Emotions Series 03 Forgotten Emotions Read online

  FORGOTTEN EMOTIONS

  by

  Marleena([email protected])

  PJinNH([email protected])

  rated NC-17

  (P/T, H/f)

  The 'Emotions Series' is comprised of the following stories in this order:

  Silent Emotions

  Basic Emotions

  Forgotten Emotions

  SUMMARY: Tom is kidnapped and drugged causing him to forget his past, including B'Elanna and his sons.

  DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters. We've only borrowed the characters to satisfy our own creative urges. Alera Lerise and a few assorted other minor characters though are ours and ours alone (that is unless someone else wants to borrow them and give us credit). Archiving is okay, just e-mail us. Please keep disclaimer and our names attached.

  RECOGNITION OF APPRECIATION: A very special thanks goes out to our beta reader Phyllis J. Sutherland for beta reading our text and to Donna Thelen who had so graciously allowed us to use her chat page while writing this story.

  Forgotten Emotions

  10/98

  Chapter 1

  Quietly, he picked up the pillow and unfolded the blanket that had been placed on the chair beside the bed. The tall man, as was customary, laid down on the floor to sleep for the night beside the bed--an honored position for he was her favorite and she was much envied by the other ladies of the palace. She was very fond and possessive of him for he was unique amongst the other servants in the kingdom.

  And the Lady, apparently satisfied from their coupling, slept contentedly in the bed above. Settling down for the night, he winced as his back came in contact with the hard floor. The lacerations he had received from lashes three days ago were still sore.

  He thought back to that time, through the fog that seemed to always permeate his brain. He had rounded a corner in the palace on an errand for his Lady and had not averted his eyes and dropped to one knee quick enough when he had been unexpectedly confronted with the Lady's sister. The punishment had been swift, he was immediately returned to the Training Area and received the appropriate punishment--15 strokes with the laser whip on his bare back. Next time he would be more careful he vowed, as the once bright eyes closed for the night. Trying to sleep, memories of the previous day invaded his mind.

  *Fetch my meal.*

  **At once, M'Lady.**

  *Draw my bath.*

  **Yes, M'Lady.**

  *Pleasure me, slave.*

  **Of course, M'Lady.**

  Each command that he had received during the day replayed through his brain again that night, and his day had been full of commands. Each had been promptly obeyed, and the Lady was pleased. And he was pleased. Wasn't he? He couldn't remember. They told him he was.

  And he slept.

  In the morning, just before he rose, vague memories would surface until he received the morning injection. The drug that was injected into his system would obliterate the disturbing thoughts leaving behind only the most recent memories.

  He could recall that they had trained him well those many weeks ago. Of the initial training though he could remember little. He still had the scars on his back from the laser whip to remind himself that he had been trained and apparently had not been a willing student. But the instructors had been persistent and persuasive and had achieved their goal--an obedient servant for their Lady, willing to perform any task without question.

  The laser whip though hadn't been the only method of persuasion. He could recall, in the wee hours of the morning, that drugs had been painfully and frequently injected into the back of his neck during the training. Daily, he still received those same injections. He was told it was for his own good, but even through the fog he questioned how something could be for his own good if it hurt so much.

  Occasionally, though just before he was injected with the drug, images of a dark haired, beautiful, exotic looking woman with two small children--boys? For some reason he knew they were boys-- would invade his mind.

  Those same fleeting images invaded his mind just before he faced the overseer, Krent, the next morning. Krent, as usual, held a large syringe which contained a purple colored fluid. As he was taught, he obediently turned his back to the overseer and Krent grabbed the edge of his tunic at the nape of the neck, pulled it down, and without thought as to the man's comfort, brutally injected the entire contents of the syringe into the tender flesh.

  Unmoved by the man's screams, he pushed him away and prepared a new dose for the next servant that had just entered through the door.

  As the burning pain caused by the drug subsided, the world once again changed from a misted veil to a complete opaque fog. A fog that he would live in unemotionally during the day, prepared to serve his Mistress, the Lady.

  Chapter 2

  The away mission started out like most away missions. A delegation from Voyager beamed down to the surface of the planet, Drayen, and met it's leaders to discuss trade for food or energy. Today started out that way. Nothing unusual. Talks proceed, agreements were reached. Everything according to plan. Everything but . . .

  Two very tall aliens with grey-colored skin, not natives to the planet watched the new aliens. They were from a place called 'Voyager,' they had overheard. They observed them very carefully.

  First there was their leader, they called her a 'captain' she was a woman with medium colored hair, neither light nor dark. She did almost all the talking for the group but when the others spoke she listened patiently, obviously very interested in what was being said. Then there was the man who stood next to her most of the time. He had very dark hair and darker skin than the captain woman and he had some type of writing or marking on his face. Perhaps he had some type of illness the two aliens concluded.

