Cracked Dreams Read online

  CONTENTS

  Acknowledgments

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Final Chapter

  Author Bio

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to the one person without whom I would never have been able to complete my first novel. With your love, influence, and support, I have done what I would’ve assumed was impossible before I met you. Your guidance and advice is worth more to me than whatever proceeds I’ll ever receive from the sales of this novel. Your title is girlfriend (a.k.a. Wifie), and your name is Yolanda, but to me you are “The Sh*t.” I don’t know where I would be in my life without you, and I’ll love you to the death, mommy!

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank who I owe my existence, my mother, Marie Lourdes Baptiste. I want you to know that you taught me the value of hard work and persistence. Even though I can’t recall any “Mom always said” quotes from my youth, what I do recall is the sight of you working with every bit of energy in your body to make sure that my siblings and I always had food in our stomachs and clothes on our backs. Without words, you taught me a lifetime worth of invaluable lessons. For that, I owe you my life and every accomplishment that I make. Thank you and I love you.

  To my sister, Rachel, witnessing the trials and tribulations you’ve experienced and how victorious you’ve become through it all made me realize that every cloud does have a silver lining. You are definitely your mother’s daughter, and this fact is shown time and time again with every goal you concur—not to mention having three beautiful children, Andrew, Craig and Saintulia a.k.a. Tuli (the youngest of which shows the most character and promise [wink, wink]).

  To my big brother, Junior or “Supreme,” thanks for the support in this project. Your assistance only lets me know that you believe in my work and you want to see me succeed. If and when I reach the goals I’ve set for myself, I can proudly say that you were there from the beginning and that you helped along the way as best you could . . .good lookin’ out!

  To my cousin Wise . . .“peace to the Gods!” I know you know that success for me equals success for us. I see you making moves out there on my behalf and I appreciate it like you’ll never know. If I can take this thing as far as I “vision,” you have nothing to worry about . . .I got you!

  Ricardine, you know we’ll always have twice as much love as cousins should have one another, and that will never change. All I hope is that I can be the positive influence you need to follow your dreams. You can have anything you want in the world, just remember that first step will be the hardest. Love ya! What’s up to OJ, Vanessa, Justine, Ralph, Sherlie, Valerie, Christian, Stephan, Barbara (Bobby), Jordan, Nikia, Bianca & Beatrice, Garren, Ricardo, Mimose, and my cousins that I missed, sorry but you’re in my heart.

  INTRODUCTION

  Another “Bronx Tale.” There was never one like it, and there never will be. This should just bring you mu’fuckas up-to-date; that’s all. For the most part, you don’t hear much of the Bronx. Anyone that doesn’t grow up here would imagine that there’s a constant war in the streets. In a way, they’re one hundred percent correct, but it’s not at all as serious as most would believe. One thing is true though; you don’t want to fuck with the Bronx. Any of these other boroughs, like BK, the Q-borough, or Harlem World, they may permit mu’fuckas calling them all kinds of faggots and bitches and pussies, but not over here, dog. It can get very ugly for you in these streets. It’s not the place for games, for real. As much as you don’t hear about us, our streets house the most criminals. Before you get it twisted, just ask yourself one question. Who has the highest crime rate? Robbery, murder, drug traffic, prostitution, etc . . ..it’s all here. As much as you don’t hear about us, whenever you ask a nigga from the Bronx where he’s from, you twist up your fuckin’ face when he tells you. You know what? We don’t give a fuck! You ain’t got no friends over here either, pussy. Whatever you got to say about the Bronx don’t mean shit. These niggas know how to get money, these niggas know how to bubble the right fuckin’ way, and these niggas know how to stay the fuck out of jail. Unless, of course, you get some nigga flappin’ his lips. There’s always an occasional bitch-ass nigga that slips through the cracks, but that’s how the game goes. When it’s your turn, you gonna get it, too. You can get it from behind or dead center of your chest, eye-to-eye. You could get it from your man, or some lil’ nigga, tryin to make a name for himself in these streets. There’s a thousand and one different ways to get it out here, mu’fucka. So anyway you put it . . .a lot of niggas get killed in the Bronx!

