Amelia Fang and the Lost Yeti Treasures Read online

  ‘YOU WON’T FIND ANYONE IN ALL THE KINGDOMS AS GOOD AT PAINTING YETIS AS CLIFFORD,’ said Florence’s dad. ‘E’S WELL KNOWN FOR ’IS BRILLIANT USE OF GLITTER PAINTS. CLEMENCE WAS SO ’APPY WE COULD BOOK ’IM IN!’

  ‘I use only the finest glitter paints mixed with the freshest fire tears of the most majestic Flamingo-dragons,’ pronounced Clifford. He stroked his glittery beard in deep thought, then prepared a new blank canvas. ‘Who is my first subject?’ he asked.

  Tangine, who had been stuffing his face with pickled eyeballs, shouted, ‘ME!’ He marched across the room, spreading himself out on the chaise-longue in front of Clifford’s easel, before placing a hand on his forehead.

  ‘Draw me like one of your yetis,’ he said airily.

  Whilst Tangine had his portrait done, Amelia and Grimaldi were digging into the delightfully disgusting feast.

  ‘Galloping goblins,’ said Amelia. ‘I still haven’t told Florence about the pumpkin patch party!’

  ‘Best do it now,’ said Grimaldi, looking a little worried. ‘Just in case she starts making plans for us tomorrow.’

  ‘I’ll do it, don’t worry,’ said Amelia, swallowing a pickled eyeball. ‘I’m having such fun, I wish I didn’t have to leave early. But I really want to go to the pumpkin patch party too. I’m sure Florence will understand.’

  CHAPTER 3

  EMBRACE YOUR INNER YETI

  ‘UNDERSTAND WHAT?’ said Florence, making Amelia jump again.

  ‘Bothering batwings, Florence,’ gasped Amelia. ‘You keep making me jump with your soundless prancing!’

  Florence puffed out her chest proudly. ‘TOP NOTCH PRANCER, ME! SO, WHAT’S UP?’

  ‘Well, you know that it’s the Pumpkineers’ pumpkin patch party tomorrow?’ said Amelia.

  ‘OH, IS IT?’ said Florence, before gulping down a mug full of super-belch and floating towards the ceiling bum-first.

  ‘Well, I’d really like to go along since it’s a special party to welcome all the new Pumpkineers,’ called Amelia. ‘So would it be okay if I asked your dad to call my mum so she can pick me up a bit –’

  ‘WHAT?!’ said Florence. ‘I CAN’T ’EAR YOU FROM UP ’ERE . . . SPEAK UP!’

  Amelia raised her voice. ‘I need to leave a night –’

  ‘BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRP,’ Florence bellowed, before slowly floating back down to ground level. ‘SORRY ’BOUT THAT . . . I FORGOT ’OW STRONG THAT SUPER-BELCH IS! OKAY, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?’

  Amelia tried again. ‘So, at moonrise tomorrow, I need to lea—’

  But before she could finish, a horde of ancient yetis gathered around the food table and began singing loudly.

  ‘HAPPY BIRTHNIGHT TO YOUUUUU

  FULL OF GLITTER AND GOOOOOO

  WE HOPE IT’S A NIGHTMARE

  WITH MANY LUMPS IN YOUR STEEEEW!’

  Florence’s dad brought in a HUGE mud-worm cake, decorated with three hundred and fifty lit candles. It looked as though the whole thing was on fire.

  ‘Make a wish! Make a wish!’ said a small stout yeti, before marching right up to Grand-yeti Clemence and yelling, ‘MAKE IT!’ in her face.

  Clemence sucked in a huge breath, then blew with all her might. A few yetis had to duck as the candle flames went soaring across the room. Everyone cheered, coughed and spluttered as Grand-yeti Clemence closed her eyes tight and made her wish.

  The mud-worm cake was shared out amongst the yetis, then Florence drank another mouthful of super-belch, and floated above the crowd. She cleared her throat to get their attention, then said proudly.

