My Russian Family Read online

  Today Ryazan is a thriving city with a population in excess of half a million. It has a solid economic base with major industries in engineering, petrochemical, and oil-refining plus military bases. Education and culture are prevalent with colleges, universities, academies, various theatres and museums plus a celebrated circus, an assortment of recreational and professional groups and magnificent parks.

  • • • • •

  My father’s full name is Mikhail Ivanovich Sariechev. It is pronounced Me-hi´el E´von-o-vich Sar´a-chev. The last few letters in my father’s surname, ev, means belonging to. In this example, belonging to the hawk. Female names end with the letter a (Sariecheva) but not male names (Sariechev).

  My full maiden name was Liliya Mikhailovna Sariecheva which is pronounced Li´li-ya Me´hi-lov-na Sar´a-che-va. Russians in official life do not use nicknames like Lilia, which is reserved for very close friends. Instead, they use the more formal first name, Liliya. My father’s first name, Mikhail, is changed to Mikhailovna in my name. Ovna means daughter of. In a male child, the name would be changed to Mikhailovich. Ovich means son of. Thus, my usual name as spoken in conversations is Liliya Mikhailovna. There are a few exceptions but generally these are the rules. This system ties the individual closer to the family and makes it easier to bind a child to his or her parents’ standards.

  The Sariechev family members have always been proud of their hard-earned name. The hawk remains a symbol that pulls us together physically and emotionally. It brings us back to the nest.

  Another aspect of Russian names is the frequent use of an endless number of endearing terms. These are just words without rules or limitations used only by family members who love each other. Some examples from my name would be Lillichka, Lilluska, Lillousia, Lillinka, Lillousenka, Lilloushka, Lilloushinka, Lilliok, Lillok, Lilliochick, Lillounchick, and Lillounichka.

  In addition to our names, genetics also mark us. The Sariechev women have carried themselves throughout the centuries with style and grace. They sit, stand, and walk in an elegant manner. They also tend to have great endurance, and they have definite opinions. Sometimes these traits are an asset and sometimes a liability, but the women are strong, striking, and beautiful. Because of my blue eyes, blond hair and light complexion, I am an exception in my dark complexioned family.

  Every family contains mixed blood, including mine, yet we consider ourselves Russians. This raises a basic question, “What is a Russian?”

  Russia ranks sixth in world population and first in land area. Embedded within the borders of this largest country in the world are approximately seventy smaller national groups. However, the great majority of Russian people are Russians. The interaction of Russia with both Asia and Europe has continued for at least a thousand years. Further, there has been a flow of Russians eastward to the Asiatic section known as Siberia for the past three centuries. The later inclusion of fourteen other genetically diverse republics prior to and during the era of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics further helped to provide a unique and heterozygous population.

  The approximately three centuries of mixing Mongol and Russian bloodlines influenced Russians physically and mentally, including their cultural and social attitudes and morals. For instance the original Slavic people had light complexions and were considered to be a nonaggressive farming people.

  Even after almost eight centuries, some of my Sariechev family members are still dark complexioned with dark hair and black eyes. Not too far away, the Lapshin family of my paternal grandmother lives in an area where most people have medium complexions, light brown hair, gray eyes, and light skin. The Chernei family on my mother’s side, from northwestern Russia, had very fair skin with light reddish blond or blond hair and blue eyes, which were typical of the original Russian Slavic peoples. Russians tend to be long-legged; however, some of the Sariechev family have short legs like the Mongolians; some are even bowlegged.

  So, Russians are a combination of Europeans and Asians. This fact makes them unique and misunderstood, especially by Westerners. Winston Churchill’s famous comment from a speech in 1939 aptly described Russia for Westerners. He said, “I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.” Time still gives some truth to these words but Cold War propaganda created misunderstandings which are still widely believed. Because generally Russians resemble fair-skinned Caucasians, Westerners expect Russians to think like Westerners. Frequently these opinions and judgments are erroneous.

