Maresi Read online

  The Rose opened the carved rosewood double doors at the back of the platform. We followed her into a room overflowing with objects.

  The only light came from a single, narrow, north-facing window, but the light was reflected by hundreds of shining trinkets and nearly dazzled me. There were brass and silver candlesticks as tall as me. There were tables piled with dishes, bowls and boxes of every imaginable shape and size, all made of silver and gold. Nearly everything bore the emblem of a five-petaled rose. There were large old chests made of darkened wood, with tarnished fittings and locks, that looked as if they had not been moved for many decades. Cupboards lined the walls, some simple and others richly decorated with embossing and inlays. Some cupboard doors were ajar, revealing shelves stacked with yet more things: jewelry, boxes, cups, bowls, and heaps of objects I could not distinguish.

  The Rose moved effortlessly amongst all the furniture and objects without touching or bumping into anything. Jai and I stood in the doorway, but Ennike entered in wonder while the Rose picked rags and jars out of a little chest in the farthest corner.

  “We do not have to polish everything, do not worry,” she said with a little chuckle. “Only the things we need for the summer rites, like the Blood rites. We need the incense-burners, combs, three ceremonial bowls, three silver candlesticks . . . I will find everything for you.”

  While she was speaking the shadows in the room started to draw together and flock around me. The darkness was closing in, throbbing with potency. I braced myself and raised my hands to fend off the Crone, fend off death. I was not ready! I wanted to scream but no sound came out.

  The Rose stiffened and turned around. She looked at Ennike, saw what she had done, and dropped a jar of polish on the ground. The clang of metal against marble scattered the shadows and the Crone disappeared. My legs gave way at her sudden departure and I sat down on the nearest chest. Jai was the only one who noticed something was wrong with me, and she came and stood by my side. She did not touch me, but her closeness was calming.

  Ennike stood next to one of the tables with a guilty look on her face. She was holding two large combs of tarnished green copper, and all the other objects the Rose had been looking for—incense-burners, bowls, candlesticks—were somehow laid out on the table in front of her.

  “I only wanted to help,” she said apologetically. “Forgive me, Sister, I did not know it was wrong.”

  “How did you know where everything was?” The Rose came over to examine the objects on the table. She picked up one of the bowls and ran her fingers around it as if to check it was real.

  Ennike looked around, confused. “I—I just knew. When you named the objects I sort of saw where they were. My hands found them by themselves.”

  A beaming smile spread across the Rose’s face and I saw tears glitter in her eyes.

  “At last! I knew the Maiden would show me, but I did not know how!” She shook her head and her hair shone in the sunlight. “The First Mother does have a sense of humor.”

  We all looked at her questioningly and she laughed at our confusion. “The Maiden is the Rose, my mistress. The first aspect of the First Mother. Yet she chose to show me my novice through cleaning, a task that actually belongs to the second aspect, the Mother Havva. I would have thought the third aspect also had to be present during a choice like this.”

  “Novice!” said Ennike, shocked. “Me?”

  “You.” The Rose smiled warmly as she walked over and gently took the combs away from her. She took hold of her hands. “You shall be novice to the Rose. Can you not feel it yourself?” The Rose let go of Ennike’s hands and at once became very serious. “Where is the bell we ring during the Blood rites?”

  Without hesitation Ennike pointed at a little box on top of one of the lower cupboards.

  “When is the Maiden at her strongest?”

  “In spring at the awakening of the Spring Star.” I could have given the same answer; it is what Sister O taught us. But then Ennike surprised me. “She is also strongest at the Winter Solstice, when the Mother sleeps. She is strongest when a child is born, when the earth is plowed, and when a girl gets her first moon blood.”

  The Rose nodded. “How many secrets does the Maiden hold?”

  “Nine.”

  “Whisper to me her secret name.”

  Ennike leaned forward with an expression of wonder on her face and whispered something in the Rose’s ear. The Rose smiled and clasped Ennike’s hands again.

  “Do you still doubt it?”

