Passion, Vows & Babies_Unbearable Read online

  “That bad, huh? You must be the husband.”

  I heard words catching in Bear’s throat as he tried to figure out what to tell her.

  “Yes, he is,” I spit out before he could say otherwise. There was no way I wanted Jasper to be considered my husband. In less than twenty-four hours, Bear had been kinder to me and shown me more compassion than Jasper had in our entire relationship.

  The nurse rattled off a bunch of things to Bear about my condition in such a rapid succession that I couldn’t follow her in the slightest. To me, she was an adult and I was a damn Peanut’s character.

  She squeaked her way out of the room and I felt Bear’s lips brush the back of my hand. “As much as I hate to leave your side, wifey”—he laughed a little during a lingering pause—“I really need to take a shower, get a few hours of sleep, and make sure my guys aren’t fuckin’ up too terribly at the shop.”

  I groaned, grabbing for his hand as he started to get up from his chair. “Do you have to? I really don’t want you to leave.” I already felt the stinging of loneliness biting at my heart.

  “I’m afraid so, darlin’. I’ll be back to check on you tonight.” He folded the business card into my hand before kissing the backs of my fingers. “My cell number is on there. You can call me at any time and I can be here within ten minutes if you need me.”

  Chapter 5

  Bear

  “What’ll it be, handsome?” I heard the bartender ask a few seconds after I took a seat at the empty end of the bar.

  I didn’t look up at her while answering, “Double whiskey, neat.”

  “Comin’ right up.”

  The glass was set down on a black napkin in front of me. I didn’t want to drink it. I didn’t want anything. I had gone to the shop, taken care of what I had to, signed the orders, and dealt with payroll, all while ignoring the awkwardness of my guys avoiding talking to me about Abel. They all knew I would address it when I could, knew the subject had to be avoided for the time being—it was a lingering dark cloud that wouldn’t go away until I made it and I just wasn’t strong enough yet. It felt so wrong to sweep it under the rug, even if it was only temporary.

  Sleep wasn’t an option, so after a shower, I found myself bellying up to a bar. It was a reflex, a terrible coping mechanism that had been ingrained in me since I was sixteen and my old man turned me to the bottle when my mother ran out on us because she couldn’t handle being an old lady anymore. I couldn’t blame her. I never thought it was fair to the women who ended up sticking around. The constant worry and uncertainty was something no lady should ever have to be put through. I knew from a very early age that I was going to have to make a choice—either wear a cut or wear a ring. There was no way to truly split your heart and devotion evenly to make it fair to both.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

  I turned to the familiar voice that came from behind me. “Weston Davis, well I’ll be.”

  After pulling out the seat next to me for my old friend, I signaled to the bartender to bring him the same drink I was having.

  “So, how is the mechanic business treating you?” Weston asked before taking a long pull from his glass.

  “It’d be better if some of my usual customers brought their bikes in for maintenance more often.”

  He chuckled a little, shaking his head. “Yeah, my baby sure as hell needs to be brought in. Hell, she needs to be ridden. It’s just with the kids now, I find myself riding less and less. You know how it is.”

  I held up my left hand, showing my empty ring finger while shaking my head. “I still have no idea how that is, man. My bike is the only vehicle I want to drive. I have a truck for parts running and the braggin’ rights, but that’s about it.”

  “Oh, come on, big ol’ Bear will eventually find someone who will make him want to trade in a bitch seat for a car seat.”

  “Ain’t found that kind of a unicorn yet.” I finished the last sip of my drink, slamming the empty glass down hard.

  “So, what brings you over on this side of town?” he asked before throwing back the last of the amber liquid in his glass.

  “A friend is healing up from a little accident at the hospital. I was on my way for a visit when I decided to stop in here.”

  A knowing smile pulled as Weston pointed his tattooed finger at me. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. “Jaxon and I found her wrecked on the side of the road. I’m just playin’ good Samaritan.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Bear.” Weston got up from his seat. “It was good seeing you. I need to head home before Aspen chews me out for getting home late again.”