  Why? The commingling of Russian and Asian DNA over the last 1,000 years and longer has created a fascinating people dwelling in a unique environment. Russians are neither European nor Asian. Russians are a unique blend of both the east and the west, just as the colors blue and red produce purple, which is a distinct color with its own individual characteristics. Comprehension of this simple fact allows a grasp of the Russian mind and a chance at understanding its actions.

  In “The Ballad of East and West,” Rudyard Kipling noted, “Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment Seat.” One reason for this truth is perhaps the following. As a generalization, Westerners typically think in a straight line with a beginning and an end and each segment of this line is dissectible. An Easterner tends to think in a complex loop or circle. This is an important point that is not well recognized and it can create great misunderstandings and conflicts between individuals and nations.

  An obvious example of blending East and West is our architecture. Russians, feeling the lure of the Renaissance, invited Italian artists to their country to produce artworks. The Italians came in great numbers and influenced the construction of numerous monuments and buildings. However, these artists were unable to resist incorporating the Oriental influences already prevalent in Russia. Even Italian Byzantine Art was not powerful enough to entirely eliminate Tartaric Oriental Art from Russia. The result was a national style of ornamentation peculiar to Russia.

  Most Americans call a person who comes from any of the 15 former Republics of the USSR a Russian. This is not correct. The 14 Soviet Socialist Republics were Armenian, Azerbaijan, Belorussian, Estonian, Georgian, Kazakh, Kirghiz, Latvian, Lithuanian, Moldavian, Tajik, Turkmen, Ukrainian, and Uzbek. Russia alone was a Soviet Federated Socialists Republic. All together, they comprised the 15 republics of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR). Soviet translates roughly as advice or council. The USSR population obviously represented a multitude of ethnic backgrounds.

  Many characteristics of the Russians are well known. For instance, Russians are slow to anger and easily forgive others their transgressions. The Russian perceives things as black or white with very little gray. As a result, they can be rigidly opinionated and quite outspoken in saying what they think. They are not braggarts. They speak plainly with a minimal number of words and without qualifying them. Further, they seldom change their mind. Once their “line is crossed,” they are not cautious and will defend their choice to the death.

  I know about the patience, fortitude, and endurance possessed by the Slavic inhabitants of Russia. These stoic citizens can be satisfied with minimal food, shelter, and clothing. Hardship is borne with little complaint. They respect food, particularly bread, and they never waste it. A foreigner could starve if he tried to live out of a Russian garbage can. Russians are modest, frugal, and unpretentious. Individual greed is not respected. Somehow, Russians consider it shameful to be rich. With a bit of spite they would say, “What do the rich know about life? They are wealthy!”

  Literature, science, the arts, and older people are given great homage by Russians. Russians love to be punctual and fashionable. It is joked that Russian women put on makeup and a nice dress just to go to the mailbox. Singing and dancing is, among other things, a technique to raise spirits and avoid depression.

  Government, religion, and even local bosses are shown respect. However, beneath the surface, behind their backs
, a mood of irreverence and impertinence prevails. To understand Russians, one must know that a joyful spirit of life and a deep love for Mother Russia unites all Russians.

  Russians possess a genuine forgiving nature and they will not hold a grudge. This may be their most admirable trait, one which should be envied by those who lack this charitable Christian trait and look down their noses at godless communists.

  Humor is welcome as a necessary part of life. Back in the 1970s when the government controlled the press, two of the newspapers were Pravda (truth) and Novoste (news). The Russians declared, “There is no truth in the news and no news in the truth.”

  Languages tend to reflect the character of the citizens who speak it. Arabic is a flowery language, well suited to poetry and lovers. Probably its impreciseness is not very practical for the business world. English is an accurate business and commerce language but poets might have difficulty expressing their deepest emotions in English. The Russian language possesses a blend of both the poet and the commerce capabilities. Perhaps this is another aspect of having a foot in both the East and the West.

