True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) Read online

  I shake my head. Poor Riff.

  “Riff hated me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

  “Have you seen her since she left?”

  He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either. Not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom. I don’t know how this happened.”

  I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

  Noel’s gaze flicks to mine. “That’s because you’re you. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

  I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

  He sighs and pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine, and I felt sick. I always thought I would start a family with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around who belongs to me made me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

  Noel will make a great father, and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

  He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut.”

  “But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

  “I know, but if it does, I want to be a better father than mine is. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

  “Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

  Noel nods and sets his gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

  Mistakes can happen. I know that. Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell, the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel.

  I ask, “Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney.”

  “I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be a part of everything if that’s my kid.”

  “If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s—”

  He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

  “But it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.” The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “How does Riff feel about all this?”

  Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him, things get…ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”

  He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two. I knew all that male territory-marking was about more than just me. Noel drops my hand and runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked-up mess.

  I can’t watch him fall apart. It’s not him. “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous.”

  He stops pacing and sighs before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump and his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red T-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the floor.

  I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This feels like our good-bye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama. A few quick steps and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit next to him. Our hips and legs touch, and I lift my hand to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends, and he’s hurting. He sighs and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me, and I squeeze my thighs tightly.

  “Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”

  My lips turn down. He doesn’t know this is my good-bye. “Noel…”

  He brushes my lips with his fingertips. “Shhhhhh. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just need to hear you say you love me. That this isn’t going to ruin us.”

  I bite my bottom lip. Even though I’m unbelievably pissed, I can’t deny the feelings in my heart. I do love him, more than anything, but I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. Noel’s eyes plead with me to tell him I love him and that I still need him. I pull his fingers away from my lips and then cup his face. He turns his head and kisses my palm. One last kiss is all I can give him. I can’t tell him that I love him, even though I do, because it will only lead him on.

  I commit to memory every line and curve of his face. Never again will I hold him like this. I lean in and press my lips to his, and he shuts his eyes. He tenses and tentatively moves his lips with mine. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He feels it too. He knows me well enough to know this is it for us. Noel wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. Panic surges through me. If he starts touching me, it’ll be over. It doesn’t take much from him to turn me on, and I can’t let my body overrule my head.

  I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. “Noel…I can’t.”

  He opens his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

  I shrug and drop my hands into my lap. “Does it really matter?”

  “It matters to me. We can work this out. I just need some time to—”

  I shake my head. “No, Noel. I can’t be that girl. I can’t be second in your life. You’ve always known that about me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  He lays his hand on my thigh, and my whole body tingles. “Would you’ve come here—been with me—if you’d have known? I wanted you here with me, and when I saw my shot to make that happen, I took it.”

  I cross my legs in an attempt to create more space between us, but my body instinctively turns into him. “But you lied to me. I can’t forgive that.”

  A harsh breath escapes his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  I move his hand off my thigh. “I believe you, but that doesn’t change the situation. I understand you feel like you need to be with Sophie. I do. But I can’t be a part of your life during all this.”

  Noel tilts his head. “What are you saying?”

  I take a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

  “Lane?”

  I shake my head and close my eyes. “Please leave.”

  “No. Don’t say that. Don’t shut me out.”

  He’s not going to go willingly, and if I don’t end this now, I might let him con me into staying, being second in his life. I gaze into his eyes and try to look as hard as possible. “I’m done with you.”

  He grabs my hand, and I jerk away. “No.”

  I shove off the bed. “Get the fuck out.”

  Noel steps in front of me. He
leans into me, and I step back, bumping against the wall. “You want me to go?”

  “Yes.”

  He searches my face while his warm breath hits my lips. His hands go on either side of me, effectively pinning me against the wall. Our thighs touch as he pushes against me. I swallow hard and try not to think about how close his body is. His nose traces my chin. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Noel kisses my chin, and I close my eyes. My head tips back. His lips feel amazing, and my chest actually heaves. “You can really give this up? Won’t you miss how I make you feel?”

