Brood X: A Firsthand Account of the Great Cicada Invasion Read online

  She touched her belly and wrinkled her pert nose, “I don’t remember Snow White sporting a baby bump. Those are always missing from the Fairy Tales.”

  Seth shouted with laughter. “Okay, but what are you doing with the salad?”

  “Salad?” Lara looked down at the Tupperware she was holding. “It’s just greens, well, carrots and lettuce to be specific. I haven’t seen any bunnies this year. You remember the pair that used to come here last spring.”

  “Yeah, Bunny and Clyde,” he paused for a minute. “You know you’re right. I never noticed.” Seth took the basket and started going towards the brambles, throwing the greens further than Lara could reach. “I wonder where the bunnies went,” he murmured.

  ***

  The camera was laying under the cantilever on the picnic table filming his DIY moment. Seth was underneath a weeping willow, humming Zippity Doo Dah from Disney’s Song of the South. He loved that movie. “Br’er Rabbit was such a character,” he shook his head. His one great memory was when his mother and her then boyfriend Joe took him to Disneyland for a trip of a lifetime. He ate so much and went on every ride, afraid he would never go back again, that he threw up on Main Street during the parade. Even though it was humiliating, he never forgot the innocent joy of being a kid. He couldn’t wait to take his own son on the same rides that exhilarated him as a small boy.

  He had purchased a bird feeder two years ago, but never opened it. Today was the perfect day to fill it with the organic bird feed that Lara bought and hopefully it will turn his backyard into Disneyland.

  It was a long thin tube with a heavy base. He attached a small twine and hung it on the tree. Backing off to admire his handiwork, he nodded with approval. It swayed gently, and fell emptying birdseed all over the grass.

  Sighing, he picked it up and gave it another try. He heard Lara entering through the garage. By the time she dropped her bags and put her bottle of water in the refrigerator, he had successfully hung it from the tree and was singing lustily to draw her outside to see his creation.

  “Oh, Seth! That is so cute!” an overjoyed Lara said as she emerged from the kitchen. “Good work! By the way, the crib is coming tomorrow. That should be a breeze.”

  “This took me like two hours!”

  “So?”

  “I’ll be finished with the crib by Christmas.”

  “As long as it’s done by late August, I don’t care how long it takes you.”

  ***

  The crib lay in pieces littering the floor of the light blue painted room.

  “I’m not sure I like this color,” Lara considered the walls.

  “What’s wrong with it. It’s manly.” Seth reached up to pull a piece of masking tape that still adhered to the trim.

  “What are you going to do with all this?” Lara gestured the piles of hardware, surrounding the rails of a mahogany colored crib.

  Sighing, Seth stretched up to scratch the back of his neck. “I’ll get to it. It’s just really confusing. I can’t imagine what putting together his bicycle is going to be like.”

  “Do you think we should have paid for them to do it?”

  “No. I said I would get to it. I mean, how hard could this really be?”

  ***

  It was a hot June day and they both wanted to be by the pool. Seth and Lara drove down the street on the way for a nice brunch at the diner

  “Man, it’s quiet,” Seth observed.

  “I know. The fourth isn’t for a few weeks. I thought school wasn’t letting out early this year.” Lara looked at the deserted homes. “People must have left for vacation early. I thought they were talking about keeping kids in the school until the end of June.”

  “Oh, you know the people here. They must have gone crazy that it would eat into vacation time. They all take the kids somewhere before camp. Yeah, we’ll squeeze in Europe before li’l Johnny starts basketball camp this year.”

  “Oh, you’re so romantic, Seth,” Lara said with a giggle. “I knew someday I’d get you to Europe.”

  Seth shuddered, “Anything to avoid going to Arizona and visiting Ozzie and Harriet.”

  Lara looked at him sideways. “Maybe we should go to San Francisco and join your mom on her groupie tour with Jimmy Buffett,” she said, referring to Seth’s mom and her Parrothead obsession.

  “Nah, she’s in the Keys this week.” Seth didn’t approve of his mom’s pastimes. She could drink him under the table and made him feel like a rookie.

