Don't Give A Dwarf (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 2) Read online

  Don’t Give A Dwarf

  Dwarf Bounty Hunter™ Book Two

  Martha Carr

  Michael Anderle

  This book is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Sometimes both.

  Copyright © LMBPN Publishing

  Cover Art by Jake @ J Caleb Design

  http://jcalebdesign.com / [email protected]

  Cover copyright © LMBPN Publishing

  A Michael Anderle Production

  LMBPN Publishing supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  LMBPN Publishing

  PMB 196, 2540 South Maryland Pkwy

  Las Vegas, NV 89109

  First Edition November 2020

  ebook ISBN: 978-1-64971-289-9

  Paperback ISBN: 978-1-64971-290-5

  The Oriceran Universe (and what happens within / characters / situations / worlds) are Copyright (c) 2017-2020 by Martha Carr and LMBPN Publishing.

  Contents

  The Don’t Give a Dwarf Team

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Free Books

  Author Notes - Martha Carr

  Author Notes - Michael Anderle

  Connect with The Authors

  Also by Martha Carr

  Other LMBPN Publishing Books

  The Don’t Give a Dwarf Team

  Thanks to our JIT Team:

  Jackey Hankard-Brodie

  Diane L. Smith

  Deb Mader

  Jeff Goode

  Dave Hicks

  James Caplan

  Dorothy Lloyd

  Larry Omans

  Paul Westman

  If I’ve missed anyone, please let me know!

  Editor

  SkyHunter Editing Team

  Chapter One

  “Oh, man. This is amazing!” Amanda Coulier crouched in the bow of the flat-bottom airboat as it skimmed through the Everglades and she uttered a whoop of excitement.

  Johnny Walker stood in front of the boat’s massive propeller at the stern, his hand on the throttle control stick as he steered the craft around the fallen logs and clumps of reeds in the swamp. “The point of huntin’ is to keep quiet, kid.”

  “Keep quiet?” The twelve-year-old laughed. “Are you kidding me? I’d be able to hear this boat from five, maybe even eight miles away.”

  On either side of the girl, Johnny’s coonhounds Rex and Luther leaned into the wind. Their tails wagged furiously as their ears flapped along with their jowls.

  Luther barked. “Because she’s a shifter, Johnny.”

  “Yeah, shifters have that kinda hearing.” Rex cocked his head at Amanda, who grinned at him and leaned forward over the bow so her face protruded farther over the surface of the water than the dogs’ did.

  The dwarf grunted. “Shifter or no, this ain’t a pleasure cruise.”

  I can’t believe I didn’t think about hounds and shifters makin’ friends when I made those collars.

  “You could’ve fooled me.” Amanda glanced over her shoulder at him, and her enthusiastic grin only widened.

  He snorted and looked away into the thick growth of trees, but not before she caught his smirk. She turned again and crouched so low at the front of the airboat that her fingers touched the hull in front of her. She didn’t seem bothered in the least by the mixture of salt and freshwater that sprayed into her face.

  “All right, now.” Johnny reduced the throttle, and the airboat’s fan kicked down a few notches before it slowed to half its previous speed. “Y’all keep an eye out for any giant creatures that don’t belong here. Or purple goo.”

  “Purple goo?” Amanda brushed her damp hair out of her eyes but didn’t have to turn to shout for him to hear her now. “You said we were out here looking for that ʼgator. The big one.”

  He scoffed. “Big one? Kid, a fifteen-foot ʼgator ain’t simply ‘a big one.’ That kinda game’s a massive win, ya hear? Gonna make us enough jerky to last the rest of the boys’ lifetime. Maybe we’ll have a cookout.”

  “Johnny, you don’t bring more than three people over at a time.” Rex lowered his snout toward the water, sneezed at the salty spray, and shook his head vigorously.

  “And that only happened once,” Luther added. His claws scrabbled along the flat deck as he darted from port to starboard and sniffed at the swamp. He returned to his former place on the other side of Amanda and sat, and his tail thumped against the metal like a drum. “Not including us, Johnny.”

  “We’re not people,” Rex added.

  The girl laughed and scratched the end of the larger hound’s rump. “Tell him that.”

  “Ooh, Johnny. She’s good.”

  “Yeah, we’re good. Good people, Johnny. You hear that?”

  “Girl, don’t go puttin’ that kinda thinkin’ in their heads.” The dwarf scratched his nose, hooked his free thumb through a belt loop, and tried to look stern. “Their brains can only hold so much as it is.”

  “Aw, you’re pullin’ our tails, Johnny.” Rex sidled closer to her.

  Luther sniffed her water-splashed shoulder and licked the slightly salty wetness from her cheek. “We all know you don’t mean it.”

  “Including the part about having a cookout.” Amanda scratched both hounds behind the ears. “That’s like a barbeque, right?”