  Ennike shook her head and swallowed. “But the servant to the Rose has to be beautiful.” Her voice was very meek. “That is the way it has always been. I am . . . I am covered in scars.”

  “The Maiden has also felt pain and fear, Ennike my daughter,” the Rose said softly. “It does not make her any less beautiful.”

  When the light from the north window illuminated their faces so close to each other, I saw that they in fact look very similar, woman and girl. The same thick, curly hair, the same warm eyes. But more than that: their faces wear the same expression.

  “You are beautiful, Ennike,” I said. “And you will grow even more beautiful before the first frost comes.”

  I did not know why I said that. The Rose gave me a sharp look. Then she smiled softly, but with a sad look in her eyes.

  “So you are here after all, Crone.”

  It was the day after the Rose had chosen Ennike as her novice, in the early morning when the light is still thin and shadows linger around the mountains and houses, that we were woken by the sound of the Blood bell. We got out of bed in a daze. I chased all the junior novices outside in their nightgowns and with uncovered hair. We were met in the central courtyard by stern-faced sisters in nightgowns rushing across the courtyard from Eve Steps to Dawn Steps. They grabbed hold of the novices by their hands and arms and shoulders and dragged us along with them, pushing, shoving, pulling. We sped barefoot over the cold cobblestones up toward the stairs. The Blood bell clanged incessantly between the houses and I wondered who was ringing it.

  As we climbed higher a brisk morning wind swept in from the sea, lifting our nightgowns, tangling our hair. The sky was pale blue and cloudless. I heard a shout, saw a raised arm, a pointing finger. I turned to look at the sea.

  A ship came sailing near the Teeth. Its white sails swelled with wind and the pointed bow plowed through the water, making mighty splashes against the sides of the vessel.

  The Blood bell quietened.

  I already knew. I knew who it was and I turned to look for Jai in the crowd of white-clad figures jostling their way up the steps. I had to find her before she saw the ship. I caught sight of her blond hair as she came running up with Joem and Dori.

  “Jai!” I called. “Jai!”

  I do not know if she heard, because at that moment Joem caught sight of the ship and pointed. As Jai looked she stopped in her tracks.

  “We are lost.” Her voice was weak, but I heard every word. “We are all lost!”

  She began to sway.

  “She is falling! Catch her!”

  Sister O managed to catch Jai in her sinewy arms just as she fell. Without stopping, she swept the girl up and continued up the steps with long, deer-like strides. For a while it was chaos, no one knew what to do, everybody stared out to sea with frightened murmurs.

  “Hurry!” Mother called. We all looked up and saw her standing there on the highest step, bareheaded like everyone else, her long gray hair like a silver waterfall around her shoulders. “We do not have much time.”

  Everybody set off at once, climbing the steps in haste, into Hearth House where Sister Ers was holding the doors open. I ran in at the same time as Mother.

  “I think I have everything,” I heard Sister Ers say quietly to Mother as we passed. “Some are old, how was I to know . . .” Mother gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and continued into the hall.

  I saw Joem rush past everyone and fall to her knees by the Hearth, where she quickly brought th
e embers to life. We positioned ourselves around the table, alternating sisters and novices. Someone went and opened all the windows wide. I stood where I could keep my eye on the Teeth and soon I saw the ship emerge from behind the farthest rock. I could not tear my eyes away from the white, foaming water. The sun was beginning to rise on the other side of the mountains, and, as the world lit up with its first rays, I saw something gleam on the ship.

  Exposed weapons.

  I had never been inside Hearth House with the sisters before. Sister Mareane was standing next to me, but then she moved to make space as Sister O herded Jai in next to me and rushed away. Jai had come to her senses but was still so pale I feared she might faint again. She was not shaking. She was completely still, like a mouse face to face with a hungry cat, hoping against hope that the cat will lose interest and leave it alone.

  Sister Ers, Joem, and Cissil rushed in carrying a brass dish. The dish was laid with dark-green leaves, almonds, and candied rose petals.

