Zinnia's Zaniness Read online

"What about the cats?" Zinnia asked Pete.

  Zinnia was referring to Anthrax, Dandruff, Greatorex, Jaguar, Minx, Precious, Rambunctious, and Zither, our eight gray and white puffball cats, one cat per Eight. There was also Old Felix, the Petes' cat, who'd been living with us ever since the Petes temporarily moved in.

  "Why, they'll come with us," Pete said. "We can't leave them home alone for a week. I'm sure we can find somewhere to stay that will be happy to have all of us and the cats too."

  We weren't sure he should be so sure about that, but we didn't say anything, not wanting to rock the vacation boat.

  "Yippee!" Zinnia said. "The cats are going on vacation too!"

  We no longer felt glum at all, not even a bit. In fact, as we all hurried to the door so we could begin doing all we needed to do before going away, we were feeling very excited indeed.

  "Wait a second," Marcia said, for some reason turning around. "What's that loose stone doing shoving itself a little ways out from the wall?"

  We turned.

  It was true. The loose stone was jutting out a bit. This, in our experience, could mean only one thing: a new note.

  "But that makes no sense," Marcia said. "There should only be a new note if Zinnia has received her power or her gift, neither of which has happened yet."

  Marcia crossed the room and angrily pushed the loose stone back into place.

  Marcia had had issues with the note leaver ever since Rebecca's month, when we'd discovered Rebecca had superhuman strength but a note to accompany that never came. Marcia went back and forth now between concern over the note leaver and anger at the note leaver.

  "Silly note leaver," Marcia muttered, following the rest of us out of the room.

  If she had turned then, if any of us had turned, we would have seen something that we could only have taken as ominous:

  The loose stone had already popped itself back out again, as though it were trying to tell us something.

  Good thing we didn't turn.

  TWO

  The next morning found us in our bedrooms putting the finishing touches on our packing.

  In bedroom 2, Zinnia looked from Rebecca to Petal to Durinda.

  "Rebecca," Zinnia asked, "why are you wearing your locket?"

  "Because I always do." Rebecca shrugged. "What's it to you?"

  "Petal," Zinnia asked, "why are you wearing your charm bracelet?"

  "Because I haven't taken it off since receiving it, not even when I bathe?" Petal asked-answered, as though worried. "Is that the right response?"

  "Durinda," Zinnia said, "why are you wearing your dangly earrings with the green stones? And don't say because you always do. I know that's not true. They're so fancy, you hardly ever wear them."

  "I don't know the right answer," Durinda said, sounding like Petal as she fingered an earring. "I'll let you know when I think of one."

  "Harrumph," Zinnia harrumphed, stomping out of bedroom 2, passing through the connecting bathroom, and opening the door to bedroom 1 with Durinda, Petal, and Rebecca close on her heels.

  "Annie, Georgia, Jackie, Marcia," Zinnia said accusingly, her hand on the doorknob, "just what do you think you are doing?"

  "What?" Annie, Georgia, Jackie, and Marcia said, looking guilty.

  "Annie, you're wearing your purple ring," Zinnia accused. "Georgia, don't bother trying to hide that compact in your hand because I can see the gold glittering between your fingers. Jackie, is there a good reason to pack your red cape for a trip to the Seaside in August? Marcia, same question for you, only substitute purple cloak for red cape."

  "We're sorry," Jackie said. "Petal thought it wouldn't be safe for us to leave our gifts behind."

  "And for once," Georgia said, "we thought the little idiot might be right about something."

  "Oh, fine, blame me," Petal said. "Now Zinnia will probably hate me forever and that shall be very bad since Zinnia has always been the kindest to me. Well, except for maybe Durinda. And of course Jackie."

  We could tell Annie was a little miffed at being left off Petal's List of Kind People but we were too busy worrying about Zinnia to worry about Annie.

  "Didn't it occur to anyone that I might be offended," Zinnia said, "that I might feel hurt, since I'm the only Eight without a gift to bring with me on vacation?"

  "We're sorry," Durinda said, putting her arm around Zinnia.