  “Give my best to the old lady and the kids. Bring your bike by the shop sometime soon. Maybe after I give her a nice tune-up, we can take our hogs out for a little run.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  Scarlett was in the hospital for a few days. Without fail, I visited her morning and night. It was a miracle that she didn’t have any broken bones, but her concussion and road rash had really done a number on her.

  “Are you ready to go home, darlin’?” I held out my hand to help her get out of bed.

  She just sat on the edge, dangling her feet in the air, her gaze locked on the floor.

  “Scarlett?” I put my fingers under her chin, trying to get her to look up at me. “Darlin’? You all right?”

  She didn’t respond, didn’t even move.

  Kneeling, I got down on her level. “Come on, you can talk to me.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. It was the first real tear I had seen since the very first morning I spent with her, and I had chalked that up to the drugs and pain. From what I had come to know about Scarlett, she was one strong-ass broad who didn’t let her emotions get the better of her even in the harshest of situations.

  Under her breath, she murmured, “I don’t have a home to go back to.”

  I didn’t even think to question her on that. If she didn’t have a home, I was going to get her to mine. Without even thinking about it, I dug my cell out of the pocket of my jeans and dialed Jaxon.

  “Yeah?” he answered right away.

  “Can you bring me my truck and drive my bike back to my place?”

  “You’re at the hospital?”

  “Yes. And bring some women’s clothes that would fit Scarlett. She’s probably about your old lady’s size.”

  “Be there in twenty.”

  I ended the call and sank down on the bed next to Scarlett. “I know I’m still a stranger and I promise I’m not going to force myself into your life after this. Just let me get ya out of here.”

  She put her head on my shoulder and I instinctively wrapped my arm around her, tucking her small frame into my side.

  “Why are you single?” she asked, nuzzling up into the crook of my shoulder.

  “I’m married to my club. I never thought it would be fair to a woman to make her fight for my attention when my first priority was always to my brethren.” It was the first time I had admitted that to anyone. It was the most honest answer I could have ever given. Other than Ryder, I had been the youngest Unacceptable to ever be patched as a president. That was something I never took lightly.

  “That just means you haven’t found the right old lady yet. The right woman will stand by you and your club equally, love you for the man and the cut, one and the same.”

  Her words shot through me, piercing right into my core. In that instant, I felt my heart start to beat for the first time.

  She shifted to look up at me. “Why are you smiling?” she asked.

  I hadn’t even realized I was. “I was thinking about a husband and wife that have a love like the one you just described.”

  “I would really like to meet them.”

  I kissed her forehead, hiding the fact that it broke me to say the next sentence out loud. “She’s a widow now.”

  “I’m so sorry. That’s awful.” I could hear how sincere her statement was. It wasn’t the usual knee
-jerk apology that normally comes because people don’t know what else to say.

  “I am too.”

  “You were close to them, weren’t you?”

  “He was my brother, and she will forever be like a sister to me.”

  The sound of Jaxon clearing his throat to announce his arrival saved me from having to continue one of the hardest conversations I’d ever had.

  “Your chariot has arrived, miss.” While bowing, Jaxon held out a plastic bag full of clothes for Scarlett to take.

  “Why thank you, kind sir. I cannot wait to wear something that doesn’t tie in the back and expose my ass if I’m not careful.” Scarlett faked a curtsy before ducking into the bathroom to get dressed.

  I patted Jaxon on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

  “No worries. I’m glad she’s doin’ better. The truck is in a spot right out front. You won’t be able to miss it.”

  We traded keys.

  “See you in church tonight,” I said as I hugged my second in command.

  “I’ll let the guys know. It will be good to get back into the swing of things. I think we all need it.”

  I nodded in agreement. “Any word from the other presidents?”