  ‘I JUST WANNA SAY A BIG ’APPY BIRTHNIGHT TO MY GRAND-YETI CLEMENCE. ’ERE’S TO ANUVVA FREE ’UNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS!’

  Everyone raised their arms, then bum-bumped each other and made a toast, ‘TOOOOOO CLEMENCE!’

  Florence continued. ‘AND I’M SO ’APPY TO BE ABLE TO SPEND THIS ’OLE WEEKEND WIV MY MY BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE KINGDOMS.’ She smiled at Amelia, Grimaldi and Tangine. ‘FANKS FOR COMING ’ERE WIV ME. WE’RE GONNA ’AVE SO MUCH FUN!’ Florence burped loudly, the yetis cheered, and she floated back down to ground level.

  Uh oh, thought Amelia. She really needed to tell Florence about having to leave the party early!

  But that was going to have to wait. A yeti grabbed Amelia’s hand and before she knew it, she was being dragged on to the dance floor to perform a traditional yeti prance.

  ‘EMBRACE YOUR INNER YETI!’ Florence bellowed, joining the prancing chain of yetis. It was a graceful dance, and the yetis moved around the room with barely a sound.

  The best part was watching Tangine try to get the hang of it. He gradually became a tangle of limbs and wings before falling flat on to his bottom. ‘All I want to embrace is an ice pack for my sore derrière,’ he groaned.

  After an intense game of musical statues, the yetis decided to play hide and seek. There were certainly PLENTY of places to hide in the Yeti Mountain.

  ‘OKAY EVERYONE,’ bellowed Clemence. ‘I’M GONNA COME FIND YOU IN FIRTY SECONDS!’ She sat on a sofa chair and covered her eyes with her paws. ‘READY . . . STEADY . . . GO! FIRTY . . . TWENNY NINE . . . TWENNY EIGHT . . .’

  The pits rumbled and shook as the ancient yetis thundered out of the Party Pit at some speed. Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and Tangine ran into the tunnels, hearts pounding with adrenaline. Squashy excitedly bounced behind them with a pa-doing, pa-doing, pa-doing.

  ‘WE NEED TO SPLIT UP,’ said Florence. ‘THE YETIVATOR WILL TAKE YOU TO DIFFERENT LEVELS IF YOU WANNA GET FURVA AWAY! GO, GO, GO! ’ Then she ran off and disappeared around a corner.

  ‘I’m going to hide in the toilets!’ said Grimaldi, floating off towards the end of the tunnel. ‘Nobody will expect that!’

  ‘Eww,’ said Tangine. ‘So gross. I’m going to steal Clemence’s idea and pretend I’m a portrait! She’ll never suspect.’ And he ran off back towards the Party Pit.

  Amelia picked Squashy up and looked from side to side. ‘Well, I guess we should hurry up and find a good hiding place,’ she said as she headed towards the yetivator.

  Amelia pressed a big red button on the wall and the doors to the yetivator slid open with a loud DING.

  ‘MAIN LEVEL,’ said a flat sort of voice.

  Amelia stepped into the lift. She stared at the buttons on the wall and felt her brain do a roly-poly. It certainly wasn’t as simple as just picking a floor. As well as numbered buttons, there were buttons with arrows pointing up, down, left, right and diagonally – not to mention buttons with all sorts of other symbols on them.

  ‘Well, I’m going to have to press something,’ Amelia said to Squashy. ‘Otherwise Grand-yeti Clemence will find us straight away!’

  From the Party Pit further down the corridor, Amelia heard Clemence shout, ‘AND ONE! READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!’

  Squashy squeaked in response.

  ‘Okay, okay . . . here goes, Squashy!’ said Amelia urgently. ‘I’ve NO idea where this will take us, but hopefully we’ll find a good hiding place!’

  Amelia closed her eyes and poked at random buttons in no particular order. The doors to the yetivator closed.

