Emotions Series 04 Rekindled Emotions Read online
REKINDLED EMOTIONS (P/T, K/f)
The 'Emotions Series' is comprised of the following stories in this order: Silent Emotions Basic Emotions Forgotten Emotions Rekindled Emotions
SUMMARY: Tom and his friends work to help him regain his memories.
DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters. We've only borrowed the characters to satisfy our own creative urges. Alera Lerise and a few assorted other minor characters though are ours and ours alone (that is unless someone else wants to borrow them and give us credit). Archiving is okay, just e-mail us. Please keep disclaimer and our names attached.
RECOGNITION OF APPRECIATION: A very special thanks goes out to our beta reader Phyllis J. Sutherland for beta reading our text.
REKINDLED EMOTIONS
by Marleena and PJ in NH
Chapter One
Tom Paris sat in his sterile, new cabin. Starring out of the spotless viewport into the space beyond. All around him, on the bed, sofa, table, and floor, lay his belongings--his clothes, datapadds, sports equipment, and assorted nicknacks, not to mention his toiletries. All of them needed to be taken care of. But they still had not been moved from where he had placed them two hours ago. Some of the things he remembered owning, but many he didn't. He certainly didn't remembered that he was married, to B'Elanna Torres no less, and was now a father of twin boys. Inside of just a few hours his life had changed.
Three and a half hours ago he had woken in Sickbay and had been informed that he not only had been experiencing an almost complete amnesia recently, to now only missing three years. Three years, he pondered, apparently a lot had happened to him during that time. He was now a husband, a father, well liked by the crew, and had been working with the Doctor before he had been abducted by a group of aliens and sold as a sexual slave to a powerful alien woman.
He shook his head and finally rose from where he had been sitting and walked over to the replicator. "Orange pekoe tea, hot and sweet," he ordered and agreed to the amount of replicator rations that would be required for his request. Within seconds, a piping hot cup of tea materialized. He gingerly picked it up the steaming cup and walked over to the table. Pushing a pile of clothes that had placed on the chair off onto the floor, he sat down.
His grandmother, Maureen Paris, would give him tea when he was troubled, he remembered. She would sit with him sipping on her own cup of tea, though she added milk to her cup, and they would talk for what seemed like hours until the problem had been resolved. If only it were that simple this time, he mused, carefully sipping the still too hot tea. If only he could remember that past three years. If only he could understand what had happened to make him fall in love with B'Elanna and father her children.
*****
"Do you think we should go in?" Alera asked Harry just outside of Tom's new cabin.
"Well, I want to let him know before he finds out from someone else. Come on, Alera, I'm sure he won't mind." Harry pressed the annunciator button confidently and waited.
"Come in," a familiar voice responded from the other side of the door.
The door slid open a grinning Harry stepped through with Alera in tow.
"Come on in and sit down, Harry," Tom invited. The pilot went over to the couch and moved the items that had been laying on it to the floor. When he turned around he was surprised to see that Harry wasn't alone.
"Tom, this is . . . ."
"Alera Lerise, a name that sounds like a song," Tom drawled walking over to the half-Betazoid. "I could never forget such a pretty lady." He gallantly picked up her free hand and brought it to his mouth and brushed the back of her hand with his lips.
Alera, being somewhat shy, blushed, laughed nervously, and stammered out a thank you.
"Watch it, Paris," Harry warned. "You're hitting on my fiancee."
"You're getting married?" Tom asked incredulously dropping Alera's hand.
"Yep."
"Well, congratulations, buddy!!!" Tom enveloped Harry in a bear hug, that left Harry gasping for breath when the pilot finally released him. "I'm very happy for you."
"Ah . . . thanks."
"This calls for champagne!" Tom announced and went over to the replicator and produced a bottle and three glasses. He passed around the glasses, popped the cork off the bottle, and poured a bit of the bubbly for them all. "Let's see, a toast I believe is in order." Tom pondered for a moment. "How about 'Through the lips and over the gums . . .' no that isn't quite right. . ."
