A Friendly Town That's Almost Always by the Ocean! Read online

  The cats watched, too. They lived on the sandy banks, sharpening their claws on the rocks and catching crabs that scuttled too far from the water.

  The cats loved the mermaids. After all, mermaids are half fish.

  One night, the mermaids read a warning in the stars. An enemy was plotting to take the rocks, banishing the mermaids from the coast and sending them to the depths of the ocean.

  But who was the enemy?

  The mermaids had noticed the hungry way the cats eyed the rocks. And so they confronted the cats first.

  “Banish you out to sea?” the cats replied. “Heavens no. If anything, we’d like you to come closer. And what could we possibly want with the rocks?”

  The mermaids considered this.

  “If you ask us,” the cats continued, “it is the dogs who wish to take the rocks. They grow tired of performing tricks for you.”

  The mermaids looked at one another. It was true, the dogs were very good at performing tricks. They really were very tricky. The dogs would probably rather rest on the rocks than perform trick after trick in the water.

  The dogs, the mermaids realized with horror, were the real enemy.

  So the mermaids devised a plan. They waited until a night when the moon was nowhere to be seen. Then they unwound the seaweed from their hair, leaped into the water, and challenged the dogs to a game of tug-of-war.

  The dogs happily agreed to play. The cats ventured out onto the rocks to watch the game. As the mermaids tugged and tugged and the dogs wagged and wagged, the tide began to retreat. The mermaids and dogs drifted farther out to sea until they were mere specks in the distance. As the sun began to rise, the mermaids let go of the seaweed. The tide vanished beyond the horizon.

  So did the dogs.

  The mermaids returned to the rocks, where they found their cat friends waiting. Exhausted, the mermaids fell asleep as the cats’ smiles grew wider and wider and wider….

  The dogs were never seen again. But on moonless nights, their distant howls can be heard from the rocks. AROOOOO!

  Authors’ note: Much like dinosaurs or dodo birds, scientists don’t know exactly how or why mermaids went extinct. All we know for sure is that they definitely existed.

  Unlike dogs, which are, of course, just a myth.

  FEELING CRABBY?

  by Jules, Fifth-Grade Star Reporter

  As many students have probably noticed, this morning the beach was covered in a large cast of black crabs after last night’s unexpected Severely Low Tide.

  These crabs range in size from “pea” to “soccer ball,” and the largest ones appear to have triple-jointed legs. The new crabs have scared off the regular pink crabs, who have gone into hiding in the basement of Lost Soles shoe store. The owner, Miss Meiko, is celebrating her store’s new inhabitants with a buy-one, get-one-half-off sale on all footwear. But take a tip from this reporter, who tried on a cute pair of sneakers during her investigation: check the inside of the shoe before you stick your foot in it, or you just might lose a toe!

  As for the new black crabs, not much else is known about them. They scuttle extra fast, making them almost impossible to catch. When the tide came in late this morning, witnesses reported seeing them stack on top of one another to form pyramids on the driftwood. One witness thought it looked like the crabs were trying to avoid getting wet. This reporter finds their behavior highly suspicious, as crabs usually love water, and will report more as the situation develops.

  PEARLS OF WISDOM

  by Miss J, Totally Anonymous Advice Columnist

  Dear Miss J,

  My family is really big and REALLY loud. I’m the youngest and the quietest. My friends talk over me a lot, too. Sometimes I feel like I’m invisible! How can I get everyone to pay attention to me?

  Sincerely,

  A Mouse

  Dear Mouse,

  You should do something BIG to get your family and friends’ attention! Try dyeing your hair pink, or wearing extra-loud clompy boots, or using a megaphone when you talk. Ignoring someone is extremely rude, and your friends and family should know better. Good luck!

  Miss J

  ALERT: Several gallons of milk have gone missing from the cafeteria. If you have any information, please contact Nicky or Ricky in the cafeteria.

  A ray of sunlight shone weakly through the fog. The clotted seaweed by the seashore stank less than yesterday. Nia’s nanny wasn’t making fish loaf for supper.

  Those were all reasons to be excited. But not Nia’s reason.

  “He’s coming today!” she told the seagulls on her way to school.

  “He’s coming today!” she told her classmates, Ms. Grimalkin, and Mr. Zapple with his mouth full of Indian food from the new deli.

