Gloria Rising: A Story of Hope and Survival In Dark Evil Places Read online

  Gloria Rising

  Gloria Rising

  A Story of Hope and Survival In Dark Evil Places

  Linden Morningstar & Beatrice Hudson

  ALSO BY LINDEN MORNINGSTAR

  The Starlight Prophecy

  Alien Curse or Blessing

  ISBN-13: 9780692498651 (Linden Morningstar)

  ISBN-10: 0692498656

  Gloria Rising

  Text copyright © 2015 Linden Morningstar & Beatrice Hudson

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction, Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. The text and dialogue is the product of the authors’ imagination and creativity, and should not be construed as real.

  www.gloriarising.com

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  For my beloved Bea, my mentor, confidant, inspiration, and precious friend. I dedicate this work of infinite wonder and love to you. Our grand effort together made the Angels sing and you were one of them. I love you, my friend.

  And with heartfelt thanks and gratitude to Nancy for her professional proofreading.

  CONTENTS

  Manuscript Postscript

  Prologue

  Personal History

  Inside Gloria B’s Psyche

  Part One

  The Wounded Child

  Part Two

  Beyond Gloria’s Nightmares Channeled Messages from the Guardian

  Recorded Messages from the Guardian

  Part Three

  The Wounded Child

  The End

  About The Author

  “Something strange happens about dreams that Gloria has – the real world seems to get mixed up into the dreams and the dreams seem all the more real – with part of your mind you’re aware of what’s going on around you, but part of your mind is drifting and things start to get mixed up. What I’m trying to say is that the human mind has developed a safety valve and dreaming is really the unconscious mind (me in this case) clearing up the debris it has otherwise been unable to cope with on the conscious level – if this is so, then tonight’s dreams became like “a horror show” in which Gloria and I were literally imprisoned.”

  Gloria’s Helper

  “I can’t consider you a thief or a likely candidate for prison or a nervous breakdown Gloria. I sense a real strength in you more strength than you know is there – you’ve got internal reserves that ability to cope and to keep coping. Now remember don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll help.”

  Pyramid Lady

  “For now, I will say that God endowed humans with a great many powers and forces, and some of the creative, constructive powers can only be passed on through channels of others.”

  The Guardian

  Gloria Rising

  MANUSCRIPT POSTSCRIPT

  I struggled to keep my writing hand steady. It trembled as if detached from my body. I frantically scribbled down this note after finishing Gloria’s manuscript out of fear of a terrifying premonition that I would not awaken to see the dawn. This whole experience has been as if I had awoken from a nightmare, but it wasn’t my nightmare—it was real—too real to have imagined, let alone lived through and survived. I am Dr. Adam Jaxon, and if by chance you are reading this, I am already dead.

  I was a renowned and distinguished hypnotherapist and treated thousands of people in my lifetime, but Gloria B’s electrifying hypnotherapy captivated and stunned me. Unfortunately, I was reluctant to share her terrifying and heart-wrenching story for fear no one would believe the otherworldly powers that literally came to guide and help me heal her. I feared my old associates would think I had gone senile or worse mad.

  Now I feel ashamed for being such a coward, for allowing myself to be controlled by the homogenized expectations of my profession and being paralyzed by irrational fears that I would be scorned and rejected, if I spoke my mind. I now feel shame and guilt that my arrogance and fear got the best of me and nearly bankrupted my morals and destroyed me.

  After all Gloria and I had been through, I could not live with the thought that, in the end, I had betrayed her trust and let her down. But thanks to her endearing memory and loving spirit, I came to my senses while gazing at my image in a mirror. I flew into a rage and smashed the pathetic image with my wine glass into a million pieces; blood trickled down my wrist, but I didn’t care. I shouted, “To hell with my ego and reputation,” over and over again, until my voice grew too hoarse to scream anymore.

  I yielded to my guilty conscience to write her story that I had promised her. Besides, my health was failing, and Gloria’s story was too momentous and meaningful to be forgotten and buried in my cold grave. So I feverishly wrote over the past year, and finally finished the manuscript this very night—just days before my 100th birthday.

  But alas, this morning, I sensed a chilling premonition that I would not be here to celebrate it. So I left the precious manuscript, and this postscript, on my oak writing desk with a poignant note and scrupulous instructions for its publication, for my daughter to find. It would be my last fond gesture and chance to share my lifeworks with her, albeit, beyond the grave.

  I know if I died tonight, I would die a happy man at peace with myself knowing Gloria’s story would finally be told—a mysterious and astonishing story that defies the timeworn precepts of modern psychology and psychiatry—where insanity, genius, the metaphysical, and the mystery of life come together to beguile and confound our contemporary understanding of the mind and its limitless powers to heal.

  Dr. Adam Jaxon

  PROLOGUE

  Throughout this story, I have tried to stick to the facts, even when the facts have been very strange and unsettling. Regrettably, many years have passed since the conclusion of Gloria B’s therapy; and I am afraid my memory fails me; so I have been forced to rely on Gloria’s daily case notes, my observations, and her automatic writings to do justice to her story of the unspeakable evil and terrifying violence she survived. I take full responsibility for what I have written.

