Fool, Stop Trippin' Read online

  “You ain’t trying to shaft me, are you?”

  “Naw, sis…uh…Amber. I ain’t trying to shaft you, honest.”

  “Where is his body shop?”

  “It’s about five blocks from here. All I need to do is drop by my sister’s and ask her to watch the kids and I will ride with you to my cousin’s shop. I don’t want to take the kids with us because a body shop ain’t a place for children.” I can see the conflict in Amber’s eyes. I pray that she’ll come to the right decision.

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Cool, I’ll lead the way.”

  “Don’t try to rush off and lose me.”

  “Keep my license. You’ll be able to find me if I try to run, but I promise I will go as slow as I need to for you to keep up. If I get too fast for you, beep your horn and I will slow down. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  We get in our respective cars and I gently rock our cars apart. Kayla had really jammed our cars together good. Lawd, please don’t let her whole front end fall off when I get us apart. Finally, we are separated. I slowly pull out of the parking lot with Amber close on my tail.

  I look in the rearview mirror at the solemn eyes of the four children. Clearing my throat, I start to caution the children against running their mouths about the accident, but they beat me to it. In unison, the children quip, “Not a word of this to your mother.”

  I laugh because something always seems to happen that forces me to swear them to secrecy.

  Tarcia

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, Tarcia, it’s Meeka. How you doing?”

  “I can’t complain.” What’s this bitch want? She hasn’t spoken to me in two years.

  “Are you and Kentee still dating?”

  “Yeah.” She doesn’t need to know that things aren’t going so good at the moment. In fact, the less I say to her about Kentee the better, ’cause that was the reason we fell out in the first place.

  “Oh. I just saw him, so I thought I would ask.”

  “Where did you see Kentee?” She better not start some shit with me about Kentee because I will go over there and kick her troll-looking ass.

  “At the skating rink. I’ve been going there on the weekends to get my exercise in. A girl has got to stay in shape, you know.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. He is with his kids today, so it would make sense for him to be at the skating rink.”

  “I didn’t see his kids. He acted like he was there by himself.”

  “‘Acted like’? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Uh…I mean…I just didn’t see his kids. I guess they were there somewhere in the rink and I probably didn’t recognize them. After all, it’s been almost two years since I saw pictures of them and now that I think about it, there were a lot of children there. So yeah, they could have been there.” She’s rambling, and normally when a person starts to babble they’re lying or trying to hide something.

  “Cut the shit, Meeka. What did you really call to tell me?”

  “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but Kentee was all up in my face asking for my phone number and I wanted to know if you two were still kicking it before I let him holla at me.”

  “Let him holla at you? Girl, I can’t believe you would even twist your lips to say that to me. Even if we weren’t together, which we are, why would you want my sloppy seconds? Don’t you know that boyfriends, either current or past, are off-limits to friends?”

  “Well, Tarcia, since you want to get all stank with me, we ain’t been friends in a long time. I was giving you a courtesy call before I accept his invitation to dinner.” Oh, hell naw. Now I know she’s lying. Kentee might have tried to get into her panties, but his cheap ass is not springing for no meal unless she gives up the ass first, he gets hungry, and he can’t get rid of her. He might take her to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, but that is it. I know that much about Kentee.

  “Meeka, you’re a lying ass. You might have seen Kentee, but as far as him asking you out to dinner I won’t believe that even if I see it with my own eyes. First of all, you are not his type. Secondly, he knows you and I used to be friends.”

  “Well, obviously he forgot because he did push up on me. When I wouldn’t give him my number, he gave me his.”

  “So what’s his number?”

  “Uh…”

  “I thought so. Bitch, don’t call my house no damn mo’.”

  Kentee

  Leaving the kids with my sister, I’m free to handle our business. I am ready to get this shit behind me and go for a stiff drink, a hot meal, and hot sex, in that order. It doesn’t matter where I get it from as long as it is good.