  “Today!” she told the rock cats on her way home. They stared back at her with yellow eyes.

  The seagulls typically made big postal deliveries around noon. But as Nia sprinted up the driveway to her house, she discovered the porch was empty. Her heart broke into a thousand million pieces. (That’s how it felt to Nia, anyway.)

  She threw open the double front doors. “Nannyyyy!” she cried. “Where is he?”

  “He’s in your room, mija,” her nanny called from the living room, where she was watching her three o’clock telenovela.

  “Thank you!”

  Nia ran up her family’s spiral staircase and into her room. A small wooden crate sat in the middle of her bed. It had holes punched in the lid and DO NOT SHAKE painted on the side.

  The crate shook.

  Nia shrieked, jumping up and down. Then she undid the latch. The tiniest pig she’d ever seen somersaulted out. He was light pink with gray spots. Nia kissed him on the end of his snout, then grabbed a teacup from her tea party set and held him up to compare.

  “Almost exactly the same size,” she said.

  “Snort,” said the pig.

  “I think I’ll call you Earl Grey.”

  “Snuffle,” said Earl Grey.

  Nia had wanted a teacup pig as long as she could remember. Usually, her mom and dad bought her whatever she wanted, but that was mostly stuff like dresses and sports equipment and fancy cameras. A real, live pig was another story.

  “¿Un puerco?” her mom always said, wrinkling her nose, while her dad made jokes about carnitas and bacon.

  But lately, the family’s international real estate business had grown more successful, and they’d been traveling to Mexico City much more often. “I need a companion!” Nia had begged them in her most dramatic fashion. “Desperately. Nanny spends all her time watching telenovelas. And I can’t fit her in my pocket, even if I wanted to.”

  At long last, Nia had managed to convince them.

  And now her dream had come true!

  She beamed at Earl Grey. He smiled back. Nia took one of her hair ribbons and tied it onto his curly tail, then stuffed him inside the teacup and took a picture with her fancy camera.

  For breakfast, she fed Earl Grey a big bowl of oatmeal, as per the instructions in The Care and Training of Teacup Pigs. When he was finished, she slipped a collar over his head, then walked him to school on a leash. The rock cats stared hungrily as she passed.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Nia told them.

  At school, everybody crowded around Nia and her new pet. “This is Earl Grey,” she said proudly. “He’s a purebred tea-cup pig!”

  “Aww,” Quincy said. “What a cute little piggie.”

  “Are you sure he’s a pig?” Jules asked, flipping back her blond curls. “He looks like a hamster.”

  Earl Grey snorted indignantly.

  “He’s definitely a teacup pig!” Nia said. “I checked. And besides, I ordered him from a breeder on the Internet.”

  “You mean, your parents ordered him,” Jules said.

  Nia rolled her eyes. Jules, the class reporter, was Nia’s best friend. She was also Nia’s greatest rival. That meant they bickered constantly—but if anyone else tried to bicker with Jules, they had Nia to answer to.
And the other way around.

  “You’re so lucky,” Finn said. “My parents only order takeout food.”

  “He can sit right here, if you like,” Ms. Grimalkin said, tapping her sharp, pointy nails on Nia’s desk. “He’s so adorable. I could just eat him up!”

  Earl Grey sat on Nia’s desk all through class. He paid attention to every one of Ms. Grimalkin’s lessons, which made Nia feel even prouder.

  At lunchtime, the cafeteria workers brought Earl Grey a bowl of oatmeal. They all stuck around to watch him eat. “We had to make it with water,” said Ricky, his burly arms crossed over his barrel chest. “Somebody’s been stealing our milk.”

  “That’s okay,” Nia said as Earl Grey dove into the bowl face-first. “He seems to like it just fine.”

  “He’s the cutest pig I’ve ever seen,” said Nicky, patting Earl Grey’s head. “And the hungriest!”

  That night, Earl Grey curled up at the foot of Nia’s bed. Her heart glowed with the warmth of a thousand suns. (That’s how it felt to Nia, anyway.)

  The next morning, she fed him a fresh bowl of oatmeal. Then she tried to stuff him inside the teacup again. But for some reason, he wouldn’t fit. In fact, he appeared to have tripled in size overnight.