  “They’re all at Wheeler’s plus a few more. Maccon and Reese were the last to show up a few hours ago.”

  “What’s Wheeler’s?” Scarlett asked as she emerged from the bathroom.

  I turned to her, putting my arm around her tiny shoulders to start to walk her out. “It’s the name of our auto shop.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen that place a few times when I’ve come over on this side of town.”

  “Well, I’ll be takin’ you over that way when you’re feelin’ up to ridin’ again. Your bike is ready to go.”

  The excitement that emanated from her was palpable. “Really? I can’t believe it. She’s fine?”

  I kissed the top of her head. “Good as new. I wasn’t going to let you down.”

  It didn’t take long for us to get to my tiny house at the end of a dirt road. It was an Unacceptable thing; we all felt more comfortable living far away from the beaten path.

  “Wow! This place is great,” Scarlett remarked before getting out of my Denali.

  “It’s not much, but it’s home.” I showed her around the first floor. “Make yourself comfortable. My bedroom is right at the top of the stairs if you get tired and want to get some sleep. I need to head to the shop and take care of some things for a few hours. Are you all right with that?”

  Scarlett sank down onto the couch while sighing with relief. “I am just so glad to be out of that stuffy, smelly hospital room.”

  “I haven’t been around here much since getting back to town, so I don’t think there’s anything edible left in my fridge. There’s most likely a few beers and in the side drawer there are tons of takeout menus for the places that deliver out this way. Your best bet is Al’s Pizza. It’s not the greatest, but it gets the job done. I’ll leave some cash on the kitchen table in case you get hungry.”

  “You’re pretty great, did you know that?” Her coy smile made me feel drunk. Walking away from her was getting harder and harder. I craved to drink from her lips and get intoxicated on her, but I knew with one kiss, I would be done for.

  “I’m just me, darlin’, and I ain’t nothin’ special.”

  “Keep telling yourself that. I hear it’s good to lie to yourself to keep from gettin’ too big of a head.”

  My entire chapter sat around our table with the presidents and vice presidents of the other four charters of the Unacceptables. The tension in the room couldn’t even have been cut with a knife; we needed a damn chainsaw to break through it.

  “I wish this meeting was called under better circumstances. First, I want to express my condolences once again to Ryder and Holt. Saying Abel will be missed is a complete understatement.” I let the men all say their piece to the two before I continued with my speech. “It goes without sayin’ that this tragedy should have been and could have been avoided. For that, I take full responsibility. Brothers, I am truly sorry. Some of you in this room are already privy to the information I am about to share, but the majority are not.” I cleared my throat. “Please understand that this information comes to you with a heavy heart and all shady dealings have ceased completely. I also urge you all to share this information with your members as soon as you return home. This should not be kept secret. We all wear the same skull and bones on our backs and secrets are part of what got us in this damn mess in the first place. I urge you all to learn from this tragedy and become more forthcoming with information with one another.

  “I found out about an easy money drug run that was dealing with heroin and cocaine. It was being stored not too far up the coast from Vilas. Kane, Abel, and I went in on it together, thinking that if it panned out and was successful, we would bring it to the rest of the charters and all the members. I had no idea about the Sinners’ involvement. Once they heard what we were trying, unknowingly undermining their involvement and basically cutting them and whoever was employing them out of the drug trade in the area, they retaliated. This entire situation is something I will regret until I am six feet under.”

  I glanced over at Ryder and his father. “Either of you have anything to add?”

  Holt stood. Even though it had only been a little over a week since I had seen him, he looked like he had aged at least ten years. His grief was seriously getting the better of him. “Abel was my best friend. He had been since I was a punk kid trying to learn my way around an engine. I didn’t know a carburetor from a hole in the ground, but Abel took me under his wing. I proudly stood by his side as his second and now I am proud to see my son, Ryder, take his spot. Our charter is wounded, but not broken. In time, we will start to heal. I know I can speak for all the guys of the Vilas charter when I say we need time. We can’t afford any more casualties right now. I know our normal course is to seek swift and loud vengeance, but right now, we need to lay low.”

