Shame Read online

  table of contents

  Back Cover

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  First look at Shameless

  Shameless Ch 1

  Shameless Ch 2

  Shameless Ch 3

  About the Authors

  BACK COVER

  Five years ago my brother was killed right in front of me and I was forced to make a decision that has haunted me ever since. I lost one protector but I gained another. Noah has always taken care of me.

  Then I find out that he’s keeping secrets.

  **Prequel to the Shameless series

  chapter 1

  Lucia DeMarco had to resist the urge to roll down the window and stick her head out to enjoy the summer breeze. After a day of listening to her grandmother’s lectures, she’d been rescued by her favorite person in the world. Her big brother, Rafe.

  She glanced over at him in the driver’s seat. As usual, he looked gloomy and serious but when he noticed her looking, he smiled. She was the only person besides their Nonna that he smiled at, something her best friend JJ was constantly trying to change.

  Lucia frowned at the thought. It was so gross that her friends all thought her brother was hot but she couldn’t exactly disagree. Rafe was gorgeous and Nonna DeMarco was always saying he looked just like their father, who had been Nonna’s only child. Lucia didn’t really remember her parents that well anymore since she’d been so young when they died but it must be true since all the pictures Nonna had shown her looked like faded pictures of Rafe.

  As if he could hear her thinking about him, Rafe reached over and tugged on the end of her ponytail.

  “Ready to have fun, Lulu?”

  “Yes! I can’t wait. I’m going to eat funnel cake until my stomach explodes.”

  “Sounds gross. But whatever you want.”

  Lucia grinned at the thought of having an entire funnel cake to herself. Whenever she went with Nonna, she had to share it but Rafe always let her eat the whole thing.

  “How long do we have?”

  “All day. I took the whole day off.” Rafe grinned at her squeals of excitement. “I guess that was the right move.”

  When they got closer, Lucia pulled her lip gloss out of her small purse and pulled down the mirror in the visor. She wasn’t allowed to wear makeup at home, Nonna would have a fit, but JJ had given her the lip gloss the last time she’d slept over. It was the perfect petal pink color and made her gray eyes stand out against her dark, curly hair. It made her look slightly older too which was awesome. She hated being the youngest one of her friends. JJ was sixteen already and actually needed her bra. Lucia could only hope that the little peach pits on her chest weren’t finished growing yet.

  “What are you doing? You don’t need that crap.” Rafe pushed the visor back up before she’d finished slicking the gloss over her lips.

  “Hey! I wasn’t done.”

  “Where did you even get that? Does Nonna know you’re sneaking makeup on as soon as you leave the house?”

  Lucia raised an eyebrow. “Does Nonna know that you have a pair of some girl’s panties hidden under your mattress?”

  Rafe swore softly. “You are way too nosy for your own good, squirt.”

  “I’m observant. You can’t hide from me, Rafael DeMarco. I know you better than anyone.”

  He pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You know everything that matters. And you don’t need that crap. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

  “You have to say that. You’re my brother.” She caught herself pouting and tried to train her features into the nonchalant, sophisticated expression that the older girls in her school always wore.

  Stefani Waters, the most popular girl in school, wouldn’t be caught dead pouting like a little kid.

  They bickered all the way from the parking lot up to the admission booth. Then she gave up on being cool and sophisticated. Lucia had always loved Coney Island. Since their parents died, they hadn’t had much money for things like going out to eat or to the movies. But somehow, Rafe used to always find a way to bring her and Nonna to Coney Island. It had been their special time together. As the years passed and she got older, they’d stopped coming. Rafe was so busy that it was hard to find time. He was always working extra shifts for the security company he owned with his friend, Noah.

  After he got their tickets, Lucia gave Rafe a quick hug, ignoring his curious look. Then he stuck out his tongue and she giggled. He was so serious most of the time but when he was with her, she saw a side of him she suspected he never showed anyone else. Her brother could be something of a goofball when he didn’t think anyone else was watching.

  “Okay, what do you want to do first?”

  Lucia made a face. “Duh, I want to ride the Cyclone.”

  Rafe blew out a breath. It was always funny to her that her badass older brother was kind of a wimp when it came to roller coasters. “Okay, I guess it’s better to do that before the funnel cake.”

  Lucia took his hand and pulled him along. “Oh, I’m riding it again after I have funnel cake, too.”

  “Brat. You just want to make me puke again.”

  She laughed but figured maybe she’d give him a break and not ask to ride it again after they ate. Rafe was ten years older than she was and often told her that “old people” couldn’t do the same things they used to. Lucia was pretty sure that was crap because Rafe seemed almost superhuman sometimes and was in even better shape than his business partner. Noah was only five years older than she was but seemed much older at times. There was something … hard about him. Something that made her think he’d been through terrible things.

  There were times when Nonna would hug him or touch his shoulder and he would stiffen like he wasn’t sure what to do with human contact. Although Lucia had to admit that he didn’t seem to mind when she hugged him. Warmth spread through her at the thought and she quickly glanced over at Rafe, worried he could hear her thoughts. She wouldn’t put it past him to have somehow found a way to read her mind.