  “Oh,” Lara defended, “I like her free spirit.”

  “Ugh,” Seth drawled, “I’d rather go to Uzbekistan than spend time with her.”

  “Well, maybe Paris,” Lara offered. “But that still doesn’t explain where everybody has gone.”

  They spied a neighbor loading his car, and Seth pulled over.

  “Seth, what are you doing? We don’t even know this guy.”

  “That’s no problem. I’m the neighborly type. Hello,” Seth called out from the driver’s side of the car.

  The man bent over and warily took in the both of them from the passenger side.

  “Hi, I’m Seth. We live on Cheshire.”

  “Garrett. Garrett Basso,” his arms were full, so he just nodded his head.

  “Yeah, hi, Garrett. What’s going on? The street looks deserted. You heading for Europe?”

  “Europe? No,” Garrett glanced at his wife shepherding two small boys from the house, several bags hanging on her arms.

  “Garrett, you wanna give me a hand?” she shrieked.

  “I’ll be right there. Look, I got to go. We’re outta here,” he looked at Lara’s protruding belly. “I got a place in the woods. Upstate. I need time to set up.”

  “Set up what?” Seth asked.

  “Ya know, the cicadas. I’ve got a wife and kids. I’m not taking any chances,” he motioned to Lara. “You shouldn’t either. Get out of town.”

  Lara gasped.

  The wife yelled, “Garrett!”

  “All right!” he screamed back and turned back to Seth. “Look, I don’t have time to chat. Gotta load up the car.”

  As they pulled away, Lara turned to Seth. “Maybe we should go to my parents’?” Lara looked at him, her blue eyes wide and scared.

  “In this case, I do know what’s worse…your parents,” Seth responded. “Everybody will be back in September and feeling foolish. And by the way, do you think they don’t have bugs in the Catskills? In my opinion he’s going from the frying pan into the fire. I wouldn’t worry about it, Lar. Aside from that, if we change zip codes, you’d have to find a new doctor for Jesse.”

  “Jesse? We’ll have to talk about that one,” Lara responded with a smile.

  ***

  The camera was charging on the kitchen counter. The front door swung open and Seth rushed into the house, slamming it behind him. Dripping with sweat, he was in expensive running gear.

  He raced for the camcorder, and after wiping his face with a dishtowel, he positioned the camera so he could film his face. Flushed and disheveled, he chugged down a mini bottle of water in one gulp.

  “Man that was weird,” he said to no one in particular. Then he spoke to the lens of the camcorder.

  “Hi, all. I want to document what happened. It was so…I can’t describe…weird. I was jogging, you know. It’s gorgeous outside. I heard planes, horns honking, but I did notice something strange, very strange. I want to know where all the birds have gone. I have a feeder.”

  He took the camera and focused on a bird feeder swaying in the summer breeze in their backyard. “I haven’t replaced the food in weeks. Where are the birds?” The door opened and Lara entered carrying a shopping bag. He was momentarily distracted. “Oh hi, honey, what’s for dinner?”

  The camera went dark.

  Chapter 5

  Company

  “Staying with people consists in your not having your own way, and their not having theirs.”

  - Maarten Maartens

  Seth heard a loud crash
followed by an exasperated scream.

  “Lara,” he yelled jumping to his feet taking the steps from the basement two at a time. “Lara, answer me. Are you alright?!”

  “I’m fine. Nothing happened,” she answered in a distracted voice.

  He bumped into the pantry wall separating the laundry room from a small pantry closet.

  “What happened?” A huge box of salt lay broken on the floor. Lara bent to pick it up and Seth stayed her. “I’ll do it. You should have called me if you wanted to get something from the top shelf.”

  He turned to get a dust shovel and whisk broom. “What a mess.”

  “You have no idea. Look! Ewww.” She brushed a pile of the salt away revealing a colony of ants furiously working on taking whatever they could from the spill. “I don’t know how they got in here.”

  Seth crouched down and wiped at the pile of salt. “This is disgusting. Make sure you call an exterminator on Monday. They are huge.”

  “I know. Maybe you should use the dust buster.”

  “If I do, it’s going into the garbage right after,” Seth warned.

