My Other Car is a Spaceship Read online

“Still,” began Senior Captain MarLekzol, “because it is a fortress, rather than a warship, it is immobile. This means it cannot elude us. We have the advantage of mobility. We can approach from any direction, and we can retreat, if needed. The fortress is pinned down, in effect.” Her red antennae twitched as she spoke.

  “Excellent point, Captain. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to devise a plan of attack. We must find a way to destroy this fortress before the pirates become too powerful to defeat. We have little operational data on the base, so we must account for all eventualities.

  “Now, if you will direct your attention to the holoscreen, you will see the latest images we have of the asteroid belt in the vicinity of the pirate base.”

  Four days later, after the battle plans were finalized, Kalen met with the senior crew of Adventurer in the captain’s ready room. The somber mood of those seated around the table was in stark contrast to the cheerful rosy glow of the lighting.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Kalen began, “we’re about to undertake the most ambitious assault ever attempted—or for that matter, ever needed—against a pirate base. I don’t have to tell you how vital it is to the future of the Unity, and indeed the future of civilization in this sector of space, that the assault succeeds. You have before you sealed copies of our orders. Now that we’re under way with no chance of the information leaking out, I’m authorized to reveal them to you. Please open your packets and take a few minutes to review the material within. Then we’ll discuss these plans.”

  The room was silent but for the sounds of magnetic seals clicking open and the rustling of sheets of plastifilm as they slid from the numbered packets on the table. The silence continued as the crew read the contents of the packets, broken only by a sharp intake of breath here or a chuckle there. Each person took his or her time. No one wanted to miss something important through haste. Fortunately, the packets contained concise overviews of the tactics each ship would employ, as well as the overall strategy of the fleet. The specific details would be devised en route by each ship’s crew, and by coordination between the eight squadron commodores and all the other captains.

  When the last person laid down his or her packet, Kalen spoke. “Before we discuss operational matters, does anyone have any questions or comments about what you’ve just read?”

  Chief of Security Arouk’Brout’Voul nodded. “I do, sir. It appears the Unity is committing nearly eighty percent of its ships to this one assault. Is that not rash? What if the assault fails? That would spell the end of the Unity as an effective fighting force.”

  “I understand your concern, Brute, and believe me, I share it. However, based on the intelligence the Unity has gathered over the past weeks, we really don’t have a choice. As best we can ascertain, a smaller force wouldn’t be able to stand up to the firepower of the fortress. That means this is an all-or-nothing assault. If we succeed, we severely hurt the pirates’ ability to coordinate their activities and that gives us a chance to reduce the pirates to nuisance status once again. If we fail, the pirates own this sector of space. That’s an option not worth contemplating.”

  “Of course.”

  “Did I read correctly, Captain,” Dr. Chalmis’Noud’Ourien began, “that the Unity has obtained nuclear missiles from the Alberian military for use in this assault?”

  “Quite right, doctor. We have a need that nothing else could fill. Your staff will have to be ready to treat radiation sickness if things go wrong.”

  “We will be ready, Captain.”

  “I know you will, Nude.”

  Next, it was Hal’s turn. “Captain, I understand the need for the extra power generators strapped to the hull. That’ll give our shields and our energy weapons a lot more strength. But the unbalanced weight distribution and the shift in the ship’s center of gravity will play holy hell on my ability to bob and weave if we get into a firefight with other ships.”

  “I understand, Hal. It can’t be helped. Our only hope of reaching the pirate base through whatever booby traps and firepower they have waiting for us—and our intel, spotty as it is, tells us it’s massive—is to beef up our offensive and defensive capabilities.”

  “I realize it can’t be helped. I’m just pointing out the consequences of that decision.”

  “Believe me, it didn’t go unnoticed. It was a matter of finding the lesser of two evils. Still, you have almost two weeks to get used to the different feel of the ship before we get there. I trust that’ll be enough?”

  Hal shrugged. “I can’t promise she’ll fly as well as before, but I’ll fly her as well as it’s possible to do.”