  “Take and eat,” they said as they negotiated their way between tables and shoulders. “One of each. Take. Eat. Hurry.”

  I reached to take some for myself but Jai did not move a muscle so I took some for her also. I helped her put an almond to her lips and ate one myself. It tasted like earth and salt. The candied rose petal was sour and sweet at the same time.

  Mother walked past, calm and dignified, her hair flowing in the breeze from the open windows. In her hands she held a golden chalice.

  “Eat, my daughters. Then when you have eaten, drink,” said Mother. “Then when you have drunk, tame your hair. Plait and braid, weave and bind. Do not let a single strand escape.”

  I poked one of the strange leaves between Jai’s passive lips, then stuck one in my own mouth and chewed. The bitter taste filled me, from mouth to breast, from womb to sole. It tasted of sorrow and moonlight.

  A draft came scurrying across the floor and chilled my ankles. I stopped chewing.

  The breath of the Crone. Her realm was close again. A hush fell around me; the only sounds were the wind and the women’s quiet chewing. Was that the voice of the Crone I could hear whispering in the sails of the approaching ship? Was she saying my name? I could not swallow the leaf in my mouth. I could not move. If I moved she would find me.

  Mother had come round to us and held the chalice in front of my mouth. The red wine washed down the leaf and the fear. The thick wine was sweet like honey and salty like blood.

  Everyone around me had their hands in their hair, twisting, braiding, and binding with skilled, nimble fingers. Sister Loeni and Sister Nummel rushed between the benches and tables to hand out bands to tie it up with. I did not want to stand still and braid. Now that the wine had dispelled my paralysis, all I wanted to do was run. Run away from the ship, from the Crone, run up into the mountains and hide. My hands trembled as I started to braid.

  The movement of my fingers through my hair calmed me. I had not braided my own hair since I lived at home, but my hands remembered how to do it. They twisted and lifted and tightened and twisted again. A calmness flowed through my body and I grew still and strong.

  The wind coming through the windows began to settle.

  Sister Mareane and I helped to bind Jai’s hair. As the plaits formed I could feel her relax, if only a little bit. It was a calm one could not resist.

  Jai was the last one to have her hair bound. When we finished the wind died down completely. Everyone stood and looked out of the window and I strained to get a better view.

  The sea was still and shining like a mirror. The surface was completely calm, without the slightest ripple. The sun had risen over the horizon but was still behind the mountains. The Abbey buildings cast long, sharp shadows. The ship lay between the Teeth and the harbor with slack sails and water no longer frothed around the bow. My heart did a little leap of joy in my chest. All the sisters and novices were holding their breath.

  Then there were movements on the ship. I could just about make out fair-haired men in black clothes. The shining weapons disappeared. Long contraptions came sliding out from holes along the sides of the ship.

  Oars.

  “To the Temple of the Rose,” cried Mother in a piercing voice. “Quick.”

  We rushed out of Hearth House without a word. Braids whipped soft cheeks, bare feet drummed on smooth stone. We ran. I held Jai’s hand tightly in mine. Down Dawn Steps, over the central courtyard and up Eve Steps. We could see the ship the whole time. Edging ever closer. It was coming more slowly than before, but it was coming.

  The Rose threw open the Temple doors and we hurried in. The colored glass did not let much of the sparse morning light into the Temple and it was almost completely dark inside. I saw two figures dressed in white move swiftly up the stairs to the platform and disappear behind the double rosewood doors. Ennike and the Rose.

  We stood in the colonnade and waited.

  We could not see the sea from there. We did not know where the ship was. Jai was still holding on tightly to my hand. I was terrified. I thought about what the men would do to Jai—to all of us. I thought about the outer wall and whether it was high enough. How long could it keep the men out? My mouth could still taste the bitterness of the leaf, the sweetness of the rose petal, the earthiness of the almond.

  The Rose and Ennike appeared up on the platform. It was strange to see them without their hair flowing over their shoulders. They held out two long silver candlesticks and lit two fat blood-red candles. The flames did little to illuminate the Temple, but they made shadows dance in the pale dawn light. The Rose and Ennike disappeared through the doors and came out again bearing something shiny in their hands.