  "We didn't mean to hurt you," Jackie added, putting her arm around Zinnia from the other side.

  "I know!" Annie suggested excitedly in what some of us felt was a thinly disguised attempt to prove she could be as kind as the next Eight. "Why don't you pick something from the house to bring with you—you know, something you personally consider special—so that special something can be your stand-in gift while we're away?"

  "Can it be anything?" Zinnia asked.

  "Anything," Annie assured her.

  A grin as wide as a cape or a cloak spread straight across Zinnia's face.

  ***

  "Oh no, you are not," Rebecca said, charging down the stairs after Zinnia.

  Well, we were all charging at that point.

  "Oh yes, I am!" Zinnia shouted gleefully back at us. "Annie said I could bring anything!"

  "But I didn't say you could bring two anythings!" Annie shouted forward at Zinnia.

  "Even I know that if we bring those two... things," Petal added, "other people will think we are odd."

  "And do we really need any more of that in our lives?" Georgia said.

  Zinnia reached the bottom of the stairs, which we admit was a very long flight, and headed toward the drawing room, seven Eights in hot pursuit.

  That was when Pete blew a whistle.

  Oh no. Pete had a whistle. We certainly hoped he didn't plan on blowing it at us a lot while on vacation. That could get annoying.

  "Hang on," Pete said, holding one palm up traffic-cop style and causing us to skid to a stop, crashing into each other one by one. "Now, what's all the fuss here?"

  Eight Eights spoke at once, so it took a moment for him to sort out what we were saying, but eventually he seemed to get the idea.

  "Let me see if I've got this straight," Pete said as Mrs. Pete came over to join him. "Seven of you are bringing your special gifts on vacation because you're worried they'll get stolen if you leave them home. Zinnia's upset because she doesn't have a special gift to bring. Annie said she could take along whatever she wanted from the house to be her stand-in gift until the real thing comes along. Zinnia wants to bring that suit of armor and dressmaker's dummy that you lot refer to as Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally."

  It was true, we had to admit with embarrassment. Zinnia did want to take the suit of armor and the dressmaker's dummy on vacation with us. Could she be any zanier?

  "And now," Pete said in conclusion, "Petal, of all people—sorry, Petal, but I think you understand—Petal, the same Petal who hid under beds in not one but two different countries for the better part of the month of June, is concerned that other people might think you lot are odd?"

  Eight heads nodded.

  "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this," Pete said, "but that ship has already sailed."

  "He means that everyone already thinks we're odd," Jackie said.

  "There was no need to translate, Jackie," Annie said. "We were all able to figure out that figure of speech on our own."

  "I wasn't," Petal said.

  "Does this mean that it's okay with you, Mr. Pete," Zinnia asked, "if Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally come along for the ride?"

  "I don't see why not," Pete said.

  "Phew," Zinnia said.

  Even though we'd never have admitted it out loud, we shared Zinnia's phew. The Petes were great, but since New Year's Eve, we'd grown kind of used to having Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally as our stand-in parents. They may not have been big talkers, and their versions of hugs did leave something to be desired, but we had missed them when we went to France—you simply can't take a suit of armor on an airplane with you, wh
at with all those metal detectors, plus we couldn't possibly split up Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally—and we would have missed them if we had to leave them a second time.

  "But if Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally are with us," Petal worried aloud, "and we're all gone too, plus the cats, who will keep an eye on the house? You can't leave a house behind with no one to keep an eye on it. It's unsafe!"

  "People usually ask their neighbors to keep an eye out," Durinda said.

  "Somehow," Annie said, "I don't think asking the Wicket to do that is such a good idea."

  Did we really need her to tell us that?

  "What about Carl the talking refrigerator and robot Betty?" Pete suggested.

  "Haven't you noticed," Georgia said, "that Carl's a talking refrigerator but not a walking refrigerator? If someone bad breaks in, what can he do? Toss ice cubes at them? He certainly can't chase them anywhere."

  "Haven't you noticed," Rebecca added, "that robot Betty never follows instructions? Tell her to keep all the riffraff out, you know she'll just go watch TV."