  “Hold on now.” Johnny reminded himself to not cut off the throttle completely and let the boat coast to a stop in the middle of nowhere. “Don’t go confusin’ cookouts for barbeques, kid. Ain’t the same thing.”

  “Okay…” With a confused laugh, she brushed it aside. “Either way, I can’t see you with a group of people in your front drive sitting around, eating, and drinking and having a good time.”

  “Naw. Folks’d come if I spread the word.”

  “I don’t mean they wouldn’t have a good time.” She smirked at him over her shoulder. “Only that you wouldn’t.”

  “Uh-huh.” He eased into slow speed and steered them away from a giant tree hanging over the water in their path and the airboat’s massive fan turned slowly to redirect them. She sure thinks she has me all figured out, don’t she?

  Luther barked again and his high-pitched laughter filled the dwarf’s mind. “Man, Johnny. She’s got you pinned down and tied up, huh?”

  Panting, Rex searched the surface of the water breaking gently at t
he bow. His ears flopped from side to side against his face as his head whipped enthusiastically. “Watch out, Johnny. Next, she’ll start guttin’ you. All your hopes and dreams spillin’ out right there where everyone can see—”

  “Enough with the metaphors, boys.” He snapped his fingers, and even above the loud whir of the airboat’s propellers, the hounds heard it and sat instantly on their haunches. Luther uttered a low whine and licked his muzzle, but that was it.

  And now the hounds are in on it too. Great.

  Amanda fought back a smirk as she returned to stroking the animals’ backs. “You probably only want a pair of alligator-skin boots to go with your dry sense of humor.”

  The dogs thrust their heads into the air and howled—both literally and with laughter only Johnny and Amanda could hear.

  The dwarf snorted a laugh and shook his head as he scanned the thick underbrush and pretended to be unamused. Damn, kid.

  “I don’t make boots outta big game like a fifteen-footer. Naw, I’m fixin’ to have that beautiful bastard stuffed and mounted. Then Harold’s movin’ out.”

  “Oh, so you do name the trophies in your house.” She forced a laugh back.

  He cleared his throat. “Occasionally.”

  “You should stop trying so hard to keep secrets. I heard holding secrets in is as unhealthy as holding a fart in.”

  Rex and Luther laughed again and their tails thumped arrhythmically on the hull.

  “Oh, yeah?” he asked with a smirk. “What brilliant philosopher o’ bodily functions gave you that golden nugget?”

  “My—” She grimaced and her smile faded instantly before she looked out over the swamp as they cruised across it. “Doesn’t matter.”

  Shit. And there it is. Johnny sniffed and ran his free hand over his mouth, chin, and wiry red beard. He forced himself to not look at the kid. I’d bet my truck she was about to say her sister or one of her folks.

  “Hey, hey. Come on, pup.” Luther whined and licked the girl’s face. “Don’t think about it.”

  “Yeah, like me and Luther. That’s what we do. Don’t like thinkin’ about somethin’, sniff around and the good stuff’ll catch your attention sooner or—” Rex whipped his head up and leaned toward the starboard side to sniff the air furiously. “Rabbit?”

  “Big, big rabbit.” Luther ran behind Amanda to join his brother at the side of the airboat and sniffed wildly too. “Three of ʼem.”

  “Or y’all could focus on findin’ the scent we’re lookin’ for. The ʼgator.” The dwarf snapped his fingers and both hounds immediately returned to the bow to sit on either side of the girl again.

  “Right, right, right.” Luther’s head whipped from side to side as he scanned the swamp and sniffed like coonhounds did on the trail.

  Rex panted, stared directly ahead, and blinked occasionally when water splashed into his face.

  Amanda wiped the mist of water on her cheek—or maybe tears, Johnny thought, although it was hard to tell—and gazed with narrowed eyes at the thick stand of trees they passed. “If we’re hunting an alligator, why’d you tell us to look out for a monster with purple goo?”

  He shrugged. “It’s always a good idea to check your front door first before steppin’ out of it to go after somebody.” And to make sure the kid I took under my wing isn’t more messed-up in the head than she lets on. A young’un her age can’t go through everything she’s been through and be perfectly fine after like nothin’ ever happened. Right?

  She turned her head slowly and raised an eyebrow. “You honestly think there’s a monster in the swamp?”

  “There are all kindsa monsters in the swamp, kid. It merely depends on what kind you’re lookin’ for.”

  With a shrug, the girl turned toward the front of the boat and leaned forward again between the hounds.

  Good. She’s deflecting. It always works for me. She’ll be fine.

  “Ooh! Hey, pup.” Luther turned toward the girl so quickly that his snout caught her shoulder and he snorted.

  “Woah.” She chuckled. “Someone’s excited.”