  “Let down your hair!” screamed the Rose in a new voice, a voice that cut through the silence like a knife. Ennike echoed. “Let down your hair!” Ennike’s voice was not her own either and it pierced me like a sword.

  Now I could see what they were holding. It was the copper combs we had seen the day before.

  We started to undo all the braids: fair and dark, red and silver.

  A gust of wind swept in through the open doors.

  Up on the platform the Rose and her novice loosened their hair with quick, expert movements. Then they picked up their combs and stuck them deep into their flowing hair.

  A strong wind lashed at the Temple and made the rose windows rattle. The Rose let out a triumphant howl and pulled the comb through her hair with a long stroke.

  “Awake, wind!” she called. “Come, storm!”

  She flung her comb across the hall. I saw Sister O catch it and pull it through her hair. Another angry wind thrashed the roof of the Temple.

  I undid my final braid. Small sparks flew from my hair when it was finally released. I quickly loosened Jai’s braids. Her hair crackled and hissed. Combs were flying across the hall and diving into hair, making it spark and fly. The Rose and Ennike pulled their fingers through their curls and tossed their heads with loud, shrill laughter. A comb landed in my hand and I pulled it through Jai’s hair first and then through mine.

  The wind howled and battered furiously against the walls, ceiling, and windows, until the great marble doors flung open and crashed against the wall. The Temple was full of white-clad women stomping, swaying, and writhing, and the faster we whipped our hair, the more the wind howled. I let go of Jai and fought my way toward the door. I had to see, I had to know.

  I barely recognized the world outside.

  The sky was black with storm clouds. All light had disappeared. The air was full of leaves, branches, and detritus whipped up in the angry wind. I could not see the Abbey bay from the door because Sister House was in the way, so I fought against the wind and made my way across the Temple Yard. The storm ripped and tore through my hair, and as it did so it seemed to grow more powerful still. My hair thrashed my face and eyes, blinding me. The flicks stung like whips from a thin leather strap.

  It took a while to reach Eve Steps and get a clear view of the ocean. When I eventually caught s
ight of it, it was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

  Waves higher than the Temple itself crashed against the shore. Water and foam filled the air. If the Abbey had been lower down by the beach we would have been destroyed a long time ago. The pier and the little storehouse next to it were washed away. The ocean was wiping out everything in its path.

  There was no trace of the ship.

  It took all day for the storm to die down. We waited out the worst of it inside the Temple, then took shelter in Sister House, where the sisters tucked the youngest novices up in their own beds and the rest of us sat by the windows and watched as the ocean reshaped the entire coastline.

  As evening drew near, it finally became calm enough for us to risk going outside and down Eve Steps. Sister Ers and her novices rushed off to prepare the evening meal, while Sister Kotke took the rest of the novices to Body’s Spring. The hot water was deeply soothing and we were allowed to stay in the bathing pool for as long as we wanted. Instead of going into the cold bath afterward, we got dressed in the clothes that Sister Nummel brought us from Novice House. All the other sisters had hastened to see what damage had been done by the storm, and probably also to perform rituals and ceremonies I knew nothing about. Ennike was not with us. She had stayed in the Temple with the Rose.

  Jai was unresponsive through it all. She did not speak and only moved if I pushed or pulled her along with me. I had to dry her hair and help her get dressed. As I was pulling her toward Dawn Steps on our way to Hearth House to eat, she stopped in the middle of the central courtyard and looked in the direction of the sea. We could not actually see it over the wall from where we stood, but we could hear the surf sputter and hiss against the rocks on the beach. The wind was still brisk and cold.

  “They are still here,” she whispered. I had to lean forward to hear her words before the wind snapped them up. “I can feel it. They are out there somewhere. He’ll never give up, Maresi. Honor and pride are all he has. Without them he is nothing. He will do anything to get me back, and to punish me.”