  "Since Carl the talking refrigerator and robot Betty won't do us any good if we leave them behind," Petal said, "can we take them with us this time?"

  We ignored Petal.

  "I'm sure everything will be just fine here," Pete said.

  "Can we go get Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally from the drawing room," Zinnia asked, "so we can begin loading them and everything else into the car?"

  Zinnia didn't wait for an answer.

  And as the rest of us followed her into the drawing room, we saw that the loose stone was once again sticking out.

  "Silly note leaver," Marcia muttered, shoving the stone back in again.

  "Stop doing that," Zinnia said, upset. "It's my month. I should be in charge of shoving the loose stone back in if it needs it."

  Just as Zinnia finished her last sentence, the stone popped out again.

  Marcia reached to shove it back in but Zinnia stopped her just in time.

  "I said," Zinnia said with rare forcefulness, "that's my job this month."

  Then Zinnia reached for the stone, but instead of shoving it back in again, she slid it the rest of the way out.

  "Well, what do you know?" Zinnia said, peering into the space where the stone had been. "There is a note back here."

  We all gathered round as Zinnia pulled out the note and began to read:

  Dear Zinnia,

  It seems I've been waiting to say this to you for far too Long: Congratulations on your magnificent power!

  Of course, I did try to CongratuLate you yesterday, at the earLiest possible moment of your officiaL month, but someone shoved

  the stone back in. So I was forced to congratulate you today instead.

  Fifteen down, one to go. I do hope you've been enjoying your power. I hope you agree that it is, as you would say, a doozy!

  As always, the note was unsigned.

  We did think that it would be nice if, just once, the note leaver forgot about not signing his or her—or its—name, and went ahead and signed it. Who could this person be?

  "I don't understand this," Marcia said, frustrated.

  "This is ridiculous," Rebecca said. "Zinnia hasn't received any power."

  "Maybe I have," Zinnia said in a small voice.

  "That's crazy talk," Georgia said. "Can you think like an adult?"

  "I don't know how I'd know if I could do that," Zinnia said, "but I'm fairly certain I can't."

  "Can you make other people freeze?" Annie asked.

  Zinnia tried rapidly hitting her palm against her leg and then pointing at various ones of us but none of us froze.

  "No," Zinnia said, "nor can anyone freeze me."

  "Can you make yourself disappear?" Durinda asked.

  Zinnia twitched her nose twice. "Can you still see me?" she asked hopefully.

  "'Fraid so," Durinda said.

  "Then I guess the answer must be no," Zinnia said sadly.

  "Can you run faster than a speeding train?" Marcia asked.

  "Do you have one handy?" Zinnia asked. Then, not waiting for a response, she added, "I'm sure I can't, even if you did."

  "Do you have x-ray vision?" Jackie asked.

  Zinnia squinched her eyes tight. "No," she said.

  "Good," Petal said. "That means you can't see my underwear."

  "Can you read people's minds?" Rebecca asked.

  "No," Zinnia said, "but I can guess what you're thinking about me and I know it's not good. And before you ask, no, I can't shoot fire from my fingertips."

  "Then what can you do?" Georgia demanded.

  "I can talk to the cats," Zinnia said simply. "I can understand them and they can understand me." She shrugged. "It's the same power I've had all my life."

  "That's not a power," Georgia said, laughing in her face. "That's just your insanity."

  One day we would regret doing it, but in that moment, we laughed at Zinnia too.

  THREE

  "Let's pack up the car so we can hit the road!" seven of us cried with great enthusiasm and one of us cried with half enthusiasm. That half enthusiast would be Zinnia, who, we suspected, still felt bad that we'd laughed at her. But we weren't worried. She'd get over it. She always did.

  "I've got the packing manifest here," Annie said, pulling out a pen and clipboard to which she'd attached a sheet of paper.

  "Must we have a packing manifest?" Georgia groaned.

  "Can't we just pack the car without one, like normal people?" Rebecca added.

  "I don't even know what a manifest is," Petal said. "Will it hurt, like getting a shot at the doctor's office?"

  "No," Jackie reassured her. "A manifest in the way Annie's using it is simply a fancy name for a list."