  “Too much oatmeal!” Nia scolded. “Then again, I suppose if anyone’s allowed to eat like a pig, it’s a pig.”

  “Snuffle,” replied Earl Grey.

  Nia put the teacup on Earl Grey’s head and took a picture.

  At school, Earl Grey sat on Nia’s desk again. But now she had to lean to the side to see around him.

  “Is it normal for pigs to grow that fast?” asked Davy. “Earl Grey looks a lot bigger.”

  “You’re seeing things, Damian,” Nia said. But she wondered.

  At lunch, they learned the milk truck hadn’t even made it to school that day. “Something popped every single one of its tires,” Ricky said grouchily. “Something real sharp.”

  But she cheered up as they all watched Earl Grey eat. The pig gobbled up his oatmeal so quickly, Nicky brought him a second bowl, then a third.

  “Snort!” Earl Grey said happily, spraying oatmeal everywhere.

  “Hmm,” Nia said.

  The morning after that, the teacup wouldn’t even fit on Earl Grey’s head. Nia removed the teacup and scowled at it. “What else is this thing good for?”

  She used one of her ribbons to tie the teacup to Earl Grey’s curly tail. She got out her camera, then shook her head and put it away.

  As Nia and Earl Grey walked to school, Finn and Runa caught up with them. “Did you ever hear about the time there was a blizzard way up in the mountains?” Runa asked Nia. “And a snowball started rolling down the hill, and it got bigger and bigger and bigger? Until it rolled right into town and exploded into a million billion snowflakes?”

  “Suuuuure,” Nia said.

  Everybody knew Runa’s stories were mostly make-believe. But still, Nia couldn’t help picturing Earl Grey rolling down a hill, getting bigger and bigger and bigger, until…

  “Pop,” she said.

  Beside her, Earl Grey let out an apprehensive snuffle.

  When they entered the classroom, Earl Grey tried to sit on Nia’s desk as usual. The desk creaked and groaned under his weight.

  “What is that?” Jules asked. “It sounds like a dying seagull.”

  “I don’t hear anything,” Nia lied.

  Suddenly Nia’s desk broke, falling to the ground with a deafening crash. Earl Grey was sent tumbling tail over snout. “Oink! Oink!” he squealed.

  “Oh no!” Nia exclaimed. She tried to pick him up, but he was too big. She patted him on the head to make him feel better.

  Ms. Grimalkin called in Cosmo the janitor to fix Nia’s desk. When he saw Earl Grey, he raised his eyebrows. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

  “He’s my teacup pig,” Nia said. “His name’s Earl Grey.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Nia nodded. “I’m the one who named him.”

  “I mean, are you sure he’s a teacup pig?”

  “Well, he’s definitely not a hamster.”

  Cosmo scratched his beard. “He doesn’t look teacup-size, is all. In fact, he looks an awful lot like a watch hog.”

  Nia’s heart began to flip-flop. “A watch hog?” she repeated.

  “A purebred watch hog, I’d say.”

  “Uh-oh,” Ms. Grimalkin said. “Watch hogs aren’t allowed in the classroom. The PTA President sent out a notification last week.”

  Nia groaned. The PTA President had rules for everything. “Could you double-check for me, please?”

  Ms. Grimalkin pulled out a thick binder and flipped through it. “Let’s see. Walruses, Warthogs, Wasps…Ah, there it is: Watch Hogs. I’m sorry, Nia. Earl Grey will have to wait outside.”

  “Okay,” Nia said.

  An ocean of tears pressed behind her eyes. (That’s how it felt to Nia, anyway.) She tied Earl Grey’s leash to her desk and strung it out the window, where the watch hog waited patiently on the crunchy, shell-strewn grass. Every time Nia glanced outside, he looked bigger.

  Nia bit her fingernails. She would call the breeder when she got home, she decided, and give him a piece of her mind. Nia liked Earl Grey, but she hadn’t always wanted a watch hog. She’d wanted a teacup pig.

  All of a sudden there was a high-pitched wailing outside.

  HWEEE! HWEEE! HWEEE!

  “Oh dear,” Quincy said worriedly. “I think that’s the fire alarm. Ms. Grimalkin, should I go find a hose?”

  “No way!” Jules said. “It sounds like the hurricane siren. Ms. Grimalkin, should we grab our umbrellas?”

