Cyanide and Happiness Read online

  Dedicated to Geff

  Many thanks to Jeannine Dillon for her ridiculous amount of patience, Tom Fulp for giving us a launching pad to make our hobby a career, Maddox and the Tomorrow’s Nobody guys for graciously letting us crash their Comic Con booth, our friends and family for their never-ending support and of course our fans for being so amazing.

  Contents

  Dedication

  Foreword

  Comics

  The New Ones

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Foreword

  Dear Reader,

  If you picked up this book, congratulations. You’ve taken the first step toward making us wealthy.

  For those of you who are already Cyanide & Happiness readers, what you’re holding in your hands is a collection of what we think is some of our best work. In addition, we’ve made thirty brand new, never-before-seen, “too hot for the Internet” comics. You’re probably flipping to them now (pp127).

  And of course, for those of you who’ve never heard of Cyanide & Happiness, boy are you in for a surprise! What follows is a hand-picked collection from the daily online comic run by four dudes from all over the world. That’s right, we don’t even work together. We didn’t even meet until two years ago, though we’ve been drawing the comic for four years and running. We were bound not by cultures and borders, but by our love for putting cute characters into awful, awful situations.

  That’s another thing. These comics get pretty crazy. If you’re younger than 15 or older than 50 there is an 87% chance something in this book will offend you. Our team of humour analysts has confirmed this.

  So carry on, enjoy yourself. You’ve been warned. These aren’t your grandma’s Sunday funnies, but I think that’s why we like them. Your grandma’s sort of a bitch.

  –Kris, Rob, Matt & Dave

  About the Authors

  KRIS

  Kris Wilson is a nimble creature, entertaining himself in his natural habitat of Fort Bridger, Wyoming. Growing up in a small town, Kris drew constantly to avoid neurologically damaging boredom. He began drawing Cyanide & Happiness comics at the ripe young age of 16. These early strips were shared with the other dudes and together they developed Cyanide & Happiness into what it is today.

  Kris’s mild-mannered alter ego enjoys making music, illustrating, painting, swearing, cartwheels, and arson. If you ever see him around, give him all your stuff.

  ROB

  Rob DenBleyker, the best kisser of the four, hails all the way from Dallas, TX. It’s not quite in the heart of Texas, it’s more like the left collarbone location-wise. Texas’ left, not yours. Rob writes/draws for Cyanide & Happiness, but originally started out doing animation. He still dabbles in it from time to time to help produce animated shorts at Explosm.net.

  He joined the Cyanide & Happiness crew just after Kris did, in 2005. He plays cello, piano and people for fools.

  MATT

  Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old t-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. When not adding even more filth to the internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts.

  Once a graphic design major, he designed Explosm from the ground up. Thank god that comic thing took off, though. Graphic design is boring as hell. It does have some positive aspects, though. His vast knowledge of the graphic arts obviously lends itself to the rich and deeply detailed stick figures he draws in the comics.

  He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall.

  DAVE

  Dave McElfatrick is the second oldest of the Explosm team, and therefore statistically the second earliest to die. Dave, unlike the other Explosm guys, hails not from America but from the small town of Coleraine in Northern Ireland. As a result, he has a stupid accent and likes to drink copious amounts of beer. He is currently living in the fair city of Belfast, where he writes and draws for Cyanide & Happiness.

  When not indulging his keen interest in animation and animated film (an interest evident in his work with the Cyanide & Happiness animated cartoons), Dave enjoys writing bad music, passing judgement on other bad music, playing guitar badly, illustrating badly, and taking in the local scenery (badly). It’s usually quite blurry from the night before. He has two little dogs. They’re really cute.

  Copyright

  CYANIDE & HAPPINESS. © 2010 by Kris Wilson, Rob DenBleyker, Matt Melvin, and Dave McElfatrick. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  FIRST EDITION

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

  ISBN: 978-0-06-191479-9

  EPub Edition © 2010 ISBN: 9780062043641

  Version 08092013

  10 11 12 13 14 ID/WCV 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  About the Publisher

  Australia

  HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.

  Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street

  Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia

  http://www.harpercollins.com.au

  Canada

  HarperCollins Canada

  2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor

  Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada

  http://www.harpercollins.ca

  New Zealand

  HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited

  P.O. Box 1

  Auckland, New Zealand

  http://www.harpercollins.co.nz

  United Kingdom

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

  77-85 Fulham Palace Road

  London, W6 8JB, UK

  http://www.harpercollins.co.uk

  United States

  HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  10 East 53rd Street

  New York, NY 10022

  http://www.harpercollins.com

 

 

  Kris Wilson, Cyanide and Happiness

  Thanks for reading the books on GrayCity.Net