  “That’s all I can ask for. Now, are there any more pressing questions before we get down to operational details?” There were none. “Good. Then let’s begin with how best to make use of the additional firepower we have at our disposal, considering that we’re up against asteroids in addition to ships.”

  “Sir, a supply ship just brought confirmation that more than a dozen Unity ships staged for fuel and supplies at the spacedock facility orbiting Thessis.” Jern Ishtawahl continued with his report. “Our agent there estimated two more days before they would be ready to leave. That was thirteen days ago.”

  “So,” Penrod said with a thoughtful nod, “that makes more than eighty Unity ships congregating at spacedocks in seven different systems, all within a couple jumps of us.”

  “More than eighty that we know of,” Ishtawahl corrected. “There may be more in systems where we don’t have spies.”

  “Right. Good point. I have to concur with your assessment. The Unity is finally getting off their asses and coming after us. How long do you think we have before they get here?”

  “It is impossible to be certain; however, we can be reasonably sure the fleet will not want to delay before attacking. From their standpoint, that would increase the odds of us learning of the attack plan and destroying their advantage of surprise.” The two pirates shared a wolfish grin. “It seems likely the entire fleet would meet up somewhere, perhaps in interstellar space, before jumping here. Given the maximum speed of their ships, the differences in the distances to cover from the various spacedocks, and allowing for the possibility that they had to wait for another group of ships following the last one we know of, I would estimate that we have between seventy-seven and ninety-two hours until the fleet arrives in this system.”

  Tarl Penrod pursed his lips as he took in this information. “They’ve pulled the fleet together sooner than we anticipated, but not by a lot. We must really have them worried.” He smiled. “We knew they’d have to respond this way sooner or later. So it was sooner rather than later. No matter. Is everything ready?”

  “Yes sir. We are as ready as we can be to defend against an assault of this magnitude.”

  “So much the better. When we destroy their fleet, the Unity will fall.”

  “Sir.” Ishtawahl hesitated, not wanting to anger his boss.

  “Spit it out, Jern. What’s bothering you?”

  “I just hope we are not being overconfident.” By ‘we,’ of course, he meant Penrod. “Even though we think we are prepared for all eventualities, with a fleet of this size anything could happen.”

  “That’s exactly why I prize your council, Jern. I expect you to tell me if I’ve overlooked anything. If you see any holes in our plan, by all means, let me know so we can fill them.”

  Jern shook his head in the human way, his green scales reflecting the bright overhead lighting. “That is exactly what I mean, sir. It is impossible to foresee every eventuality, every stratagem the enemy might employ, every diversion, every counterintuitive ploy. One can never be sure that there are no chinks in the armor somewhere. Perhaps they have new weapons we know nothing of, or maybe they have suborned some of our people and know more about this facility’s design than we give them credit for.”

  Penrod nodded in thought. “I consider both of those possibilities highly unlikely. We’re too well connected not to have heard even an inkling of a se
cret weapon project. And none of our top people have been off this rock in months. However, your point is a valid one. Consider my overconfidence suitably tempered.”

  “That is good to hear, Tarl.”

  Penrod always knew when his second-in-command was back in his comfort zone: He dropped the ‘sirs’ and called Penrod by his given name.

  “Excellent. But just to be sure, have all the department Chiefs run their environmental, power, and weapon systems through level-three diagnostics one more time. This would be a bad time for one of your unforeseen circumstances to jump up and bite us.”

  Ishtawahl grinned, an unsettling sight to those not familiar with the Alberian species. His 120 razor-sharp teeth glistened in the bright light. “I will do that, Tarl, with pleasure.”

  “Captain, the last of the squadrons has arrived. The entire fleet is assembled.”

  “Excellent. Get me all of the other squadron leaders,” Senior Captain Tra Mastul ordered.