  “I’m okay with that,” Lara replied grimly.

  ***

  Seth loosened his tie and fell into his easy chair with a sigh. This interview didn’t even get off the ground. He had months of unemployment left, but it felt as though he was competing with more people for less opportunity. The doorbell screamed in the silence and he cursed, walked over and was shocked to see his brother-in-law standing in the entrance holding a beat up cardboard box.

  “Glen. Come in. What are you doing here?”

  Glen, taller of the two, offered the box to Seth. “I have a few more in the car.” He went to get them and Seth stopped him.

  “Later, I’ll help you. Let me change first. Come on in.” Glen followed Seth into the kitchen and smiled when he spotted the camcorder.

  “Lara’s been talking about your production.” He waved to the lens that quietly filmed on the counter. “I attended a lecture about children’s thyroid disease at the Hilton on the island. Anna asked me to drop off the twin’s baby clothes.”

  “Thanks, Glen. How’s the family?” He actually liked Glen better than her other brother. He was a pediatrician, and lived in Rhode Island with his wife and four kids. Seth found himself always arrested by Glen’s face. It was the male version of Lara, and while her porcelain skin looked lovely on her, it gave Glen an effeminate cast to his appearance. He was a bit too formal for Seth, but had a good heart. Seth tried not to curse around him.

  “Kids are great. How’s the job hunt?” Glen took the water that Seth offered him.

  “It’s tough. I went today and four hundred people showed up for the same job. I’m competing with kids just out of school, who are willing to work for less. I’m thinking of looking into a franchise.”

  “What kind?”

  Seth was evasive. “I don’t know. I’m afraid to risk what we have left on a sandwich shop. Something’s gotta come along. I’ve never not been able to find a job.”

  “Do you need money?” Glen asked softly.

  “No. Thanks.” Seth felt his face heat up. They were all so super educated, his wife’s family. Each one was very successful at what they picked. He would die before he took a handout from them. He didn’t want to be the loser husband. “We’ve been careful. We still have most of our wedding money and I really saved a lot last year before the firm closed.”

  “Your boss was despicable. It was terrible the way he closed the firm taking everyone’s pension.”

  “Yeah. Thank God I didn’t invest there.”

  “Well, do you want to help me bring in the stuff? Where’s Lara?”

  “She had a check-up. Stay a bit. I know she’s on the way home.”

  “What have you heard about the cicadas this summer?” Glen asked.

  “Oh the usual. Come on, though. They come every year, so maybe there’ll be a few more than usual. I’m not panicking. Your sister on the other hand...” Seth offered with a raised eyebrow.

  Glen shrugged. “I know, but they are expecting something out of the ordinary. I’m sending the kids to my parents for the summer.”

  “Really? That’s extreme.”

  “Well, I promised when they retired there, I would do it until they went to camp, so it’s sort of an insurance policy. But, I do get a few weeks alone with Anna.”

  “Hmmm,” Seth nodded. Anna was a Danish supermodel only one of Lara’s brothers could have nailed. She was a Viking. Seth smirked and oddly enough, Glen smiled right back, each caught in the same thought.

  Seth heard the garage door open and said, “Well you’re in luck. Here she is.”

  He heard the garage door open and called out, “Lar, Lar. Your brother’s here.”

  Lara squealed with delight and rushed into the room, quickly pecking Seth and then jumping into her brother’s outstretched arms.

  “You look adorable Lillypad!” Glen held her at arm’s length. “I can’t believe, our baby’s having a baby.”

  Seth winced and wanted to tell her adoring brother she wasn’t such a baby anymore.

  “I gained three pounds this month.”

  “That’s not bad. You’ll take it right off afterwards,” Glen responded. “Anna sent some boxes of baby clothes. She said to tell you, she scrubbed the stains out. They look brand new. Have you picked a name.”

  “We’re still working on it. I like Spencer and Seth is stuck on Murray.”

  “Murray?”

  “Yeah, Murray. It’s different,” Seth insisted.

  Glen shrugged and replied, “Different is good.”

  Seth shot a triumphant look at Lara, once again in good charity with his brother-in-law.