  He wouldn’t take kindly to her thinking about Noah that way. Any boy that way, actually. Even though she’d grown up without a father technically, it didn’t feel like it. Rafe was more overprotective than any of her friend’s fathers for sure.

  Over the next hour, Lucia dragged Rafe on ride after ride, while her brother turned several shades of green. Finally her stomach started growling so she decided it was time to give him a break.

  “God, it just gets worse every time.”

  Lucia’s heart sped up when she saw him bending at the knees. She hadn’t actually thought he was that sick. He always exaggerated a little but this time he looked really bad.

  “Oh no, Rafe. I didn’t think you were really sick.”

  He stood up and that was when she saw he was laughing. “Gotcha, squirt. You deserved to feel guilty after you made me ride that damn Cyclone three times in a row.”

  Lucia slapped his arm. “You jerk. I was really worried. I thought you were having a heart attack or something!”

  When he saw her face, Rafe sobered slightly. After losing their parents, they didn’t generally joke around about things like this. They both knew all too well that being sick or injured was no laughing matter.

  “Hey, I’m fine. I was just kidding around. I will always be around to look after you. But if the impossible happened, I know Noah would take care of you and Nonna for me.”

  Lucia glanced at him. “Yeah, of course he would. He’s your best friend.”

  “He’s more than that. He’s family now.”

  Lucia thought about it and was suddenly overcome with a cold chill. “Rafe? Don’t let anything happen to you, okay? We need you.”


  He hugged her. “Nothing is happening to me, Lulu. Except I’m about to get sick from eating too much junk food.” He pointed at the funnel cake vendor. “You ready for this?”

  “To stuff my face? Yes!” Lucia grabbed the money he held out and ran to get two plates of the sugary treat.

  chapter 2

  Rafe grinned at his sister. She had a dusting of sugar on her nose, on her chin, and also her cheeks. And well, her T-shirt was pretty much covered in funnel cake powdered sugar. But, man, that smile. She looked so happy. When was the last time he'd seen her that happy?

  "You're staring at me again," Lucia said with a laugh.

  "What, I can't smile at my little sister now?"

  She shook her head, sending her curls into wild disarray. Their grandmother preferred her to wear her hair straightened, but Rafe, he liked her like this. Wild and carefree. She hadn't had enough of carefree in her life. And that's all he wanted to give her.

  She scratched the end of her nose with the back of her hand, only adding more sugar to the picture, and he grinned.

  She studied him with shrewd, narrowed eyes. "I'm covered in sugar, aren't I?"

  He laughed. "Yep. From head to toe. I have to tell you though, I love the look."

  "Rafe, you're supposed to tell me these things. Aren’t big brothers supposed to look out for their little sisters?"

  "Yes. But then brothers are also meant to torment their little sisters. It keeps the universe balanced."

  He sat back in his squeaky metal chair and tossed his own fork down. He loved fried dough as much as anyone and rarely indulged. But even he had a limit. Two funnel cakes were probably more than anyone should eat in one sitting. "Why don’t you head to the bathroom to wash up then I'll take you on the Dragonfly Wheel?"

  Her grin spread so wide over her face and he couldn't help but smile at her. God, he loved her. After their parents died, he’d known it was his job to protect her. And so far, he hoped he’d done a good job of that. Right now though, all he cared about was making her happy. She rolled her eyes at him and ran for the bathroom.

  He used the moment to survey their surroundings. It was habit now. The constantly looking over his shoulder. Always looking for things to jump out at him.

  The big guy on his left, he was 6'4" tall and about 250 pounds. Most people would see him as a big guy that probably wasn’t very fast, but from the way he moved, Rafe had an understanding that he knew how to carry himself. He was probably former military.

  Unlike the show off, muscle-bound workout fiend who was quibbling with his girlfriend over how many calories were in a smoothie. That guy looked the part: lean, mean, fighting machine. Well-defined muscles. Most would assume he was quick on his feet, but the way he moved told Rafe it was all for show. The woman at his 8 o'clock, he'd seen her already today. She’d been pickpocketing.

  And she was pretty good too. Keeping to the crowd, blending in; he was pretty sure she’d have a good haul today. Given the work he did, he felt the immediate need and twinge to solve the problem. Stand up for justice and all that, but not today. Today, he was having a day off. Spending the day with his sister. It was still another week or so before her birthday, and he'd be on assignment then.

  He had to remember to thank Noah for this idea. It had been the perfect birthday gift. The moment they'd arrived, Lucia had sported a permanent grin plastered on her face.

  The kid knew what he was talking about. For months, Rafe had struggled with what to get her for her birthday. At first, he’d wanted to bring her something from one of the countries he traveled to, but he’d known that would be a mistake.

  Anything that could leave a trail back to him, who he really was, was a bad call. And seeing as Rafe DeMarco had never been to Peru, South Africa, Italy, or Norway, any of the gifts he had in mind would have been a problem. But the kid came in for the win. A day at Coney Island, just the two of them. Just what she wanted.