  CHAPTER 1

  YEAR — 2000

  It’s kind of quiet tonight . . . Traffic’s moving slowly. No movement could be recognized in the distance. Hard to believe that the first day of the new millennium had just come to a close. The streets were filled with fireworks, loud people and Y2K tension all throughout the city only a day ago. Now, there was no evidence left of the celebration that had taken place only twenty-four hours ago. No champagne bottles or horns, no confetti or balloons; just stillness. All that could be noticed through the darkness of Bronx Park up on the North Side were a few cigarette butts, empty beer cans, and the slightest scent of marijuana. Then, out of the silence, “Fuck!” said a young brother sitting on a wooden bench in the park before relighting a small blunt he’d previously put out. “Ain’t shit moving out here tonight,” he said, blowing smoke into the air.

  Directly across from where he was sitting was a highway that had very little traffic at that time of night. On his right were stairs that led to an overpass that contained even less vehicle traffic. Ironically named Gun Hill Road, this is where only hustlers, addicts, prostitutes and pimps would dwell after a certain hour. Directly behind him was the Bronx River, also where hustlers, addicts, prostitutes and pimps could be found, but more than likely on the bottom of that shit, or floating atop.

  “Damn, it’s cold out here,” he said, blowing into his hands before rubbing them together for warmth. This was Michael Banner, or known to the streets as “Spits,” a name he’d picked from his reputation as a battle-rapper. He was what you called your neighborhood street pharmacist, pusher, hustler, or plainly put, drug dealer. He stood about six feet one and weighed about two-forty, but his baby-face could throw you off a bit. Brown skin, light facial hair and long braids described Michael to the tee.

  More than anything, Michael enjoyed music; from the standpoint of a producer, writer or a vocalist. But one thing about the music business: it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And then it’s not even who you know, but who knows you. So Michael didn’t pick music as his primary career goal. He didn’t like the fact that he’d have to depend on anyone but himself to get ahead. Nope, he chose drugs. Once he’d made his first sale on the streets, it was a wrap. This is what was up. Even before then, he was always attracted to the street life. Growing up in the streets of the Bronx was considered a never-ending battle to him, and he needed to win.

  “Yo, what’s up, ol’ timer? You i-ight?” Spits asked an older guy walking past him.

  “I’m fine,” he responded confusing
ly.

  “Mu’fucka, don’t you look at me funny. What you want, a dime? A twenty? How much?” Spits said angrily.

  The old man, now realizing Spits was a hustler, went into game mode. “I don’t even know you, young man,” he said, showing a devilish grin. “How can I be sure your stuff is class A? If you give me a sample and it’s good, I can make you a rich man.”

  Spits looked at him as if he was containing himself from exploding. “Nigga, I look new or something? I’m on grind-mode pussy, and I ain’t out here to be gamed out of mines. Besides, I been rich, nigga,” Spits said, spitting flames at the old man. “Fuckin’ custees, man. They always trying to gee off!” he said walking away.

  You see this was all new for Michael. He’d lost the flavor in his mouth for direct sales long ago. He’d since moved up and never once looked back. In a little over four years, Michael had turned a small-time nickel-and-dime venture into a notorious drug ring known all over the streets, up and down the East and West coasts. But now, after all of that, he was on his grind again, ready to hug the block until the early hours of the morning if necessary. That’s just how the game went, according to him. Ups and downs ain’t shit. Take the loss and apply some pressure of your own. But it wasn’t just by chance that all four of Michael’s “drugstores” got raided on the same day. It wasn’t a coincidence that this happened to occur on a re-up day—of all days. Between all four spots, there was about ninety-six bricks uncut, valued at 5.7 million on the street. You goddamn right he should’ve been fuckin’ mad. You see, all was good and money was rolling in faster, and more abundantly than was predicted, right up until his man got a murder charge.

