Lawd, Mo' Drama Read online

  Every time I closed my eyes, I could hear the shots and the thud of Marie’s body hitting the porch. Time stood still as I raced to the door expecting to see Jessie wielding a gun, looking for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Marie would be the intended target and the killer would be her own boyfriend. My grief knew no boundaries as I tried to wrestle with it. So I continued to dodge those memories and stray away from conversations that led back to the first friend I ever had. For a minute I was mad at Leah for bringing up the memory of Marie’s death. Leah wasn’t there to hear the shots; she didn’t hold a dying Marie in her arms. I refused to dwell in those memories because those thoughts were detrimental to my health. So I did what any normal person would do, I stuffed them.

  “Damn, I straight-up lied,” I said, pounding the steering wheel, fighting back more tears. I had not spoken to Tyson since the day he’d left. The only way I knew about his new baby was through my mother, Althea. She could not wait to call me and spread that piece of news. She had left the message on my answering machine.

  I picked up my cell phone to call my date for the evening, no longer interested in getting sexed.

  “What’s up?” Jessie answered. He had the confident air of a man who still controlled me even though he had a wife at home.

  “Look, I can’t make it tonight.” I was praying he would not pitch a fit.

  “Bitch, I already paid your ass when you stopped by my shop to get money to help out your pathetic friend. You owe me, and you’re going to give it back tonight; in cash or trade!” he declared.

  “Jessie, I ain’t stiffing you this time. I had a real rough night at Leah’s, and I ain’t in the mood. If you come by in the morning, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” I pleaded.

  “Wrong, bitch. You’ll make it up to me tonight. I’ll be at your house in twenty minutes.” He slammed down the phone.

  I did not want to make him mad. Then he would want to do all the sadistic shit he could not do to his wife, like burn my nipples and bite my clit. I turned up the remainder of the bottle of Hennessey I’d taken over to Leah’s house and prayed to get pulled over for drunk driving.

  Reflecting, I didn’t learn anything from Marie’s death and the loss of my child, Kendall. I was still allowing men to control my life, and I felt helpless to do anything about it. I rarely took the trouble to actually analyze my motives, but the long drive back from Peachtree City to Atlanta gave me plenty of time to think.

  I turned up the radio so I could drown out my own thoughts, but it was useless. I should’ve kept my damn mouth shut about Jessie, I thought. I did not want to look in Leah’s face and see the same reproach I used to see in Marie’s face.

  Switching gears, I thought about all the stuff Leah had stored in her neighbor’s truck. I was going to call an old fuck buddy to see if he knew of a market for the tools. Knowing Jessie, he would want a cut and I would have to pay for it flat on my back. Not to mention the fact that Leah did not like or trust Jessie. Flipping open my phone, I thumbed through my address book for his number. I was dividing my attention between the road and my phone, and not doing a great job at it. I was fucked up, so I did not notice the cop who pulled up behind me until he flashed his bright blue lights.

  Be careful what you pray for, I thought, as I pulled the car over to the side of the road.

  “License and registration, please,” the officer said to me. He was a young black guy who looked like he was barely sixteen. I could not tell who was more nervous, him or me.

  “I’m sorry, Officer. I was trying to call a friend of mine and the wheel got away from me. I know I should’ve never been on the phone while driving, but I was lost and trying to get some directions,” I said, trying not to expel my hundred-proof breath in his direction.

  He waited while I rummaged through my glove compartment for my insurance and registration cards. My license was easier to get since it was the only thing I had in my purse other than lipstick and my cigarettes. I prayed the bottle of Hennessy I had stuffed under the seat would not roll out and show its long neck.

  Clearly out of his element, the cop left me sitting in the car and went to radio in my information. Thankfully, I had paid my insurance last week so I did not have to worry about that issue. For a change I had renewed my license on time. There was a time when I drove without either one of them, but today I was legal; at least on paper. He kept me waiting for a good twenty minutes before he came back with his ticket book.