  “Do you want to follow me or can I ride with you?”

  “Ride with me. That way I’ll know you are on the up and up.”

  “Are you going to bring me back to pick up my car?”

  “That depends on your cousin’s shop. If you lied to me, the ‘po-po’ will allow you one phone call to be picked up.”

  Damn, what a bitch. I park my car and get in the car with Amber.

  “Dag, you don’t give a brotha any slack, do you?”

  “Why should I? Momma didn’t raise a fool.”

  “Oh, okay. But if you allow yourself to get to know me, you will find out that I am one of the nice guys.”

  “So you say.” I laugh because of the emotion she puts into her words. After a few seconds, she laughs too, slicing the tension that is riding in the car with us.

  “I just want to thank you for not involving DeKalb County in all of this.”

  “You ain’t out the woods yet. If I suspect any shady business at your cousin’s shop, I’m not only gonna call DeKalb County, I’m gonna call all my kinfolk too. I ain’t trying to get all caught up in some chop-shop type of shit.”

  “Oh, Lawd, not the kinfolk. You wanna make sure I get the beat down. Well, I ain’t even trying to go there. This face is too pretty to mess up.”

  “Umph.”

  “What? You don’t think this face is cute?” I turn left and right, giving her both sides of my profile.

  “I think you’re your biggest fan.”

  “Ouch. You didn’t have to go there.”

  “Just callin’ it like I see it.”

  “Hey, I love myself, but there is enough to go around.”

  “I’ll bet you do.” A witty retort escapes me, so instead of floundering awkwardly, I compliment her.

  “You are one fine woman.” I must have shocked her ’cause she took her foot off the gas momentarily.

  “Which way?”

  “Turn left at the next light.” Silence fills the car once again. I really don’t mind the silence ’cause at least she ain’t cussing at me and giving me more grief, but I’m beginning to get a little ticked because this is cutting into my time. I should have dropped the children off a half hour ago and I really don’t feel like hearing Leah’s mouth when I get there. I’m surprised that she isn’t blowing up my phone. I still have to go back and get them and drive halfway across town, which will make me late for Tarcia’s house, and when that girl gets a hold on attitude, she doesn’t let it go easily.

  If my money wasn’t funny, I would drop off the kids and have me a few drinks and some supper at Hooters. Since my pockets are light, I will have to settle for Tarcia. Hopefully, since her cousin is there, she won’t clown on my ass in front of her. The reality is I’m damn near broke and payday ain’t until next week. I hope Tarcia will let me hold a few dollars to tide me over. I allow my irritation to manifest into attitude toward this haughty-ass bitch sitting next to me. She acts like I have to kiss her ass just ’cause of a little fender bender. Well, she can kiss my black ass if she thinks I’m going to keep taking this shit from her.

  “Am I still going right?”

  “Yeah, turn right at the second light. The shop is on the left-hand side.” I fold my arms across my chest, trying my best not to look at her long slender legs peeking out from under her short skirt. The fra
grance she is wearing is tickling my nose and I can’t help but to gulp in deep breaths of her essence. My dick has gotten hard just smelling her and I have to fold my hands in my lap to keep her from seeing it trying to get out of my pants.

  “What’s the name of the perfume that you are wearing?” Amber acts as if she doesn’t want to tell me, but finally relents.

  “Clinique Happy.”

  “It suits you.”

  “Thanks.” She parks the car and I bounce out to go speak to my cousin.

  “Be right back.” I don’t wait for her to respond as I trot to the shop. I fill in my cousin on the details and he agrees to help me out.

  “So what did your cousin say?”

  “He’ll be right out to give me the estimate and describe what he will do to your car. I told him you are my girlfriend.”

  “You wish.” She’s right, for a nanosecond I do. There’s something about this little fireball that makes me want to get to know her better. She’s obviously one of those serious chicks always thinking of ways to come up. She is just the type of woman that I need in my life if I am doing the right thing. She’s such a tease with a bite, but I’m gonna have to cut her down to bite size if I don’t want to choke on her.

