The Tales Of The Heptameron, Vol. IV. (of V.) Read online

  _TALE XXXIV_.

  _Two Grey Friars, while listening to secrets that did not concern them, misunderstood the language of a butcher and endangered their lives_. (1)

  Between Nyort and Fors there is a village called Grip, (2) which belongsto the Lord of Fors.

  1 This story is evidently founded upon fact; the incidents must have occurred prior to 1530.--L.

  2 Gript, a little village on the Courance, eight miles south of Niort (Deux-Sevres), produces some of the best white wine in this part of France. Its church of St. Aubin stood partly in the diocese of Poitiers, partly in that of Saintes, the altar being in the former, and the door in the latter one. This is the only known instance of the kind in France. Fors, a few miles distant from Gript, was a fief which Catherine, daughter of Artus de Vivonne, brought in marriage to James Poussart, knight, who witnessed the Queen of Navarre's marriage contract, signing himself, "Seigneur de Fors, Bailly du Berry." He is often mentioned in the Queen's letters.--See Genin's _Lettres de Marguerite, &c_, pp. 243-244, 258-259, 332.--L. and M.

  It happened one day that two Grey Friars, on their way from Nyort,arrived very late at this place, Grip, and lodged in the house of abutcher. Now, as there was nothing between their host's room and theirown but a badly joined partition of wood, they had a mind to listen towhat the husband might say to his wife when he was in bed with her, andaccordingly they set their ears close to the head of their host's bed.He, having no thought of his lodgers, spoke privately with his wifeconcerning their household, and said to her--

  "I must rise betimes in the morning, sweetheart, and see after our GreyFriars. One of them is very fat, and must be killed; we will salt himforthwith and make a good profit off him."

  And although by "Grey Friars" he meant his pigs, the two poor brethren,on hearing this plot, felt sure that they themselves were spoken of, (3)and so waited with great fear and trembling for the dawn.

  3 The butcher doubtless called his pigs "Grey Friars" in allusion to the latter's gluttony and uncleanly habits. Pigs are even nowadays termed _moines_ (monks) by the peasantry in some parts of France. Moreover, the French often render our expression "fat as a pig" by "fat as a monk."--Ed.

  One of them was very fat and the other rather lean. The fat one wishedto confess himself to his companion, saying that a butcher who had lostthe love and fear of God would think no more of slaughtering him than ifhe were an ox or any other beast; and adding that as they were shut upin their room and could not leave it without passing through thatof their host, they must needs look upon themselves as dead men, andcommend their souls to God. But the younger Friar, who was not soovercome with fear as his comrade, made answer that, as the door wasclosed against them, they must e'en try to get through the window, for,whatever befel them, they could meet with nothing worse than death; towhich the fat Friar agreed.

  The young one then opened the window, and, finding that it was not veryhigh above the ground, leaped lightly down and fled as fast and as faras he could, without waiting for his companion. The latter attempted thesame hazardous jump, but in place of leaping, fell so heavily by reasonof his weight, that one of his legs was sorely hurt, and he could notrise from the ground.

  Finding himself forsaken by his companion and being unable to followhim, he looked around him to see where he might hide, and could espynothing save a pigsty, to which he dragged himself as well as he could.And as he opened the door to hide himself within, out rushed two hugepigs, whose place the unhappy Friar took, closing the little door uponhimself, and hoping that, when he heard the sound of passers-by, hewould be able to call out and obtain assistance.

  As soon as the morning was come, however, the butcher got ready his bigknives, and bade his wife bear him company whilst he went to slaughterhis fat pig. And when he reached the sty in which the Grey Friar layconcealed, he opened the little door and began to call at the top of hisvoice--

  "Come out, Master Grey Friar, come out! I intend to have some of yourchitterlings to-day."

  The poor Friar, who was not able to stand upon his leg, crawled onall-fours out of the sty, crying for mercy as loud as he could. But ifthe hapless Friar was in great terror, the butcher and his wife were inno less; for they thought that St. Francis was wrathful with them forcalling a beast a Grey Friar, and therefore threw themselves upon theirknees asking pardon of St. Francis and his Order. Thus, the Friar wascrying to the butcher for mercy on the one hand, and the butcher tothe Friar on the other, in such sort that a quarter of an hour went bybefore they felt safe from each other.

  Perceiving at last that the butcher intended him no hurt, the goodfather told him the reason why he had hidden himself in the sty. Thenwas their fear turned to laughter, except, indeed, that the poor Friar'sleg was too painful to suffer him to be merry. However, the butcherbrought him into the house, where he caused the hurt to be carefullydressed.