  While he waited for his sister, his phone rang. When he reached to answer it, it went silent. A ball of ice froze his gut. There was another short ring. And he had an idea who was calling. No, fuck no. Not today. Another burst of short rings, and he knew exactly who was calling. His boss. Or at least one of them.

  When the phone rang properly three minutes later, he answered immediately. "Orion, I thought we talked about this. This is my day off."

  "I know. I just wanted to let you know we plan on celebrating the Del Tino mission tonight. In case you want to be there. I’m sending in a man tonight. You are the reason this is coming to fruition after all."

  Rafe sat up straight. The fucking Del Tino job? They were going through with it? Fuck. He had to warn their man on the inside. But was there time for that?

  "I thought we agreed it was too risky. And that it’s certainly not a one-man job."

  Orion’s laugh was cold. "Seriously, you worry like some old Italian grandma. Besides, I had a volunteer. I was really fucking surprised by that too, as it’s likely a suicide mission. Not that he knows that. We found an in, with the daughter. Our lucky damn day."

  What the fuck? Whoever Orion was sending in likely had no idea what he was getting himself into. The shit storm that was waiting for him. But worse, Rafe was terrified what that would mean for the undercover FBI agent.

  "I thought I was senior. I thought my vote counted for something."

  There was a second of silence, and Rafe wondered if he’d gone too far. Then again, right now, he was fucking desperate. He needed to call it off. But he knew better than to say that. There was a reason agents normally worked in pairs. If one missed, or suddenly had cold feet, the other one was a built-in redundancy. It also increased your chances of survival if someone had your back. If they were sending a solo agent it meant Orion didn't anticipate any survivors. Fuck.

  “Is there a problem?”

  "No," he said as calmly as possible. "I'll be there for the party. Someone popping their solo cherry. Should be grand." His gut curled in on itself.

  "Fantastic. Tonight. O'Malley's bar. 9 o'clock. See you there, Libra."

  Rafe hung up with Orion as he spotted Lucia coming out of the bathroom. One look at his face and her happy smile evaporated.

  "What's wrong? Is it Nonna?"

  Pain sliced through his heart. He hated that fear was her automatic response. That she was waiting for the sudden death of their grandmother. But that's how things had always been since the sudden death of their parents. She'd only been six.

  Just old enough to remember them properly. And young enough to need them desperately. From that moment forward, she really had not trusted that something bad wasn't just around the corner.

  "No. Nonna’s fine. And I'm sorry about this, but we have to go."

  She frowned. "Okay, where are we going?"

  And this was the problem. For the last several years, he'd kept what he actually did for a living a secret. His sister and his grandmother thought he owned a security firm. Besides, it wasn’t like there was an easy way to tell your family you were a double agent, working for the government and also working undercover for a shadow agency. Hallmark didn’t make cards for that. He tugged her hand through the crowds as quickly as he could.

  She had to run to keep up. "Rafe, slow down."

  But he didn't slow the pace. Not until they reached his car and he yanked open the passenger door for her. "Sit. Seatbelt." And then he slammed the door shut. Running around the other side of the car, he just prayed he wouldn’t be too late.

  He pulled his second phone out of the side panel of his car and tapped a quick text out to Sanders, their man on the inside posing as one of the Del Tino Lieutenants.

  They're sending in an agent solo. Watch your back.

  And then he turned on the ignition and drove like the devil was chasing him.

  As he drove, headed towards the Hamptons, his sister sat stiff and quiet beside him, tension cascading over her body. In his Charger, the drive would still take about two hours, which would land him there just in
the nick of time, if he was careful. The hit was designated to take place at 4:00 p.m. during a party Papa Del Tino was having for his daughter. At least, that had been the original plan. Anything outside of that, he didn't know. He just prayed he would get there in time.

  They were silent in the car as he drove like a madman over the Southern State Parkway. When they finally reached the Hamptons, he spoke to his sister in low, hushed tones.

  "Lucia, I am so sorry about this. But I need to tell you a few things, and I need you to listen carefully and follow my directions exactly. I'm sorry about today. I am. But right now, I have to stop something bad from happening. I need you to stay in the car. Crouch down low; do not let anyone see you."

  Her eyes were wide and unblinking as she nodded.

  "If anything goes wrong, you need to slide over to the driver’s seat throw the car into gear, and drive. As fast and as far away from here as you can, do you understand?"

  He pulled the car over just down the street from the mansion that was his quarry. He'd been here enough scoping out the place to know exactly where to park. He knew all the ins and outs of this place and how not to be seen. His sister didn't have the benefit of that training.

  "Rafe, what's going on? What's happening? I don't understand."

  "I wish I could tell you. I really do. Right now, I need to keep someone safe. And I need you to listen to my directions so that you stay safe. Do you understand?"

  She nodded again.

  "Good." He leaned across her for the glove compartment and opened it. He handed her the gun that was inside. "Okay, if anyone that isn't clearly a cop walks up to this car, tries to scope it out, tries to make you roll down the window to talk to them, shoot first, ask questions later. Do you understand?"

  "No. I do not understand. What is going on? Why do you have a gun?"

  "Lucia, I'm out of time. I need to know you can do this if something goes wrong. I will try and explain when I get back. Can you handle this?"