Tish: The Chronicle of Her Escapades and Excursions Read online

  V

  Charlie Sands announced at dinner that he intended to spend the night atthe track.

  Tish put down her fork and looked at him. "Why?" she demanded.

  "I'm going to help the boy next door watch his car," he said calmly."Nothing against your friend Mr. Ellis, Aunt Tish, but some enemy oftrue sport might take a notion in the night to slip a dope pill intothe mouth of friend Jasper's car and have her go to sleep on the trackto-morrow."

  We spent a quiet evening. Mr. Ellis was busy, of course, and so wasJasper. The boy came to the house to get Charlie Sands and, I suppose,for a word with Bettina, for when he saw us all on the porch he looked,as you may say, thwarted.

  When Charlie Sands had gone up for his pajamas and dressing-gown, Jasperstood looking up at us.

  "Oh, Association of Chaperons!" he said, "is it permitted that my ladywalk to the gate with me--alone?"

  "I am not your lady," flashed Bettina.

  "You've nothing to say about that," he said recklessly. "I've selectedyou; you can't help it. I haven't claimed that you have selected me."

  "Anyhow, I don't wish to go to the gate," said Bettina.

  He went rather white at that, and Charlie Sands coming down at thatmoment with a pair of red-and-white pajamas under his arm and atoothbrush sticking out of his breast pocket, romance, as Jasper saidlater in referring to it, "was buried in Sands."

  Jasper went up to Bettina and held out his hand. "You'll wish me luck,won't you?"

  "Of course." She took his hand. "But I think you're a bit of a coward,Jasper!"

  He eyed her. "Coward!" he said. "I'm the bravest man you know. I'm doinga thing I'm scared to death to do!"

  * * * * *

  The race was to begin at two o'clock in the afternoon. There were smallraces to be run first, but the real event was due at three.

  From early in the morning a procession of cars from out of town pouredin past Eliza Bailey's front porch, and by noon her cretonne cushionswere thick with dust. And not only automobiles came, but hay-wagons,side-bar buggies, delivery carts--anything and everything that couldtransport the crowd.

  At noon Mr. Ellis telephoned Tish that the grand-stand was sold out andthat almost all the parking-places that had been reserved were taken.Charlie Sands came home to luncheon with a curious smile on his face.

  "How are you betting, Aunt Tish?" he asked.

  "Betting!"

  "Yes. Has Ellis let you in on the betting?"

  "I don't know what you are talking about," Tish said sourly. "Mr. Elliscontrols the betting so that it may be done in an orderly manner. I amsure I have nothing to do with it."

  "I'd like to bet a little, Charlie," Aggie put in with an eye on Tish."I'd put all I win on the collection plate on Sunday."

  "Very well." Charlie Sands took out his notebook. "On what car and howmuch?"

  "Ten dollars on the Fein. It made the best time at the trial heats."

  "I wouldn't if I were you," said Charlie Sands. "Suppose we put it onour young friend next door."

  Bettina rather sniffed. "On Jasper!" she exclaimed.

  "On Jasper," said Charlie Sands gravely.

  Tish, who had hardly heard us, looked up from her plate.

  "Bettina is betting," she snapped. "Putting it on the collection platedoesn't help any." But with that she caught Charlie Sands' eye and hewinked at her. Tish colored. "Gambling is one thing, clean sport isanother," she said hotly.

  I believe, however, that whatever Charlie Sands may have suspected, hereally knew nothing until the race had started. By that time it was toolate to prevent it, and the only way he could think of to avoid gettingTish involved in a scandal was to let it go on.

  We went to the track in Tish's car and parked in the oval. Not near thegrandstand, however. Tish had picked out for herself a curve at one endof the track which Mr. Ellis had said was the worst bit on the course."He says," said Tish, as we put the top down and got out the vacuumbottle--oh, yes, Mr. Ellis had sent Tish one as a present--"that ifthere are any smashups they'll occur here."

  Aggie is not a bloodthirsty woman ordinarily, but her face quite lit up.

  "Not really!" she said.

  "They'll probably turn turtle," said Tish. "There is never a racewithout a fatality or two. No racer can get any life insurance. Mr.Ellis says four men were killed at the last race he promoted."

  "Then I think Mr. Ellis is a murderer," Bettina cried. We all looked ather. She was limp and white and was leaning back among the cushions withher eyes shut. "Why didn't you tell Jasper about this curve?" shedemanded of Tish.

  But at that moment a pistol shot rang out and the races were on.

