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  “I don’t get it,” Shay said. “What’s the big deal about this place?”

  Jacey came clomping back to their spot halfway down the dock, her footsteps making all the wood slats shake. “It’s fun,” she said.

  “No parents,” Brian added as Jacey sat down in his lap and took the pipe from him.

  “And lots of stars.” Lai-wan sounded dreamy, gazing up at the sky with a goofy smile.

  “That’s it?” Shay felt a stab of disappointment. She’d been hearing about the dock for years. People talked about it like it was Vegas or something—things happened at the dock, but nobody would ever say exactly what. And younger kids weren’t allowed there. No losers, geeks, or kids without cars—or friends with cars—either. It was a cool place for cool people. Shay had been expecting … well, she didn’t know. But not just sitting around on the damp wood, watching other people make out. “Why exactly is this fun?”

  “Um, because we’re stoned.” Brian held out the pipe toward Shay.

  She shook her head again. “Olivia and Kaz aren’t.”

  “I’m not, either. Not much,” Chris said. “You don’t have to be; you can still have a good time.” He inched closer to Shay, his hand brushing against the side of her thigh. Shay let it stay there, but she felt like laughing. She’d practically thrown herself at Chris during Kaz’s party, and he’d been too afraid of her to do anything about it. But now that she just treated him like any other guy, he was always flirting.

  “So that’s it? People just come here and hang out?” Shay asked. “It sounded more glam when I’d never seen it.”

  “Well, there’s always the island,” Chris said.

  “That’s a load of crap,” Brian replied. “Total myth.”

  “What is?” Shay asked.

  “Supposedly people swim out to the island in the middle of the river,” Lai-wan said. “You know that little spit of land you see when you take the Route 5 bridge?”

  “I guess.” Shay couldn’t remember ever noticing any island in the river, but then, she couldn’t remember ever looking, either. What else had she missed by not really seeing? When she was Gabriel, she noticed everything.

  “There’s all kinds of stories about kids who swam out there from the dock,” Chris said. “You swim to the island and you carve your name in this big rock there to prove that you did it.”

  “I heard John Fox did it three years ago,” Jacey said. “Remember him? He was a senior when we were freshmen.”

  “He was hot,” Shay said. She’d never even said hello to him, but she remembered that much.

  “He was on the swim team,” Brian put in. “If he did it, that’s why. But I doubt it. You know how fast the current is?”

  “My sister says it’s just an urban legend,” Lai-wan agreed. “And that she’d kill me if I ever actually tried it.”

  “That’s because of the kid who drowned.” It was the first thing Olivia had said all night, and Shay jumped, surprised to see that her best friend had come over to join the group. “Back in the nineties, some sophomore tried to get to the island and got swept away.”

  “No way. That’s the urban legend,” Chris replied. “If somebody actually died, they would’ve ripped out the dock and put up barbed wire.”

  “Is the river really that fast? How far is it?” Shay asked.

  Brian shrugged. “Far enough that you can only barely see it from the end of the dock.”

  “I want to try it.” Shay stood up.

  Everybody gaped at her. “Can you even swim?” Lai-wan asked.

  “Of course.” Shay ignored the trickle of worry making its way up her spine. She’ d taken swimming lessons as a way to exercise without overexerting herself. It kept her heart strong; that’s what Mom had always said. But that was in a pool, always. Shay had never even swum in a lake, or the ocean, or anywhere nonchlorinated.

  But Gabriel did, she thought, remembering the salty taste of the ocean in Greece. He’d been able to swim through the waves with no effort at all, and that was even before he gave up the sun. How fast could he swim once he was a vampire? As fast as he had run in her last vision?

  “Shay, we are not going to have this fight again.” Olivia sounded tired. “Even if you weren’t you, nobody would let you go to the island. Regular people don’t try it, so you definitely can’t.”

  So the silent treatment was done. Unfortunately, Olivia had taken back the role of Shay’s second mom. And right now, Shay didn’t even really want the first one. Her mother turned into more of a Hovercraft every day.