  “Look, girl, you fyne and all that, but I ain’t sweating you like that. I just want him to fix your car so I can go on with my life.”

  “Oh, am I detecting an attitude? Because I can get mines back; it ain’t a thang but a chicken wing.”

  “Naw, I’m just trying to tell you I ain’t sweating you.” She huffs and puffs, folding her arms under her beautiful breasts. As hard as I am, it’s difficult to ignore her perky nipples, but I’m trying. Our verbal sparring ends when my cousin comes out, and not a minute too soon ’cause I was about to put my hands around this pretty heifer’s neck.

  “Don’t you want to know what my cousin thinks?” Bitch, get out of the car and talk to the man. Damn, I thought you were smart.

  “I was waiting on you.” Pissed, I exit the car. I’m probably going to have to ask my cousin to drive me back to my car ’cause me and this bitch aren’t gonna make it without me having to slap her ass. I’m amazed that someone who comes in such a cute package could be such a fucking bitch.

  My cousin gives her a date to bring the car in and Amber and I exchange numbers. She gives me back my license after copying down my information. She gets back in her car, but doesn’t start it right away.

  “Don’t you want a lift to your car?”

  “Naw, I’m straight, my cousin will drop me off.” My cousin gives me the “oh hell I ain’t” look, but doesn’t dispute me.

  “Whateva.” She backs up the car, flips me the bird, and is gone. Twice in one day I have escaped a she-devil in disguise. Maybe I really do need to slow my roll. Naw, I think not!

  Tarcia

  When I open the door the most marvelous aroma greets me. I place my purse on the coffee table and go into the kitchen to see what’s up.

  Lasonji is stirring a large pot. Her back’s to me so I can’t tell if she still has an attitude.

  “Whatcha cookin’?”

  “Red beans and rice.” I do a double-take. How did she know I was going to cook the very same thing tonight? My knees buckle and I clutch the countertop to keep from falling. Premonition? Psychic ability? Voodoo?

  “Smells good.” I try to mask my fear as I turn to go back to my room.

  “You still like it, don’t you?”

  “Uh, yeah, but I guess it spooked me that I just went to the store to get some ingredients to make it, only to find out that I didn’t have my wallet.”

  “So where is your wallet?”

  “Beats the shit out of me.” I back out of the kitchen, unwilling to turn my back on my cousin. I’m afraid of my own flesh and blood. Regardless of how good it smells, I doubt that I will be able to eat any dinner tonight.

  I put my purse on my bed and begin searching my room, but my wallet has disappeared. Locking the door, I decide to take a shower while I’m in the room. I want to be dressed when Kentee shows up because I don’t want him spending any time alone with Lasonji. I can’t trust the things that come out of her mouth because she is very opinionated.

  I finish my shower and put lotion all over my body. Sliding into my clothes, I cannot get these coincidences out of my mind. I believe in déjà vu because I’ve experienced these feelings before but never in my life do I recall so many incidents occurring at the same time. In fact, all this weird shit started happening when Lasonji arrived. Unexpectedly frightened about what else she could be putting in the dinner pot, I return to the kitchen.

  “You find it?”

  “No. It has to be here somewhere ’cause I haven’t been anywhere in days.”

  “Yeah, as soon as you stop looking for something it usually shows up.”

  “So what made you pick this meal to cook?”

  “I don’t know, I woke up with red beans on the brain.”

  “Wow, so did I. Oh, by the way, Kentee said that he is going to come through tonight. Do you mind if we have one more for supper? It looks like you made enough.” I scan the counter for her ingredients but she apparently cleans as she cooks. I even try to peek in the trash can, but that would be too obvious. I will have to wait until she either goes in her room or retires for the night.

  “Sure, I’m anxious to meet the brotha who has got your nose all wide open.”

  “My nose is not wide open.”