  I have prudently documented her ambitious hypnotherapy while minimizing my analyses, insights, and commentary about Gloria’s automatic letters and dream symbolism, thus allowing the inquisitive mind a more absorbing and intriguing experience without my unwanted intrusion. That would give you a greater appreciation and understanding of the deep undercurrents and subtleties of Gloria’s multidimensional mind and the remarkable healing she underwent. Simply put, this book is about Gloria.

  I encourage you to study Gloria’s dream symbols to discern their deeper meaning and for clues about her demonic perpetrator. Feel free to imagine what it was like sitting in my tufted executive chair gazing hypnotically into Gloria’s eyes while reading her automatic letters, and thinking, how in the hell am I going to get her out of this mess?

  I utilized deep trance states to help Gloria gain access to her unconscious mind’s healing resources and, quite by accident or perhaps by divine design, I made contact with an otherworldly being that helped protect and heal Gloria and mysteriously guided me. I have included illuminating excerpts of those strange encounters and recorded messages with the voice from beyond that Gloria unconsciously channeled during our hypnotic sessions.

  Gloria
’s automatic letters tell her story far better than I ever could, while unraveling the monstrous account of protracted and repeated abuse and traumatic events she suffered. They opened a closed door to explore the complex inner world of her wounded child and broken mind.

  Her unconscious mind, “Gloria’s Helper,” committed herself to liberate Gloria from her paralyzing fear and crippling emotional pain which she had suffered at the brutal hands of an unknown, sadistic and diabolical mind—a vile, complex and cunning person who was an individual of interest in the unsolved Tahoe City serial killings.

  I let Gloria tell her story through her automatic letters without unnecessary narration, commentary, or embellishment. I selected Gloria’s automatic letters over the “standard case presentation” of daily excerpts of our hypnotic sessions since that would have involved several large volumes, which far exceeded the scope of this book.

  More notable, Gloria’s letters open doors of perception that few humans are aware of—let alone allowed to cross through. They take you on an epic journey into the depths of a mind under siege and beyond to mysteries that are baffling and unforgettable.

  In our hypnotic sessions, I would read, to myself, the sealed letters that Gloria brought me and then hypnotize her so that Gloria’s Helper (her unconscious) and I could have private chats. We could discuss Gloria’s condition and the emerging nightmares she wrote about that released pent up emotions and identified the psychological and emotional wounds that paralyzed and disturbed her. We would work together to find the truth about the senseless violence she experienced and put a face on the fiend.

  Other than my initial and key post-hypnotic suggestion to automatically write down her nightmares, which began her hypnotic dream therapy, I refrained from giving Gloria direct hypnotic suggestions unless it was necessary. I preferred to let our casual conversations elicit healing associations that encouraged her to explore and expand her awareness and insight into what she was experiencing, so she could discover her own answers and solutions to empower her. Great upheavals, impasses, and setbacks would test our combined endurance, resources, and resolve and would test my blind faith in Gloria’s ability to heal.

  To have done otherwise—to have not believed in Gloria—would have done her great harm. I must admit even the fact I was a seasoned psychologist and former U.S. Army Major in the Korean War had not quite prepared me for Gloria. Nevertheless, a broad smile spread across my face. Despite the fact I had a tiger by the tail, I would do my best to make her whole. No, even my best couldn’t erase the severe damage to her mind; my best could only give Gloria a second chance at life, a life she deserved.

  Gloria, with my unwavering support, reassurance, and commitment, progressively recalled traumatic incidents and traumatic emotions long forgotten and buried in protective dissociation and amnesia. Fragments and glimpses of a savage and haunted childhood begin to surface in her therapeutic nightmares and automatic letters to me. Nightmares filled with horrendous, unspeakable terror and a faceless monster, she called the “Other” that came to life as if Frankenstein to destroy the child.

  Gloria’s Helper was faced with a punishing and cruel psychological puzzle of a shattered mind that she needed to solve, so she could face the shocking truth about Gloria’s childhood. Gloria’s life story demonstrated the vast power of the mind to heal itself and the psychological value and importance of amnesia, dissociation, forgetting, and remembering in order to survive and heal from terrifying childhood abuse.

  I steadfastly believe that Gloria’s automatic writings, empowering voice, and epic hero’s journey will inspire you, while stoking your imagination and expanding your consciousness beyond everyday reality to recognize a greater consciousness and truth that links the spiritual and physical worlds and brings you closer to your true self.

  PERSONAL HISTORY

  Gloria was born into a nightmare, while everyone around her pretended to be normal; so she pretended too. To do otherwise would have destroyed her psychologically or meant certain death, and she wanted to live. Why? She could not say, though the primordial and instinctive need to survive drove her on despite overwhelming forces against her.

  Funny, looking back, I first met Gloria when I was at the end of an illustrious career; and I, a young 55 years old, while she was my senior at 60—a widow and somewhat secluded. Her husband of 45 years had recently died of a heart attack. Unfortunately, they chose not to have children. So Gloria was left alone, except for her close friends who naturally turned to her with their worries or fears, because she was a good listener and had a compassionate shoulder to cry on. On the surface, she appeared as normal as you or me, until her husband’s unexpected death when growing isolation opened old and forgotten wounds and deep dark secrets.