  Of course I’ll miss this. The entire time we were apart I missed him. This time won’t be an exception, but for my own sanity, I have to end this. I can’t allow my feelings to be toyed with. Knowing I’ve fallen for him again so quickly scares me. If I allow this thing between us to continue and he eventually leaves me for Sophie, I’ll be crushed. I’m just trying to think ahead.

  A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn my head away from him. “Please stop hurting me.” The words come out as a whisper, but I know he hears them.

  He flinches, drops his arms—freeing me from his muscular prison—and steps back. He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lane.” Before another word can be said, he turns and heads out the door. I jump when the door slams behind him.

  22

  The cheapest flight to New York leaves tonight at nine o’clock. It sucks I have to pack up and leave this room Mike so graciously gave me. Checkout is at noon, and hanging out in the airport for eight hours will suck so much.

  I throw my pajamas in my bag and zip it. I walk toward the door as a knock startles me. I open the door without looking through the peephole and stop in my tracks. “Mike? What’s up?”

  He shoves his sunglasses on top of his head. “Oh, good. You’re ready.”

  I tilt my head. “Ready?”

  “Yeah, I’m here to take you back to the bus.”

  I shake my head. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming over here, but I’m not going back.”

  Mike frowns, and his eyes look sad. “Noel knew you would say that. Here.” He hands me a paper.

  I take it. “What’s this?”

  “Your contract.”

  My brow furrows as I read through the legal document baring my signature and Noel’s. “I don’t understand.”

  Mike shrugs. “It basically says if you don’t follow through with this charity project, Black Falcon can sue you.”

  “Me?” I nearly shriek. “He wouldn’t—”

  “I think you underestimate how far Noel will go to get his way.”

  That selfish son of a bitch. Sue me? Is he seriously stooping to this level? I’m going to kill him. I rub my face as my pulse races. “Where is he? The bus?”

  Mike nods and grabs my suitcase. “Come on, I have the Escalade parked out front.”

  After we get settled into the SUV and get on the road, I notice Mike glance at me every couple of seconds. His concern is sweet and I appreciate it, but I’m too pissed to speak without yelling. I map out in my mind exactly what I’m going to say to Noel. Every vulgar curse word I know pops into my head at least once. I can’t believe he has the nerve to pull this shit.

  Mike parks near Big Bertha and shuts off the engine. “Take it easy on the guy. He’s desperate to keep you around.”

  I pick at my nail to keep from looking at Mike. He works for Black Falcon, so of course he’s going to take Noel’s side. “Thanks for the ride. I hope this won’t take too long. There’s a flight back to New York tonight with my name on it.”

  He chuckles. “I won’t hold my breath. Noel usually gets what he wants.”

  I roll my eyes as I open the door. “So I’ve heard.”

  Mike beats me to the back of the SUV and hands over my luggage. “See you around.”

  More than anything, I want to laugh and bet him he’ll be surprised by just how little Noel will get his way with me, but I don’t. I don’t want to sound bitter and childish. Instead, I wave and pop the handle on my suitcase.

  Trip and Tyke open the door to the bus and step out onto the pavement. Trip notices me and elbows Tyke. They stand there waiting for me to approach. This could be bad. It looks as though they want to guard the door and not let me on.

  I tilt up my chin when I’m within a couple feet from them. I’m getting on that bus to give Noel Falcon a piece of my mind and those two won’t stop me. “Hey, guys. Noel in there?”

  Trip grins. “Nice! You’re still coming with us. This should be interesting.”

  I shake my head. “I just have some…business with Noel.”

  Tyke looks concerned while Trip appears absolutely delighted. I run my fingers through my hair and start toward the door.

  Tyke places a hand on my forearm. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

  I stop and tilt up my chin. “I appreciate your concern, Tyke, but I can handle Noel.”

  He removes his hand and nods before patting his brother’s back. “Come on, bro. Riff’s not in there, so I think it’s safe to let her in.” They part, and Trip motions me by with a grand sweep of his arm.

  I fling open the door and my suitcase bangs against each step as I make my way up. Noel’s sitting on the edge of one of the captain’s seats strumming his guitar. He doesn’t even bother to help me with my bag. Jerk.