  The leader of Squadron 1 wanted to be sure all the other Senior Captains understood their parts in the battle plan. The Thorian was acting as admiral for this assault—a rank that didn’t exist in the Unity. The other Senior Captains were his commodores, each leading a squadron. Normally, policing activities were coordinated from the commissioner’s office. However, due to the magnitude of this assault, Commissioner of the Fleet Boutan’Mourn’Froul felt that during the attack there must be no question about who was in charge. And someone had to have the authority to change the battle plan as needed while the fleet was out of touch with HQ. As the most senior of the Unity’s ship captains, Mastul got the nod to head up the fleet.

  Once the conference call was set up among the eight ships, he began. “Ladies and gentlemen, unless any of you have a mechanical problem that would prevent it, we jump in an hour.”

  “Tarl, sensors have detected several large disturbances in hyperspace. The Unity ships appear to be coming from eight different vectors. They will reach the system within minutes.” Ishtawahl appeared calmer than Penrod would have expected.

  “And so it begins. Do we know where they’ll arrive in the system? I know they’ll end up here eventually, but do we know where they’ll be staging from?”

  “Not yet. I will let you know as soon as we determine that.”

  “Good. Tell all the pilots to stand ready. When this happens, it’s gonna happen in a hurry.”

  Adventurer re-entered realspace just inside the system’s Kuiper Belt. Having billions of ice objects at their back masked the presence of the fleet from anyone viewing from a distance, at least temporarily. Nearly five billion kilometers distant, the yellow dwarf sun of the Borhtar system appeared barely larger than the stars that served as a backdrop.

  Kalen knew that even if there were sensors nearby to register the fleet’s presence and transmit the data to the fortress, the radio signals would take more than four hours to arrive. By then, the battle would be well under way.

  “We’ve arrived, Captain,” Hal announced. “Scanning for bogeys.” He waited for the data. “Nothing way out here. It looks like there’s several dozen ships in the general target area. I count…thirty-seven bogeys. There may be others obscured by asteroids or in hiding. That’s a lot more than the reconnaissance holos show is normal. I guess they’re waiting for us.”

  “That’s not surprising. The pirates clearly have a mole or two inside Unity HQ. Still, they can’t know our battle plan. Only the Senior Captains and a few others were privy to that before we left. We didn’t expect this to be easy; now we know it won’t be. But that doesn’t change the mission.”

  “No sir. Still, we know they have a lot more ships than we’re seeing. I wonder why there aren’t more of them in-system.”

  “Could be they don’t think they need any more, what with the fortress to cover them. Besides, they have pirating to do. If they keep all their ships here waiting for our arrival, then we’ve effectively won already. Or perhaps they’re lying in wait somewhere else. As soon as we jump in, they’ll do so as well. Keep your eyes and ears open. In the meantime, what’s the status of the squadron?”

  “All sixteen ships present and accounted for. The other squadrons are on schedule, coming in on different hyperspace vectors. The combined fleet should be gathered in another twenty-seven minutes.”

  “Excellent. Coordinate with the other squadron pilots so we all jump together on schedule. If we do indeed have the element of surprise, we need to take advantage of that with a synchronized attack.”

  “Will do.”

  “Is everything ready, Jern?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  We’re back to ‘sir’, are we? So he’s feeling the pressure after all.

  “Good. Then all we have to do is sit back and wait. This is going to be fun.”

  Over the next forty-plus minutes, the eight commodores coordinated the activities of their respective squadrons. Finally, it was time.

  “We’re jumping in ten. Everyone hold onto your hats.” Hal took a moment to compose himself. He’d survived dozens of battles before, through a combination of skill and luck.

  Will that be enough this time?

  He signaled Conflict Alert, sounding the klaxons and raising the shields. “Five…four…three…two…here we go!”

  At the designated moment, all eight squadrons, comprising 128 ships, pounced from eight different directions at once. Square in their figurative crosshairs was a rather large asteroid, surrounded and obscured by a cloud of smaller asteroids—asteroids festooned with the nastiest surprises the pirates could dream up.