  ‘GOING UP, ROUND, BACK, OVER, DIAGONAL LEFT, UNDER AND UP ONCE MORE,’ said the dull lift-voice.

  ‘Uh oh,’ said Amelia.

  And the lift immediately began to move. Very, very quickly.

  Amelia ended up pinned to the wall from the G-force of the lift shooting upwards. Squashy ricocheted off the walls as the yetivator swung around and did a loop-the-loop. It then began to move diagonally and around and around again, before whizzing upwards and eventually slowing to a stop.

  The doors slid open with a DING.

  Amelia stood still for a moment until her head stopped spinning. Squashy was quite green and coughed up a gooey seed ball. She picked him up carefully and stumbled out of the lift on very wobbly legs.

  ‘Let’s take the stairs next time,’ said Amelia shakily, going to sit down on the floor. But as she did, something soft brushed past her leg
, making her jump straight back up. ‘GRIEVING GOBBLEPOTS!’ she shrieked. But when Amelia looked down, nothing was there.

  Amelia clutched Squashy to her chest. Peering down the tunnel, over Squashy’s green-tinged and slightly floppy stalk, she noticed a small bump underneath the carpet. It moved towards Amelia quickly and then, as if by magic, it simply disappeared.

  CHAPTER 4

  IT’S NOT BUMCHEEK POLISH!

  ‘That was odd,’ said Amelia, checking around her for signs of the mysterious bump.

  Squashy sniffed at the carpet furiously. Then he began rolling along the corridor in the direction the strange bump had travelled.

  ‘What’s up, Squashy?’ said Amelia, following him along the tunnel. He squeaked once, but then began to move so quickly that Amelia could hardly keep up. ‘Squashy! Slow down, or I’ll lose you!’

  He sped around corners and pa-doinged up a wonky staircase, stopping every so often to sniff the walls, before whizzing off again. After many twists and turns, clambering up countless stairs, and stumbling through tunnel after tunnel, Amelia found herself back where she’d started.

  ‘Squashy!’ she said, trying to catch her breath. ‘I’m not sure if you’ve understood the rules of hide and seek? We’re meant to hide !’

  Finally Squashy came to a slow stop outside one of the yeti pits. He stared up at the door and frowned.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ asked Amelia. ‘Wait a minute . . . this is Tangine’s room. What’s going on with you, Squashy? You’re acting very strangely.’

  Squashy pa-doinged once and squeaked in frustration. He nudged at the door which was slightly ajar, then rolled inside.

  ‘Hey Squashy! You can’t just roll into someone else’s room! Come back!’ Amelia hurried in after Squashy.

  She gasped and stopped in her tracks. Tangine’s pit was a complete mess.

  It didn’t make sense. Tangine was one of the tidiest creatures she knew. He even took great pride in organising his socks in order of softness. But there was certainly no order here. In fact, it looked as though Tangine had taken every one of his belongings and thrown them around the room in a complete frenzy. What was going on?

  Squashy rolled underneath the bed and began squeaking loudly.

  ‘Squashy! That’s enough !’ said Amelia sternly. As she reached under the bed, feeling along the wall to retrieve the little pumpkin, her hand got stuck in something slimy.

  ‘EWWW!’ she cried, pulling her hand away quickly. It was sparkling fiercely and smelt like unicorn fart and magnificence.

  ‘This must be Tangine’s special polish.’ Amelia peered under the bed. Tangine’s containers of EveryKing Sparkles were scattered on the floor, and they all seemed to be empty.

  ‘What the bats has happened?!’ said Amelia. ‘Come on, Squashy, we’d better go and tell Tangine about this!’

  ‘MY PRECIOUS POLISH!’ Tangine bellowed when he saw the devastation in his pit.

  ‘BOUNCING BATWINGS, TANGINE,’ said Florence. ‘WHAT YOU BEEN DOING?!’