  “That would be all of us,” Rex agreed. “We’re on the boat. Johnny took us on the freakin’ boat.”

  “Yeah, but I was gonna—”

  “It was more fun when we were goin’ faster,” the hound interrupted.

  Luther inclined his head and completely forgot what he was about to say. Instead, he barked with excitement. “Yeah! Faster! Hey, Johnny. Make us go.”

  “No.”

  “Come on, Johnny. You know how many scents you can pick up when you’re speedin’ like that?”

  “Of course he doesn’t. We’re the hounds.” Rex panted and his tongue lolled from his open mouth.

  “Lots and lots of scents, Johnny.” Luther stood and spun in a tight circle. He made Amanda laugh when his tail whipped against the back of her head and dragged her damp hair across her face. “Let’s go. Pick it up. Faster!”

  “It is way more fun,” she added to their pleas. “And there was less talking. I like more speed and less talking.”

  Aw, now she’s tryin’ to play to my soft spots.

  Johnny grunted and jerked his chin at the hounds. “We slowed for a reason. And you know what? You boys ain’t said a thing about where that ʼgator went to for at least ten minutes.”

  “Oh. Yeah.” Luther craned his neck to look at his master and panted. “That’s ʼcause we lost it.”

  “The scent, Johnny.” Rex chuckled and lowered his head to sniff a tangle of waterlogged reeds that splashed up against the hull. “We lost the scent.”

  “You lost it.” The dwarf stared at his hounds before he released a growled sigh and ran a hand through his dark-auburn hair. “It’s like y’all’ve never been in a damn boat before.”

  “Not with her.”

  “The pup gets top priority, Johnny.” Rex’s tail thumped twice on the boat, then stilled. “That’s what you said.”

  “Not when we’re out lookin’ for the—” Johnny darted an exasperated glance at the draping mangrove branches overhead and reduced the throttle until the fan slowed to a low hum. The airboat lost speed rapidly and its already small wake diminished across the swamp behind them.

  This was supposed to be a done deal. Grab that fifteen-footer, show the kid what good clean fun looks like, and make sure she ain’t broken and simply real good at hidin’ it.

  He shook his head at the hounds and gestured toward the swamp around them. “Well, go on, then. Better get to findin’ it.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Find it.” Luther headed portside while Rex went starboard and both dogs thrust their snouts in the air and sniffed madly. They crossed from one side of the craft to the other while their heads raised and lowered as if to smell from all angles. Amanda was whacked occasionally on the back of her head by a wayward tail before she finally scooted forward to the tip of the bow.

  Johnny watched his hounds with a raised eyebrow while he turned the throttle control stick slowly when necessary to avoid the swamp’s ever-present obstacles. They approached a branch of smaller tributaries, although they weren’t so small that he couldn’t maneuver his airboat through them. But I gotta know which way to turn the damn thing.

  When a glance at his new watch—an all-black field watch to avoid having to give up another timepiece in a future Willen trade—told him the five-minute mark had passed, he cleared his throat.

  “Y’all forget what you were doin’?”

  “No way, Johnny.” Rex glanced at his master, then crossed the boat again, his nose still sniffing industriously. “We’re on it.”

  “Yeah. Lookin’ for the…for the…shit. Rex, what were we lookin’ for?”

  Rex snorted and stared at his brother. Luther sat immediately, panting, and his tail thumped on the deck.

  Johnny rolled his eyes. “And this was turnin’ out to be a damn fine day. All right. We’re turnin’ around.”

  “No, Johnny. No… Come on.” Luther padded toward his master, saw the look in the dwarf�
��s eyes, and backed away two steps before he sat. “The boat’s the best.”

  “Yeah, it’s the best.” Rex continued to scent the air. “We’ll find the ʼgator, Johnny.”

  “The ʼgator!” Luther barked and spun and his paws slid across the slick deck in his enthusiasm. “We’ll get him. Sink my teeth into him, too. I will, Johnny. Just—”

  “No, you won’t.” His brother lowered his head over the side of the boat to sniff the water. “You barely made a dent in that turtle, remember?”

  “Yeah, but a ʼgator—”

  “Wait.” Amanda raised her hand and leaned forward until Johnny thought she’d fall face-first over the bow. She sniffed a few more times before she moved her raised hand to the right and she pointed. “It went that way.”

  He stared at her in surprise and ignored the way his hounds whipped their heads toward him to give him eager glances. “You sure, kid?”

  She sat back on her heels and turned to raise her eyebrows at him. “Did you give yourself a canine’s sense of smell too when you made those talking-to-your-dogs collars?”

  “No.” He sniffed a little sheepishly.

  “Then yeah, I’m sure.”

  “She said she’s sure, Johnny.” Luther’s head snapped upward and his gaze followed a flock of ducks overhead. “Probably means she’s sure.”