  My mind played tricks on me while I waited. I imagined he was waiting for backup. Scared and in dire need to pee, tears flowed unchecked down my cheeks. My hands were shaking and my knees were locked as I finally took my license and registration back from him.

  “I’m writing you a citation for failure to maintain the lane. I suggest you take advantage of all the hands-free devices available. It may be inconvenient, but they do save lives,” he said, handing me the ticket for my signature.

  My drunk ass started to argue with him about barely crossing over the line, but I did not want him calling the cavalry and realizing that I was as drunk as a skunk.

  “Thank you, Officer. It won’t happen again,” I finally said, happy to escape with a ticket.

  “Are you trying to get to 285?” he asked me.

  I forgot that I had told him I was lost, so his question caught me off guard.

  “Yes, sir,” I mumbled, still trying to keep my breath from reaching his face. I was sucking on a mint that I had found in the ashtray of my car. It was real foul since it was covered with ashes, but beggars cannot be choosers.

  “Follow this road for approximately ten miles. You’ll see the exit signs. And stay off the phone,” he said, flipping his ticket book closed with a practiced perky snap and turning around to leave.

  “Thank you,” I said to his back. I felt one of my peeps, either Marie or Kendall, looking out for me, because the young cop had me dead to rights. What was even more sobering was the fact that I knew no one, other than Jessie, who could bail me out if I had been arrested. Yeah, Jessie would come, but he would make me pay for it for the rest of my life.

  Not wishing to further tempt fate, I pulled off at the next exit and got a motel room. The motel was directly across the street from a liquor store, so I went there and got something else to drink. The Hennessey was not going to last long. If Jessie still wanted to see me, then he was going to have to make the drive to where I was.

  I phoned him again as soon as I fixed myself a cocktail and took a shower. The brief encounter with the cop had me sweating like a sow.

  “Jessie, I know you’re going to be mad, but I got pulled over by the cops when I was driving home. I promised the cop I’d get a motel room for the rest of the night and he decided to give me a ticket.”

  “Sounds like a bunch of bullshit if you ask me,” Jessie snarled.

  “If you don’t believe me, come to me. I’m at the Holiday Inn Express on Route 216, room 116.”

  Jessie did not say anything for a moment. I could tell he was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth and I almost started laughing. I tried to mask my amusement by coughing loudly into the phone.

  “What’s the number to the hotel?” he asked quickly.

  “Wait, I’m sure it’s on my receipt,” I said, putting down the phone to get my purse.

  “Hurry up!” He yelled so loud it was as if the phone was still by my ear. I read him the number.

  “You probably looked the shit up in the phone book,” he sulked.

  “Lawd, Jessie. Give me a break. It would’ve taken a lot longer to look up the number,” I said with a sigh. He was messing up my buzz. “If you don’t believe me, call back and ask for room 116.”

  Jessie hung up the phone without another word. I raised my glass to my lips, fully expecting Jessie to call right back. When the call did not come, I began to get a bit more comfortable. Part of me wanted Jessie to come because I knew he would pay the hotel bill, but the part of me that would have to put out was pleased
as punch to have outfoxed him tonight.

  I sipped my cocktail while I channel-surfed. Before long, I was no longer watching TV. It was watching me. I was rattled from my sleep by the fierce ringing of the phone. Groggy and irritated at being rudely awakened, I snatched up the phone and barked a reply.

  “Hello!” I yelled, hoping to bust the caller’s eardrums.

  “Bitch, who are you hollering at?” Jessie yelled back.

  Humbled instantly, I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Someone’s been playing on the phone since I checked in. I wanted to ask the manager for a new room, but I didn’t want to miss you if you decided to come see me.” I was lying through my teeth.

  “Then open the motherfucking door.”

  Stunned, I could not move. Shit, I could not believe his dick led him halfway across the county to find me. This felt like a bad dream, and I wanted desperately to wake up.

  “Now, bitch,” he growled.