  Then came a hissing and spitting sound. The wailing grew even louder. But it didn’t quite sound like a siren, or even an alarm. In fact, it sounded an awful lot like…a pig.

  Nia ran to the window to look.

  Earl Grey had a rock cat by the tail! Rock cats almost never visited the schoolyard—and this cat was the angriest one Nia had ever seen. It twisted and flailed, trying to claw Earl Grey, but its paws couldn’t reach. Earl Grey squealed and squealed. The cat yowled and yowled.

  All the other kids crowded behind Nia.

  “Wow!” exclaimed Runa. “Your pig is super brave.”

  Even Jules looked impressed. “Yeah, those rock cats are awfully mean.”

  “Really?” Davy asked. “They smile more than the cats I’m used to.”

  “That’s because they’re always up to something,” Finn said, but his tiny voice was drowned out by a pathetic cry from outside.

  “MROOOW,” the rock cat wailed.

  “Oh, sorry,” Nia said. “Earl Grey! You can put it down now!”

  Earl Grey released the rock cat. It darted away, wailing at the top of its lungs. Several other rock cats followed, leaping across the schoolyard toward the sea.

  At lunch, the cafeteria workers made Earl Grey an extra-large helping of oatmeal, served in their biggest mixing bowl. It was more delicious than usual, since it was made with hot milk instead of water.

  “Turns out the rock cats were getting into the milk,” said Nicky. “Although someone must’ve unlocked the back door to let them in…”

  “Rumor has it your teacup pig is the one who squealed?” asked Ricky.

  “Yep!” Nia said proudly. “Except he’s not a teacup pig. He’s a purebred watch hog.”

  Earl Grey smiled up at Nia, dripping oatmeal all over her shoes.

  Nia smiled back at him, her heart so filled with love the entire solar system was playing pinball inside her chest, zinging and zapping and sparkling with comets and meteors and supernovas. (That’s how it felt to Nia, anyway.)

  (And to Earl Grey, too.)

  NOTIFICATION: TOWN TIDE ALERTS

  Courtesy of the Town Committee for Lunar Phase Observance and Moontime Celebration

  LOW TIDE

  Water level: Pretty low.

  Ideal for: Fishing, clam digging, and sunbathing.

  SEVERELY
LOW TIDE

  Water level: Distant line on the horizon.

  Ideal for: Sand-castle building, tide-pool exploring, and collecting shells and teeth.

  WARNING: Do not attempt to walk all the way out to the water. If you can’t see the bluffs, you’ve gone out too far. Turn back immediately.

  VANISHING TIDE

  Water level: Nonexistent.

  Ideal for: Bathymetry research, swimming lessons for aquaphobes.

  SPECIAL NOTE: Avoid collecting seaweed during Vanishing Tide, as they feel very exposed and would like some privacy.

  HIGH TIDE

  Water level: Pretty high.

  Ideal for: Surfing, snorkeling, and scuba diving.

  EXTREMELY HIGH TIDE

  Water level: May reach town center.

  Ideal for: Street surfing and extreme synchronized swimming (license required).

  WARNING: Seal your windows and doors. Galoshes are recommended. Be sure nonamphibious pets, such as gerbils and watch hogs, have access to flotation devices.

  WILDCARD TIDE

  Any of the aforementioned tides may occur at any time. Twice as fun as Hanger Cliffs Water Park, and half as deadly!

  NOTIFICATION: WATER PARK FLYER

  NEW STUDENT SURVEY

  by Davy Jones

  1. Why did you move to Topsea?

  My mom made me.

  2. What are you most excited to learn about at Topsea School, and why?

  I like math, because it makes sense. But the way Ms. Grimalkin teaches it is weird. When she runs out of chalk, she solves problems by scratching them on the wall.

  3. What’s your biggest fear?

  Getting attacked by those rock cats. They give me the CREEPS!

  4. What’s your favorite hobby?

  Fishing.

  5. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

  Pistachio.

  6. Do you have any other thoughts you’d like to share?

  Mostly, I’m just confused.

  Like, how do I KNOW when the tides will change?

  What exactly IS a bathymetrist? Talise explained three times and I still don’t get it. (And I can never remember how to pronounce it.)