We'll Always Be a Family Anthology Read online

  It was the pencil tapping across the paper that distracted me from the design as my mind wandered to the night out with Alec. I was giddy and hopeful, or more like waiting, for him to call or text. It was probably better this way anyways, and despite what my body felt when I was around him, we had no business starting things up again. We’d been there, done that, and it hadn’t turned out well.

  A half day wasted with little to no designs finished, I finally gave up and called my friend Trina to see if she wanted to meet for a drink. She would set me straight when it came to Alec.

  Trina and I had met when Alec and I first decided to explore adopting. She worked as a social worker for an agency that specializes in private adoptions. My mind wandered to the day when she had called us, begging us to foster a baby until a permanent family could be located. After all the disappointment leading to considering adoption, we hadn’t come to a final decision if adopting was for us, but she was in a bind, and we couldn’t say no to the beautiful baby boy she brought to our door. The prospective adoptive family had backed out when they found out they were pregnant, and before a new family could be secured, the mother had gone into labor a month early. The minute the baby was placed in my arms, with Alec looking over my shoulder in wonder, we were both smitten. That baby boy became our baby in that moment, and after a long and grueling process of adoption, we made it official.

  The bar was buzzing and full of people stopping for the happy hour special when I walked in. Spotting Trina right away, I headed over to her.

  “Tell me about all these fabulous dates you’ve been on lately! I’ve been so busy at work that I’m going to live vicariously through you for a while,” she gushed as our drinks arrived. She never wasted time, always getting right to the punch.

  We dived into my dating failures, and when I got to the part about running into Alec, her interest was piqued even more. After the whole story was out there, and the disappointment I felt that he hadn’t called was written all over my face, she leaned forward. “You know, there is no rule that says you can’t call him.” Trina grabbed my phone from the table and handed it to me, indicating with a nod of her head that I should call Alec, and I should call him now.

  “You think I should? I mean, he is my ex-husband. We got divorced for a reason. Why would we want to go through all that again?” I said to myself more than anyone else. Wondering why I was even considering wanting to be with Alec again. But no matter what reasons my mind gave, since I had run into him, I couldn’t deny that my heart still loved him, and clearly, from the way my body responded, I was still attracted to him.

  She reached her hand across the table and gave mine a squeeze. She had always been a fan of Alec and had been just as disappointed as I had been when we weren’t able to work things out. “What you two went through is something no parent should ever have to do, but you’ve both come out of it better and stronger.” And then on a lighter note, she added, “You only live once, Addie. Call him.”

  I spent hours arguing with myself about what I should do. I’d stare at my phone, Trina’s words from the bar running through my mind. Finally, I grabbed my phone, and before I could decide against it, I dialed Alec’s number but then hesitated. Panic overwhelmed me. What if I had misread his intentions when we went to the movie? I hung up right as his voice mail came on.

  Chapter Five

  The one event that brought the whole town together each year was the airshow. It was the one thing I hadn’t gotten back to doing yet. Last year, when I didn’t go, I was probably the only person in the whole city who hadn’t been there. This year I was going. My therapist had assigned it to me as homework, conquering a fear of mine, which was that it would be too much for me to handle, but I was in a different place now, so we felt it was time. The chance of running into Alec was good too, and that helped settle my fear but caused a new set of nerves.

  The drive to the air show was filled with excitement and apprehension. This was a ride that hadn’t been taken since before Caleb passed away. It was always Alec’s dream to become a pilot, and he had started lessons while we were still together, but when Caleb got sick, he gave it up. The air show was something he enjoyed going to, and he had taken Caleb a few years in a row. When Caleb was sick and there wasn’t much hope for a recovery, treatments became more about making him comfortable. That was when Alec used his charm to convince the doctors to let him take Caleb to one last show. He died a few short weeks after that trip. After that last time, the air show was another thing I couldn’t bring myself to do, but it was time to face this head on with Trina by my side.

  It was hard not to get swept up in the thrill of it all as we took our seats. The sun was shining down from the perfectly blue sky when the announcement for the first plane came over the loudspeaker. The first act was putting on a great show, performing a bunch of daring flips and tricks in the sky, when a sharp intake of breath came from the seat next to me. Turning quickly to see what had gotten Trina’s attention, my eyes traveled from her surprised face, which was slowly forming into a sly smile, to the program she was holding out to me. “You need to see this,” she requested as she nudged the thick paper in my direction.

  Curiosity got the best of me, and I snatched the program from her hand. “What?” I demanded while skimming the print. My eyes scanned the ads and went to the lineup of performers. Suddenly they landed on the amateur section and the second to last performer. Alec Greyson.

  My eyes met Trina’s, and the surprised look and sound that had come from her made sense; I was feeling the same shock. Alec had finished his pilot license. His goal. His dream. A feeling of excitement for seeing him flying bubbled up inside me, making me want to explode with anticipation for his turn, and when it finally came, he did not disappoint. My heart swelled with pride as he looped the plane around with ease through the sky.