  I placed the phone on the bed, whipped back the covers, and snatched open the door, unmindful of the fact I was completely naked. The cool night air caused the hair on my arms and legs to stand up. I looked both left and right and Jessie was nowhere in sight. Rapid breaths exploded from between my clenched teeth. The cool night air, booze, and fear made me lightheaded. I slammed the door and went back to the phone. Jessie was laughing his ass off.

  “Ha, ha, ha,” I said, not seeing the humor in his sick joke.

  “Just checking to make sure you were alone.” He hung up the phone. I glanced at the clock, and I got pissed. It was after three in the morning.

  “He is one sick fuck!” I shouted to the walls and poured myself another drink. Taking a rather large sip, I shouted at the walls again. “And my name ain’t Bitch!”

  He rattled my nerves more than I cared to admit. Although Jessie was not as physically abusive as he was when we were married, he still scared me. He only came around me for sex, and he made sure he paid me each and every time. I was beginning to believe that since prison, he could not get it up unless he paid for it.

  Sex with Jessie was an adventure. He liked for me to strap on a dildo, and he wanted it up the ass. He even picked out the dildo himself. He also liked to be whipped and purchased a whip and handcuffs that he had left at my house. Heading for bed, I had to admit that I was not partial to the dildo thing, but I loved to whip his ass! I stopped midway between the bed and bathroom and decided to relieve myself while I was still standing.

  Misjudging my steps, I stumbled into the bathroom, narrowly missing the tub with my head. I lay on my back against the cold tile flooring, staring at the ceiling, lost in my booze-induced stupor.

  I’ll bet I can pee in that toilet from right here! Shoot, if I could twirl multiple pool balls in my twat and predict the order in which they’ll come out, surely I can pee in an arc. It’s only about five feet. Men do it all the time, and they don’t have nearly the muscle coordination that I have.

  I adjusted my position on the cold floor, aiming my twat at the toilet. I positioned my hole in the right direction and focused my alcohol-soaked brain on the task at hand.

  “If I do this, I could do it for the Guinness Book of World Records,” I said, laughing hysterically.

  “Concentrate,” I whispered and giggled again. I spread my pussy lips and bit down on my lower lip as I aimed at my target. I allowed my mind to become one with the pee and let it loose. Closing my eyes, I envisioned it rising in the air and disappearing in the bowl.

  What the hell was I thinking? Not only did I miss the toilet, I peed all over myself! If I did not have to clean the mess up, it might have been comical.

  “I’m going to have to practice that,” I mumbled as I pulled myself up to my knees, slipping in the process.

  “Whew, that was close,” I said, looking at the tub that loomed pretty close to my face as I dipped back down. Now that was funny. I turned around and backed my ass on the throne and rested my head on my knees.

  Laughter welled up from the bottom of my belly and spread through my throat and out of my mouth. I would never tell anyone what I had done. What seemed so reasonably sane a few minutes ago had become a knee-slapping joke. Good thing this isn’t my apartment, I thought, as I trudged back to the bed and fell in without even bothering to shower.

  LEAH

  I woke Kayla first because she would do most of the work herself while I got dressed. I had a full plate and wanted to get an early start. Malik was next and I left Mya for last since she was the hardest part of my day. As usual, she was not happy about being disturbed, and she fought me all the way. Every time I put one leg in her pants, she would pull it back out.

  “Stop,” I warned her, smacking at her kicking legs. I knew my actions would be reported to DEFACS if someone other than family witnessed them, but I felt like there was nothing else I could do. It both pained me and satisfied me to give her a taste of what she gave me. I wished that someone could take a walk in my shoes to see what I had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. For some reason, she hated to be naked more than she hated being awakened. It was okay that she kept me up half the night with her tantrums, but let me wake her up and she wanted to act a fool.