  The Fein won two of the three small races. Jasper was entered only forthe big race. In the interval before the race was on, Jasper went roundthe track slowly, looking for Bettina. When he saw us he waved, but didnot stop. He was number thirteen.

  I shall not describe the race. After the first round or two, what withdust in my eyes and my neck aching from turning my head so rapidly, Ijust sat back and let them spin in front of me.

  It was after a dozen laps or so, with number thirteen doing as well asany of them, that Tish was arrested.

  Charlie Sands came up beside the car with a gentleman named Atkins, whoturned out to be a county detective. Charlie Sands was looking stern andsevere, but the detective was rather apologetic.

  "This is Miss Carberry," said Charlie Sands. "Aunt Tish, this gentlemanwishes to speak to you."

  "Come around after the race," Tish observed calmly.

  "Miss Carberry," said the detective gently, "I believe you are back ofthis race, aren't you?"

  "What if I am?" demanded Tish.

  Charlie Sands put a hand on the detective's arm. "It's like this, AuntTish," he said; "you are accused of practicing a short-change game,that's all. This race is sewed up. You employ those racing-cars withdrivers at an average of fifty dollars a week. They are hardly worth it,Aunt Tish. I could have got you a better string for twenty-five."

  Tish opened her mouth and shut it again without speaking.

  "You also control the betting privileges. As you own all the racers youhave probably known for a couple of weeks who will win the race. Havingmade the Fein favorite, you can bet on a Brand or a Bonor, or whateverone you chance to like, and win out. Only I take it rather hard of you,Aunt Tish, not to have let the family in. I'm hard up as the dickens."

  "Charlie Sands!" said Tish impressively. "If you are joking--"

  "Joking! Did you ever know a county detective to arrest a prominentwoman at a race-track as a little jest between friends? There's no joke,Aunt Tish. You've financed a phony race. The permit is taken in yourname--L.L. Carberry. Whatever car wins, you and Ellis take the prizemoney, half the gate receipts, and what you have made out of thebetting--"

  Tish rose in the machine and held out both her hands to Mr. Atkins.

  "Officer, perform your duty," she said solemnly. "Ignorance is nodefense and I know it. Where are the handcuffs?"

  "We'll not bother about them, Miss Carberry", he said. "If you like I'llget into the car and you can tell me all about it while we watch therace. Which car is to win?"

  "I may have been a fool, Mr. County Detective," she said coldly; "butI'm not a knave. I have not bet a dollar on the race."

  We were very silent for a time. The detective seemed to enjoy the racevery much and ate peanuts out of his pocket. He even bought ared-and-black pennant, with "Morris Valley Races" on it, and fastened itto the car. Charlie Sands, however, sat with his arms folded, stiff andsevere.

  Once Tish bent forward and touched his arm.

  "You--you don't think it will get in the papers, do you?" she quavered.

  Charlie Sands looked at her with gloom. "I shall have to send it myself,Aunt Tish," he said; "it is my duty to my paper. Even my family pride,hurt to the quick and quivering as it is, must not interfere with myduty."

  It was Bettina who suggested a way out--Bettina, who had s
at back aspale as Tish and heard that her Mr. Ellis was, as Charlie Sands saidlater, as crooked as a pretzel.

  "But Jasper was not--not subsidized," she said. "If he wins, it's allright, isn't it?"

  The county detective turned to her.

  "Jasper?" he said.

  "A young man who lives here." Bettina colored.

  "He is--not to be suspected?"

  "Certainly not," said Bettina haughtily; "he is above suspicion.Besides, he--he and Mr. Ellis are not friends."

  Well, the county detective was no fool. He saw the situation thatminute, and smiled when he offered Bettina a peanut. "Of course," hesaid cheerfully, "if the race is won by a Morris Valley man, and not byone of the Ellis cars, I don't suppose the district attorney would careto do anything about it. In fact," he said, smiling at Bettina, "I don'tknow that I'd put it up to the district attorney at all. A warning toEllis would get him out of the State."

  It was just at that moment that car number thirteen, coming round thecurve, skidded into the field, threw out both Jasper McCutcheon and hismechanician, and after standing on two wheels for an appreciable momentof time, righted herself, panting, with her nose against a post.

  Jasper sat up almost immediately and caught at his shoulder. Themechanician was stunned. He got up, took a step or two and fell down,weak with fright.

  I do not recall very distinctly what happened next. We got out of themachine, I remember, and Bettina was cutting off Jasper's sweater withCharlie Sands' penknife, and crying as she did it. And Charlie Sands wastrying to prevent Jasper from getting back into his car, while Jasperwas protesting that he could win in two or more laps and that he coulddrive with one hand--he'd only broken his arm.

