Damaged Read online

  The Girl You Die For:

  Damaged

  By Leona Keyoko Pink & Timothy Terry

  Copyright 2019 Leona Keyoko Pink

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sample Chapter of Bound: Caught

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  Chapter One

  “You shouldn’t have interfered.”

  “I know that.”

  “Then why did you?”

  “I thought her boyfriend was cheating on her...”

  “Right...he buys her a new car and he’s cheating on her.”

  “Yeah! Why else would he?”

  “Oh, I don’t know... Maybe because he loves her.”

  I drifted, following voices, and suddenly found myself in a diner. I see the four of them sitting at a booth together, eating lunch. It’s rare to see them all together like this. I’d never met them before but I feel a familiarity towards them, a closeness I can’t quite explain.

  I watch them eating and listen to their conversation. From what I can gather the one they call Richy has done something wrong. He interfered when he shouldn’t have. He’s a bit of a character, always getting himself into ‘interesting’ situations. He almost always has his hair slicked back and likes to wear a leather jacket.

  I see him slumped over the table now and he looks sad. The one called Micheal shakes his head at him. Micheal has got short hair, shaved on the sides; I think he might be in the military. He’s got a serious way about him. I could tell he’s not happy with Richy.

  “I love her,” said Richy, his voice cracking with emotion.

  “We know that,” said Kit, reaching out to him. She was the only girl in the group. She always wore her hair in braids and looks young, like she was still in high school. She is kind and sweet and is always trying to keep the peace. “We all understand how you feel, Richy, but… it’s because we love them that we have these rules,”

  “Any contact doesn’t just put her and the others at risk but us as well,” added Micheal. “It’s dangerous and stupid!”

  “Hey, it’s not like I’m the only one who's interfered,” said Richy, sitting up. He looked to the one they call Em. He was sitting next to Richy.

  I take a moment to look at Em. He’s the only one I’ve sort of met. He’s the one...the one who saved me all those years ago. The one I share dreams with. I think he’s the reason I’m here now and able to see all this. I’m not quite sure how it all works but I feel we are linked somehow. From time to time, when I dream, I’m able to go where he is and see what he sees.

  The others look at Em as he eats his sandwich. He swallows the food in his mouth. He doesn’t seem pleased to have this subject brought up again. He sighed and said, “That was a special case and you know it.”

  “And we took precautions to make sure it never happens again,” added Micheal.

  Richy groaned, upset, “This…just... this whole thing sucks.”

  “Yeah…yeah it does,” said Em. “But you don’t have to like it; you just have to do it. Stay away from her, move if you have to, just keep your distance. For all our sakes, okay?”

  Richy didn’t say anything. He just sat there.

  “Okay?” said Em louder before wiping his mouth with a napkin.

  “Alright, alright, whatever,” said Richy.

  Em quickly finished off his sandwich and then pulled out his wallet. He put enough money down on the table to pay for everyone's lunch. “Is there anything else?”

  “No,” said Kit, “Not on my end...just finals.” She let out a heavy sigh.

  “Nothing from me either,” said Micheal. Then he turned to Kit. “I can help you study if you want.”

  “Thanks, but I think I got this,” said Kit. She looked to Em and asked, “What about you? Is...Is he still following you?”

  The room’s mood shifted suddenly at the mention of this mysterious ‘he’. They’d mentioned him a few times but never said his name. I could tell ‘he’ made them all tense up, except for Em.

  “Yeah,” said Em calmly, “But it’s nothing I can’t handle,”

  “We should take care of him,” spat Richy, “Maybe if we did...we...we wouldn’t have to go through all this shit.”

  “Again, there are rules. Even when it comes to him.” said Micheal. He didn’t look happy about it.

  Em sighed and said, “Even then, it’s not just him, guys. There’s more to this and you know it. Besides... I won’t risk waking him up.”

  They sat for a moment and then Em got up. He grabbed his bag from the floor and swung it over his shoulder. “Well, if any of you need me you know where to find me. I gotta get back.”

  Kit and Micheal nodded. Richy just stared at the table. Em leaned in and touched his shoulder, “If you love her...think of what’s best for her. Let her be happy. Let her live a normal, safe life.”

  Richy nodded but I could tell he was still pretty upset. I didn’t understand everything that was going on. I wished I could ask questions. I had so, so many questions but never any answers.

  Em turned and left the table. I went with him. At the door he looked outside cautiously and then put on his headphones and pulled his hood up over his head. Outside it was raining. I tried to take in everything around us, tried to find something I could use to find out where we are...where he is, but it’s all so fuzzy.

  He walked several blocks and I drifted after him. Sometimes I was behind him and other times I was just above him, looking down on him. He stopped suddenly, standing still, and then turned ever so slightly. He looked at me and for a moment his ocean blue eyes were crystal clear.