  I reached for Trina’s hand and held on tightly when he began his landing, and when the wheels touched the ground, the breath that I didn’t even know I was holding came out.

  “Let’s go congratulate him!” Trina said brightly and started pulling me towards the aisle. I followed closely behind her and towards the hanger where the planes were on display.

  My feet tentatively took me closer to him when I spotted him by his plane. He noticed me before I got to him, and a smile spread across his lips. He excused himself from the conversation he was having to make his way towards me.

  When he reached me, I spoke immediately. “Alec, that was amazing!” I exclaimed as we hugging to greet each other.

  “Thank you,” he replied, and by the smile plastered on his face, I could tell he was proud of himself too.

  “I didn’t realize you had finished your license, much less that you could do that.” I pointed to the sky to indicate the show he had just put on as we wandered closer to his plane.

  My hand ran down the side of it, and he leaned in towards me. He softly purred in my ear, “There are a lot of things you missed, Addie.”

  I wanted to question what he meant by that, but the way his voice came over me left me almost a puddle, and I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the mood or whatever was causing me to feel giddy and desired.

  He pulled back and continued to tell the story about how he had taken flying back up, bought this small plane, and the rest was history in his eyes. The lightness in his tone and the sparkle in his eyes told me that he was truly happy, and I could only hope that I would feel the same way again. Taking it one day at a time was my current motto. I would get there too. I would be truly happy someday.

  My thoughts were interrupted when Alec suggested I wait around for a little bit. He said that he would take me up for a quick flight.

  It was sunset before we got a chance to take that flight. The airfield had mostly cleared, and Trina had left after I explained that I was going to stay with Alec and that he would make sure I got home.

  Alec helped me into the small cockpit of the plane and ran around the front of the plane to get into his own se
at. He placed a headset over my ears and pulled one on himself. His motions were swift and concise, like this was something he had always done. The engine roared to life, and the gages were checked and clicked one way or the other. My heart swelled with pride watching him get us ready for flight, and with a soft tug of the of the handle bars, the plane moved forward. The speed increased, and I gripped the edge of the seat with all my strength. Alec laughed, and through the headset, he reassured me. “It’s going to be fine. Trust me.” Then the nose was pointing upwards, and we were off the ground in an instant.

  The flight made me feel free, like I was letting it all go and leaving it behind me. It was as if I was weightless, and everything that had been weighing me down had fallen off my shoulders. Alec’s smile grew with my reaction, and he tried showing off by doing a few tricks that had me screaming in fear, but before long, I became more comfortable and laughter was bubbling from my stomach. Alec laughed with me, and in that moment my heart was bursting with happiness. It was a moment I never thought I’d feel again.

  We grew quiet while we took in the beautiful hues of the pink and orange of the sunset. It almost felt like we were flying right into it. Being sucked up by its beauty. Securing in my mind that even after all the horrific things that followed Caleb’s illness, there was still shining moments in life. It took a second chance and a flight into the sunset for me to realize that. Caleb would be happy that both his parents were finally at peace.

  Alec landed us smoothly on the ground. I was incredibly impressed by what he had accomplished, and I wondered if I would get my chance to accomplish something too.

  Chapter Six

  The plane ride was one of those romantic moments that had lifted me off my feet, and when Alec dropped me off at home later that night, I wasn’t ready for this time with him to be over. I felt truly alive again, and I didn’t want to lose that feeling.

  On my doorstep, with the warm night air and a slight breeze swirling around us, Alec wrapped his arms around my waist as he tugged me closer for a gentle goodbye hug, and when he pulled away, my lips found his.

  He broke the kiss almost immediately, and I felt red creep over my cheeks. It was a bold move for me, and he did not reciprocate in the way I wanted. Instead of making an excuse and leaving, though, he gazed down at me with wonder. It felt like he was looking for permission, and my head nodded slightly. That was all it took for his lips to come crashing into mine.

  His arms forced my body tight against his, and I could feel him straining against the zipper of his jeans. When the kiss broke, we both labored for breath while my fingers fumbled with the keys to get the door unlocked as quickly as I could. Alec stepped behind me, and immediately his warmth and rustic scent took over my senses when his arms went around mine as he took the mishandled keys, unlocking and opening the door in one swift movement. He pushed us into the entryway of what had once been our house but now was only mine. With a kick of his foot, the door was shut, and I was spinning around to meet his lips as they came towards mine.

  Not having the restraint to make it upstairs to the bedroom, we ended up on the couch with a trail of clothing left behind. Our lips and hands explored all the parts of each other that we hadn’t seen or touched in what felt like forever, and even though we had been together many times when we were married, this time felt new and exciting. It was like the first time, and when he entered me, I thought I might burst with need. I don’t know if it was the fact that we had reconnected, all the things that had been left unsaid, or the fact that I hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, but it only took a few minutes before I felt the familiar tightening sensation low in my stomach and then the quaking of my body as I exploded around him. He followed shortly after, and then we lay wrapped in each other’s limbs. As the night went on, a second and third round followed.