  The crowd had gathered round us, thick. Suddenly they drew back, andin a sort of haze I saw Tish in Jasper's car, with Aggie, as white asdeath, holding to Tish's sleeve and begging her not to get in. The nextmoment Tish let in the clutch of the racer and Aggie took a sort offlying leap and landed beside her in the mechanician's seat.

  Charlie Sands saw it when I did, but we were both too late. Tish wascrossing the ditch into the track again, and the moment she struck levelground she put up the gasoline.

  It was just then that Aggie fell out, landing, as I have said before, ina pile of sand. Tish said afterward that she never missed her. She hadjust discovered that this was not Jasper's old car, which she knewsomething about, but a new racer with the old hood and seat put on inorder to fool Mr. Ellis. She didn't know a thing about it.

  Well, you know the rest--how Tish, trying to find how the gears worked,side-swiped the Bonor car and threw it off the field and out of therace; how, with the grandstand going crazy, she skidded off the trackinto the field, turned completely round twice, and found herself on thetrack again facing the way she wanted to go; how, at the last lap, shethrew a tire and, without cutting down her speed, bumped home thewinner, with the end of her tongue nearly bitten off and her spinefairly driven up into her skull.

  Without cutting down her speed, bumped home the winner]

  All this is well known now, as is also the fact that Mr. Ellisdisappeared from the judges' stand after a word or two with Mr. Atkins,and was never seen at Morris Valley again.

  Tish came out of the race ahead by half the gate money--six thousanddollars--by a thousand dollars from concessions, and a lame back thatshe kept all winter. Even deducting the twenty-five hundred she had putup, she was forty-five hundred dollars ahead, not counting the prizemoney. Charlie Sand brought the money from the track that night, afterhaving paid off Mr. Ellis's racing-string and given Mr. Atkins a smallpresent. He took over the prize money to Jasper and came back with it,Jasper maintaining that it belonged to Tish, and that he had only racedfor the honor of Morris Valley. For some time the money went begging,but it settled itself naturally enough, Tish giving it to Jasper in theevent of--but that came later.

  On the following evening--Bettina, in the pursuit of learning to cook,having baked a chocolate cake--we saw Jasper, with his arm in a sling,crossing the side lawn.

  Jasper stopped at the foot of the steps. "I see a chocolate cake coolingon the kitchen porch," he said. "Did you order it, Miss Lizzie?"

  I shook my head.

  "Miss Tish? Miss Aggie?"

  "I ordered it," said Bettina defiantly--"or rather I baked it."

  "And you did that, knowing what it entailed? He was coming up the stepsslowly and with care.

  "What does it entail?" demanded Bettina.

  "Me."

  "Oh, that!" said Bettina. "I knew that."

  Jasper threw his head back and laughed. Then:--

  "Will the Associated Chaperons," he said, "turn their backs?"

  "Not at all," I began stiffly. "If I--"

  "She baked it herself!" said Jasper exultantly. "One--two. When I saythree I shall kiss Bettina."

  And I have every reason to believe he carried out his threat.

  * * * * *

  Eliza Bailey forwarded me this letter from London where Bettina had sentit to her:--

  _Dearest Mother_: I hope you are coming home soon. I really think you should. Aunt Lizzie is here and she brought two friends, and, mother, I feel so responsible for them! Aunt Lizzie is sane enough, if somewhat cranky; but Miss Tish is almost more than I can manage--I never know what she is going to do next--and I am worn out with chaperoning her. And Miss Aggie, although she is very sweet, is always smoking cubeb cigarettes for hay fever, and it looks terrible! The neighbors do not know they are cubeb, and, anyhow, that's a habit, mother. And yesterday Miss Tish was arrested, and ran a motor race and won it, and to-day she is knitting a stocking and reciting the Twenty-third Psalm. Please, mother, I think you should come home.

  Lovingly, BETTINA.

  P.S. I think I shall marry Jasper after all. He says he likes the Presbyterian service.

  I looked up from reading Eliza's letter. Tish was knitting quietly andplanning to give the money back to the town in the shape of a library,and Aggie was holding a cubeb cigarette to her nose. Down on the tenniscourt Jasper and Bettina were idly batting a ball round.

  "I'm glad the Ellis man did not get her," said Aggie. And then, after asneeze, "How Jasper reminds me of Mr. Wiggins."

  The library did not get the money after all. Tish sent it, as a weddingpresent, to Bettina.