ve been together. We’ve fought over a lie. The weight of the damage done pushes on me, and a sob escapes my lips. I bury my face in my hands. How can two people be so selfish? It’s not okay to play with people’s heads like that.

  “Lanie…” Mike says, but I can’t look at him.

  I want to scream and yell at them. Tell them how evil they are. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Sophie lied to try to protect someone she loves, and I get that. It’s wrong and completely twisted, but I can respect it.

  “I’m really sorry,” Mike tries again.

  I sniff and bat at the tears rolling down my cheek. “I think you all have done quite enough. You need to go.”

  Sophie’s shoes click against the steps as Mike leads her down them. The door opens and then closes softly. I glance at my suitcase. Noel and the rest of the band are going to need some time to recover from this scandal. They don’t need another girl hanging around and possibly coming between them.

  I start toward the door and head for the group of Black Falcon roadies hanging out near the Escalades. Hopefully one of them will be nice enough to take me to the nearest airport.

  27

  Nothing has changed in the two weeks I was away from Center Stage Marketing. All the employees work furiously on their computers as I pass by. Diana scheduled our meeting for first thing this morning. I think she’s anxious to see my plan for Black Falcon’s charity. I believe Noel didn’t tell her I left the tour a few days early or she would have just fired me over the phone. The door to her office is wide open. I stick my head inside, and she waves me in. I take a seat across from her and balance my computer in my lap.