  ‘I didn’t DO anything!’ Tangine cried in despair, gathering up the empty polish containers. ‘Look! There’s not one bit left.’

  ‘There’s a tiny splodge on the floor there,’ said Grimaldi, pointing to a corner of the pit, in an attempt to cheer Tangine up.

  Tangine crawled over to the last remains of the glittery polish and scooped it up into the palm of his hand. ‘I will never be the same without you . . .’ he whispered to the globule.

  ‘Wow,’ said Amelia, looking around the pit properly. ‘Terrence really DID love his super-belch, didn’t he?!’

  The pit walls were covered from top to bottom with framed pictures of Terrence in various poses, nearly always holding a bottle of super-belch. Amelia giggled at one picture of Terrence cradling the belch like a baby.

  ‘’E SURE DID!’ said Clemence’s voice before the old yeti waltzed into Tangine’s pit and chuckled. ‘FOUND YOU! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU!’ she said, pointing at each of the friends in turn. ‘AND . . . YOUUUUU!’ She pointed at Squashy, who waggled his stalk merrily in response. ‘YOU’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS HIDE ‘N’ SEEK GAME.’

  ‘That’s because we STOPPED playing ages ago,’ snapped Tangine.

  ‘OI!’ said Florence. ‘DON’T TALK TO ME GRAND-YETI LIKE THAT.’

  Tangine sighed. ‘I’m sorry Clemence,’ he said. ‘Someone came into my pit and used ALL of my EveryKing Sparkles polish! My cheeks will never be shiny again.’

  ‘OH, PRINCE DAVE, I’M TERRIBLY SORRY TO ’EAR THAT. ALTHOUGH I WOULDN’T WORRY TOO MUCH,’ said Clemence. IT’S NOT LIKE ANYONE EVER SEES YOUR CHEEKS ANYWAY.’

  Tangine frowned in confusion.

  ‘OH!’ said Amelia, almost choking with laughter. ‘It’s not bumcheek polish!’

  Clemence furrowed her fluffy eyebrows, then laughed out loud. ‘AAAAH YOU MEANT THE UVVA CHEEKS, DIDN’T YOU!’

  ‘Well, I’m glad you’re finding this funny!’ said Tangine miserably.

  ‘OH, LIGHTEN UP YOU BIG TOE,’ said Florence. ‘I RECKON YOU JUST USED THE ’OLE LOT WIVOUT REALISING! IT WAS ’ARD TO LOOK DIRECTLY AT YOU.’

  Tangine harrumphed, then raised his eyebrows. ‘I suppose I COULD have . . .’ he said thoughtfully. ‘But no ! I brought twenty tubs with me. Enough to last a whole weekend.’

  ‘We’re sorry, Tangine,’ said Amelia, putting an arm around him. ‘Come on, we’ll help you tidy up this mysterious mess.’

  ‘Who could’ve done this?’ muttered Tangine, folding up pairs of socks into the tiniest neatest pile. ‘Maybe someone is jealous of how fabulous I am!’

  Amelia raised her eyebrows. ‘I don’t think that’s the case,’ she said. ‘Plus, I didn’t see anyone else when I was walking around.’ She pondered for a second. ‘Apart from a weird moving carpet lump.’

  ‘“A weird moving carpet lump?”’ echoed Tangine.

  Amelia shrugged. ‘I’m as baffled as you are,’ she said.

  ‘TANGINE, YOU BIN TRYIN’ TO ESCAPE THROUGH THE WALL?’ said Florence as she pulled out a pair of Tangine’s glittery pantaloons and more socks from underneath the bed. ‘THERE’S AN ’OLE THE SIZE OF SQUASHY UNDER ’ERE! BEST GET DAD TO PATCH THAT UP.’

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ said Tangine, folding his arms. ‘Do I LOOK like I’d lie under the bed eating the WALL?!’ His cheeks became flushed.