  I fold my arms and stand there, ready for a fight, but he just keeps playing that stupid guitar as if I’m not even there. He closes his eyes and hums to the melody as though he’s trying to figure out the lyrics. I remember him doing the same thing when we dated before. Noel licks his lips and slides the bottom one between his teeth. It’s a simple move, but it’s unbelievably sexy. The need to feel his skin causes my pulse to kick up a notch. Damn him. He’s doing this to me on purpose. I reach over and wrap my fingers around the neck of his guitar, cutting off its sound.

  Noel opens his blue eyes and grins in that sexy way that makes me weak in the knees. “Oh, hey, Lane, I didn’t see you there. You can go ahead and take your stuff on back to the bedroom.”

  Is he serious? “Do you think this is some kind of game?”

  He rests his arms casually on the guitar—tattoos directly in my line of sight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m simply directing a guest slash employee where to store her personal belongings. Don’t see much of a game in that.”

  I throw up my arms. “You’re unbelievable! You know that? If you think for one minute that you can force me to stay here, you’ve—”

  In one swift move, Noel leans the guitar against the wall and stands directly in front of me. Damn these tight-spaced buses. He grabs my bag. I try to swat away his hands, but he’s too quick.

  I stay hot on his heels as he starts down the hallway. “Give me back my stuff.”

  “No,” he says before he unzips the suitcase and dumps the contents on the bed.

  My clothes, makeup, and other personal items land in a messy heap. “You asshole! Why did you do that?”

  His eyes meet mine. “Because the sooner you see you aren’t going anywhere, the better.”

  I snatch the clothing. Noel smirks and shoves my bag behind his back. I scowl at him. "What's your problem? Give it to me."

  A loud thud sounds in the tiny room as Noel drops the luggage. "Keep being so bossy with me, and I might just give it to you right now." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

  I roll my eyes. "You're crazy. I can't keep up with you and these Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mood swings you’ve got going on."

  He steps so close to me his leg touches mine. "No mood swings. I'm just making sure you keep your end of the deal."

  "How can you expect me to stay here after all this?" I whisper.

  Noel grabs the waistband of my jeans and yanks me flush against him. Heat sears through me as he dips his index finger inside my jeans and traces the sensitive skin on my stomach. I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my head tilt back. Damn my stupid body for wanting
him.

  He chuckles, and my eyes land on his smug face. “See how easily I can turn you on? That’s why I expect you to stay—because you still want this.”

  He releases me, and I gasp at the loss of his warmth which makes him smile even bigger. Why does he have to be so damn sexy? It makes the battle between my body and my head unwinnable. I hug my clothes tight as Noel steps around me and heads out the door. So much for having a rational conversation with him. The contract I signed with lies on the bed. It obviously fell out of my bag when Noel decided to dump out all of its contents.

  I lay my stuff on the bed and sit next to the contract. Legal stuff wasn’t my strong suit in college, but I pick it up and read through it. It looks pretty standard except for the last few clauses. One said that if I didn’t fulfill my personal obligation of remaining on tour with Black Falcon for the full two weeks, I put myself at risk for being sued for breach of contract by both Black Falcon and Center Stage. Diana conveniently forgot to mention that little gem. I’m not even sure that’s legal, but I did sign it, along with Noel and Diana, and I’ve watched enough corny judge television shows to know a signed contract means a lot in court.

  The second point says, at the end of the tour, Black Falcon will hand over all marketing rights to the band to Center Stage. That’s when it occurs to me why Diana brought this contract to me personally. It isn’t on the up and up, and she probably doesn’t want anyone in the firm knowing about her dirty little deal with Noel to make me stay here. Anger boils through me that both of these people trapped me here to get what they want.

  I sigh then fold the paper and stuff it into my back pocket. A newfound determination pumps through me to show both of them how great at selling myself I can be. Since they seem to be able to hold me here legally, I’m going to have to suck it up and figure out a way to be around Noel without letting him crush my heart.

  23

  I don’t bother watching Black Falcon’s concert tonight. The farther I stay away from Noel, the better. Besides, I’ve gotten a ton of work done on the literacy charity while holed up in the bedroom all day. It’s fine by me if he stays away from me.