The Tales Of The Heptameron, Vol. V. (of V.) Read online

  _TALE LXVIII_.

  _An apothecary's wife, finding that her husband made no great account of her, and wishing to be better loved by him, followed the advice that he had given to a "commere" (1) of his, whose sickness was of the same kind as her own; but she prospered not so well as the other, and instead of love reaped hate_.

  1 Mr W. Kelly has pointed out (Bohn's _Heptameron_, p. 395) that in France the godfather and godmother of a child are called in reference to each other compere and commere, terms implying mutual relations of an extremely friendly kind. "The same usage exists in all Catholic countries," adds Mr Kelly, "and one of the novels of the _Decameron_ is founded on a very general opinion in Italy that an amorous connection between a _compadre_ and his _commadre_ partook almost of the nature of incest."

  In the town of Pau in Beam there was an apothecary whom men calledMaster Stephen. He had married a virtuous wife and a thrifty, withbeauty enough to content him. But just as he was wont to taste differentdrugs, so did he also with women, that he might be the better able tospeak of all kinds. His wife was greatly tormented by this, and atlast lost all patience; for he made no account of her except by way ofpenance during Holy Week.

  One day when the apothecary was in his shop, and his wife had hiddenherself behind him to listen to what he might say, a woman, who was"commere" to the apothecary, and was stricken with the same sickness ashis own wife, came in, and, sighing, said to him--

  "Alas, good godfather, I am the most unhappy woman alive. I love myhusband better than myself, and do nothing but think of how I may serveand obey him; but all my labour is wasted, for he prefers the wickedest,foulest, vilest woman in the town to me. So, godfather, if you know ofany drug that will change his humour, prithee give it me, and, if I bewell treated by him, I promise to reward you by all means in my power."

  The apothecary, to comfort her, said that he knew of a powder which, ifshe gave it to her husband with his broth or roast, after the fashionof Duke's powder, (2) would induce him to entertain her in the bestpossible manner. The poor woman, wishing to behold this miracle, askedhim what the powder was, and whether she could have some of it. Hedeclared that there was nothing like powder of cantharides, of whichhe had a goodly store; and before they parted she made him preparethis powder, and took as much of it as was needful for her purpose. Andafterwards she often thanked the apothecary, for her husband, who wasstrong and lusty, and did not take too much, was none the worse for it.

  2 Boaistuau and Gruget call this preparation _poudre de Dun_, as enigmatical an appellation as _poudre de Duc_. As for the specific supplied by the apothecary, the context shows that this was the same aphrodisiac as the Marquis de Sades put to such a detestable use at Marseilles in 1772, when, after fleeing from justice, he was formally sentenced to death, and broken, in effigy, upon the wheel. See P. Lacroix's _Curiosites de l'histoire de France, IIeme Serie_, Paris, 1858.--Ed.

  The apothecary's wife heard all this talk, and thought within herselfthat she had no less need of the recipe than her husband's "commere."Observing, therefore, the place where her husband put the remainder ofthe powder, she resolved that she would use some of it when she foundan opportunity; and this she did within three or four days. Her husband,who felt a coldness of the stomach, begged her to make him some goodsoup, but she replied that a roast with Duke's powder would be betterfor him; whereupon he bade her go quickly and prepare it, and takecinnamon and sugar from the shop. This she did, not forgetting also totake the remainder of the powder given to the "commere," without anyheed to dose, weight or measure.

  The husband ate the roast, and thought it very good. Before long,however, he felt its effects, and sought to soothe them with his wife,but this he found was impossible, for he felt all on fire, in such wisethat he knew not which way to turn. He then told his wife that she hadpoisoned him, and demanded to know what she had put into the roast. Sheforthwith confessed the truth, telling him that she herself required therecipe quite as much as his "commere." By reason of his evil plight,the poor apothecary could belabour her only with hard words; however,he drove her from his presence, and sent to beg the Queen of Navarre'sapothecary (3) to come and see him. This the Queen's apothecary did, andwhilst giving the other all the remedies proper for his cure (which ina short time was effected) he rebuked him very sharply for his follyin counselling another to use drugs that he was not willing to takehimself, and declared that his wife had only done her duty, inasmuch asshe had desired to be loved by her husband.

  3 It was from her apothecary no doubt that Queen Margaret heard this story.--Ed.

  Thus the poor man was forced to endure the results of his folly inpatience, and to own that he had been justly punished in being broughtinto such derision as he had proposed for another.

  "Methinks, ladies, this woman's love was as indiscreet as it was great."

  "Do you call it loving her husband," said Hircan, "to give him pain forthe sake of the delight that she herself looked to have?"

  "I believe," said Longarine, "she only desired to win back her husband'slove, which she deemed to have gone far astray; and for the sake of suchhappiness there is nothing that a woman will not do." "Nevertheless,"said Geburon, "a woman ought on no account to make her husband eat ordrink anything unless, either through her own experience or thatof learned folk, she be sure that it can do him no harm. Ignorance,however, must be excused, and hers was worthy of excuse; for the mostblinding passion is love, and the most blinded of persons is a woman,since she has not strength enough to conduct so weighty a matterwisely."

  "Geburon," said Oisille, "you are departing from your own excellentcustom so as to make yourself of like mind with your fellows; but thereare women who have endured love and jealousy in patience."

  "Ay," said Hircan, "and pleasantly too; for the most sensible are thosewho take as much amusement in laughing at their husbands' doings, astheir husbands take in secretly deceiving them. If you will make itmy turn, so that the Lady Oisille may close the day, I will tell you astory about a wife and her husband who are known to all of us here."

  "Begin, then," said Nomerfide; and Hircan, laughing, began thus:--

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  169a. The Wife discovering her Husband in the Hood oftheir Serving-maid]

  [The Wife discovering her Husband in the Hood of their Serving-maid]

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