  Approximately 150 years ago, the Russian poet Fyodor Ivanovich Tyutchev (1803-1873) penned a now famous stanza.

  You wouldn’t understand Russia just using the intellect

  You couldn’t measure her using the common scale

  She has a special kind of grace

  You can only believe in her.

  PART ONE

  The Elder Generation

  Love Amidst the Flaming Birches

  Literal translation:

  Trouble is here, so open the gates.

  Meaning:

  Misfortunes never come alone.

  My Paternal Grandparents

  Literal translation:

  Hope for God, but do not be reliant.

  Meaning:

  In God we trust, all others pay cash.

  1. Family Secrets

  WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I ASKED MY MOTHER, “WHY HAVEN’T we ever gone to your relatives’ homes, even for one short visit?” She answered after a second’s hesitation, “Because I don’t have any relatives, that’s why.”

  I continued the questions, “Did you have them?”

  “Yes, I did, when I was a little girl like you are.”

  “So, where are they now?”

  My mom responded with sadness as she absently tucked a loose lock of her blond hair back into her elaborate hairdo, “I don’t know. Your dad and I are looking for them. I can’t bear to think that we will never find any members of my family.”

  My mom’s sad turquoise eyes stared at nothing. I put my head on her lap and she caressed me with her small, refined hands. I felt a need to reassure my protector: “Mommy, if daddy is looking for them you can be sure he’ll find them!”

  Mom took a deep breath and replied, “I haven’t seen them for many years, but we will never stop searching for them. I know they will be found.”

  My eyes filled with tears and I said, “My poor momma, are you an orphan?”

  My mom replied, “Of course not! I have your daddy, your brother, you, and your father’s relatives. Therefore, I’m not an orphan.”

  But there was no convincing me. “My granny told me that she was an orphan because she lost her parents when she was little,” I stated.

  Mom stroked my head and smiled, “Nowadays, neither your granny nor I are little girls.”

  I was so glad that I was not an orphan. Nevertheless, I did not yet know all the secrets of my family. I didn’t know that I had been a short step away from being an orphan myself.

  A curiosity about my family from a young age led me to actively seek additions to my collection of stories, as they fascinated me. The stories stuck to me like a magnet. Older women were an excellent source, including my mother, my dad’s mother, my aunts, and my mother-in-law.

  As I look back with the advantage of hindsight, it is amazing how many secrets of friends and relatives have unfolded. Some were like tightly wound rose buds blossoming. Some reveal themselves like mystical events from a soft and hazy dream. Others are comparable to the smoke and mirrors of a carnival magician. A few burst forth with a raw and gritty reality!

  2. Varvara

  The Russian Tsar Alexander II, known as The Liberator, was assassinated on the first day of March in 1881. His place in history is primarily as absolute emperor of a mammoth country during a crucial period of its development. The liberally educated ruler instigated great reforms following the Crimean War in 1856. They included emancipation of the serfs and extensive modernization of Russia. He started industrialization in the 1870s, which had major social impacts. He sold Alaska to the United States in 1867, although many Russians still swear that it was a 99-year lease, not a purchase. He freed Bulgaria from the Ottoman Turks in 1878 and set the stage for Russian Imperialism in Asia.

  Nevertheless, the reign of Alexander II was still autocratic, fomenting revolutionary terrorism. The Tsars of the Romanov dynasty, after all, were absolute rulers, “divinely anointed” with no mechanism for checks and balances on their power even by the nobility. No legal, political, or social body existed that could challenge Alexander’s omnipotence.

  A small bomb thrown at the carriage of Tsar Alexander II in St. Petersburg killed and maimed some troops of the Cossack Cavalry guarding him. But, instead of speeding off, the brave Tsar stepped out of his coach and consoled the wounded. A second bomb mangled his leg and he later bled to death. The generally accepted reason he was killed was his signing the Abolition of Slavery Act twenty years earlier, on February 19, 1861. This act had freed my paternal great-grandparents and great great-grandparents who were born into slavery.