  Thus began the battle for control of the spaceways.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “X marks the spot, Captain,” Hal said, referring to the target highlighted on the main holoscreen. “We’ve arrived at the designated coordinates. The fortress is somewhere inside that mess of asteroids shielding it.”

  He scanned for pirate ships. “I count thirty-nine bogeys. Make that forty. They’re coming out of the woodwork. There are over fifty bogeys now. Sixty, and more coming.”

  “This is it, ladies and gentlemen,” Capt Jeffries announced over the intercom to the rest of the ship. “We all know our duties. If we do them to the best of our abilities, either we’ll be victorious or we’ll lay a beating on these cutthroats they won’t soon forget!”

  Hal announced, “Engaging the first bogey. Let’s see how these enhanced weapons and shields do.”

  He said a quick prayer and launched a shield-seeking quem at the nearest ship—a small one, only two-thirds the mass of Adventurer, but bristling with energy weapons. Hal immediately followed with a burst from the quad antiproton cannons. The missile struck the pirate broadside, weakening the shield. The supercharged APC blasts smashed past the shield and burned a hole right through the ship. An enemy missile still in its cradle detonated in a secondary explosion. The ship blew itself apart in a spectacular incendiary display.

  “Yee-hah! Take that, you bastard!” Hal wore a face-splitting grin. “That was easy.”

  Let’s not get too cocky, son. That’s just one ship. There are sixty-seven others out there where he came from.

  Even as he exulted, three pirates launched missiles at Adventurer, and a fourth hit her with a gamma ray laser. Hal managed to evade all but one missile and the laser burst. “The new shields are holding up like a champ. She handles more like a drunken sailor now than a racehorse. But maybe that’ll work to our advantage. The pirates know these ships. They know how they usually handle. Our unbalanced configuration might inject a note of unpredictability into the mix, at least for a while, until they figure out how to compensate.”

  Hal continued to fire and evade while he spoke. He launched missiles at two more pirate vessels and mass driver slugs at another. He followed the missiles with bursts from the APCs and fired a second round of slugs at the third ship. Two of the slugs penetrated the shield like armor-piercing bullets through window glass. The shock wave of the impact literally shook the ship to pieces.
<
br />   “Yes! That’s two!”

  “Let’s not get overconfident, Hal,” Kalen admonished gently. His smile showed that he, too, was pleased by how well the fight was going.

  “I know, I know. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this easy.”

  Calm down, Hal. You know what they say: when things are going too perfectly, remember Murphy’s Law.

  The longer the battle continued, the more obvious it became that the first pirate ship’s destruction wasn’t a fluke. The enhanced APCs were more than a match for the enemy shields, and the Unity shields in return were up to stopping multiple strikes by the pirates’ weapons. In short order, the Unity battle fleet destroyed or crippled fourteen others.

  Damn. We might just clean up the whole pirate fleet, or at least the portion that’s here in the Borhtar system, in this one assault. Why didn’t we think of this approach sooner?

  After twenty minutes of fighting, more than thirty pirate vessels were out of the fight compared to only two of the Unity ships—one due to a high-speed collision with a pirate ship that destroyed them both. Too many ships zigzagged in too little space.

  “That’s nearly half of their ships, Captain. We outnumber them almost four to one now. This shouldn’t take long to mop up.”

  “Sir, shouldn’t we initiate Phase 2? Our ships are taking a terrible beating. How much longer are we going to allow that to happen?” Jern Ishtawahl’s scaly face showed his concern by a tightening of the skin around the eyes.

  “I think we’ve waited long enough, Jern. Begin Phase 2. I wanted to get a feel for their tactics and armament before committing to it.” Tarl Penrod sat back in his command chair, deep in the heart of Smuggler’s Cove, the pirate fortress, and smiled as he thought of what was to come.

  “It is time.” Captain MimKestal pursed her lips. This battle has gone those Unity bastards’ way for far too long. It is time to even the odds—and then some.