Harry and Alera laughed at Tom's good mood, something they hadn't witnessed and missed for what seemed like a long time.
Tom's face became serious and he held up his glass. "To Harry Kim, the best friend a man could ever have, and to the lovely lady that will make him very happy. I hope you'll always be as happy as you obviously are tonight."
"Harry and Alera clinked their glasses against Tom's own and all three sipped the wine."
"Thank you, Tom. That was lovely," Alera said with a smile. She could sense his eclectic emotions. She could feel the old live- for-the-moment Tom Paris but she could also feel that he was still lost. Not lost like he was before, when he didn't remember hardly anything of his past life, but he was still unsure of where to trod. The past three years had changed the man who had first come on board Voyager, and he still had to come to grips with how those changes had made the other crewmembers feel about him.
"So have you set a date?" Tom asked and he emptied his glass and poured himself another and topped off his friends' glasses.
Harry looked and Alera and they shared a smile. "Not yet, but probably soon. She'll tell me when."
"I'm happy for you. I really am, but I do have a lot of things to take care of before I can go to bed tonight, " he said motioning to the items that had yet to be taken care of. "Maybe we can find some time and go to Sandrines and shoot some pool this week?"
"That sounds great, Tom. It's been a long time. I'll look forward to it."
******
B'Elanna sat on her sofa in her quarters curled up on the end with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders wishing that it was Tom's arms that were keeping her warm instead. It had been close to two weeks since Tom regained most of his memory. While she knew that Tom needed to be by himself for a while, she also desperately wanted him with her and the boys. As she had been doing the past couple of weeks, she pulled the blanket closer around her and snuggled down on to the sofa and fell asleep.
Early in the morning, too early for what little sleep she had, cries from the boys woke her. She went in, got them up and ready for the day. The trio went to the mess hall as had become their custom before B'Elanna dropped off Kyle and Lucas with the babysitter. This morning though after she had settled the boys at the table she was trying to get both boys fed as well as herself when her husband, who had been sitting at a table with Harry and Alera, joined her at the table dressed in his red and black uniform.
"Good morning, B'Elanna. "
"Morning. First day back on the bridge?"
"Yep. Looks like you need some help." Tom suggested, hoisting Lucas on his lap.
The boys looked up at the tall man and broad smiles erupted on their little faces. "Dada, Dada!!!" they chorused, delighted to see their father.
"Thanks, Tom, it can be quite a handful trying to feed the pair of them and me too."
"No problem, you know they are really great kids," he complimented helping Lucas spoon some pureed leola root into the boy's eager mouth. "Gee, B'Elanna, don't you ever feed these two, they're ravenous."
"People would think they starve by looking at them eat," she admitted with a grin. "They remind me of Senez birds on Kessik, where I grew up, with their little beaks
always open waiting to be fed. You know I think every time they see me they associate me with food."
Tom laughed and then became serious. "While I'm sure some of that is true, B'Elanna, anyone can tell that they adore you. When you come into a room, their faces light up." Tom picked up his napkin and wiped Lucas' face of the food that started to dribble down his chin.
"I could say the same about you. They love their father. As far as they are concerned the sun rises and sets on you," B'Elanna said carefully studying the pilot's face for reaction to her words. "They miss you, Tom."
Tom was quiet for a moment, trying to decide what to say. "I'm sorry, B'Elanna. I'll try and come by more often. There has just been so much to catch up on. What if I come by, on my next day off. I could maybe take them back to that zoo program you created?"
"They'd really love that. You know, maybe if you spend a little more time with them, you might regain some of your memories?"
"Maybe," he replied sullenly, nothing had seemed to help so far. Tom could tell that B'Elanna was becoming impatient with the lack of progress, make that no progress, he was having trying to recall the missing three years. "B'Elanna, it's not that I don't want to remember, I do. Oh, no..."