  His comrade, who had deserted him in his need, ran all night long, andin the morning came to the house of the Lord of Fors, where he lodgeda complaint against the butcher, whom he suspected of killing hiscompanion, seeing that the latter had not followed him. The Lord of Forsforthwith sent to Grip to learn the truth, and this, when known, was byno means the cause of tears. And he failed not to tell the story to hismistress the Duchess of Angouleme, mother of King Francis, first of thatname. (4)

  4 Many modern stories and anecdotes have been based on this amusing tale.--Ed.

  "You see, ladies, how bad a thing it is to listen to secrets that do notconcern us, and to misunderstand what other people say."

  "Did I not know," said Simontault, "that Nomer-fide would give us nocause to weep, but rather to laugh? And I think that we have all done sovery heartily."

  "How comes it," said Oisille, "that we are more ready to be amused by apiece of folly than by something wisely done?"

  "Because," said Hircan, "the folly is more agreeable to us, for it ismore akin to our own nature, which of itself is never wise. And like isfond of like, the fool of folly, and the wise man of discretion. ButI am sure," he continued, "that no one, whether foolish or wise, couldhelp laughing at this story."

  "There are some," said Geburon, "whose hearts are so bestowed on thelove of wisdom that, whatever they may hear, they cannot be made tolaugh. They have a gladness of heart and a moderate content such asnought can move."

  "Who are they?" asked Hircan.

  "The philosophers of olden days," said Geburon. "They were scarcelysensible of either sadness or joy, or at least they gave no token ofeither, so great a virtue did they deem the conquest of themselves andtheir passions. I too think, as they did, that it is well to subdue awicked passion, but a victory over a natural passion, and one that tendsto no evil, appears useless in my eyes."

  "And yet," added Geburon, "the ancients held it for a great virtue."

  "It is not maintained," said Saffredent, "that they all were wise. Theyhad more of the appearance of sense and virtue than of the reality."

  "Nevertheless, you will find that they rebuke everything bad," saidGeburon. "Diogenes himself, even, trod on the bed of Plato, who was toofond (5) of rare and precious things for his taste, and this in order toshow that he despised Plato's vanity and greed, and would put them underfoot. 'I trample with contempt,' said he, 'upon the pride of Plato.'"

  "But you have not told all," said Saffredent, "for Plato retorted thathe did so from pride of another kind."

  "In truth," said Parlamente, "it is impossible to accomplish theconquest of ourselves without extraordinary pride. And this is thevice that we should fear most of all, for it springs from the death anddestruction of all the virtues."

  "Did I not read to you this morning," said Oisille, "that those whothought themselves wiser than other men, since by the sole light ofreason they had come to recognise a God, creator of all things, weremade more ignorant and irrational not only than other men, but than thevery brutes, and this because the
y did not ascribe the glory to Him towhom it was due, but thought that they had gained the knowledge theypossessed by their own endeavours? For having erred in their mindsby ascribing to themselves that which pertains to God alone, theymanifested their errors by disorder of body, forgetting and pervertingtheir natural sex, as St. Paul to-day doth tell us in the Epistle thathe wrote to the Romans." (6)

  5 The French word here is _curieux_, which in Margaret's time implied one fond of rare and precious things.--B. J

  6 _Romans_ i. 26, 27.--Ed.

  "There is none among us," said Parlamente, "but will confess, on readingthat Epistle, that outward sin is but the fruit of infelicity dwellingwithin, which, the more it is hidden by virtue and marvels, is the moredifficult to pluck out."

  "We men," said Hircan, "are nearer to salvation than you are, for we donot conceal our fruits, and so the root is readily known; whereas you,who dare not display the fruit, and who do so many seemingly fair deeds,are hardly aware of the root of pride that is growing beneath so brave asurface."

  "I acknowledge," said Longarine, "that if the Word of God does not showus by faith the leprosy of unbelief that lurks in the heart, yet Godis very merciful to us when He allows us to fall into some visiblewrongdoing whereby the hidden plague may be made manifest. Happy arethey whom faith has so humbled that they have no need to test theirsinful nature by outward acts."

  "But just look where we are now," said Simontault. "We started from afoolish tale, and we are now fallen into philosophy and theology. Letus leave these disputes to such as are more fitted for such speculation,and ask Nomerfide to whom she will give her vote."

  "I give it," she said, "to Hircan, but I commend to him the honour ofthe ladies."

  "You could not have commended it in a better place," said Hircan, "forthe story that I have ready is just such a one as will please you. Itwill, nevertheless, teach you to acknowledge that the nature of men andwomen is of itself prone to vice if it be not preserved by Him to whomthe honour of every victory is due. And to abate the pride that youdisplay when a story is told to your honour, I will tell you one of adifferent kind that is strictly true."

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  [The Lady embracing the Supposed Friar]

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