  “Oh, my bad.”

  “Do you want to invite any of your friends to dinner?”

  “Very funny. There will be a day when I have friends in Atlanta and I might take you up on that offer.” Rather than stay and trade barbs with Lasonji I decide to return to my room to put on my makeup.

  “Do you need me to do anything to help you?”

  “Naw, I got this.”

  “Fine, I’m gonna do my makeup and perhaps read a little before he gets here. I’m not sure what time he is coming.”

  “Figures.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I didn’t say anything.” I want to call her a liar so bad it actually hurts, but I refuse to take the bait. I return to my room, taking care not to slam the door like I really feel like doing. This day had been weird all the way around, beginning with the nightmare I had last night and including the aborted argument that I had with my cousin. I hope that some serious fucking will stop the creepy crawlies from tramping down my back.

  I spray my pressure points with musk oil. Kentee doesn’t go for those expensive perfumes. He says a woman’s natural scent does it for him. I twist my hair in a bun and lightly apply my makeup. My lip gloss is missing from the bathroom countertop, so I check my purse. The fact that my wallet is in my purse doesn’t strike me until I return to the bathroom. Rushing back to look again, my mouth just hangs open in shock.

  “What the fuck?” I know that wallet wasn’t in my purse the whole time, but I have no other explanation as to how it is there now and not when I was in the market. There was no way that I missed it since I damn near emptied my purse looking for it.

  Lasonji? That is impossible because my door’s locked and I keep the bathroom door open as I shower. There is no way she could have gotten into my room to replace the wallet without my either seeing or hearing her. So how the hell else did it get there?

  Picking up my wallet, I go through it to make sure that everything is still in place. “Damn, first I lose my job and now I am losing my mind.”

  Despondent, I shuffle back to the kitchen barely picking up my feet. Lasonji is reading the paper and sipping on a cup of tea. My body slumps to the nearest chair as I wait for her to ask me what is wrong. When she doesn’t ask quick enough, I sigh loudly. Folding the paper, she just stares at me.

  “What’s the problem now? I did not touch your paper. I bought it when I went to the store.”

  “Huh?”

  “The paper, remember you got all prissy with me this morning about it. I thought you were
about to start that crap again.”

  “Naw, I was just thinking, that’s all.”

  “About what?”

  “Oh, nothing.” She stares at me for a few minutes more before she resumes reading. I rest my head on my elbows and would have fallen asleep if the phone hadn’t rung.

  “Hello.”

  “Yo, I’m about to run through. I hope you made something to eat ’cause I’m starving like Marvin.”

  “Yeah, we got some grub. My cousin hooked us up. It should be ready soon.”

  “Good.” He hangs up before I can ask him if he wants me to pick up some dessert. Kentee loves cheesecake and I decide to run out and pick up one as a surprise for him. I even have some canned strawberries that can go on top.

  “Hey, I’m gonna run down to the bakery and pick up a cheesecake.”

  “I got one already, strawberry.”

  “Say what? Damn, are you reading my mind or something?”

  “Girl, stop trippin’. I can’t do no shit like that.”

  “Well, it sure as hell feels like it.” She gets up and starts stirring her pots. I say it’s a joke, but the more I think about it, the more believable it is. There isn’t any other explanation for this. I begin thinking of our last night together before I left New Orleans. We had been invited over to Lasonji’s house for a cookout and we were playing jacks on the front porch after stuffing our bellies to near eruption. If she can read my mind, she will remember and start talking about that day too. I got sick that night and threw up all over her porch and her momma made me clean it up.

  “So was that him?”

  Every time I looked at it, I wanted to throw up again and the smell was enough to gag a maggot. My Aunt Alice wanted to read the vomit, but Momma wouldn’t let her. I just cleaned it up as fast as I could and Momma made us leave. We moved two days later.

  “Hey, are you listening to me?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. What did you say?”

  “I asked if that was your friend.”