  Ryder stood next to his father. He put his hand in the air, standing tall and proud, addressing all the members. “I know there is a lot of skepticism, not just in my chapter, but with all men who wear the skull and bones on their backs, about my age and what that means when it comes to my ability to be an effective leader. I am here to put your minds at ease. Abel wasn’t just my father-in-law, he was my mentor. I will do everything in my power to live up to his legacy and make each and every one of you proud.”

  After the two men took their seats, Maccon addressed the room. “Being the elder in this group now, only being a few months younger than Abel, I do have to say that having some rest before wielding the gavels and seeking revenge seems to be for the best right now. Between old farts like me who are too set in our ways and much too narrow in our senile vision and the new age of the regime, the future looks brighter than it ever has for our organization. I do want to stress that we need to make a stand, in due time, against our unknown adversary. We cannot appear weak in the eyes of our enemies, and this murder must be avenged.”

  “No one is saying Abel’s death will go without punishment to the culprits, brother,” Holt responded. “I am just trying to keep my club whole for as long as possible.”

  Chapter 6

  Scarlett

  A few hours passed and Bear was still out. I wasn’t a stranger to the late-night hours of club business. I flipped through channel after channel, not finding anything that could keep my attention for more than a few minutes. As dusk began to settle, sleepiness started to take over. Climbing the stairs, I tiptoed into Bear’s room. Even though I was alone in the house, I was still scared to make too much noise. I feared anything more than a whisper might disturb the peacefulness that blanketed the entire home.

  I grabbed a white shirt from the top drawer of the dresser. Holding it up to my nose, I breathed in the woody musk of Bear’s masculine scent. It was so comforting and completely inebriating. Stripping down, I pulled his shirt over my head and crawled into his gigantic, pl
ush bed with nothing else on but the covers. I curled up in the sheets, wrapping them tightly around my body. As I drifted off to sleep, I pretended his strong arms were cradling me.

  “Scarlett.” Bear’s husky voice glided into my ear as he softly woke me up. “Darlin’, don’t move.” His calloused fingertips glided up under the thin cotton that covered my stomach and breasts, exploring my skin for the first time. His deep brown eyes locked with mine as I gasped to catch the breath his slightest of touches stole from me.

  Goose bumps covered my body while he left no inch of my chest, shoulders, and neck untouched. His hot breath curled around my ear as he whispered, “You’re so stunning, sweetheart. I’ve been cravin’ this since you locked your fingers with mine that first night in the hospital room.”

  “Oh, Bear.” I whimpered, turning my head slightly so our lips finally connected.

  Instantly our bare bodies were pressing against each other. His fingers teased and explored as our lips danced in a perfect rhythm. The sensations coursed through my body like lightning in a darkened sky—simple, seductive, captivating.

  “Scarlett.” The sound of my name broke through my love-drunk dream state. The bed sinking next to me made me snap to attention. My dream had felt too real. Suddenly, I was sad it had been just a figment of my imagination.

  Had I imagined all the attraction too? A sinking feeling pulled at my heart as I worried that I had built everything up in my mind.

  Even though Bear had been nothing but a perfect gentleman around me, that was all he had been. Even though I thought there were flirtations, it had been so long since I’d had to read subtle cues like that, I could have been completely off base. Jasper and I had slowly evolved into glorified roommates over the years. Yes, we were married and I thought everything was fine, but looking back, that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. In the hospital, I’d had plenty of time to reflect, and our red-hot passionate love had fizzled out into nothing. I should have been furious that my marriage was over and had ended the way it had, but I wasn’t. I’d thought I would mourn the loss of the love of my life, but I had come to find that I was not in love with Jasper at all, and maybe never have been. Lilith was scum for going behind my back like she had, but in so many ways, she’d done me a huge favor.