Kyle decided that at that moment that he would investigate Newton's theory of gravity and upended his bowl of food all over the floor. A very tired Chief Engineer grabbed her napkin and began to wipe up the food that had spilled. "Well, you wouldn't know it. We've hardly seen you!" she roared, her anger getting the better of her.
Alera, hearing the commotion, left Harry at their table and went over to help.
"Listen, maybe now is not a good time for us to talk," Tom suggested. "And besides I've got to report to the bridge."
"Here let me take Lucas," Alera offered. Tom gratefully handed his blue-eyed boy over to her.
"Whatever," B'Elanna grumbled from underneath the table.
Tom kneeled down to look at her. "I'll pick them on Thursday at 1400 hours. Is that all right?"
"Fine!" the half-Klingon snapped.
"Good! I'll see you then!" he snapped back. Then kissing each boy, he left to report to the bridge.
"B'Elanna, I'll help you take them to the babysitters?" Alera asked, feeling the tension between the couple, she didn't even have to be a Betazoid to feel it, she was sure everyone in the room could sense it.
"I can do it, Alera. It's okay," she insisted.
Alera, for a change, shoved aside her shyness and exerted herself. "I didn't *ask*, B'Elanna. I'm *telling* you, I'm going to help you. I'm just getting off my duty shift, and I have the time."
The engineer was surprised at the unusual boldness of the half- Betazoid, and relented. B'Elanna took Kyle and Alera took Lucas and left the mess hall behind.
After depositing the twins with the babysitter, B'Elanna left to go to work and Alera to return to her cabin.
"So how's it going, B'Elanna?" Alera asked B'Elanna on their way to the turbolift.
"It's going, but it could be better--much better."
Alera could sense her trepidation. "It's wonderful that Tom has regained so much of his memory," she offered and waited for the reaction.
B'Elanna nodded.
"Isn't it?"
"Of course it is!" the engineer snapped.
Alera placed one hand on her friend's shoulder. "B'Elanna, let's talk."
"But I have to go to work," she argued.
"You're the Chief Engineer--delegate."
B'Elanna paused and nodded. She knew that she had been found out and she also knew that she had to talk to someone. Maybe talking to Alera would be a good idea.
The two friends walked into Alera's cabin, informed their superior officers and their staff that they would be late, and sat down at Alera's dining table to talk.
"Talk to me, B'Elanna. Tell me what you're feeling."
The half-Klingon took a deep breath, slowly exhaled, and looked at her friend. "Why don't *you* tell me what I'm feeling, after all you are half-Betazoid?" she challenged.
"I could do that. I could tell you what I think you're feeling, but I think you need to confront these emotions, B'Elanna." Alera reached across the table and squeezed B'Elanna's hand. "You need to verbalize what's going on inside of you."
B'Elanna laughed humorlessly focusing her gaze on the tabletop, before she looked up at Alera again. "So when did Janeway make you ship's counselor?"
Alera Lerise smiled slightly. "She didn't, I'm running a private practice on the side, but don't tell her." B'Elanna returned the smile. "I want to help you if you'll let me. I've come to think of you as a friend--a good friend--and I don't like to see the people I care about suffer. It tears me up inside. I'll admit I don't know how much I can do to help you, but I can at least be here for you, B'Elanna. Talk to me, I am a good listener." She gave B'Elanna's hand a comforting squeeze.
"You know me too well, and you are a good friend--better than I deserve." B'Elanna paused and drew in a deep breath and slowely exhaled. "I'll tell you, but like a good counselor, it stays between the two of us. Well I suppose you can tell Harry, but if I ever hear it come back to me through anybody else, I won't be responsible for any actions taken by my Klingon half."
"You can trust me. You know you can."
"I know." B'Elanna squeezed Alera's hand a little as if trying to derive some comfort from her. "I guess that I feel...guilty, Alera."
"Guilty?"