  My heart picked up. I could feel it pounding in my chest. Did he see me? Did he know I was here? No…I watch him look around slowly. Someone else is there, watching him, following him. Was it the ‘he’ they were just talking about? I see Em’s eyes flicker as he spots someone. He turned away from them and continued walking once more. I try to see who’s following him but someone touches my shoulder and-

  “Aubrey, Aubrey...”

  I open my eyes and sit up at my desk, confused for a second. I realize I must have fallen asleep. I look around and see Dafney smiling at me. She takes her hand from my shoulder and says, “Lunch is almost over. You might want to wake up.”

  “Oh, uh,” I look at the time on my monitor and then nod, “Thanks,”

  “No problem,” she says. She gives me a big smile and then walks to her own desk.

  I sat up and ran my hands through my hair. I’d only rested my head on my desk for a second. I hadn’t intended on falling asleep but was glad I had. I looked at the time again. I still had a few minutes before I needed to log back into the system. I quickly pulled my special notebook from my bag and jotted down as many details as I could remember from my dream. I can feel it. I know I’m close to finding him.

  Chapter Two

  The rest of my work day went as it usually did on Fridays. Fifteen minutes before the end of the day people started chatting about their weekend plans and gathering their things. I finished what I was working on and logged out of the system. With five minutes left on the clock, I gather up my own things and made sure I had everything.

  I put on my jacket and looked out the window to see it wasn’t raining. Just the same, I made sure I have my umbrella prepped. The clock hit
five and I headed out with everyone else. I was eager to get home, to see if I could learn anything new from my latest dream.

  There was a bit of a line for the elevators so I waited my turn and then piled in with half a dozen people. They all had something going on. I listened but didn’t really take in what they are saying. When the elevator let out, I took the parking lot exit.

  I don’t drive but when I’m out and about, I like to be around as many people as I can, there is safety in numbers. I ran through what I wanted to get done before I go home and just what routes I should take.

  “Aubrey! Aubrey! AUBREY!”

  Someone is calling out. It took me a moment to realize they’re calling out to me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to going by another name. I see Annie from accounting making her way over to me. She gives me one of her big smiles and says, “A bunch of us are going out for drinks. Want to join us?”

  I pause for a moment like I might actually be considering it…but I’m not. I keep to myself outside of work, I don’t stay out past sunset and above all, I don’t take anything that can alter my state of mind. I always need to be aware and ready…

  When I think enough time has passed, I smile politely and say, “No, I’m sorry, I have plans. But thank you,” It’s a lie of course, I don’t have plans.

  “A hot date?” she jests.

  “Something like that,” I reply. It’s important to keep things vague.

  “Annie...come on, let’s go.” I look to see Claire from Human services. She looks tired and annoyed as she waits for her friend.

  “Well, I guess I’ll see you Monday,” said Annie, stepping back.

  “Have a nice weekend,” I say.

  “You too,” she says before turning and rushing off to Claire.

  I watch for a moment as they join with a group of others. I feel empty...alone. A part of me wishes I could have said yes, that I could have gone out with them and had some fun. Maybe I could have gotten to know my co-workers and made a friend or two. But I...I know better. Want as I might, I can’t allow myself to get close to anyone…to trust.

  After what happened to me…I was damaged. My entire world was shattered. Initially when I got back, I was in a state of shock. I thought things could and would just go back to normal. I felt a bit disconnected from everything. At times it felt like it had all happened to someone else. Eventually it sunk in and hit me hard that it had all happened...happened to me. It didn’t help that there were reporters everywhere always trying to get a comment, to get me to tell them every detail about the worst moment in my life.

  My parents did their best to protect me and my brothers. They tried to keep things as normal as they could. I tried to move on with my life and went to college like I’d always planned but it was hard. My studies were the last thing on my mind. I tried to make friends but I was never that social. And anytime I started to get close to anyone I’d pull away thinking of Julia, of her betrayal. I didn’t want to risk making a connection again and getting burned.

  When it came to guys... if one looked at me too long or tried talking to me, I’d seize up and start to panic. I mostly kept to myself and things slowly got worse and worse. I started withdrawing inward. I spent a lot of time in my head and I began having nightmares.

  Even though I knew Lyndon was locked up and couldn’t hurt me, I kept having nightmares that he wasn’t, that he was coming to get me and that he was going to take me back to that cabin. I found it hard to sleep and eat. I struggled with my classes and began to lose interest in all the things that used to bring me joy.

  One day I had a breakdown when I thought someone was following me after class. I ended up dropping out of college and my parents got me a counselor. I found it hard to talk to them. They tried to teach me how to cope, to move past what had happened. I felt like they didn’t understand me, didn’t understand what had happened.

  My parents started making all my decisions and I felt powerless. I began to feel incapable of doing anything. They decided to sell the house and give us all a fresh start but I felt bad. My brothers were young. They didn’t understand what had happened, what was going on, and why they had to leave all their friends behind. I felt responsible and closed myself up in my room at the new house.