  Another woman was part of their group, she was shorter than the rest. She had dark hair that fell almost to her shoulders and her face too was unique, with ridges and ripples on the forehead. But the one alien that they were most interested in was her companion. He had hair the color of grain of the fields and blue eyes like a clear sky. *How unique. How different. How much could we get for him?* they pondered thinking of the ways they could spend their money.

  * * * * * * *

  "Come on, B'Elanna, let's go to the market before we have to beam back. I'm sure that we could find something that Kyle and Lucas would like," Tom pleaded with his wife.

  "But Tom, the meeting . . ."

  "It's almost over. When it breaks up, I'll speak with the Captain and I'm sure she'll say yes. We could be back on Voyager in twenty minutes thirty tops."

  "You're whining again husband," she warned, her eyes glinting with unrestrained glee.

  "Come on, 'Lanna, it will be fun," he replied with puppy-dog eyes.

  She rolled her eyes and looked up at the father of her children and her husband. She never could resist that expression and he knew it. "Oh all right, but YOU have to talk to the Captain. Don't you go trying to push this off on me."

  * * * * * *

  A short while later, the pair were walking hand-in-hand towards the city's marketplace. Unbeknownst to them, the two aliens followed at a discreet distance.

  "Don't let him out of your sight, Zeten," Enskew warned the taller alien.

  "Don't worry, I'm not going to let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers," Zeten reassured his friend as he removed a small, shiny metallic device from a hidden pocket in his shirt.

  * * * * * *

  "Tom, look at this," B'Elanna said as she held up a blue shiny orb in his direction.

  Her husband, who had been partaking of Dravian delicacies at the next counter quickly shoved the rest of the slice of pastry i
nto this mouth, wiped his mouth and went over to join his wife.

  "What is it?" he asked. She wiped the pastry flakes from his lips that he had missed and passed the orb to him.

  "The owner of this kiosk says that it is a special ball. Throw it to me you'll see."

  Tom raised one eyebrow in disbelief in a very good impression of Tuvok, and tossed the ball to B'Elanna. As the ball soared through the air it changed colors going from blue to green and then to yellow.

  "Wow!! That's neat the boys will love it. Can we get two? One for each of them?"

  B'Elanna giggled at her husband's expression. "Sure, we'll get it for them, but I have a feeling that you'll be playing with them more then they will. Here, your turn to catch," she said and she lobbed the ball in his direction.

  Tom backpedaled a bit in order to make the catch and Zeten took advantage of the opportunity to bump up against him and planted a small mechanical device on the back of his uniform.

  Embarrassed that he had almost knocked over the alien, Tom tucked the ball under his arm and turned to face him. "Sorry about that, but the little woman has a strong arm."

  "No problem, I'm glad I was there to help break your fall," the alien replied.

  "Thanks."

  "Tom, you okay?" B'Elanna asked holding a second ball. Tom nodded that he was. "I've paid for two balls. We have to get going."

  Tom joined B'Elanna in an area several meters away from the marketplace and she tapped her commbadge. "Voyager, two to beam up.

  Chapter 3

  "Activate the controls now!" Zeten told his partner who nodded his head in confirmation.

  Enskew's fingers flew over the portable control pad just as Tom and B'Elanna disappeared from the surface. And shortly thereafter the two aliens disappeared as well.

  * * * * * *

  The blue transporter light shimmered over the transporter pad and in an instant B'Elanna materialized and next to her the blue orb that Tom had been carrying fell onto the pad and rolled off the edge of the platform and onto the deck. Tom was not there.

  "Where is he, McNamara!" she yelled at the unfortunate transporter operator.

  "I don't know Lieutenant, I'm recalibrating the buffers now." McNamara tried again but he was a still unsuccessful. "One minute he was there and the next he was gone."

  "Let me try," she ordered, pushing the young ensign out of the way.

  Minutes passed but still Tom hadn't appeared. Finally, Joe Carey having been called to the transporter room by Ensign McNamara, stood by B'Elanna's side. He reviewed the procedures and checked the instruments. Sadly, he pushed her hands away from the controls.

  "I'm sorry, B'Elanna. I'm sorry. By the looks of it, there was some kind of transporter malfunction. Tom's couldn't have survived.

  B'Elanna looked up at her friend with disbelief written all over her face and shook her head. "No. No. It can't be. Everything was working correctly. I myself checked this transporter just two days ago. It was working perfectly. He can't be dead. He can't be. . ."

  Joe enveloped his arms around his boss and the half-Klingon sobbed in his arms. "Call the Captain," he ordered McNamara.

  * * * * * * *

  Tom Paris dropped to the deck of the alien space ship as soon as the beam released him. Ascertaining his situation, the pilot immediately stood up and faced two aliens, one of them being the one he had met in the marketplace. He tapped his commbadge, but received no response.