  In the early morning, I woke on the floor, sated and happy, but disappointment followed when I realized that I was alone. Light was peeking through the middle of the curtains where they didn’t quite meet, and the scent of coffee drifted from some place within the house. Wrapping the blanket around my still naked body, I followed the aroma of coffee to the kitchen and I found Alec leaning over the center island, reading the newspaper, and drinking the delicious morning brew.

  His bare ass was facing towards me, and he was so engulfed in what he was reading that he hadn’t heard me come into the room. I tiptoed towards him and gave his ass a smack. A red spot formed where my hand made contact, and I giggled as he startled. He quickly turned towards me, and there was a playful glint in his eyes as I dropped the blanket and began to run from the room. He was quick and had his arms around my waist in a moment. His lips traced up and down my spine, sending shivers through my body as he led me back towards the island.

  My legs hit the cabinets first, and he bent me over the island at my waist. His lips continued down my spine, ending just above my own bare cheeks. I tensed, expecting some retaliation for the ass slap, but instead his fingers found their way around until they were rubbing my clit, and his lips found their way back up my spine and to my neck, which is where they stayed. One finger pushed inside and then another, pumping in and out as he rubbed me too. My breath came in a sharp hiss when my muscles tightened around him. He replaced his fingers with his cock just as a climax ripped through my body.

  Chapter Seven

  The days after our sex marathon flew by with a few calls and texts back and forth. The deadline for the design show was upon me, and I had a million and one things to get done. Alec remembered those days, and other than a few words of encouragement, he stayed away from the house and told me that when it was all over, he would take me out on a real date. His exclamation sent butterflies through my stomach and a tingle between my legs. There was no concern of pregnancy or a need to talk about our lack of protection since we both knew it was impossible for me to get pregnant.

  I sent tickets for the show to his office and gossiped with Trina all about the plane ride and what happened after. I wanted, badly, to dissect it and find meaning in everything that had happened between us, but instead of falling into all those stereotypical relationship patterns, I decided to enjoy the moment and the unknown. To see where it all went on its own.

  ***

  My sewing needle had just pricked my finger when the doorbell rang. As I got to my feet headed to the door, my back ached from stooping over the jacket I was putting the finishing touches on. I quickly forgot my discomfort when I opened the door. It was Alec, smiling and holding up a delicious smelling bag of Chinese take-out.

  “Time for a break,” he announced as he brushed past me into the house. “I know how it goes right before a show. You never stop to sleep, much less to eat.”

  We sat on the floor in my design space, surrounded by my pieces, as we ate dinner. We laughed at our memories of the last show I had done, and when dinner was finished, Alec told me he would stay and help cut the extra threads from my pieces, just as he had done numerous times during our marriage.

  It was when he didn’t return from cleaning up dinner that I got curious about what he was doing. In the hallway, he was standing in front of Caleb’s bedroom door, his hand on the doorknob. It was closed. The door was always closed. Even though I had cleared out most of his belongs a while back, I couldn’t bring myself to look into his room every time I passed by, so the door remained closed. Alec had already moved out before I got up the nerve to even venture into Caleb’s room after his death, so he had not been in there since.

  My feet padded softly towards Alec, and I whispered, “You can go in if you want.”

  Startled, Alec looked up at me, and before he was able to put on a brave face, I saw the sorrow passed over his features. “I’m okay.” He spoke sternly, as if he was trying to prove something to himself.

  My fingers grazed his hand softly. “Alec. You need to do this. To put this behind you. It might help with closure if you spend a few minutes in his room, especially if you are going to be spending time here
. You can’t avoid it forever.”

  I wasn’t expecting the reaction I got from him. He was always so level headed, but this time his look turned menacingly dark, and when he spoke, it was through clenched teeth. “Don’t tell me what I need, Addie. I put this behind me long before you did.”

  “I think it would do you good to go in his room.” I said this again softly and began to open the door.

  He grabbed my hand and yanked the door closed. “Here we go again. You are telling me how to feel! How to deal with my own feelings!” he spat out at me.

  I wanted to be angry, and the old Addie would have risen to the occasion. Instead, I dropped my arms to my side. “You’re right. You do it when you’re ready.” I left him standing in front of Caleb’s doorway and returned to my designs.

  I don’t know if he went into the room or not, but he stayed away for what felt like hours. I had actually begun to think he had left when he was suddenly standing in the doorway, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry, Addie.”

  Looking up at him from my place on the floor, I could see the tear stains on his cheeks, and it took all my willpower not got to him, but I knew from our past experience that he needed to work through this on his own terms.

  “I think I’ll get going. Good luck at the show.” There were no emotions in his voice. He sounded dead inside.