  She was the youngest of five children and her mother was forty years old when she had Gloria. At that time all her brothers and sisters were grown and had moved on with their lives. Gloria, at the age of seven, came down with contagious scarlet fever and was left alone, at home, under quarantine for several days. Her parents had fled because of their own poor health. Allegedly, someone was to come the next morning to provide care for Gloria; but for some unknown reason they never arrived, leaving her deathly ill and to fend for herself. There remain many other unanswered questions and mysteries about the whereabouts of her parents, close relatives, and caretakers throughout her abusive childhood.

  She was a very bright child and excellent student who earned many academic awards during her first eight years of school. Unfortunately, Gloria’s Sweet 16 birthday was followed by disaster. Due to hard financial times and illness, her parents sent her to a Sister of Charity’s orphanage, because they could not care for her. Her stay at the orphanage was difficult, but she adapted and wanted to become a nun. But, before she took her vows at 20 years old, she had a change of heart and returned home.

  She badly wanted to go to college, but her mother insisted she go to work to help support the family. Still, Gloria was an avid reader with a very high IQ and had taken the Mensa test on a whim—she was 22 at the time—and was shocked she had passed to become a member. However, she would never fulfill her true intellectual potential or aspirations due to circumstances beyond her control.

  A few years later she met her husband and, after a whirlwind romance, married him. Though they loved each other, the marriage was rocky due to arguments over money, Gloria’s habit of abusing sleeping pills, and her husband’s bouts of depression. Nonetheless, she was fond of saying that, despite their disagreements and threats of divorce, he always left a love note in her morning paper.

  Those tender memories had faded, and she long suffered as the caretaker for her parent’s slow decline and deaths and her husband’s unbearable depressions. This left her little time for herself—let alone time to remember her nightmarish past. After her husband’s death, she picked up the habit of reaching for a sleeping pill to calm her agitated and insomniac mind and to put her to sleep.

  Furthermore, Gloria had a history of heart attacks, possibly related to her childhood scarlet fever. She had her first heart attack at the age of 56. Her cardiologist warned her that she would be dead in six months if she didn’t have open heart surgery. She chose not to, feeling it was too risky. Despite several more heart attacks during her lifetime, Gloria beat all the odds and lived to a graceful 95 years old.

  INSIDE GLORIA B’S PSYCHE

  Let me begin by being honest about my personal bias. I dislike, no abhor, psychiatric jargon and diagnoses, along with long-winded case histories presented in graduate schools or grand rounds of a mental hospital. They sound solicitous and scientific, and sometimes unintentionally the diagnoses and presentation take the human out of the human being. These diagnoses tend to bias the doctor’s perception and attitude, let alone the students’, towards the person discussed, reducing him or her to an commonplace pathology—no longer a living, breathing person but an ill patient requiring treatment.

  Moreover, in Gloria’s case, she had rece
ived multiple and different diagnoses by trained mental health professionals who could not agree on her diagnosis. Gloria appeared like a living, walking “Rorschach” ink blot test that had confounded them as they tried, in vain, to project their well-meaning interpretations on her. However, the medical model of psychiatry, I know, has value and its place in treating the actual imbalances in brain chemistry; and such was the case with Gloria whose fleeting psychotic episodes were treated effectively with small doses of Zyprexa, while the core of her psychological suffering had yet to be exposed. If her treatment had ended there, she would have only been remembered as a case number or, worse, ended up a psychiatric casualty.

  I being a card-carrying pragmatist chose an empirical hypnotic approach—sometimes flying by the seat of my pants—yet always utilizing what Gloria offered me, her traumatic experiences, intelligence, awareness, insights, and yes, her troubling symptoms to help heal her. My only theory was that her symptoms were the spearhead of an underlying corrective-emotional experience struggling to surface which terrified Gloria, yet was the key to her recovery and healing. Here the art, skill, and understanding of the complexity of healing would take precedence over diagnoses, medicine, and scientific approaches to behavior change. A colleague chided me about my approach saying, “I had tossed caution to the wind.” But on thoughtful consideration, I could not help but chuckle at his outrageous warning.

  By the time Gloria was referred to me, she had been diagnosed as suffering from a rogue’s gallery of major mental illnesses including Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Atypical Psychosis, and Paranoid Psychosis. It’s a wonder she hadn’t wound up lost on some back ward of a state hospital doing the Thorazine shuffle.

  An old chum of mine just happened to be Gloria’s family physician and referred her to me saying Gloria had difficulty falling and staying asleep due to recurrent nightmares. She had reported what sounded like visual and auditory hallucinations about a girl upstairs who she thought was trying to scare and hurt her. He said she was exhibiting other strange behaviors, yelling at the upstairs neighbor and wandering around the neighborhood in the middle of the night, disoriented to her surroundings; and she had recently been found in a confused state collapsed on a pile of snow just outside her apartment. He said she was abusing her sleeping pills and, though a lovely lady, she was a handful and wished me good luck.