  "What going on here?! Why have you transported me to your ship?!"

  "Quiet!!" Enskew roared.

  "I demand to know what is . . . !" Tom bellowed just before Zeten backhanded him across the face and sent him careening back to the deck below.

  "I said quiet!!!"

  His order didn't stop the pilot who got up once again and faced his kidnappers. "I'm Lieutenant Thomas Paris of the Starship Voyager. I demand that you release me."

  "Or what?" the shorter alien said as his partner Zeten punched some buttons on a panel and three more of the aliens entered the room.

  "Or Captain Janeway will . . ."

  "She'll do nothing," Enskew interrupted. "As far as she and everyone else on Voyager knows you're dead."

  "Then why do you want me?" an incredulous Tom Paris asked them.

  "To sell," he replied simply and motioned for his crew to take the prisoner away.

  Tom tried his best to avoid the three aliens who approached him. He threw a punch at one and while trying to kick the other two. The fight lasted several minutes. Much longer than his captors would have imagined. Finally, one of the larger aliens of the group found his opportunity and clubbed the pilot across the back of his head knocking him unconscious.

  As one of the three threw Paris over his shoulder and left the room, Zeten turned to his friend. "She'll love him."

  "He'll fetch a handsome price," Enskew added his eyes glinting with avarice.

  "Of course he may be difficult to train."

  "Since when has that ever stopped the Lady Daylia. She'll have to have him, I'm sure of it. In fact I think we should offer him to her at three times the usual price," Zeten said.

  "Three times!!!" What if she doesn't accept," Enskew replied incredulously.

  "She will," Zeten replied confidently. "She will."

  Chapter 4

  ". . . and so we gather here today," the Captain spoke thickly. The words were very hard to say, they caught in her throat. "To say goodbye to a crewmate, a friend, a father, and a husband. We will all miss Thomas Eugene Paris."

  The memorial service then ended and a tearful B'Elanna clutched her two bewildered boys to her chest.

  She had told them two days ago that Dada wouldn't be coming back but of course being so young they didn't understand. They still asked for their Dada and each time they did B'Elanna's heart ached. It was almost impossible for her to deal with her husband's loss alone, but she had to take care of the twins as well. Lucas' blue eyes and Kyle's blond hair would always remind her of Tom, and they both were developing that sweet devilish smile that would charm the girls.

  Tom may be gone, B'Elanna vowed, but he would not be forgotten. She planned on speaking to Harry soon about helping her develop a holodeck program about Tom. One that she could take the boys to see, so they would never forget their father. There were so many things to do and she had to do them by herself. In much the same way her mother had to do, after B'Elannas father left, when she was a little girl.

  Chakotay accompanied the Captain back to her cabin after the service. He had never seen her so withdrawn, so quiet. It scared him.

  After they entered her quarters he helped her sit down on the sofa, then went to the replicator to get two cups of coffee. He handed one of the steaming cups to her.

  "Thanks," she replied woodenly.

  "Do you want to talk about it?" Chakotay didn't even wait for a response before he continued. "You miss him?"

  She nodded her head and being afraid that she would break down took a careful sip of coffee.

  "I do too. More than I'd care to admit." Kathryn's eyes met his dark ones as he sat down beside her. He continued. "You know, as well as anyone, that in the beginning I had no love lost for Paris. I look back know and can't imagine how I could have ever felt that way about him."

  "You didn't know."

  "No I just assumed like everyone else did. I never took the time to ask. To find out what Tom Paris was really like."

  "I had my own misconceptions about him at first."

  "You know, I don't think I ever told him that my feelings had changed. That I'd come to think of him as a friend. That I respected him."

  Kathryn reached over and patted Chakotay's knee. "He knew Chakotay. I'll miss him too. Tom was like a younger brother to me. I can't tell you how much I'll miss his 'yes, ma'am.' It will be very different on the bridge. And then there's B'Elanna and the babies. Those boys are going to grow up without a father and B'Elanna will have to go on without a husbands love and support." She put down the coffee cup and let Chako
tay hold her as she wept.

  Later that evening, Harry sat by himself in amongst the holocharacters in a dimly lit Sandrine's nursing his fourth beer. It had been a long time since he had used the program. Actually, Sandrine's hadn't been run since before the twins were born. It seemed fitting somehow to be here in one of Tom's favorite holoprograms. He remembered the good times he had here with his friend. Tom had taught him how to play pool, how to get over Libby, and helped him ease back into to dating again. He was the brother he had never had. Harry missed him. He missed him a lot.

  Alera found him still drowning his sorrows in his beer and talking with Sandrine when she arrived about a half an hour later. She could sense his despair and sadness.

  "Harry, it's time to go home," Alera said soothingly and she placed her arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.