  “Mya, I love you, honey, but sometimes you make me want to smother you,” I said to her as I cuddled her in my arms when she finally calmed down. Today’s outburst was relatively mild compared to some of the other mornings we had been through. Dressing Mya was no joke, and I wanted to curl up and get right back in bed after having completed the task.

  The second hardest thing was feeding Mya. None of them were picky eaters, but Mya would not eat anything with a sharp corner. I had to cut her food in circles for her to eat it. I purchased a special circle cookie cutter expressly for her. God forbid me giving her a piece of bread without the crust taken off. She would toss the whole thing to the floor and commence screaming.

  Mya always seemed to know when I was in a rush, but I finally got her fed. I wished she would cut the tantrums out altogether so we both could start our day off on a pleasant note.

  After clearing up the breakfast dishes, I phoned Momma to see if she was still going to watch the kids while I made my runs.

  “Hey, Momma,” I said when she picked up the phone.

  “Hey, Baby,” she replied. Mya chose that moment to exercise her lungs.

  “Hush, Mya!” I yelled, frustrated all over again.

  “Has she been like that all morning?” Momma asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

  “Not really. We fought getting dressed, but she calmed down. She hates it when I get on the phone,” I replied.

  “That could be it. She requires a lot of attention.”

  “Who are you telling? I give her all of my attention. I can’t have a moment to myself; not even to go take a dump. I have to jump up and see what she’s gotten herself into. I’m so tired, Momma,” I complained, briefly feeling sorry for myself, but then I remembered the good news.

  “You pushed me out so fast yesterday, I didn’t even tell you my news! I got a job, and I start on Monday!” I exclaimed, getting excited all over again.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! I was tired, but not that tired! Where’s this job?”

  “I know, Momma, I couldn’t really believe it myself, so I wanted to savor it. It’s a law firm in downtown Peachtree City, and the best part about it is they pay for child care expenses. I need to go over there today and check it out and stuff. I really lucked up; finding something so close to home.”

  “I could lay you over my knee and spank your behind for keeping this good stuff away from me. Honey, I’m so happy for you!”

  “The other thing I need to do is go look at some of the houses they told me about yesterday that are available under something called HUD. It’s based on my income, and I was told that because I have three children, the rent would be real cheap.”

  “When are you bringing them over?” Momma asked, sounding as excited as I felt.
/>   “When you tell me I can. I wanted to get an early start because I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”

  “Bring them now. Have they eaten?”

  “Yes. Do you want me to bring lunches?” I asked, hoping she would say no since I had not been to the grocery store.

  “No, I have something they can eat. Do me a favor. Take a little of your seed money and get your hair and nails done. You need to do something for yourself!”

  Prickly tears poked out of the corner of my eyes. “What did I ever do to deserve a mother like you? I love you, Momma!”

  “I love you, too, baby girl!”

  “And before you know it, I’m gonna stop all this crying. It ain’t me and I hate it but I’m not there yet.”

  I hung up the phone and got the kids loaded up in the car. Running back in the house, I set the alarm, then hurried back to the car. Setting the alarm used to give me some measure of comfort, but since I didn’t have enough money to pay the bill, it was a big farce since no one was monitoring the alarm.

  I drove the seven miles to my mother’s house and dropped the kids off. As usual, Mya had a hissy fit about my leaving her, but I did not have a choice. My first stop was the day care facility. I sat outside and watched to see who was going in and their demeanor. I saw both black and white parents entering the center and, for the most part, the kids behaved like they wanted to be there. That was very important to me. I waited until the last parent had exited the building before going inside. I stopped at the registration desk.

  “Hi, may I help you?” the lady sitting at the desk asked me. She had this huge smile on her face that appeared genuine. Another good point, I thought. If she had greeted me with a fake smile I would have turned around and left. A day care worker had to love children or nobody was going to be happy. Not the children and certainly not the parents!

  “Hi, my name is Leah Simmons, and I’m going to be working at Blank, Rome and Carpenter. I have three children, one age five, going on six, and my twins are two. I’ll be needing day care services.”