  My Aunt saved me. We had moved closer to her and she came over every day. She made it a point to talk to me each and every day. She’s the one who suggested I change my name, that I take charge of my life. She signed me up for self defense classes and kickboxing. My parents thought she was out of her mind, but hitting...hitting things felt good.

  I found I had a lot of anger, a lot of emotions that were pent up inside me. The self defense classes taught me how to take the power back in my life and ensure I would never be a victim again. Slowly I gained more confidence. I signed up for online college, got a degree, got a job and eventually moved out and to a new city on my own.

  I gained some semblance of a life. But things...things could never, would never, be the same. The carefree, oblivious girl I used to be was gone. Now...Now I’m a survivor and I do whatever it takes to feel...to be safe.

  I let out a heavy sigh and look at my watch. I check to see how much time I have before sunset and start a timer. I turn and get moving once more. I put headphones on but nothing is playing. I walk casually but really, I’m alert. I keep an eye on my surroundings and note anyone who gets too close or that I’ve seen more than a few times.

  I hit up the post office. I have a P.O. Box and check my mail once a week, never at the same time or on the same day. One of the things they taught me in my self defense classes was that it was important to vary how you do things. A routine can be dangerous. It allows a stalker to know the best time to attack.

  I walk several more blocks and decide to stop in at the local market. I pick up a few essentials for the weekend and a man in the wine isle smiles at me, I don’t smile back. I get what I need and get out. I find I have nearly an hour to spare; I take the long way home.

  When I get to my apartment building I enter the code at the front door and go into the lobby. I wait for the elevator. Once inside, I purposely push the wrong floor. I get off two floors early and take the stairwell. I suppose I’m overly cautious, maybe even paranoid with some of my rules and rituals, but they make me feel safe and in control.

  When I get to my floor I have my keys out and ready. It takes me less than a second to get inside. I hesitate in the doorway, making sure nothing has been moved before I step inside. I shut the door and secure all the locks. I take out my expandable baton and check the other rooms and windows. When I know it’s safe I relax, if only for a moment.

  I put on some music and put my groceries away. I call my mom as I microwave a TV dinner. I ask her about her day and find out my brother Tam been in another accident. It’s nothing major but Tam’s becoming a bit of a klutz. If there were a banana peel in a gymnasium, he’d find it.

  He’s in high school now and forgot his textbook in his locker. He went to get it and was in such a hurry on his way back that he tripped over a wet floor sign and broke his wrist. Apparently the janitor hadn’t even started mopping yet. He’d just put the sign down and a second later my brother was tumbling over it. I tell mom to send him my love and hope that he recovers soon.

  I ask about my other brother, Chip. He’s got a new girlfriend and he has been spending a bit too much time with her. His grades are beginning to slip. They had to sit him down the other day and have a talk with him about it. He promised to spend more time studying.

  Dad gets on the phone. We chat about him going fishing this weekend. He asks how I’m liking the new apartment and if I’m staying safe. I tell him I am and he makes it clear I can call day or night. I tell him I love him but have to get off, my TV dinner is melting. We share a laugh and say goodnight.

  Once we hang up, I stand in the kitchen for a moment just holding my phone. I think of how much I miss them. It was good I finally moved out. I needed the independence. But I wondered if I should
have moved so far away… Of course, there is a reason I did.

  I walk into my living room and stare at my wall. While most people might hang pictures or shelves, mine looks like I’m investigating a murder. Though I’ve never had that dream at the beach again, I’ve had so many others. I have written and sketched out all the details of every dream I can remember about Em and his companions.

  I feel the dreams will help me find them. I chuckle to myself, thinking I know how that sounds, how it looks. It’s a good thing no one ever comes over because they would think I was crazy. Who knows, maybe I am… I saw a bus logo in one of my dreams and because of it, I moved halfway across the country to, what? To find a man from my dreams who didn’t want anything to do with me and thank him for saving my life. I sigh and know there’s more to it than that…

  I pull my notebook out of my purse. I lay it on my desk and then collect my TV dinner. I start up my laptop and start searching for places that serve food. I plan to spend my weekend exploring the city for the diner I saw in my dreams.

  I narrow down my search by looking at places located in a downtown-like area. I vaguely remember taller buildings. I write down several possible locations I can check out as I eat. Then I take out a bus map I bought last week and spend an hour or so planning the routes I should take.

  Finally, I look up Lyndon. I don't like doing it but I want to be proactive. With a few clicks of a keyboard and mouse, the past I try to forget comes flooding back to me. I’ve read most of the news articles, seen all the videos. As far as I can tell, there is no new information. Nothing has changed. I let out a sigh of relief and close my browser.

  I sit for a bit, thinking... Sometimes I wish he hadn’t been found alive, or hope that one day when I was looking him up I’d learn he had died. Maybe if I knew it was over, finally over, I’d be able to open up more and relax… Maybe I should be already. It’s been years since the attack. Maybe I didn’t need to be so vigilant. But to me, it still feels like it all happened yesterday.