  Annie stood beside Mrs. Pete, checking off items on her list as Pete loaded the purple Hummer.

  "Ten suitcases?" Annie called to Pete.

  "Check!" he called back.

  "The big bag we'll take to the beach with items like regular sunscreen for the rest of us and SPF one hundred for Petal?" Annie called.

  "Check!" Pete called back.

  "Snacks for the ride?" Annie called.

  "Check!" Pete called back.

  "How long will the ride be?" Petal asked.

  We ignored her.

  "Our eight cats plus Old Felix and all the cat things?" Annie called.

  "Check!" Pete called back.

  "Daddy Sparky and Mommy Sally?" Annie called.

  "Check!" Pete called back. He sounded like he might be getting tired and out of breath. We hadn't known that could happen to Pete. "Are we almost finished with your manifest, Annie?" he asked. "It's getting a little cramped in there. I'm not sure there will be room for all of us humans if you try to cram any more stuff in."

  "That's okay," Annie said, "because there's just one box left."

  "A box?" Pete looked surprised, and then he saw Annie point to a box near her feet. "What's in that box?" he wanted to know. "I don't remember seeing the word box anywhere on your manifest."

  "Oh, it's just something we Eights need to take on vacation with us," Annie said with that disturbing air of mystery again.

  "Oof!" Pete said, lifting the box off the ground. "This box is heavy. What have you got in here, old books?"

  "Never mind that now," Annie said as Pete crammed that one last item into the Hummer. "We need to go say goodbye to Carl the talking refrigerator and robot Betty."

  ***

  Clink, clink, clink.

  The ice-cube dispenser was making rapid clinking noises, which in our house could mean only one thing: the talking refrigerator was crying.

  "Stop crying, Carl," Durinda said. "We'll come back."

  "Don't forget to eat proper meals while you're away from me," Carl the talking refrigerator said morosely.

  Clink, clink.

  "We won't," Durinda assured him, spreading her arms wide to give him a hug.

  "Just because it's summer," Carl said, "doesn't mean you can eat ice cream all
day long."

  "We know that, Carl," Durinda said.

  "But I will keep the ice cream at home perfectly chilled for your return," Carl said.

  Clink.

  "We know that too, Carl," Durinda said. "You always take such good care of us."

  "Durinda," Rebecca said, "do you think you could stop hugging the talking refrigerator already so we could leave on our vacation?"

  "Oops, sorry," Durinda said with a blush as she forced herself away from Carl. "I hadn't realized I was still doing that."

  "Goodbye, Carl!" we all shouted as we headed for the door.

  "Goodbye, Betty!" we all shouted as we passed her on our way out the door. "Take good care of Carl for us!"

  The robot slammed the door behind us.

  It was anyone's guess what the robot would do with us gone.

  But at that moment, all we were thinking was Yippee! Vacation time!

  ***

  "One hundred boxes of juice on the wall, one hundred boxes of juice! You take one down, pass it around, ninety-nine boxes of juice on the wall!"

  Big breath.

  "Ninety-nine boxes of juice on the wall, ninety-nine bo—"

  "Excuse me," Pete said, interrupting our singing, which we'd decided to take random turns at so that no one's voice gave out before the end of the song, "but why do you say 'boxes of juice'?"

  "What else would we say?" Jackie asked.

  "Well," Marcia said, "I believe in the original song, it's 'bottles of beer.'"

  "We can't sing about bottles of beer," Petal said. "We're kids. We could get arrested for that."

  "That's not what I meant," Pete said.

  "Then why don't you say what you meant so that we'll all know?" Rebecca said.

  Oh, Rebecca.

  Near the end of July we'd grown hopeful about Rebecca. She'd seemed so much more mature, nicer even. But that hadn't lasted. That had been our experience with most people: they changed very little or, if they did change a lot, they soon went back to the way they'd been before the changing. Now Rebecca was pretty much back to being Rebecca, which meant awful. Oh, well. At least she wasn't using her superhuman strength to do any of us grievous bodily harm. We figured we would take what we could get.