  A cathedral named The Church of the Blood was built in honor of the Tsar at the site of his death. I visited this site in 2005. The building is beautiful, well maintained, and frequent visitors grace its halls.

  Cathedral of Blood in St Petersburg, 2005

  The Tsar’s assassination reminded me of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States known as The Great Emancipator who was assassinated on April 14, 1865. Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, two years after the Russian Tsar abolished slavery. I wonder, did Lincoln consider the results of the Tsar’s action? Did the Tsar ever ponder his own fate as he reflected upon the premature death of Lincoln?

  Both leaders signed acts liberating slaves. Neither provided land for the former slaves. A southern actor who sympathized with slaveholders assassinated the President. A disillusioned intellectual who sympathized with slaves assassinated the Tsar.

  The freed slaves in Russia could now own land but their freedom was merely an illusion—they had no land. My paternal great great-grandparents in the Ryazan area bought what land they could from their former owners so they could support themselves as farmers but their wages were so low and money so scarce they could not buy enough land to become self sufficient and support their families. The poverty cycle relentlessly continued as it ignored emancipation.

  Family photographs of peasants from 100 years ago are rare but my family does possess one. As a young girl I asked my Grandmother Varvara for it and she gave it to me. It shows my paternal great grandmother Katerina seated with her eldest son Yegor. The two men standing are Katerina’s sons-in-law. The identity of the young girl in front is unknown. This matriarch Katerina was a tall strong woman, married to Coupriyan El’ich Sariechev, and they are the parents of Ivan Coupriyanovich Sariechev, my grandfather. Note Katerina’s head scarf that completely covers her hair, the heavy clothes, the black leather boots and an apparent Asian cast of the eyes.

  My paternal great-grandparent’s second daughter Varvara Yemelyanovna Lapshina was born at home in 1888. When she was three and her sister Katerina was thirteen years old their mother died. Later on, their father Yemelian married a childless widow. The couple conceived a son called Andre Yemelyanovich Lapshin two years later.

  The matriarch Katerina and family circa 1900.

  Youn
g Varvara at eight years of age took care of her brother Andre since her dad and stepmother were always busy working their land and livestock. The older sister Katerina, nicknamed Katia, was away, working for a large clothing factory in Moscow to earn money for her dowry.

  One sunny summer day Varvara brought her baby brother outside and put him on the grass. Her father’s well-trained personal horse was nearby in the pasture. Unexpectedly, the horse came very close to baby Andre. The young girl grabbed a thin stick from a branch and touched the horse to warn it away. The horse unpredictably kicked and an iron hoof deeply slashed her face from the corner of the lips down to her chin. The wound later became infected. The young girl was feverish and delirious for many days with no one around in the daytime to give her kind words or lay a cool cloth on her forehead. Her stepmother and father spent all the daylight hours working in the fields. Her father did not take her to a doctor, as it was a long and expensive trip during harvest time. As a result the girl’s face was marred by an ugly scar that made her very unhappy as she grew older.

  The accident left her weak and not too helpful around the small farm, so her father sent her away to be a nanny for a civil engineer employed by the railroad near Moscow. This family had several children including a newborn. Varvara was to be the nighttime nanny, as the family had a full time day nanny. The family fed and clothed her and gave her pay directly to her father. This arrangement lasted some six years and when she returned to her parents she was strong and healthy.

  Varvara’s stepmother was a quiet woman, a good mother to the stepchildren, and they loved her intensely. She died along with her newest baby during childbirth at home and her husband Yemelian died soon after in an epidemic. Shortly afterwards, at the age of 14, Varvara and another village girl named Dahsha went to the same Moscow factory where her sister Katia had worked years earlier. This factory produced fabric and was part of the huge clothing industry that had expanded to become Russia’s largest industry, as industrialization produced more and more consumer goods.