  “You’re staying for dinner. I have enough,” Lara announced as Glen started to protest.

  Lara shushed him. “I won’t hear of anything else.”

  ***

  Seth sighed gustily when he opened the door and saw a sea of UPS boxes piled on his front porch. Everyday boxes started arriving, all from the registry and all a bunch of crap as far as he was concerned. Lara had filled three different registries in all the baby stores and now people were buying the gifts and sending it to them.

  He brought in the latest batch and figured he better start opening them and getting rid of the boxes. Lara complained they bring bugs into the house.

  There were bibs, onesies, bath toys, rubber ducks galore, changing pads, a nuclear diaper pail, skin care, rattles, baby Uggs, baby snot wipes. Seth shook his head as he unpacked all the junk.

  The last box was immense and using a ballpoint pen, he slit it open. Reaching in, he lifted a stuffed pink unicorn on rockers. Dropping it back in the box, he yelled, “Lar...”

  Looking at his in-laws return address on the box, he muttered, “Oh Murray... what were they thinking?”

  “I’m up in the baby’s room,” Lara answered Seth shout. He took the steps two at a time.

  “What’s up buttercup?” he kissed the top of her head upon entering the nursery. She sat on the floor, surrounded by open boxes. In one corner were five different brands of diapers piled on top of each other. In a hamper were assorted teething rings and pacifiers. There must have been a hundred, Seth observed.

  She had put together an infant seat and a play-mat that took up another whole corner of the room. Seth’s football sat among the litter of stuffed animals.

  “They got him a pink horse thing. With a horn in its head. It’s not safe.”

  “It’s a unicorn and it is safe. Boys can like unicorns too.”

  “Not Murray.”

  “We’re moving on to Nathan. I like Nathan.”

  “It looks like a toy store exploded in here.”

  “This is the tip of the iceberg. We need so much more. I’m getting everything set up now. I want it done before I get too big. Do you like the walls?”

  Seth looked at the vinyl transfers Lara had bought at the baby store that now adorned the light, blue walls.


  “You bought bugs?” he asked disbelievingly. “I thought we were doing a safari theme.”

  “That’s all they had in the stores. Aren’t they cute. Look at the trail of ants going up the tree.” She pointed to an army of cute cartoonish insects climbing up the walls to a beehive hanging from the illustration of a tree.

  “It’s creepy Lar. I don’t like it.”

  “Well, I do!” she pouted and that was the end of that.

  ***

  “Man, I’m getting hungry.” Seth rubbed his belly. Admiring his body in the bedroom mirror, he looked at himself sideways. “Too much pickles and ice cream,” he thought. He was wearing a bathing suit and holding the pervasive camcorder in his hand.

  “Seth,” a very pregnant Lara called. “Put the chicken on the grill. They’re here.”

  Seth raised one eyebrow in the mirror and repeated, “They’re here?” in a chilling voice.

  He peeked downstairs. Lara was hugging her best friend in the hallway. “I hope you brought your suits. It turned out to be sunny,” he overheard.

  “You don’t even look pregnant. Dominic, isn’t she the cutest thing?”

  Seth slowly descended the stairs thinking this was only going to be an hour. He kept repeating that mantra in his head hoping it would make him feel better.

  Marni Halverston was rubbing Lara’s belly, and while Seth had on a phony smile, deep down inside he was totally grossed out.

  Any other guy on this planet would be too shy to ask Marni for her number. She was a hot tamale. Curly sandy-blonde hair cascaded down her narrow back. She had deep brown eyes with luscious lashes and a mischievous dimple on either side of her pouting lips. Spending hours at the gym, she sweated out any fat that could be taking up a centimeter on her body. Her figure alone turned heads wherever they went. She was every boy’s crush in school. Hell, she was every guy’s crush, no matter where she went.

  Seth could have had the opportunity to sleep with her in college, but he met Lara at the mixer first. It crossed his mind briefly when they met, but he was more attracted to Lara’s personality. Marni was good for a couple nights. Lara would be good for the rest of his life. It was an easy decision, and he never regretted it.