  “Since I’m so irregular, I might be the one to make it,” Shay said. “My new treatments are like being on speed or something. I’m stronger than ever. I’m doing it.”

  She headed off toward the river, the night growing darker around her as the dock left land and went into the water. Shay smelled it, sort of a muddy scent, and she heard the plunking sounds of the waves slapping against the supports underneath her. The footsteps of her friends weren’t far behind.

  “You’re being an idiot,” Olivia practically screamed.

  “Shay, everybody who tries this ends up turning around,” Chris told her, jogging up to Shay’s side. “It’s actually dangerous. And the water’s really cold.”

  “So I’ll swim fast,” she said. “Come on, aren’t you curious? I want to see if anyone’s name is really on that rock.”

  They’d reached the end of the dock, and Shay peered into the darkness. She didn’t have Gabriel’s night vision. She couldn’t see a thing.

  “It’s straight out,” Brian said, “but you can’t get to it if you can’t watch it while you swim.”

  “There.” Shay smiled as her eyes adjusted to the darkness over the water. It wasn’t as clear as Gabriel’s sight, but she could make out the top of a tree, black against the sky. “I see it.”

  “I don’t,” Kaz muttered, peering over the river.

  “Oh my God, I’m getting a flashlight from my car.” Jacey took off running back toward shore. Shay sat down on the end of the dock, dangling her legs over the edge, and pulled off her sneakers.

  “Should I call the cops?” Kaz asked. She didn’t know if he was asking her, or Olivia, or just the universe.

  “You guys are freaking out because you’re wasted. How hard can it really be? I bet it’s much less scary during the day,” Shay said.

  “If you get there, you’ll be famous,” Lai-wan said reverently. “Everyone will know.”

  “That’s worth it,” Shay said. Worth any danger. Worth drowning. Worth trying. It would be worth it to go down having fun and trying something new instead of lying in a bed waiting for her own blood to betray her. “Anyone coming? Buddy system, you know.”

  “I’m your buddy,” Chris said, shocking her.

  She grinned at him, completely forgiving him for Kaz’s party. “Thank you!”

  “If you’re sure …” Chris began.

  “Let’s go.” Shay launched herself off the end of the dock before she could think anymore, before Chris could chicken out, and before Olivia could grab her. She heard a few gasps, and Olivia yelling, and then the black water closed over her head.

  Freezing.

  Shay came up for air, treading water and already regretting her jeans, which felt like wet cement stuck to her legs. It was cold. Beyond cold. “I’m in,” she called up. She had to move or she’d sink. Kicking as hard as she could, she turned herself toward the opposite shore and started swimming.

  Two seconds later there was a splash behind her. Shay didn’t stop. Maybe it was Kaz or Olivia coming to drag her out. Maybe it was Chris. Either way, she was going. A quick glance at the sky showed her the tree she was aiming for.

  “Jesus, the current is strong.” Chris swam up beside her, his teeth chattering.

  “Yeah.” Shay tried to ignore the insistent pull of the water. She had to swim left just to go straight. It was hard to keep track of where the island was. This was why people couldn’t do it, she realized. If they couldn’t see t
hat tree, they didn’t know where to aim. The current pulled them to the side and they probably swam right past the island. “This way,” she sputtered. “Pull left.”

  Chris just grunted, swimming for all he was worth.

  Shay pumped her arms, kicking as hard as she could, powering herself through the water. Her muscles did exactly what she wanted, her heart beating as steady as a drum. Like Gabriel’s.

  What if my strength goes—like it did on the track?

  The thought made the water feel even colder. For a moment, Shay could picture herself sinking, sinking, sinking, her muscles too weak to get her back to the surface.

  “I’m too tired,” Chris gasped from beside her. “We have to turn back.”

  “No, we’re close,” she said. “I see it.” She did, a deeper darkness looming above the choppy water. Twenty more feet and they’d be there.

  Shay’s body wasn’t showing any signs of fatigue. Her fear was only that—fear. But Chris was slowing down. Shay reached out for him and grabbed his hand. “We’re almost there and we can rest,” she cried.