  The repercussions of these events were reminiscent of when Michael got his first taste of the street life. Even more so, he was reminded of the years prior to then, when everything was all good in the hood.

  YEAR — 1996

  Every morning like clockwork, Michael’s three best friends, Peter, Chris and Mikey, would pick him up for school. And every morning like clockwork, Peter, Chris and Mikey would ditch while Michael went to class alone. It seemed odd, but that was the daily routine for them. They would all stop by Michael’s crib because, for one, he lived the closest to the school that they attended, and two, so that they could try and convince him not to go. They did this knowing that they wouldn’t all be attending class that day. While Michael was in school falling asleep in the classes that were too easy for him, the rest of the guys were running the streets trying to scrounge up paper the only way they knew how—robbing and stealing—just to support their marijuana and alcohol habits. Don’t get it twisted; every so often Michael would cut with them and it would be the same ol’ thing. They would go up to Yonkers to rob white kids on their way to school, just to go back down to Intervale Avenue on the 2 Train where they bought dime bags of Skunk Weed that were as fat as twenty-sacks. When they’d had enough weed to last them the day, they’d get a few St. Ides forty-ounces to sip on, and then make their way either to the park, or to whomever’s home was available. This was a regular day for them. Whatever they did to get the money, they could accumulate up to thirty or forty bucks, and it would all be gone by the time it hit two o’clock when school really let out.

  Michael came from a single-parent home, and all he saw growing up was his mother breaking her back to provide for him and his younger brother. He also had an older sister, but they had different fathers. She lived with her father in California, so they didn’t see or speak to each other often. All Michael saw was the struggle and knew that he didn’t want that for himself, so at first, he leaned toward education to rescue him from hard times to come. He figured that his mother not finishing high school, in the least, contributed to her having to work so hard for a living. So school became his out. This was how he would prevent himself from the backbreaking work he saw his mother perform to put food on the table. This went on all through Michael’s life, but his views started to stray once material things became of some importance to him.

  “Yo, I wonder what it’s gonna be like when we get older and start getting some real money,” Michael said to the others as they occupied a bench in Bronx Park at the bottom of 222nd Street.

  “Word,” agreed Peter. “I want to have a nice fat crib with a swimming pool and basketball court, yo. Word up!”

  “That would be ill though, son,” approved Chris. “We would have every bitch in the Bronx on our dicks.”

  “Fuck these bitches out here, nigga,” Mikey said. “I’m gonna have bitches from Jamaica, Puerto Rico, and even Africa, nigga. Matter of fact, I want some Hawaiian pussy, son. That’s my word!”

  “On the real though, this nigga would fuck a bitch that made his dick turn green, yo,” Chris said as they all shared a healthy laugh.

  “Fuck you,” Mikey simply countered.

  The better halves of Michael’s days were usually spent fantasizing about fancy cars, and exotic women. He wanted to travel the world twice over, and he wanted it for himself just as much as he wanted it for his friends and family. He often wondered why his father wasn’t around, but never once wanted to find him or anything. Instead, he took responsibility for him. If his father wasn’t man enough to provide a better life for him, his mother, and his brother, then he would make it up to them himself.

  Michael and his childhood friends would endlessly talk about how they would be rich and famous. They knew for a fact they would all prosper in life. They would continuously discuss what they would do with millions and how many women they would have. It wasn’t considered unhealthy for them to have a good imagination, as long as they didn’t lose touch with reality too much. Growing up in their situation would make anybody try as much as possible to lose touch with reality.

  Michael was always book smart by choice. It didn’t come naturally to him, as did the streets. He didn’t have to apply himself much to pick up street smarts because it was in fact a necessity. It was nothing for him to balance the both without one getting in the way of the other, or so it seemed. Only thing is, now he’d become more and more attracted to the streets. Although he seemed to have his schooling under control—just about finishing his sophomore year at Evander Childs High School without any complications—he thought he deserved immediate ratification for his efforts. He deserved just as much as any one of his peers, and didn’t seem to be getting it. Kids his age had already experienced what he had only dreamed about. Fast cars, expensive clothes and jewelry were soon to be in his grasp, one way or another.