  ‘CHILL OUT, YA BIG TOILET BRUSH,’ said Florence, half-smiling. ‘I WAS JUST MESSING WIV YA. PROB’LY JUST NEEDS SOME RE-DECORATING IN ’ERE.’

  ‘SOME OF THESE PITS ARE AS OLD AS US ANCIENTS,’ said Grand-yeti Clemence. ‘I’M SURE A BIT OF PIT-FILLER WILL DO THE TRICK. LAURENCE’LL SORT IT OUT NO PROBLEM.’ She put a hairy arm around a flustered Tangine. ‘NOW, LET’S GO GET YOU A NICE CUP OF YET-TEA, THEN YOU CAN ’ELP ME FIND THE REST OF THE YETIS.’

  ‘Well, I should imagine I would be the most fabulous person at finding everyone,’ Tangine agreed grudgingly.

  ‘QUITE RIGHT,’ said Clemence, winking at the others and leading him away.

  By the time Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi headed back to the Party Pit, Clemence and Tangine had managed to find all of the hidden yetis. The birthnight celebrations were back in full swing. A group of yetis created a yeti-pyramid, others were having a pus pie-gobbling competition and there was a huge queue to have glittery portraits painted by Clifford.

  ‘I’M SO ’APPY YOU GUYS CAME TO CELEBRATE GRAND-YETI CLEMENCE’S BIRFNIGHT WIV ME!’ said Florence. She pulled Amelia, Grimaldi and Tangine into a huge hug. ‘EVEN IF IT’S ONLY FOR A SHORT TIME.’

  ‘At least you had a whole night here before you have to leave,’ said Grimaldi to Amelia.

  Florence loosened her grip and frowned.

  ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN LEAVE ?’ she asked.

  ‘Oops,’ said Grimaldi.

  Amelia put a hand up to her mouth. ‘Pottering pumpkins! I meant to tell you earlier. I’ve just been having so much fun, that I kept getting distracted and forgetting.’

  Florence folded he
r arms.

  ‘It’s the Pumpkineers’ pumpkin patch party tomorrow,’ Amelia began. ‘I was going to ask your dad to call my mum so she can collect me from here a night early, so I can go. I can’t believe I have two parties in one weekend!’

  Florence looked upset. ‘YOU DON’T WANNA STAY ’ERE WIV US AND PLAY?’

  Amelia was a little taken aback. ‘Oh no! I mean, yes ! Of course I do. If the pumpkin patch party hadn’t fallen on the same weekend, I definitely would have stayed. The Pumpkineers Club is brand new, so they’re having a BIG party to welcome us all. It’s going to be SO much fun and I’ve already met some other creatures who are almost as obsessed with pumpkins as I am!’

  Florence grumbled and her frown deepened. ‘SO, YOU’D RATHER HANG OUT WIV YOUR NEW FRIENDS THAN WIV US?’

  ‘I didn’t say that,’ Amelia said, starting to feel a bit flustered. She really hadn’t meant to upset Florence. ‘Just because I have new friends doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you guys.’

  Florence looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with Amelia as everyone else shuffled awkwardly.

  Squashy pa-doinged between Amelia and Florence, giving their feet reassuring nudges.

  ‘Say something helpful,’ whispered Tangine, poking an anxious Grimaldi.

  Grimaldi picked up a tray from the food table. ‘So . . . pickled eyeball anyone?’

  CHAPTER 5

  NOBODY LIKES CHANGE

  Amelia slumped down on a chair and nibbled on a honey-roasted slow worm as she watched Florence on the dance floor with the ancient yetis.

  ‘Well, that went worse than I thought it would,’ said Grimaldi sadly.

  ‘I know,’ agreed Amelia. ‘I didn’t think Florence would get so upset about me leaving early.’

  Grimaldi wasn’t very good at words, but he was good at listening and even better at hugs. He wrapped his arms around Amelia. ‘She’ll be okay,’ he said with a smile.