  He nodded, his eyes frightened.

  Shay let him go and swam forward, smooth, even, wonderful strokes, enjoying the push of the current against her body. She kept her gaze fixed on the tree in the darkness, hoping Chris could follow her. In a few seconds she felt her arm hit something hard and slimy—a rock. Shay felt a burst of relief. She ran her hand across the rock until she found the top, then pulled herself up on it. “Chris!” she called. “Give me your hand!”

  Leaning out over the water, she caught hold of him and held on until he could make his way up the rock. Together they crawled across it and onto a narrow spit of land, rocky and barren except for the one twisted tree Shay had seen.

  “We did it!” Shay let out a whoop, yelling so they could hear her back on shore. But if they answered, their voices were lost in the rushing sound of the river. “Where’s the rock?” She scrambled over the hard ground, looking for a boulder.

  “Over here,” Chris said. He flopped down on the ground next to it, panting. “This may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “Worth it though, right? What a complete thrill. Whoo-hoo!” Shay cried.

  “Whoo-hoo,” Chris echoed, without a lot of enthusiasm.

  Shay went over to him, shivering in the night air. There was a huge rock sticking up from the water on the far side of the island. She ran her fingers over it, feeling for carvings. “There,” she said. She leaned closer, peering at the place where she felt an indentation. “Initials.”

  “John Fox?” Chris asked.

  “I don’t know. It’s too dark.” Shay frowned. “How are we even supposed to carve? Do you have a knife?”

  “We could use a smaller rock,” he said. “Or we could just tell everyone we did it. They’re not gonna check.”

  “Wimp,” she teased him.

  “You know it,” Chris answered. Shay threw herself down beside him, grinning.

  What Sick Girl? she thought. I’m famous! Anyone who can make it to the legendary island can’t be just a sick girl.

  “Look at the stars!” Shay urged. “They’re like a million times brighter on this side. Or maybe they just look that way because I’m so pumped!”

  “I can’t believe we have to swim back,” Chris groaned. Shay didn’t think he’d even glanced at the sky.

  Shay lifted herself up onto her elbow and leaned over him. “It won’t be as bad. We can let the current take us downstream if we want, we’ll still hit the shore. We can walk back to the dock.”

  Chris chuckled. “I wouldn’t have thought of that.”

  “I can’t believe you came with me,” she said.

  “I can’t believe you did it at all,” he told her. “You’re not who I thought.”

  “Not Sick Girl,” she murmured. “I never was, inside.”

  “Not Sick Girl at all,” Chris said, pulling her face down to his. He kissed her, his lips cold from the water. But when he opened his mouth it was warm. Shay relaxed into the kiss as he moved his hands across her back, into her hair.

  Gabriel would have looked at the stars, Shay thought absently.

  She opened her eyes, surprised. That was not a thought she needed to be having right now. This was a real kiss. Not like Kaz. That was just an experiment with a friend, a drunken experiment. This was an actual, hot makeout session with a guy she’d liked for ages. All alone, in the dark, with adrenaline pumping through them.

  So why am I bored? Shay wondered.

  Chris held her tightly, their bodies warming each other up from the cold. He was as cute as ever, and he was finally acting the way she wanted … but she just didn’t care. His blond hair was short and straight under her fingers, not thick and curly the way Gabriel’s hair was. His arms around her were muscular, but not lithe like Gabriel’s.

  Gabriel. Shay caught her breath, astonished. It wasn’t Chris Briglia she wanted. It was Gabriel. Gabriel, who wouldn’t start worrying about swimming back before he’d even taken in the enjoyment of being on the island. Gabriel, who would absolutely have looked at the stars.

  Gabriel, who didn’t exist.

  “I still say we could’ve stayed there longer,” Chris griped as they picked their way along the riverbank, heading for the dock. “What are you afraid of?”

  “I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not afraid of anything,” Shay told him. She knew he was talking about how abruptly she’d stopped kissing him, but she didn’t feel like discussing it. What could she say? Sorry, but I’ve decided that I’m more attracted to my imaginary vampire friend than I am to you?