  Now, with his second year of high school coming to an end, he had devised a plan to get some extra money over the summer. He planned that between him and his crew of friends, they could make a buy into the drug game. It had started out that the money would be for some new clothes, and some jewelry. Possibly they could even get a nice whip he and his crew could drive around, but it quickly became much more.

  Spits was semi-connected to the game through his cousin, Vision. They called him Vision because he always thought he saw things differently than others. His real name was Stanley, so that could’ve been another reason for him wanting to change it. Anyway, Vision had made a few connections while serving time in Bear Mountain Correctional Facility. He was there for a gun possession charge but he’d aspired to be in the drug game, so he took getting locked up as an opportunity to make connections. He had just been paroled right before that summer in ’96. When Spits put him on to what he had planned, he said, “to hell with parole,” and he was all in. He would be the connection that they needed to get their shit off the ground.

  The plan Spits had devised suggested that everybody down would come up with the buy-in price of $500; just enough to get about a half-ounce of coke each. Nothing major by itself, but collectively, they could make a little noise in their little part of the Bronx. Once he introduced the idea, it was on and poppin’. It was on everybody involved to come up with their share and they all had a week to do so. Michael felt comfortable in himself, as he’d already had $500 saved for a rai
ny day. Others had plans of their own.

  Now Chris was the hothead of the bunch. Chris adopted the call Ceelow from his given name Christopher Loew. Ceelow, or just Cee, was dark-skinned and stood six feet flat. He wore a tapered Caesar fade with 360-degree waves. He was always really serious about his appearance, and always had the whitest T’s all through the summer. Ceelow planned on obtaining his share of the buy-in with the proceeds from numerous strong-arm robberies. Spits had designated him to make sure no one would try and make a move on the spot or anybody on their crew. Basically, Cee would secure the block and report anything unusual. This was perfect for Cee because anytime something went down involving the rest of the crew he got right in the middle of it anyway. So it was fitting that he handled security.

  With a cat like Ceelow on your crew, you needed someone with a little more rationalism; just to even things out. That’s where Pop, or Mikey, came in. Mikey got the name Pop because he would try to come off like a father figure, giving advice and looking at every situation as a possible problem that needed to be resolved. Being the only one of the crew to actually grow up with his father, plus a two-year age difference, he figured that gave him seniority. Pop’s real name was Mikey Black. Ironically, Pop was the blackest motherfucker you would ever see, and he stood six-three with a nappy afro. Pop had picked up a lot from his father while he was growing up. He always worked well with his hands, and as a kid, he was often called McGuiver. That’s how he intended on obtaining his share of the buy-in, from fixing bikes, cars, or doing work around someone’s house. That was the easiest way he knew how to get money, plus he would be enjoying himself. Now although Pop wasn’t as short-tempered as Cee, he was just as ruthless. He was designated as second to Ceelow for security measures. They would make the perfect team, and their characteristics had enough contrast to offset the other’s actions.

  Peter, or Trigger as they called him, would handle the finances. He would make sure that they weren’t getting shorted on profit. Trigger’s real name was Peter Beckford, but whoever knew him called him Trigger for one of two reasons. One would be the obvious relation to some gangsta shit. The other was because Trigger was somewhat of a playboy. So the name could also be related to how easily he “pulled” the ladies. Trigger could fuck your girl, her sister and best friend the next day, and hang out with all three of them the day after that with no complications. That’s how he got his buy-in money. He convinced a few girls into sacrificing some sneaker money to contribute to his cause. He was slick with his shit like that. Spits also knew Trigger the longest, and they shared the same book smarts. They’d met in the first grade and had become inseparable ever since. They’d even discovered their love for music together, and would often write songs and make beats with one another. Trigger was five feet eight inches, brown-skinned and wore braids in his hair as well.