B'Elanna nodded. "After Tom came back to us from that planet, all I wanted was for him was for him to regain his memory. And now that he has regained most of his memories back, I find that it isn't enough. I want more. The Tom that loved me is . . . .well it's like he's there but there's a forcefield around him. I can see him, but I can't touch him. I miss him Alera-- desperately. Every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up, I yearn to feel his arms around me once more. I long for him to be with me and the boys, but at the same time I feel guilty for wanting so much when I've been given so much already. It's wonderful that he has remembered so much but . . . "
"You love him, your heart aches?" B'Elanna nodded. "So that's why you've been working the extra hours and not getting enough sleep?"
"How'd you know?"
"Word gets around. A lot of people are concerned about you, B'Elanna--Harry, the Captain, Chakotay...and Tom."
"Tom?"
"I could sense his emotions this morning. He's worried about you and about himself. He still feels lost, B'Elanna. It's like being lost and you ask for directions to get home, but the directions aren't complete. In the distance you can see where you belong, where people expect you do be, but you just can't get there."
"I didn't realize that he felt that way," B'Elanna admitted.
"He wants to find his way back, back to you and his sons, but he doesn't know how."
"Damn, this isn't easy."
"I know, it's been very difficult for both of you."]
The Chief Engineer tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. "Sorry, Alera. I'm still a little bit tired. I need some more coffee."
"There's nothing to be sorry about. And you don't need any more coffee, what you need is sleep. In fact, you're going to crawl up on my bed and have a nice long nap." Alera pulled on B'Elanna's hands and guided her around the table.
"But I have to go to work, we're degaussing the cylinder heads today," B'Elanna said, but she didn't pull back from Alera, she continued to follow her over to the sleeping area.
"Ooooh, degaussing cylinder heads," Alera chided. "That's something I'd look forward to."
"But I've got to be...," the engineer yawned again, "what if..."
"What if what? Your whole crew can probably degauss cylinder heads in their sleep, or are you telling me that you're the only one who knows how to do it?"
"No..."
"I thought not. "Now there are clean sheets on my bed and you're going to crawl in between them and have a sleep. You have nothing to worry about, the boys are at the sitters and I'll let Chakotay and your c
rew know that you won't be there today," Alera informed her.
* * * * * *
"You're saying that B'Elanna Torres--our B'Elanna Torres--slept the day away?" Harry asked his intended.
Alera squirreled herself under his arm and made herself comfortable beside him on Harry's sofa. "Yep, never even stirred, I don't think she even turned over the whole day."
"Boy, she must be tired. I don't think I've ever known her to nap during the day. It was nice of you to look out for her."
"Somebody had to, she's not looking after herself. It's so sad to see her and Tom. It seems so strange not to see them together, and when they are together the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Someone really ought to do something," Alera suggested and tilted her face up towards her fiancee's for a kiss.
Harry willingly obliged, before returning to the conversation. "You know, maybe they need a little push. This waiting for them to find each other themselves, doesn't seem to be working."
"What are you suggesting, Harry Kim?" she asked with a note of concern in her voice.
With a conspiratorial grin he bent down close to Alera and whispered in her ear. "You ever hear of 'matchmaking'?"
Alera smiled.
Chapter Two
Tom and Harry sat at a table in Sandrine's. After hearing about Harry being engaged, Tom thought he would treat his friend to a a game of pool and a drink to celebrate. They had already played three games of pool which, of course to Harry's dismay, Tom had won. And now, the two were talking and laughing. In a sense, they were catching up. Tom wanted to know what he had missed during those three years he couldn't recall. Harry indulged his friend, hoping that Tom might remember the rest.
Tom, though was getting a headache as he tried to absorb all the information. He rubbed his temples and let his eyes wander. Blue eyes fell on a pretty, young blonde Lieutenant, at the bar. Tom remembered that she had once turned down his advances. Because she was sitting alone, he assumed that she hadn't found anyone, yet, so he decided to give her another chance.