  “There they are!” Jacey’s shriek came floating on the wind. Shay had seen the thin flashlight beam as soon as she’d crawled ashore, but it had still taken almost twenty minutes to walk back upstream to the dock. Now Jacey was shining the light on them.

  Chris held up his hand to block it. “Point that thing somewhere else!”

  Lai-wan clambered down off the dock and ran toward them, throwing her arms around Shay. “Oh my God, you’re okay! Did you do it? Did you guys make it there?”

  “Yeah,” Shay said.

  “But we didn’t carve our names in the rock. Shay was in a hurry to get back,” Chris complained.

  “Right, and also there was nothing to carve with. Next time I’ll remember to bring a pocket knife,” Shay said, annoyed.

  “There’s no next time.” Olivia stood on the dock above them, arms crossed. “You guys are lucky you’re not dead.”

  “You really did it?” Brian asked.

  Shay shot Chris a look, and he finally smiled. “We did,” he said. “We did the island!”

  “Legendary!” Lai-wan cried. “What’s it like out there?”

  “The water’s freezing, and the current is really fast,” Shay said, letting Brian pull her up onto the dock from the riverbank. Chris climbed up behind her. “It was scary, and exciting, and definitely something to experience.”

  “And the island is tiny. It’s like four boulders and a tree,” Chris reported.

  “With a great view of the stars. Anyone have a blanket?” Shay’s teeth chattered as she spoke. She’d been so high on adrenaline ever since they’d jumped back in the river that she hadn’t noticed the cold. But now her wet clothes felt like they were freezing in place, encasing her body in ice.

  “Here.” Kaz took off his jacket and handed it to her.

  “We can go sit in my car,” Jacey offered. “I’ll turn on the heat.”

  “This is ridiculous,” Olivia exploded. “Shay needs to go home and wrap herself up in heating pads or something. She’s probably got hypothermia on top of her blood disease, and you guys are all acting like it’s cool.”

  “It is cool,” Shay insisted, although her head was beginning to ache. The swim out hadn’t been bad, but the swim back had clearly used up a lot of her new-blood strength. “I’m putting it on the list of things I never thought I could do.”

  “Oh yeah, what will you
say?” Olivia snarked. “Acted like a moron by risking my life?”

  “Why do you even care?” Shay yelled. “Jeez, let me have a few moments of fun, will you?”

  “No,” Olivia said. “If it means watching you kill yourself, I’m not going to do that.”

  “Fine. Don’t watch.” Shay turned her back on her so-called best friend and held her hand out to Jacey. “I think we should go sit in your car.”

  “Great.” Jacey pulled the keys from her pocket and headed down the dock. Shay followed without a glance at Olivia. But when they got there, she would ask Jacey to drive her home. Olivia was a buzz kill, but she was also kind of right. Shay couldn’t stop shaking, and if she didn’t get warm soon, she didn’t think her body would recover.

  Besides, it wouldn’t matter if she left now. She was still a living legend.

  “Can you climb up and sneak through your window?” Jacey asked, studying Shay’s house from their parking spot at the curb. “There’s no way your parents will miss the fact that you’re dripping wet.”

  “I can’t,” Shay said. She physically couldn’t—she felt too weak, too close to Shay-normal. But Jacey wasn’t Olivia, she didn’t know the limits of Shay’s strength and she didn’t recognize the signs of weakness. Maybe Jacey would think it meant there was no way to climb up to the second floor. “But it’s only my stepfather. My mom was going to some Neighborhood Watch meeting.”

  “Men never notice anything,” Jacey said with a shrug. “Just run for your room and tell him you’re having girl problems.”

  “Good plan.” Shay hid her smile. If she tried the girl-problems excuse with Martin, he’d probably die of embarrassment, even though he was a doctor. “Thanks for the ride.”

  By the time she got inside the house, Shay felt like an icicle. The cold was so complete that her insides were numb.

  “Shay, you okay?” Martin asked, glancing up from the medical journal he was reading.